Goodbye, Goyle

"Uh... Are you feeling okay?" Hermione asked Malfoy, thinking Millicent must have hit him harder than she thought. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Malfoy grabbed a hold of her hand and put down one of her three fingers. "Two," he said. "Can it finally just be fucking two? You and me. No more love triangles, squares or octagons. Let's ditch Goyle and go get hitched. What do you say?"

Hermione looked at him in shock. She couldn't believe he was seriously asking her to marry him. However, before she could give her answer, his head lolled back, and he passed out again. She didn't know if the reason he'd asked her to marry him was because he was drunk or hopped up on Cupid's Courage or because Millicent had knocked him senseless, but she knew what her answer was. Standing up, she waved over the waitress and said, "Check please!"

"What are you doing?" asked Ron after she handed over her credit card. "Harry and I were just going to try Sex on the Beach." When everyone looked at him funny, he clarified, "The drink! I meant the bloody drink!"

"Well, you two can 'experiment' some other time," Hermione replied sarcastically. "We're leaving. Fred, George, can you help Malfoy?"

"Are we going to a club now?" asked Ron hopefully.

"No," Hermione said, leaving no room for argument. "Malfoy and I are getting married. As soon as we get back."

"Can Harry at least sing me a love song before we go?" Ginny pleaded.

"No," Hermione said again. "We've already wasted enough time as it is."

"Hermione's right," said Harry quickly, not wanting to sing a love song. "We should go."

"That's not fair," Ginny pouted. "Hermione got a whole bunch of love songs sang to her."

Ron snorted. "I wouldn't exactly call them love songs. Goyle's song was just about sex, and Malfoy's song was pretty much about himself. The strippers' song was probably the most romantic out of the lot of them."

"Malfoy sang her a lurf song outside. Does that count?" Goyle asked sarcastically.

No one replied, but it was obvious from their expressions that it totally did count. Goyle scowled in response.

"Where is that bloody waitress with my credit card?" Hermione muttered impatiently.

"In a rush to marry Malfoy, are we?" Goyle asked rather snidely.

"Well," said Hermione, looking uncomfortable, "the sooner Malfoy and I get married, the sooner we can defeat Voldemort." There, that sounded very noble.

"Right," said Goyle, looking as though he didn't believe her. "And it has nothing to do with the honeymoon?"

Hermione didn't answer or look him in the eye. And the loud silence that followed made everyone uncomfortable.

"Wow, look at the time," said Ron, standing up.

"So late," said Ginny, letting out a big yawn.

"We should, er, go," said Harry, walking quickly to the door with Ron and Ginny right behind him.

"It's been fun," said Fred, standing up as well. "See you around Goyle. You've been a worthy opponent."

"Yeah," agreed George. "If we weren't honor bound to this git on the floor here, we probably would have been team Goyle."

"We'll wait for you outside, Hermione," said Fred.

"Take your time," George added with a wink.

Fred and George each took one of Malfoy's arms and dragged him out of the bar. Now it was just her and Goyle. She still couldn't look at him. It was so fucking awkward.

Goyle finally sighed. "It's fine. I told you I'd wait. Have your fucking honeymoon. Go get Malfoy out of your system."

"What!" Hermione exclaimed, her head snapping up in surprise.

Goyle glared at her. "You heard me. Go have sex with him. I'm getting so tired of the whole, 'Will they, or won't they?' thing. Just do it and get it over with already."

"Don't you even care?" Hermione couldn't help asking.

"Of course, I care," said Goyle a bit angrily. "It just seems it's the only way for any of us to move on. And I want to move on."

"Do you want to move on with Millicent?" she asked, her words laced with jealously.

"Millie and I are just friends," Goyle replied calmly, but then he couldn't help smirking at her just to see her reaction. "Although I have to admit, when she punched Malfoy in the face, it did kind of turn me on."

Hermione glared at him.

Goyle smirked even more. "I kind of like it when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. I just don't like her is all," said Hermione, pouting a bit.

Goyle rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual."

"Probably because I'm a Mudblood," Hermione muttered.

"She's not like that," said Goyle, feeling the need to defend his housemate. "You don't know her like I do."

"And exactly how well do you know her?" Hermione asked pointedly. Her voice was practically dripping with jealousy now.

"I haven't slept with her if that's what you're asking. But Millicent and I have a lot in common. I know what it's like to always have people look down on you, to constantly think you're not good enough."

"I know what that's like, too," Hermione insisted.

"Do you?" Goyle asked, looking skeptical.

"I know what people say about me," Hermione bristled. "I know a lot of them don't like me very much."

"That may be true, but at least they respect you," Goyle said. "And that's a lot more than some of us ever get. You think she doesn't know why you and Malfoy made that stupid bet?"

Hermione couldn't help feeling guilty. No matter how mean the girl had been to her in the past, involving Millicent in their bet had been mean-spirited, and she was better than that. She sighed. "You're right. It wasn't a very nice thing to do."

"No, it wasn't," Goyle agreed. "No one deserves to have Malfoy sicced on them, but Millie can take care of herself. Besides, I think she enjoyed hitting Malfoy."

Hermione couldn't help smiling. "Probably. I know I enjoyed hitting him third year."

"That's when I first started liking you," Goyle admitted with a grin.

"You started liking me because I punched your friend in the face?" Hermione asked incredulously.

