Cousin - Chapter One - Fearful Encounters Upon Arrival

"Cousin."

His eyes would meet mine, boring into me as he said that word, full of propriety with underlying tints of loathing and hatred. That was the only word he ever spoke to me anymore added with a slight inclination of his head. During our childhood we were so close, yet that bond had been reduced to that one word on occasion…

I came to fear such encounters, and every time there was such an occurrence I would freeze, lock up, and hold my breath with anticipation until he passed. Afterward, I would let out my breath with wide eyes and my hands held to my chest as if fearing for my very life. I had every right to considering, but in the end I felt weak and betrayed.

Not so many years ago we could be found playing in the garden soiling our formal clothing unknowingly while we went on excursions to the outskirts of the vast property claimed by the Hyuuga. It was always breathtaking in spring, various flowers bursting with beauty and vivid colors. The garden seemed almost as if it were another world altogether, there was no propriety there, just the two of us filled with wonder and curiosity.

I would hang on his coattails, clutching the course material as if it were a lifeline, and he would just smile knowingly down at me for my shy gestures and pull me into a brief hug under his arm.

Neji's presence always made me at ease in a world where ease was something for a lesser people. However, that died the spring he turned ten. He had been shipped to boarding school after his father died of a mysterious disease, his mother by poison not long after. Such a small boy plagued by such tragedy could hardly be helpful to the boy soon to be a man…

The days grew dull, there was no more laughter despite attempts to converse with my younger sister. A new governess saw to it that the two of us were always on task. Day in and day out mundane droning speeches were given and we were expected to learn. Hanabi did well enough, however I was always distracted when spring passed me by.

Neji hadn't even returned on a break for several years, though he did finish his schooling early. He returned home the spring that he was seventeen with a new air and an acquired attitude. He was not the Neji I remembered, the one I had grown close enough to claim as a brother. No, it was like day and night the sort of transformation he underwent.

The day he arrived home was a bright shining day. The garden's flowers burst open with color as if expecting a visitor that they hadn't seen in years. Their fragrance filled the air with their pungent aroma, and I inhaled deeply of their scent. My heart fluttered and memories of past times shifted through my mind. Images of bright eyes so much like my own filled with laughter and happiness as a grin spread easily across his childish features flashed before my eyes as I blinked and idly combed my fingers through the fringe of my bangs.

I was waiting for him, where we would always meet as children, the west meadow that bordered the Hyuuga estate's vast garden. Long stalks of grass up to my knees and higher lapped against my still form as a breeze shifted them. I waited for hours that day, but he never came. Distraught by four in the afternoon, I stirred from my beautiful vantage point of nature to return to society that lay in wait for me at my father's domain thinking that Neji's arrival must have been delayed.

Striding through French doors lazily and down long corridors I walked past my father's study. The door was open and at a passing glance I noticed stiff broad shoulders with long chocolate waves cascading down between such carefully held posture. At first, I could not recognize this man as anyone I knew, though I had to admit that there seemed to be a familiarity that I could not place.

Pausing at the entryway with curious eyes I regarded this man whom was speaking with my father. His deep, yet quiet tone kept me from hearing anything that he spoke, and despite leaning into the room I could not make out his words.

My father glanced to me in that moment. Smiling gently he extended his hand like a proper gentlemen, and with a curling of his fingers called out to me by name.

"Hinata, come. Greet your cousin whom you haven't seen in years."

Lilac eyes glanced sidelong in my direction without a hint of any emotion before smiling slightly, "Lady Hinata, it's been so long since I saw you last."

His voice wasn't one that I remembered yet his face held traces of the child he had been not so long ago. The monotonous tone which held no fondness whatsoever would never have been one I would have associated with my childhood friend, yet here he stood in front of me…Neji…niisan.

"Indeed," I bowed my head with a small curtsey that would be expected of me, he bowed just the same. The small smile he had allowed when he spoke to me vanished with the echo of his hollow words, and he just as soon turned his attention back to my father.

With a wave of his hand, my father dismissed me.

Carrying my distraught spirit back outside to our childhood meeting place, I felt heavy, weighted, and with little appetite for the supper later in the evening. This Neji, was not my Neji.

