A/N: Hi! This is a Twilight oneshot about Rosalie. I hope you like it!
That was the question I'd asked myself ever since I was old enough to understand the word.
I know I'm beautiful. I know I have everything.
But I want more.
Because I'm a shallow, insecure little girl who no one will ever love. Only abuse and tear the heart out of. Like Royce. He tore out my heart and ate it for breakfast. Him and his asshole friends. They will rot in hell. I will see to it.
I had been a vampire for about three years now. I absolutely despised it. I hated how my body had more control over my actions: my teeth wanting to rip human flesh and drink the blood flowing through their veins. It disgusted me.
I hated myself now more than ever.
All my life, I'd only wanted someone to love and for them to love me back. I thought that had happened when I'd met Royce. Sweet, loyal, good family. Everything a beautiful girl should be entitled to.
Instead I got what I deserved.
A shallow, self-absorbed brat gets an abusive fiancé who is an alcoholic and to top it off, everything I should be.
I thought about my vanity. I always thought that I was beautiful. But either I was just pretending to be someone else or beauty was cursed. But I hadn't always had this unfortunate life. So I'd been imagining my beauty all along.
Stupid, insolate girl.
I wandered around the woods in the Appalachia Mountains for my next meal. The thought ran across my mind as quick as a bolt of lightning. Maybe I should punish myself for being so oblivious to what was going on. I'll starve myself. Yes, I realize this wasn't going to kill me, but it'll feel good to finally right myself again. Balance my sins with their consequences.
Why? Why did I turn out like this?
I had always been a good girl. I had friends with beautiful children. I had parents who were impressed by me. Everyone adored me.
Ah. That's why.
I had been jealous all my life. Jealous of other people, of their looks, of their lies, of their love. I hated them all for it and now I was paying.
When Carlisle told me I wouldn't be able to bear children, if felt like my life, figuratively speaking, of course, was crashing in on me. I had no dreams anymore. I couldn't have children, and surely no one would ever love me.
Even as I was paying for my jealousy, I couldn't stop it. Loathing and grief emitted from me in waves. I hated Vera, my closest friend, right now. But I was happy for her. Thinking about Vera made me think of her husband. The way he loved her profoundly shook my world. How could anything that sweet exist in a world with all of the monsters in it, both figuratively and literally? And Henry? How could a little boy so normal be so blessed?
Because of love. Because his parents loved him. And he loves them back.
The little boy had what I wanted for my entire life, and after, without even knowing how great his gift was. Shame. But for now, I was stuck in my own sorrows for the rest of my existence.
Being eternal was like my own personal death wish. How ironic.
Ten minutes later, I heard the screams of a young man. Maybe I could be good after all.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed my little insight into the mind of Rosalie Hale! I love her as a character and I want more people to see her as I see her. Tell me whatcha think please! R&R!