Your standard legal disclaimer thing: I don't own Kim Possible. I will remove this story off the net if they give me shit. Blah blah blah, yada yada yada. You all know the drill by now.
Small Surprises, Big Consequences
Chapter 2: Impossibilities
In all of Kim's seventeen years of life, she'd never been this confused. All of a sudden those nagging suspicions and strange feelings were beginning to make an odd sort of sense to the redhead. Agni looked and acted almost exactly like Shego! No wonder she couldn't place the similarities; as far as the redhead was concerned, it was impossible. Shego the master criminal? Shego the thief? Shego the mercenary? That Shego, a mother? Never! The thought that her rival had a family of any sort was strange enough. Kim was still slightly weirded out by the existence of Shego's brothers. Then again, that idea was at least semi-plausible. This new development, however, had Kim wondering when Ashton Kutcher was going to pop up out of nowhere and laugh at her.
Agni had said she was twelve years old, the same as the Tweebs, and Kim had believed her. But that couldn't be right, could it? How old was Shego if it were true? In all of Kim's investigations into the dark-haired thief's life, she was never even able to get her real name, let alone her age. Everything about the super-powered woman was shrouded in mystery. As near as Wade could tell during his searches, she must have meticulously stolen or deleted almost all government files on herself. Kim had managed to find out exactly three things about Shego in the years she'd known her: she had four siblings, used to be a superhero, and came from Go City. Once she'd learned these facts, Kim had constructed several theories as to why Shego left Team Go, all of which were either hobbled or obliterated as soon as Kim heard Agni say that Shego was her mother.
'Shego does not equal... Mommy! It makes no sense!'
Kim was jolted out of her reverie when she felt Agni push past her and run up to Shego, throwing her arms around the stunned woman's waist. Shego, for her part, was still looking down at the girl in shock, having forgotten that Kim was even in the hallway with them. A deep part of Kim's brain kept trying to tell her that now would be a good time to save the people of Las Vegas, but the rest of her brain was deaf to its suggestions. All she was concerned with was why Agni came to her for help in the first place.
Shego seemed to regain her bearings while looking down at the young girl currently hugging her arms around her. Her expression seemed troubled, but soon became resolute. Bringing her right arm up, she bared her wrist and revealed a small watch-communicator. She pressed the call button and Drakken's nasal voice came through clearly.
"Shego? What is it? Did you stop Kim Possible?" There was a pause. "My new sub-zero base is going to self destruct, isn't it?" To Kim's ears, Drakken sounded both forlorn and resigned.
"Uh, Doc… listen, something's come up and I gotta take off." Shego said in a somewhat distracted voice.
"What? But Shego, you're on the clock! We're in the middle of a big operation! Really big! And expensive! The guards alone-"
Kim snorted. "Took less than five minutes to get through. You got robbed, Drakken."
"Oh, for - she's interrupting me on my communicator now too?" There was a distant sound of Drakken kicking something impotently. "Nnngg... Shego, come on!"
Shego growled into the communicator, eliciting a squeak of fear from the man. "Okay, listen up, Dr. D! I'm taking a personal day, got it? If you wanna make a big thing outta this, then cancel my damn contract!" Her tone brooked absolutely no argument.
"But Shego, I-"
"No buts!" Shego hissed and cut the communication. She turned her attention back to the child wrapped around her midsection. After a moment of thought, the thief looked down at Agni and placed her hand gingerly on the girl's shoulder, as though the girl might vanish if pressure were applied. It was the first time Kim had ever seen the green woman look so vulnerable. The redhead was beginning to feel self-conscious at seeing all of this, like some voyeur. However, Shego didn't seem to mind or even notice Kim's presence. She just stared off into space.
The green woman's voice cracked when she tried to say something to her daughter, so she stopped and cleared her throat first.
"H-hey, kid. You, uh… what are you doing here...?" Shego managed to ask, and then winced. It clearly didn't come out the way she intended. Seeing Shego so tongue tied and nervous was vexing the redhead, who was used to her proud and arrogant declarations. Agni just looked up at the woman she identified as her mother and smiled brightly.
"I wanted to see you. So I went and did it. Simple, right?" The young girl acted like she didn't notice the heavy atmosphere in the room. Shego furrowed her brow at the response.