Letting myself go, I flopped unceremoniously into the tall grasses of the west meadow. I stared high into the afternoon sky, letting my eyes rove over every cloud I could see beyond the tall grasses that surrounded me, trying in vain to hold back the water welling up to cloud my vision.

All this time, I'd waited patiently for the return of a person who did not feel the same as I. Naïve my mind whispered to me. What did you expect from him? To remain unchanged…

I choked and the tears I had been trying to hold back flooded down my cheeks in hot rivulets. I sat up swiping my fingers at them, but they continued to fall and pool in my palms as I covered my face.

Selfishly I wanted things to go back as they had been, my childish notion led me to believe I could achieve such happiness once again…

"Lady Hinata, it is unbecoming of a lady to sob while wallowing in filth."

His searing tone cut straight through me causing me to sob harder nearly choking again with an added sniffle.

"Pitiful. You may look like a Hyuuga on the outside, but you are far from one on the inside, cousin. I suppose the main family has weaker blood than everyone has been led to believe. Not to worry, all will be rectified when all falls to me."

I did choke then, trying not to heave from such hurtful words as my eyes widened and it dawned… 'falls to me'. My eyes widened and I looked into the glaring face of my beloved cousin, who was no longer beloved.

He smiled sweetly, sardonically, "You knew all of this since infancy, why are you wearing that shocked expression as if you genuinely had no clue?"

Adverting my gaze, anywhere, I looked down searching the earth as if it had an answer. As if it knew the words that would describe the ache I felt deep in my chest. Why was I overreacting? I wiped at my tears angrily, mostly angry with myself.

Neji 'hmphed' when he gained no response to his question other than sniffles, and swiftly, gracefully departed.

I sat there in a daze until the sun began to set, highlighting the western hills of the west meadow. I watched its decent until only fragments of light crested the hills. With the oncoming of night, I struggled enough inside to rise on the outside and make my way back to society.

I had not been missed I noticed as I passed by numerous people including my family conversing in the library with Neji, as if he were actually missed by those who surrounded him. Genuinely feeling sick and the overwhelming desire to rest, drove me to my bedchamber where I readily undressed out of my soiled clothing. Not a moment after my dress had been removed, someone entered my room while I was only clothed in my undergarments. I gasped looking with wide eyes to the invader while I attempted to cover myself.

A maid blushed and pardoned herself before exiting swiftly.

Sighing lightly I quickly changed into my night gown, and walked over to my dressing table to wash away the dirt and grime with the water from my wash basin. The cool water soothed me as I rubbed my skin clean with a soft cloth, then dried it looking into a mirror at my reflection as I did so. I believed I looked more pale than I had ever remembered looking before. On top of that my eyes were swollen and tinged pink even though I had ceased crying a few hours before.

My whole world had crumbled, I realized as I stared at my reflection, and my door swung open once again, but was quickly closed after someone slipped in. There was nothing save for soft candlelight from one candle illuminating the room, which I had at my side. The door was shadowed as was the person who entered, and a sense of dread filled my body as my eyes widened.

"Lady Hinata, I did not mean to disturb you so late."

My breath hitched as I began to notice the facial features of the man standing at my closed door while I was in nothing more than a night gown. I noticed his eyes moved from my face, and even though instinctively my arms moved to cover my chest, he continued to stare as if he saw right through them.

Finally his eyes reached mine again and his expression hardened. I opened my mouth as he moved forward in three quick strides before he was upon me. A large hand covered my mouth as I was about to scream, and suddenly I was introduced to his warmth as his body pressed against my side.

"Despite my revulsion to you, there is something…" He inhaled deeply his face close to mine as he stared into my wide eyes. His large hand trailed from my mouth down to my throat as did his eyes. His grip constricted around my slight neck so easily as he cut off my air flow almost entirely.

Eyes so much like my own flicked up to meet mine, "You understand so very little, that it infuriates me. Your status, how you were born to more privilege… Yet…" He released his grip to caress my jaw line with his thumb. My eyes began to tear up, and he pulled away. He strode over to the door, giving one last glance over his shoulder before exiting just as quickly as he had come.

My once dear cousin's actions confounded me. Touching where his burning hand had nearly strangled me with my fingertips, I stared at the door where he had disappeared wondering what had changed him so as silent tears fell from my eyes.