A/N: I wanted to give a big shout out to "S" for giving me my 2000th review! I've been waiting a long time to hit that milestone, and I was so happy that the review that got me there was such a nice one! I wasn't sure it would be. ;) Ha! Anyway, it made my day, so thanks! Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter. There is a bit of drama in it and some more Karaoke! Song credits at the end.

Fist Fights

The minute Malfoy left the table with the twins trailing after him, Ginny plopped down in the vacant seat next to Hermione and squealed. "That was incredible, Hermione. That little performance of yours left Malfoy a love sick pile of goo. I wish I could do that to Harry," she said, a tad bit jealously. "Where on earth did you learn to do that?"

Hermione looked uncomfortable."My mum," she admitted. "She performed that song for my Dad's birthday last week. I kind of stole her 'dance' routine as well."

Ginny let out a giggle. "That doesn't seem at all like your mum. When I met her she seemed so prim and proper."

"She is until she's had a few drinks." Hermione sighed. "Apparently, I take after her."

"I'd say you most definitely do take after her. Did your mum take off her knickers as well?" Ginny grinned.


Ginny started giggling again.

Hermione made a face. "It gets worse. Afterwards, she came back and gave my dad a private performance of the 'goddess on my knees' part under the table. That's when I got the hell out. I only stayed as long as I did because I was putting off going to babysit Malfoy. That just proves how much I didn't want to babysit him."

"Speaking of Malfoy," said Ginny, her eyes twinkling. "I wonder what he's going to sing to you?"

"I have absolutely no idea," said Hermione, turning her gaze on Malfoy. He was looking at the song catalog with the twins. She anxiously waited for him to make his choice. She could feel the butterflies dancing in her stomach. She didn't know why this moment was so important to her, but it was. She didn't care if he sang off key or his voice cracked, she just wanted him to sing her a love song. She just hoped that whatever he picked, it was something romantic.


"It has to be sexy," Malfoy insisted. "Sexier than fucking Goyle's."

"How about this one?" said Fred, pointing to a song on the list. "You can't get much sexier than that."

"I don't know," said Malfoy. "I'm not familiar with that song."

"You should go with a boy band song," George suggested. "Girls eat that shit up."

"No," said Malfoy. "I'm not singing something cheesy."

"Ooh! I know!" exclaimed Fred. "How about some R&B? That is definitely a sexy style of music."

"Malfoy can't pull off R&B" George scoffed. "Look how pasty he is."

"Hmmm. You're right," Fred agreed. "Michael Bolton?"

Malfoy scowled. "Just give me that first song. It can't be worse than fucking Michael Bolton."

George went off to tell Johnny what song to play, and Fred hit Malfoy with some of his best boy band spells.

"There, you're all set," said Fred.

Malfoy got a funny look on his face. "Why do I feel like... dancing?"

"Because of the dancing spell," Fred replied as though it were obvious.

"Take it off," Malfoy demanded. He danced waltzes, and he wouldn't mind another tango with Granger or any other kind of slow dance for that matter, but he did not do the kind of dancing his pelvis was currently telling him he wanted to do.

"You're right," said Fred, taking off Malfoy's jacket. "We already know Hermione thinks you have a nice ass. Might as well let her see it when you shake it."

"No, I mean, take off the dancing spell," Malfoy clarified.

"You're up, mate," said George, coming back and clapping him on the back.

"Oops! No time," said Fred, smirking. "You heard the man, you're up."

"But I don't do this kind of dancing," Malfoy growled.

"You do tonight," said George, pushing him on stage.

Scowling at the twins, Malfoy walked to the center of the stage and grabbed the microphone. As soon as he saw the words to the song flash on the screen, he knew he had made a terrible mistake. Unfortunately, his courage refused to leave him, and he remained on the stage. He realized this was probably why most Gryffindors were so stupid. They didn't have the sense to know when to run. Thanks to that stupid bottle of Cupid's Courage, he was going down with this ship and he was doing it in a blaze of glory.

I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

He was happy that his voice didn't sound all that bad. It was deep and sexy and had a bit of a drawl which he was comfortable with. However, he was not happy with what his hips were doing. They were gyrating, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop.