"Ah, you, um, you really shouldn't have just shown up like this. Your grandparents are probably going to think I kidnapped you, y'know?"
Agni mood suddenly soured and she averted her gaze. "Pfft. Screw 'em."
Kim decided that it was well past time for her to leave the hallway. She and Shego had a very professional relationship that was quickly becoming deeply personal. She doubted that Shego or Agni would appreciate her presence and Kim was beginning to feel really uncomfortable. However, when she began to slink around the two for her escape, Shego's hand struck out of nowhere and grabbed Kim by her collar, pushing her hard against the metal wall. Kim looked up quickly and grabbed Shego's wrist to make her let go, but the black-haired thief's grip was like steel and her gaze bore deep into the younger woman.
"Hey there, Cupcake, how ya doin'? Blond jackass out sick? Yeah, whatever - see, here's what's gonna happen now. You, Princess, you are going to tell me right now why you were carting around my daughter on one of your missions. If you choose not to tell me this vital piece of information... well, it's vital information, get me?" While Kim struggled to release herself, she was surprised when Agni suddenly spoke up.
"For the record, I didn't really give her much choice. I sorta forced her to help me." the young girl said casually. In Kim's opinion, the girl's matter-of-fact tone belied any altruistic intentions.
"You... forced Kim Possible to help you?" Shego asked, craning one of her eyebrows.
"Yeah, cool, huh? You proud of me?" Agni asked, smiling. Apparently, manipulating Kim into marching to the child's tune was an act worthy of her mother's praise. Shego reached forward and gently ruffled the younger girl's hair. 'Okay, scratch "apparently."'
"Sure I am. It's hard enough for me to deal with her." Shego smiled, but it was a forced expression. After a few seconds past she let go of Kim's shirt and knelt down so that she was at eye level with Agni.
"Let's go get something to eat. It's getting late, and I bet you haven't had dinner."
"Despite my best efforts..." Kim grumbled.
Agni grinned and grabbed her mother by the hand. "Yeah, let's go!"
As the two started walking back the way Kim originally came Shego stopped and without turning around spoke out to the redhead.
"Well, you coming?" Shego asked. Her voice was an unreadable neutral. Kim's eyes widened.
"I'm invited too?" She asked, finding the concept hard to swallow. They were archenemies the last time she checked. Hell, just two minutes ago the older woman hadn't hesitated before slamming Kim into a wall.
"Of course, I'm not through with you yet."
"I only did what I always do! It was that little brat that decided to tag along! Besides, I have to save this city, remember? From you?"
"First off, don't call my daughter a brat. Second, Drakken didn't want you or anyone else to know this, but this floating tin can? Yeah, it has about three hours left of fuel. You've already won, so c'mon."
"Aww, why does she have to come? I finally found you, so we don't need her any more." Agni whined. Apparently, the girl thought Kim was a glorified chauffeur. Shego looked like she was about to chastise Agni, but visibly checked herself. It was almost as though she didn't think she had a right to discipline her. Instead she just said, "Well she is coming. Deal."
"Damn!"
Kim didn't move. If Shego wanted her to come along she would need a far better reason than that. She told Shego as much.
"Just… do me this favor, 'kay? You already owe me for dragging Agni into this potentially dangerous situation."
Kim opened her mouth to speak but realized that any excuse she could come up with would sound hollow. She had allowed a little girl to talk her into taking her along into a large floating doom-fortress filled with hair-trigger goons who probably would have felt the same about beating down on a little girl as on the teen hero. Eating dinner with the kid and her mom was the very least Kim could do.
Kim sighed, defeated, and moved up alongside Shego. "Fine, you win." She groaned when she saw Agni glare at the teen accusingly and if that wasn't enough, she stuck her tongue out at Kim. Some days it was simply not worth getting out of bed.
-One hour later-
Kim was sitting across from Shego and Agni in a small town restaurant they had spotted from the air. Shego had taken Drakken's hover-pod after leaving the sub-zero machine, and as far as Kim could tell, they seemed to be heading back in the direction of Middleton. The entire trip had felt unbelievably strained, with none of the three occupants willing to break the silence. Kim had little to say; she had gotten the distinct impression that asking Shego questions about this subject would be kind of like throwing a hornet's nest at a brick wall. Kim wasn't sure what Shego was thinking, but she knew it was about Agni; the pale woman kept sneaking pained glances at her daughter, as if she were simultaneously willing Agni out of existence and wishing like hell she could just hug the kid and never let go.