Goyle laughed. "Perhaps you haven't noticed, but Malfoy is kind of an asshole."

"Oh, trust me, I've noticed," Hermione replied dryly.

"It wasn't easy being friends with him," Goyle continued. "He never cared about anyone but himself. Whatever he wanted, he got, and it didn't matter who he stepped on to get it. None of us ever stopped him or even tried to stand in his way. And I could have. He's nothing but a wuss after all. But for some reason, I never did. And then seeing this little girl with that big bushy hair stand up to him the way you did, the way I wished I had, left quite the impression on me. Of course, it left quite an impression on Malfoy as well. He couldn't stop thinking about you after that. And I couldn't stop listening his thoughts."

"You could do Legilimency third year?" Hermione asked in shock.

"It kind of comes naturally to me," said Goyle, sounding embarrassed. "It's the one thing I'm really good at."

"It's not the only thing you're really good at," Hermione mumbled. When she realized she said that out loud, she blushed.

Goyle smirked. "Malfoy's weren't the only dirty thoughts in my head. I've had plenty of my own fantasies about you."

"So, was it all just about sex to you?" Hermione asked quietly.

"No," Goyle said adamantly. "The more I watched you over the years, the more I liked you. I liked the way you always helped everyone, even when they didn't want you to. Especially the house-elves. Those poor fucking house-elves never stood a chance against you. And I liked the way you always stood up for your friends and even risked your life to help them. I've never had anyone do anything like that for me. I also liked the way you'd scrunch up your nose at broccoli when they served it at dinner and how you always smelled like vanilla. I was always trying to get close to you just to breathe you in. And I really liked the way you never talked down to me even though you could have."

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "You've been... watching me? Since third year? That's... kind of creepy and stalkerish."

Goyle shrugged. "Maybe, but I couldn't help myself. I was smitten with you. And then that day in potions happened. It had come down to you getting paired with either me or Finnigan, and you sighed in relief when it turned out it was me. That was the day I fell in love with you."

Hermione remembered that day. She had been relieved. Seamus was always blowing stuff up. And Goyle was always so quiet and followed her orders without ever questioning her. Now that she thought about it, Goyle was the most pleasant partner she had ever had. "If you really felt that way about me, why didn't you ever say something? Or do something?"

Goyle shrugged again. "I'm a Slytherin. We lie in wait like a snake. And then when an opportunity presents itself, we strike."

Hermione bit her lip. "So, what made you decide to finally make a move?"

"I didn't make a move. You did."


"You threw the game."

"I... I..." She was about to deny it, but it was true. She had thrown the game. But only because he had been acting so sexy and mysterious all night. The way he was undressing her and how he had taken Crabbe out of the game just so he could have her all too himself. And then he had admitted that Amortentia smelled like her to him. That was what had completely undone her. How could she not be turned on after finding out something like that? "Okay, I totally did let you win," Hermione admitted. "But you seduced me!"

"Because you wanted me to."

Damn Legilimency! She had wanted Goyle that night. She had never wanted anyone more in her life except maybe Malfoy. Fuck! Her love life was so screwed up. She still liked Goyle more than she should, especially with how she was feeling about Malfoy. She couldn't help herself though. He was just so damn likable. And fuckable. She looked at him curiously. "So, you're saying if I hadn't made the first move, nothing would have ever happened between us?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, my brave Gryffindor. Do you regret it?" he asked softly.

Hermione looked at Goyle and sighed. "I regret a lot of things in my life, but I don't regret anything about that night. Except maybe not doing the Silencio earlier."

Goyle laughed. "I kind of regret that as well."

Turning serious, Hermione grabbed his hand. "I just want you to know, that whatever happens, I will never regret you."

"I won't regret you either," Goyle whispered. "Even if you do choose Malfoy."

Hermione smiled at him sadly. "If it never works out between us. I hope you don't wait so long with the next girl. I want you to promise me that you will find your courage. Even if it is with Millicent Bulstrode. She would be lucky to have you."

Goyle looked down at their entwined fingers and sighed. "I suppose if we're going to be honest and selfless, I should let you know that Malfoy doesn't just care about himself anymore. He cares about you. A lot. I never thought I'd see the day when he loved someone more than himself."

"You think he loves me?" Hermione couldn't keep the hope out of her voice.

"I know he loves you. And I didn't even have to read his thoughts to know that. He sang you a fucking Michael Bolton song."

"I don't know," said Hermione, not quite believing it. "I mean, he's never actually said the word."

"Malfoy's a coward. It seems we have that in common," Goyle said morosely.

The waitress dropped off her credit card, and Hermione reluctantly let go of Goyle's hand. "I guess I'll be going then," she said awkwardly. "You want to walk out with me?"

Goyle shook his head. "I think I'll stay a while. Maybe sing a sad song."

"Maybe you should sing a song to her," Hermione suggested, nodding her head over at Millicent who was back at her table, sneaking looks at the two of them. She still wasn't the biggest fan of Millicent, but Goyle had given her permission to have sex with Malfoy. The least she could do was return the favor. Because she was definitely having sex with Malfoy. She leaned down and kissed Goyle on the cheek. "Goodbye, Goyle."

A/N: So, did you shed a tear like I did, or were you jumping up and down with excitement over Hermione's goodbye to Goyle? Perhaps, you're just indifferent about the whole thing. Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens, won't we?