I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

Damn it! That was his second favorite shirt that he just ruined when he ripped it off his body. Now all of those drunk bitches at the front table were fighting over it. It was as good as gone. The good news was that Granger appeared to be drooling a bit. He flexed his pecs to the beat of the music.

And I'm too sexy for Milan

Too sexy for Milan

New York and Japan

Ugh. How many things was he going to be too sexy for? Would this humiliation never end? He shook his ass, partly because of the spell and partly to distract from the lameness of the song.

And I'm too sexy for your party

Too sexy for your party

No way I'm disco dancing

Fuck! Why was he disco dancing? He just sang that there was no way he was doing that. And yet here he was pointing his finger up and down stupidly while thrusting his pelvis.

I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah

I do my little turn on the catwalk

He was strutting across the stage like a bloody super model. It was so gay, he was worried Granger might think he preferred someone like Longbottom rather than her. He should have went with Michael fucking Bolton.

I'm too sexy for my car

This song was so fucking stupid, he couldn't even listen to himself anymore. He tried to focus on Granger, but that just depressed him. She looked... disappointed.

Hermione couldn't tear her eyes away from Malfoy. It was like watching a train wreck and porn at the same time. She didn't know whether to be horrified or strangely turned on. He did look really hot with his shirt off, but this was not what she had been expecting. This was not what she wanted.

"This is absolutely cringe worthy," said Ginny, covering her eyes. "I can't even watch to make fun of him. I'm going to find you some better entertainment before he completely ruins your hen party." She slipped out of her chair and wandered off.

After Malfoy's performance which included some rather unfortunate dance moves inspired by a pussy cat which one could not unsee, all of the drunk women in the audience went crazy. Several threw their knickers at him which he skillfully dodged. Probably because he didn't want to catch some Muggle disease and have his dick fall off. Hermione patted herself on the back for being so clever.

When Malfoy finally made his way back to her, she found herself a little tongue tied. He was now wearing his suit jacket sans shirt and looked incredibly sexy, one might even say too sexy, but she wasn't going there. By the expression on his face, she didn't think he would appreciate that type of comment, true or not. Besides, she had not quite come to terms with how she felt about his performance. Still she had to try.

"That was, um..."

"Too sexy?" Goyle suggested, unable to hold in his grin.

"That's it! I've had enough of your shit." Before Hermione or anyone else could stop him, Malfoy charged up to Goyle and punched him right in the face.

Goyle didn't look like the punch hurt him too badly, but he was definitely no longer looking amused. "You want to go, Malfoy?"

"Yes, I do," Malfoy replied, barely holding his temper in check. "Why don't we take it outside?"

"Gladly," replied Goyle, standing up and cracking his knuckles. "I've been wanting to kick your ass for a while now."

"Is this really necessary?" asked Hermione nervously, standing up to between them, hoping to prevent any violence before it occurred.

"Yes!" they both shouted over her.

"Malfoy, please don't do this. I really don't think it's a good idea," Hermione warned.

"Why?" Malfoy snapped. "Isn't this what you wanted? To have us both fighting over you?"

"No!" she exclaimed defensively. "I mean, I just wanted you both to sing to me, maybe have a rap battle," she muttered under her breath, "but I definitely didn't want Goyle to kill you!"

"What? You don't think I can take him?" Malfoy asked angrily.


Malfoy scowled at her.

"Is it so horrible that I don't want you to die?" she hissed.

"Yes, it is," Goyle retorted.

"Can't you just let this go?" Hermione pleaded with Goyle.

"No, I really can't," Goyle answered truthfully, still under the effects of Veritaserum.

Hermione turned back to Malfoy. "At least take Fred and George with you."

"No. This is between me and Goyle. It's time we finally settled it once and for all. I'll be outside," Malfoy said to Goyle, not even giving Hermione one last glance before he headed for the door.

Goyle went to follow him, but Hermione grabbed his hand. "Please don't kill him," she begged. "I kind of have to marry him. He's no good to any of us dead."

"Fine," Goyle agreed reluctantly, trying to walk away.

But Hermione grabbed his hand again. "And no blood," she pleaded. "I'm planning on wearing white." She heard the snorts from the rest of the table and scowled at them.

"Anything else?" asked Goyle, sounding annoyed.