In contrast to the other two, Agni seemed completely untroubled and content as she sat holding tightly onto Shego's hand and listened to her MP3 player, which actually made it more awkward for the other occupants of the vehicle; the cheerful strains of Lily Allen's "Smile" were the exact wrong accompaniment to Kim and Shego's mood, no matter how distant and tinny they sounded. It had been a welcome change in scenery when they spotted the all-night breakfast place on the way. Kim hadn't realized it at the time but she hadn't eaten since breakfast. Agni showed up right before the teen would have had lunch.
Once they were seated, Agni wasted no time ordering herself a large pile of waffles smothered in just about everything on the table. Kim was about to ask if she could order something along those lines and take full advantage of the situation, but then Shego looked up sharply at her and said, "You know I'm not paying for you, right?" Considering that Agni's order was out of Kim's current budget she was forced to simply settle on a small plate of scrambled eggs. Shego for her part just sipped a cup of black coffee that Kim was sure was still too hot to drink without scalding her.
'Darn it, I wish I had green fire powers too…'
They ate (or in Shego's case drank) in silence for over ten excruciating minutes. Kim was getting sick-to-death of the unbearable quiet that she had been wrapped in for over two hours. The cheerleader was used to a lively dinner table with her family talking about their day, or eating out with Ron and Rufus at Bueno Nacho.
That thought only served to further sour the cheerleader's already sour mood. Glancing to her left, she stared at the empty spot where her best friend, now ex-boyfriend, would normally be sitting. That, added to the guilt of going on the mission without him, made Kim feel pretty low. She wasn't sure how much more of this (frankly insane) situation she could take. If someone didn't start talking soon, she didn't know what she would do, but she was reasonably sure it involved punching something.
'You know, Kim, you are the resident hero. If anyone's going to save anyone it's going to be you, even if it's just you saving yourself from going crazy.'
Kim cleared her throat and got the grudging attention of the other two at the booth. She was about to ask Agni, "So how long has Shego been your mother," but she quickly stopped herself from saying anything quite that certifiable. Instead she went for an easier approach.
"So, um… how long has it been since you've seen each other?" asked Kim. The teen shrank back when she noticed that Shego's gaze was currently trying to eat her soul. Agni, on the other hand, was busy doing some quick mental math. After a second the girl swallowed her current bite of delicious waffle and looked over at Shego.
"Eight years, right?"
Now Kim was very glad she wasn't drinking anything, or else she would have spat it all over the green woman, likely signing and notarizing her death certificate. Eight years! Kim couldn't even fathom keeping out of contact with her family for that long. 'No wonder Shego seemed so out of sorts when she saw Agni. How could it have been eight whole years?'
Shego leaned forward at the table and rubbed her temples to stave off what was clearly a mother of a headache. "Uh, heh, yeah, eight sounds... about right."
Agni grinned proudly. "I remembered because it was your eighteenth birthday, even if I was just four at the time. I've got a pretty good memory, right?"'
Such simple math was processed almost automatically in Kim's head. Wait a second… If Shego is twenty-six and Agni is twelve…' Kim's eye nearly bugged out of her head, 'then Shego was only fourteen when Agni was born!'
Shego silenced the words about to exit Kim's mouth with a dangerous look, before adding. "Yeah, pretty good alright… heh heh... haaaahhh."
If there was one thing Shego did not want right then, it was to bring up... that night in front of her archrival. The older woman looked over at Agni and pulled a wet nap from her pocket, handing it to the small girl.
"Go to the bathroom and wipe that crap off your face, I'm sick of seeing it." Kim wasn't sure as to what Shego was referring to, but Agni did just that, leaving Kim alone with Shego for what seemed like the first time since the girl showed up on Kim's doorstep, which was roughly equivalent to a geological age in Kim's opinion. Shego turned to Kim and her expression was stern.
"First you show up out of nowhere with my brothers and now you show up with Agni. What is with you and this unhealthy obsession you have with my family?"