"Maybe don't do any permanent damage," Hermione hedged, her eyes drifting down to his crotch.

Goyle glared at her and throwing off her hand, headed out after Malfoy.

Hermione turned on the twins. "This is all your fault!"

"What did we do?" asked Fred indignantly."You're the one who had sex with Goyle."

"Three times," George expounded.

"And you're the one who invited Goyle here in the first place," Fred continued.

"On the eve of your wedding to Malfoy no less," George added reprovingly.

"You're the one they're fighting over," the twins concluded.

"Well, that may be," Hermione admitted somewhat guiltily. "But I know you two are responsible for whatever the hell happened on that stage. And I'm pretty sure that whatever you did is also responsible for Malfoy picking a fight with someone who is definitely not his size!"

"Oh, that," said Fred.

"Yes, that!" Hermione snapped.

"We just gave him some Cupid's Courage," said George.

"The extended version." Fred grinned.

"How extended?" asked Hermione warily.

"All night long," they said obnoxiously.

Hermione looked at them in shock and then burst into tears. "He's going to die!" she wailed.


"So, how does it feel, Malfoy?" asked Goyle mockingly when he met up with Malfoy outside. "Finally having courage? Maybe the Sorting Hat will put you in Gryffindor now."

"Maybe it will put you in there, too, since you're suddenly so bloody 'helpful' now," Malfoy spat.

"I don't want to be a Gryffindor," Goyle replied coolly. "I just want to shag one. There's a difference you know."

"Oh, so the reason you're being so 'helpful' is just to get in Granger's knickers." Malfoy accused.

Goyle shrugged. "I can't lie, Veritaserum and all. Getting in Granger's knickers again is one of the reasons I'm being so 'helpful' as you say. It's my favorite reason in fact, but it's not the only one. I never subscribed to the whole Pureblood agenda like you did. What do I care if Granger is a Muggleborn or not? She's still everything I desire in a witch and then some. Voldemort gaining power does nothing for me. I have no interest in spending the rest of my life being a servant to that crazy fuck like my father has. I want Potter to win. And if helping him win gets me the girl, even better."

"You are not getting the girl. She's mine," Malfoy growled possessively.

Goyle smirked. "She was mine first."

"Just because you've fucked her doesn't mean anything," Malfoy retorted angrily with a ruthless look in his eyes. "She doesn't love you back."

Goyle scowled and pointed his wand at Malfoy's throat. "I'm really starting to tire of you, Malfoy."

Malfoy's eyes widened and he backed up cautiously. "I came out here to fight you not duel."

"Do you take me for an idiot? Of course you do." Goyle answered himself, laughing harshly. "But I'm not an idiot. I know you don't have a wand."

"And yet you would still duel me?" said Malfoy, narrowing his eyes.

Goyle shrugged. "Weasley rules." He then let a spell fly, knocking Malfoy on his ass.

Malfoy scowled. "No magic was Granger's rule. She's not going to be too happy when she finds out about this."

"Granger breaks the rules all of the time," Goyle said dismissively. "Despite your playing house with her, you really don't know her very well, do you?" He sent a Stinging Hex toward Malfoy, who tried to jump out of the way, but still ended up getting hit in the thigh. "Besides," Goyle continued. "Do you really think you would fair any better in a fist fight with me?"

"I think I'd have a shot," Malfoy growled.

"Please," Goyle scoffed. "I would just beat you to a bloody pulp, and then Granger would get mad about you getting blood all over her white wedding dress." He hurled another Stinging Hex over to Malfoy.

"Would you quit aiming there!" Malfoy snapped, dodging the spell aimed for his private parts.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to do any permanent damage, just enough to ruin your honeymoon." Sending yet another hex, Goyle finally hit his mark. Malfoy yelped and doubled over in pain.

Goyle was about to send over a hex to make sure he ruined the honeymoon, when Malfoy let out a yell like a banshee and rammed into him hard with his head. Surprised at Malfoy's attack, Goyle went stumbling backward. He managed to keep his footing, but he wasn't too happy that Malfoy was fighting back. He had expected him to give up already. Malfoy had never handled pain very well. Perhaps, he just needed a little more pain to remember that fact. He raised his wand to send a particularly nasty spell at Malfoy. However, before he could utter all of the necessary words, he was hit with a spell from behind. He turned and was stunned to see Granger. All he could do was stare at her stupidly because she had literally stunned him. And then everything went black because Malfoy fucking punched him.

"Was that really necessary?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, it was," said Malfoy, breathing heavily. "It was also very satisfying. Although I think I broke my hand." He flinched as he tried to straighten his fingers.

Hermione walked over to him and gently took his hand in hers. She performed the healing spell and then kissed his hand. "There, all better."

"He also hurt my–"

"Malfoy," Hermione warned.

"Well, he did," Malfoy muttered. "He was trying to ruin our honeymoon."

"I know," said Hermione, smirking a bit. "Why do you think I hit him with a Stunning Spell?"

"So, you're not going to have a headache on our honeymoon?" Malfoy asked hopefully.

"That I haven't decided yet, but I'd like to keep my options open."

"Fair enough," said Malfoy, not pressing the matter.

"Malfoy? Can I ask you something?"

He nodded warily.

"Why did you choose that song?"

Malfoy let out a sigh. "Because I saw how you looked when Goyle was singing to you, and I wanted you to look at me like that. And I'm highly competitive so I was determined to sing something even sexier."

"And you still went with that song?" Hermione said in disbelief.

Malfoy scowled. "Picking out a song to sing to you wasn't easy, you know. I was under a lot of pressure. And I'd never heard that song before. I had no idea it would turn out like that."

"Are you sure you'd never heard it before?" Hermione asked skeptically. "I know you listen to Muggle music, Malfoy."

"Yeah, but not crappy Muggle music. I wanted to seduce you, not make a joke of the whole thing. If I had heard that song before, trust me, I would have never chosen it. I do not enjoy making an ass out of myself."

"Well, I kind of enjoyed the ass part," she whispered sexily. "And the part where you took off your shirt." She let her hands roam over his bare chest.

"Then why did you look so disappointed?" Malfoy couldn't help asking.

She let her hands trail up his chest and then encircled her arms around his neck. "Because I wanted you to sing me a love song."

"Oh, he said, and when she stood up on her tiptoes and started kissing his neck, he said, "Ohhhh."

"You could sing one to me now," she said between kisses. She felt Malfoy stiffen and instantly regretted saying it. "Never mind. You don't have to."

"No, I want to," he said quickly. "It's just... I can't sing like Goyle can."

"I don't want you to sing like Goyle. And I don't want you to sing like how the twins think you should sing either. I just want... you."

Malfoy's heart was hammering in his chest. If he thought he was under pressure before to pick out the right song that was nothing compared to this. He couldn't screw this up now. Not with how she was looking up at him like that with those big brown eyes practically begging him to sing something romantic and sweep her off her feet. If he wasn't still under the effects of Cupid's Courage, he would be paralyzed with fear. However, he was still under the effects and no matter if it killed him, he was going to sing to her. He was not going to throw away this opportunity. The problem was, he could only think of one song at the moment that was even close to expressing his feelings for Granger. Fuck Michael Bolton and his cheesy, soul-crushing lyrics.

Wrapping his arms around her, he began swaying her to the music playing in his head. He pushed her head down against his chest, so he didn't have to see her reaction to the song he was about to sing her. He was going to put his own spin on the song to make it a little more palatable, but it was still cheesy as hell. He hated Michael fucking Bolton. Taking a deep breath, he threw all caution to the wind and sang.

When a man lurfs a woman

He felt her giggle against him, but she also snuggled in closer, so he continued.

Can't keep his mind on nothin' else

He'd trade his whole world

For a good thing he's found

If she is bad, he can't see it

His father was so wrong

Turn his back on his best friend

Punch him in the face


When a man lurfs a woman

Spend all of his time

Trying to get her to notice him

He'd give up all his comforts

And sleep at Grimmauld Place

If she said that's the way

It ought to be


When a man lurfs a woman

I give you everything I've got (yeah)

Trying to earn

Your precious lurf

Baby please don't choose my ex-friend


When a man lurfs a woman

Deep down in his soul

She can bring him such ecstasy

If she is playing him for a fool

He doesn't want to know

Lurfing eyes can never see


Yes when a man lurfs a woman

I know exactly how he feels

'Cause baby, baby, baby,

I am a man

When a man lurfs a woman

"Oh, Malfoy," Hermione moaned, pulling his head down to kiss him.