Kim wasn't about to take such an accusation without challenge, so she snapped back. "Y'know, maybe if you didn't estrange the freakin' lot of them they wouldn't keep coming to me to find you!"
"The situation between my brothers and me and the situation between Agni and me are so totally not the same thing!" she hollered. "Besides, it's none of your business anyway, so butt out!"
"You made it my business when you dragged me in here!"
The thief halted her next scathing comment and looked down at her intertwined hands introspectively. "Err, yeah, about that… I need-" She cut herself off as she saw Agni walk back to the table. Kim quickly did a double take when she saw that Agni's skin had apparently changed color. Instead of being a pasty off-white bordering on albinism, now her skin was a very familiar creamy light shade of green. For a moment Kim was at a loss, but she soon put two and two together.
'Agni was wearing makeup! Wow, I wonder if she inherited any of Shego's other "traits..."'
Agni casually took her seat across from Kim and began to resume eating without giving the redhead a second glance. In addition to arguing with Kim, Shego had used the time the kid was gone to quickly figure out a topic to talk about with her.
"Your birthday was about three months ago… Did you receive my package?"
'I guess they at least keep in touch,' Kim figured.
Agni looked up and nodded, happy that the woman had finally attempted to start a conversation. "Yeah, it was great! Thanks!" She reached up and pulled down the neck of her sweater, revealing a massive gold necklace encrusted with emeralds and ornately carved obsidian engravings. Kim recognized it immediately, considering that that very necklace had disappeared from the British Royal Museum over six months ago. It was a priceless royal family heirloom from the 16th century! Kim had actually been asked to retrieve the necklace herself but there wasn't a trace of it to be found, and other more important missions took priority.
For her part Shego just smiled. "I'm glad you like it, a girl your age needs to start worrying about accessories."
Kim leaned forward and as quietly as she could so as not to alert the other diners, she hissed at Shego, "You gave your daughter stolen goods?"
Shego just raised an eyebrow at Kim. "Are you that shocked by the notion?" Quickly, before Kim had a chance to say anything else on the matter, she turned back to Agni. "So… How's school going?"
The young pale girl's expression hardened automatically, which made it seem as thought she were glaring at her waffles. "Hate it, the teachers and students are complete idiots."
Shego snickered. "Yeah, you'll find that's the case with most people, kid. You get used to it."
Kim decided not to be left in the dust and chimed in. "So what school do you go to?"
Agni cast her a glare and in a barely audible mumble she said, "Go Academy for Gifted Women. Or Hell, if you wanna get technical." Shego clicked her tongue disapprovingly when she heard the name but said nothing.
Kim's eyes widened. She knew all about that school. It was this rich all-girls academy that was equipped to teach kindergarten through high school for the best and brightest women in the country! They had even scouted Kim when she was younger, but the redhead had turned them down so she could stay in Middleton with her family. She found it hard to believe that the girl in front of her could go to a facility where you were not only required to wear a uniform and sit up straight all the time, but dealing with some of the most challenging curriculum in the nation. The child in front of her was dressed like a hobo and slouched over her food with her elbows on the table. Definitely not your standard Go Academy material.
Kim realized she was staring when the young girl looked up angrily and said, "I told you before to stop staring at me. It's creeping me out!" Kim sighed and averted her gaze.
Shego leaned back in her seat. "While we're on the subject, you should know that I'm fully aware of your... imperfect attendance record last semester. Care to shed some light on that?"
Agni's eyes widened, and she gulped nervously. Then she slowly looked up at Shego with an expression Kim recognized from the Tweebs whenever Anne was about to scold them. "Well, I mean… It's not like they were teaching me anything I didn't already, y'know, know, right? I had lotsa better things to do than sit in some classroom."
Shego scrutinized her offspring for a moment. "And exactly how many days did you have, ahem, 'better things to do'? Refresh my memory."
Agni smiled nervously, "Um… not that many… just… tnnrmmnn..."
"Care to repeat that?" Shego asked warningly.
Agni sighed and looked down at her plate, resigned. "…About twenty."
Oh yeah, Kim thought, big family resemblance.
She smirked and Agni calmed down immediately at the sight, "Well then, that's twenty days that I paid for your school to drag its ass." The older woman shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to take back whatever that's worth from 'em."