As she pressed her body into his and deepened the kiss in the most delicious way, he couldn't help thinking, "Michael Bolton is a fucking genius."

They were still slow dancing and kissing when Malfoy felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He decided to ignore it.

"May I cut in?" a voice persisted.

Malfoy growled because he already felt Hermione pulling away. Why did Goyle have to keep fucking things up for him? "No," he finally replied. "Do I have to punch you in the face again?"

"You only got that punch in because of her," Goyle said, glaring at Hermione. "And she attacked me from behind."

Hermione shrugged. "Weasley rules."

Goyle rolled his eyes and turned back to Malfoy. "So tell me, Malfoy, how does it feel to get your ass saved by a girl?"

Malfoy smirked at him. "I expect a hell of a lot better than getting my ass kicked because of a girl."

Goyle scowled.

"Malfoy, can you go inside?" Hermione asked. "I need to talk to Goyle alone for a minute."

Malfoy hesitated, but then said, "Fine, but only because I know you can kick his ass if he tries anything." Before either of them could reply, he kissed Hermione on the mouth, leaving her breathless. Then with a final glare at Goyle, he stomped back inside.

Hermione looked after him a little dazed.

"I don't know what you see in him," Goyle grumbled.

Hermione looked at him with sad eyes. "I like you, Goyle. I like you a lot."

"But you lurf Malfoy?" Goyle said, unable to hold in the sarcasm.

Hermione sighed. "I really can't explain it. You're the nicer guy. You're definitely the better singer. I have fun with you. I like the way you make me feel when we're together. You have no idea how incredibly sexy I think you are. You don't drive me completely crazy or make me so mad I can't see straight. And I think you're smarter than the both of us. It's just that there's something between Malfoy and I, and I really think I need to find out what it is."

Goyle took both her hands in his. "You know, I have another quality that you can add to your list. I'm patient. I can wait until you figure out that Malfoy's just some asshole who doesn't deserve you. I'll wait for you."

Hermione reached up and touched his face with her hand. "I guess Malfoy's down by five now," she joked. "You know, I have a feeling that I might just be some asshole who doesn't deserve you."

"I don't care," said Goyle, leaning in to kiss her.

She kissed him back but only for a moment before she gently pushed him away. "We should probably get back inside."

"Yeah," agreed Goyle. "We wouldn't want to miss Malfoy's temper tantrum."

Hermione followed Goyle's gaze and saw Malfoy, standing in the doorway glaring at them.

"Damn it, Goyle. Why do you have to keep fucking with him?"

"Because I can."

Hermione glared at him. "If he tries to hit you, I'm probably going to help him again."

"It was worth it." Goyle smirked.

When they got back to the table, Malfoy refused to look at them. He just sat in his chair with his arms crossed, pretending to be interested in the now empty stage.

"Oh, there you are," said Ginny, walking up to their table with two hot guys behind her. "Pretty sweet, huh?" she asked, nodding at her companions.

"Uh..." Hermione wasn't quite sure how to reply.

The man on the right leered at her. "Your friend here said you were getting married and were looking for a little fun before you got shackled down by the old ball and chain."

"And we're prepared to be that fun," said the man on the left, winking at her and then signaling Johnny to start the music. They immediately started gyrating to the music in a very lewd way. The man on the right lifted his t-shirt to give her a sneak peek of his rock hard abs. Then he pulled it off entirely and whipped it around his head before flinging it across the room. His friend on the left had also removed his shirt and was currently rubbing it between his legs in a sawing motion. Hermione had no idea where Ginny had found these guys, but they were fucking hot.

I believe in miracles

Where you from, you sexy thing?

Sexy thing, you

I believe in miracles

Since you came along, you sexy thing

The two men were in the process of unzipping their trousers in a very synchronized fashion when Malfoy and Goyle both stood up, and in their own synchronized move (Malfoy took the one on the right and Goyle took the one on the left) knocked the two men out cold. Not liking that they had shared a twinsy kind of moment, they both turned and glared at one another. Hermione let out a giggle.

Ginny didn't think it was quite as funny though. "The next time I throw you a hen party, we're leaving your husband-to-be and your lover at home," she pouted.

Hermione couldn't help giggling again. After all, she'd had an awful lot to drink tonight.

Malfoy glared at her, but Hermione noticed Goyle's eyes were elsewhere. She followed his gaze and saw a woman in a tight black dress walking up on stage. It was the same raven-haired woman that had thrown her knickers at Goyle. Hermione narrowed her eyes at her. She was very tall and curvy with red full lips and smoky eyes. She was sexy in a strong, Amazon warrior kind of way. She threw Hermione an intimidating look and then started singing... to Goyle.

That old dog has chained you up alright

Give you everything you need

To live inside a twisted cage

Sleep beside an empty rage

I had a dream I was your hero

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "Did she just call me a dog?"

"An old dog," said Ron, laughing.

Hermione scowled and then scowled even harder when she noticed Goyle's smirk.

Damn I wish I was your lover

That forward fucking bitch. She obviously knew there was something going on between her and Goyle. That she was singing this song to Goyle anyway was a total bitch move.

I'd rock you till the daylight comes

Make sure you are smiling and warm

I am everything

Tonight I'll be your mother

I'll do such things to ease your pain

Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed



While Hermione was glaring Avadas at her, she noticed the woman give her a sly glance when she sang the word 'ashamed' as though Goyle should be ashamed of being with her. It made her feel dirty and reminded her of how the Slytherins always made her feel when they looked down on her because of her blood status. And then it clicked. She had experienced this woman's intimidation techniques before. Only the last time, it had been when the woman had had her in a headlock. "Is that... Millicent Bulstrode?"

"Yep," replied Goyle, still enjoying the performance.

"No fucking way!" exclaimed Ron. "She's hot!"

"She's not that hot," grumbled Hermione.

"Hot enough," said Malfoy, smirking at her. "You got that lip gloss on you?"

Hermione scowled at him.

"What are we going to do?" said Harry, sounding slightly panicked. "She's seen us together. She'll talk. She's going to ruin all of our plans."

"She won't talk," said Goyle.

"You're damn right she won't talk," Hermione declared. "Because I am going to Obliviate her."

"You're not going to Obliviate her," Goyle ordered. "I said she won't talk. I took care of it already."

"Is that what you were doing when you were whispering in her ear earlier. Taking care of it?" Hermione asked jealously.


"How did you take care of it?" Hermione asked, knowing full well he had to answer her because of the Veritaserum.

Goyle glared at her. "I performed Legilimency on her. I know she's not planning on telling. She hates Voldemort."

Hermione's eyes went wide. "I knew it! You were using Legilimency on me that night at the Three Broomsticks," she accused. "I hope you liked that image I showed you."

"You mean, Weasley naked? No, I did not enjoy that, but I thought it was cute that you did it to test me. Besides that image didn't last very long, did it?"

Hermione turned red from anger and embarrassment. She couldn't remember exactly what she had been thinking about Goyle that night, but it was probably pretty naughty because she definitely remembered what it had led to.

"That was an invasion of privacy," she hissed. "How dare you violate my mind like that!"

Goyle shrugged. "I did what I felt was necessary under the circumstances. Your motives for meeting with me weren't exactly pure, you know."

"And yours were?" Hermione huffed.

Goyle laughed. "No. Mine were definitely not pure. As you well know."

Hermione angrily sat back in her chair and refused to look at Goyle.

"You pictured me naked?" Ron said after a while, sounding a bit full of himself.

Hermione decided to ignore him and turned her attention back to Millicent. Yep, she was still there slutting it up on the stage.

Open up, I wanna gonna come inside

I wanna fill you up, I wanna make you cry

Damn I wish I was you lover

It really shouldn't bother her so much. After all, she had pretty much just told Goyle she had wanted to see where things went with Malfoy. She really shouldn't expect him to wait for her, but he had said he would. And now, not even ten minutes later, he was turning his attention to Millicent Bulstrode who was practically fucking him with her eyes.

"Do you still have her knickers?" Hermione blurted.

"Yes," replied Goyle. "Do you care?" Not expecting an answer, he turned his attention back to Millicent.

Hermione sat through the rest of the song silently fuming. After Millicent's slutty performance was over, she dropped by their table much to Hermione's annoyance.