Agni snickered and looked up at Shego. "Eh, don't worry about it. It's not like I'm gonna go there anymore." This, needless to say, caught both women's immediate attention. It caught Shego's attention so well, in fact, that she nearly spilled her coffee.
'What does she mean by that?' Kim thought. Apparently Shego had the same idea and vocalized the question.
Agni gulped down another bite of chewed waffle and looked her mother in the eye. "What I mean is that I'm gonna live with you from now on, so it doesn't matter." She paused, then added impishly, " But we can still raid the place if you wanna." Kim could practically feel all of Shego's muscles stiffen up at hearing the young girl's naive statement. It apparently didn't escape Agni's notice either and the thief's daughter frowned.
"That's... that's okay, right? I mean… there's no way I'm ever going back to that crappy city or that even crappier school. I want to stay with you, Mom. I mean, come on." There was an openly pleading look in her eyes that Shego was having trouble dealing with.
"Wuh-we'll talk about it when we get back to my apartment, 'kay?" Shego managed to say in a somewhat distant tone of voice. Regardless the words seemed to pacify the younger girl and she finished the final bite of her meal. Shego and Kim, having ordered much smaller portions than the girl, had finished a good deal earlier and were simply waiting for Agni to catch up. All three then stood up to leave the restaurant since Shego had already paid upfront, but the pale-green woman placed a hand on Agni's shoulder, halting her.
"Whoa there, squirt. Wait here for a minute. I gotta go have a word with Kim alone." Her voice was stern and while that normally would have gotten an immediate response from Agni, this time she decided to contest her instructions.
"Why? Why is she even still here? We should just drop her off now and go back to your place! I mean..." Shego would have none of that, however; she narrowed her eyes at the girl, causing Agni to wince and take a step back.
"Just... be a good girl for me, got it?"
Agni nodded and grudgingly crossed her arms. "Whatever…" The young girl didn't understand why her mother had insisted that Kim come along with them. As far as she knew, they hated each other, although anyone who had looked in on their last meal would have probably thought otherwise. She secretly hoped that her mother was calling the redhead outside so she could beat her up like usual and leave her here in the middle of nowhere. As far as she was concerned, any enemy of Shego's was an enemy of hers. Plus it'd be funny.
What Agni envisioned couldn't have been further from the truth.
Shego led Kim outside the restaurant. The light from the surrounding street lamps bathed the parking lot in an eerie orange glow, which contrasted weirdly with Shego's skin, making her appear to be covered in flesh-toned paint. Kim had a feeling that she was finally going to be told why she had been brought along by her archrival in the first place. They weren't exactly friends after all. Once they were out front, Shego leaned against the establishment's wall and crossed her arms, while Kim stood in front of her waiting.
"Okay, Shego, spill."
The green woman sighed and seemed to be internally debating how to word what she wanted to say. After a moment, she found her voice.
"Okay, listen. I know I am not even orbiting the position I need to be in to ask anything from you, especially after the Lil' Diablo mess…" Kim nodded, agreeing with the sentiment. That hadn't been a good night for either of the two women. "But," she added, "I really, really, really need your help with this. Like, more then anything I could ever ask of you. I will get down on my knees and I will beg like a Goddamn dog right there in the dirt if that is what it takes to freaking convince you, okay?"
Now Kim was on her guard. The idea of Shego begging was equivalent to the idea of going on a whitewater rafting trip with Dracula and Bigfoot; it simply wasn't possible. Of course, just four hours ago, Shego having a daughter was even more impossible; so this was really just par for the course. She realized Shego was waiting for a response, so she spoke up.
"Go on, I'm listening."
Shego took a deep breath to steel herself and looked at Kim pleadingly. "Please don't tell anyone about Agni." Kim took a step back.
"What? Why's that?"
The older woman shook her head. "Listen and listen good. I have devoted a sizable amount of my time and capital to making sure that there is as little connecting her to me as there possibly can be."
Kim thought back to the stolen necklace, but she decided against mentioning it.
"When I tell you nobody outside of my family knows that Agni is my daughter, I mean nobody. Even her birth certificate was altered. As far as the rest of the world knows, you could be her mother." She looked up at Kim. "And now you know this, and that puts me in a very delicate position, because she deserves as much of a chance as any of those other stuck-up little bitches at her school, and she won't have that if..." Shego hung her head in shame for a moment, then looked back at Kim. "Anyway, you don't have any reason to do me any favors or keep any secrets for me, so-"
"I won't tell anyone." Kim stated, cutting the woman off. Shego looked up at her in surprise.
"You won't? Why? You've got absolutely no reason to help me." Shego said narrowing her eyes and clearly not buying it. She had expected that she might have to bribe or bargain with the young Possible but it seemed like the girl was offering to help her out with no strings attached.
Kim snorted. "Because I'm a hero, dummy. And also because I kind of agree with you; everyone deserves a chance to succeed, even a little... a girl like Agni. And finally because it's none of my business anyway. Your family is just that: yours. I have nothing to do with it."
Kim thought she saw Shego blush. "Uh… I... Er... Thanks."
Kim could tell from the strain in Shego's voice that it was just as difficult for the thief to express gratitude as it was for her daughter to apologize. The redhead found that to be strangely endearing. One thing was nagging at her, however.
"You're not going to let her live with you, are you?" Considering Shego's stance on people knowing about Agni, she doubted it. Kim couldn't see Shego being a very stable adult to live with either. After all, the green woman openly enjoyed her status as an international fugitive. In response Shego looked up at Kim sharply.
"Of course I'm not! Jesus, I'm not an idiot. I'll let her stay the night and then first thing tomorrow I'm driving her back to her grandparents' place." She suppressed a shudder at the thought. "Shit, I can't believe you even asked that. Who the hell do you think I am?"
Kim held up both hands defensively. "Whoa, touchy much? I just needed to make sure, okay? So not the drama!" Shego sighed and rubbed her temples for the second time that night.
"Okay, get in the pod. I'll go get Agni and then drop you off at your house."
Kim nodded and went to do as she was asked. She hoped that her parents weren't going to be too mad about her coming home so late, since she was mentally too exhausted to deal with that. Above all else, she was reprocessing everything that Shego had told her. The hero was honestly having trouble understanding why the older woman was so adamant about keeping the young girl at arm's length. She understood Shego's reasoning, but the facts still didn't add up. The thief never had trouble balancing her fugitive status and her social life before, so that meant that there had to be some other factor involved. Kim didn't want to inquire; as she had said earlier, it wasn't her business. She also knew that she had gotten all she was going to get out of Shego for the night, but the mystery irked her nonetheless.
The familiar three-tone ring of her Kimmunicator cut off her thoughts. Quickly pulling the device from her pocket, Kim fully expected to see Wade's name across the ID bar, but instead, much to her chagrin, it was Ron.
'He's probably going to ask why I didn't invite him along on this mission. What'll I tell him when I don't even really know the answer?' She thought fast, 'Well, Shego and Agni are about to step out of the diner; I don't really have time to answer right now anyway... She watched sadly as the tone finally cut off. I'll just… I'll call him back when I get home', she reasoned, as her two companions made their way out to the parking lot.
Quietly, Kim pocketed her Kimmunicator.
-One hour later, outside the Possible residence-
The ride home had been as silent as it was before the pit stop; however, this time Agni turned on the radio and over the news the three heard how the giant ice dome over Las Vegas was currently evaporating away and that the fugitive, one Dr. Drew Lipsky, was currently in military custody. Agni laughed out loud at that, but Kim and Shego remained silent as they made their way towards the Possible residence. Every now and then Kim got the feeling that Agni was glaring at her from the backseat, but she learned to ignore it after awhile.
When they finally arrived at Kim's suburban home, the redhead hopped out of the hover-pod with light grace and before she could turn to say "goodbye" or "thanks for the ride" (she was, after all, a very polite young woman even in the presence of enemies), Shego turned the pod around and sped off, presumably to her mysterious apartment. As the pod disappeared into the distance, Kim could have sworn that she saw Agni sticking her tongue out at her again. The redhead merely sighed and made her way inside with every intention of ignoring the gesture. She honestly hoped that by morning she would forget all events that had occurred that day so that she could move on with her relatively normal life.
She had no idea how impossible that would turn out to be. Even for a Possible.
Chapter 2: End
Be sure to remember, the awesomness of this chapter is owed almost entirely to the hard work of my beta, Ffordesoon. Work made even harder by what a pain in the ass I can be.