"Hey again, Greg," said Millicent, sending him a dazzling smile. "Malfoy," she greeted with much less enthusiasm. "Gryffindors," she acknowledged with even less enthusiasm.

"Hey, Millie. Glad you came by," Goyle replied in a friendly manner. Everyone else just stared at her. "They've all been a bit curious about you since they saw you on stage. That was some performance you gave."

"Uh, yeah," said Millicent, blushing a bit. "I kind of thought I could sing without being recognized by them, but from all the arguing going on over here during my performance, I figured know-it-all Granger must have figured it out."

Hermione glared at her.

"Anyway, I'm sure Greg told you, but I'm not going to tell anyone I saw you here. I hope you win. I'm no friend of the Dark Lord."

"And why exactly would we believe you?" Hermione asked coldly "When you share so many of the same beliefs as Voldemort."

Millicent flinched at the sound of Voldemort's name. "I don't care if you believe me or not, but I'm a half-blood. My mother just got remarried to a Muggle this summer and my new step sister is my best friend. I like Muggle things – sports, movies, fashion, music and even frigging Karaoke. I am finally happy with my life, and I'm not interested in seeing it all destroyed at the whim of a mad man."

"So, your attitude toward me over the years had nothing to do with me being a Mudblood?" Hermione spat.

"Look, Granger. I'm sorry if I was mean to you. I had a lot going on, and I was in a bad place. I probably shouldn't have put you in a headlock all of those times when we got paired up, but I didn't do it because you were a Muggleborn. I did it because you were an annoying bitch."

Malfoy snorted.

"Shut up, Malfoy" Hermione snapped.

Malfoy only smirked at her and then turned his attention back to Millicent. "So, what did you do to yourself, Bulstrode? You look hot now."

Millicent scowled at him. She obviously didn't like Malfoy very much. "Not that it's any of your business, Malfoy, but I've been playing a lot of Muggle sports, and my step sister is kind of into makeovers," she mumbled, sounding uncomfortable about the whole thing.

"You know, Granger and I had a little bet going on, and we're both very curious about something. Care to enlighten us, Bulstrode?" Malfoy smirked at Hermione, and she scowled back.

"What is it you're curious about?" asked Millicent warily, not liking the way Malfoy was stalking toward her.

"This," said Malfoy huskily, pressing his lips to hers and kissing her. When he was finished, he licked his lips and sent a wicked smile over to Hermione. "Pineapple."

When he turned his attention back to Millicent, she punched him in the face.

"Nice right hook," Goyle observed in amusement.

Millicent grinned at him. "If he ever tries anything like that again, he'll find out my left isn't bad either."

Goyle laughed.

Hermione studied the two Slytherins closely. Was she flirting with Goyle? And was he enjoying it?

"I liked your song, Greg. You're really talented," Millicent gushed, smiling at him through lowered lashes.

She was flirting with him! "He was singing that song to me," Hermione blurted, sounding more jealous than she had intended.

Millicent's perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose just a little bit before saying, "And who were you singing your song to?"

Hermione's mouth dropped open, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of anything to say to that.

Millicent turned her attention back to Goyle. "I'm kind of a regular at this bar. Maybe I'll see you around, Greg," she said sexily, sauntering off.

Goyle watched Millicent's hips sway as she walked off until he felt someone staring at him. He looked over to see Hermione scowling at him and couldn't help smirking back at her.

Before Hermione could deal with her feelings on this particular development, Malfoy started coming to. He was moaning like a big baby and writhing on the floor. Rolling her eyes, Hermione dropped to her knees beside him. Despite everything she knew about him and the swollen eye that he had definitely deserved, he looked so sweet and innocent lying there on the floor. She gently brushed the hair out of his face. Malfoy had such soft, pretty hair. As she continued to stroke his hair, he let out a sigh.

Looking up at her with a dreamy smile on his face, he asked, "Are you an angel?"

"No," Hermione replied much to her own chagrin.

"You are to me," Malfoy whispered softly, reaching out and wrapping one of her curls around his finger. "Will you marry me?"

A/N: Malfoy sang "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred and also a mangled version of "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Michael Bolton. The two strippers sang "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate. And Millicent sang "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins.