188A/N: Finally, the chapter you've all been waiting for! Though it is not the last, it hopefully starts wrapping things up. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! I know I sound like a broken record, but you guys are amazing!
Disclaimer: I don't think Riley or Ben would WANT to be owned by me, since I spend my stories torturing them. So it's probably a good thing I don't *grins*
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ben
The sun had come up outside, and a little natural light was struggling through the window. With a yawn and a stretch, I stood up for the first time in a few hours to go look out over the parking lot. It was amazing how uncomfortable the chairs were. Riley would probably say it was on purpose, so that no one ever overstayed their visiting hours. He'd probably be right. Except for that I was still here.
When one of the nurses had suggested that I come back during proper visiting hours, I'd told her on no uncertain terms that I wasn't leaving. She might have argued, except that she saw the effect that her words had on Riley. I didn't even want to think about that.
Rubbing my eyes, I hoped Abigail would be back soon. She'd gone to get a few things from the house and hopefully to find us some breakfast that had a little more flavor than hospital food. And maybe coffee. That would be good, if I was expected to function at all during the daylight hours.
With a sigh, I returned to my chair beside Riley's bed. I'd been watching him sleep for a few hours, relieved that he had finally relaxed enough to get some rest. When they'd been putting the IVs in, he'd been almost catatonic, staring up at the ceiling and not responding to anything I'd said. That was one of the most frightening parts of this whole ordeal, almost worse than the panic. He'd finally fallen asleep sometime around five am, and hadn't woken since.
The meds in the drip were obviously doing their job. I could see how much better he looked today; there was more color in his face, and his fever was gone. Now that that was out of the way, all I had to worry about was Riley's mental state. Only thing was, that was about ninety percent of the problem.
Suddenly, Riley's eyes scrunched up and he groaned. He would have rolled over and accidentally yanked the needles out of his arm if I hadn't grabbed his shoulder. Slowly, his blue eyes opened. They were clearer than they had been in a while. "Ben?" he said.
"Hey, kid," I replied, trying to goad him into his typical reaction. I smiled when it worked.
"I'm not a kid," he complained. "Where are my glasses?"
"I've got them," I said, handing them over. "So," I continued, after he'd settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose, "how do you feel?"
"Awful. This is like the starchiest set of sheets I've ever touched. I think I might break them if I move."
"That's not exactly what I meant," I told him, but I smiled, glad that he was joking again.
Riley coughed, and I could still hear the congestion in his chest. But there was no pain on his face. "Better," he said, almost like he was surprised.
"Good."
Riley sighed. "Just say it, Ben."
"Say what?" I asked.
"'I told you so.'" Riley's voice was matter-of-fact.
I grinned. "Why should I say that?"
"Because you were right."
I blinked. "Huh. Actually, hearing you say that was all the satisfaction I need."
"Crap. I must really be out of it, to let you win that easily." Riley smiled, but it was too forced to be real. I could see the thinly veiled fear in his eyes. And the pain he was trying so hard to hide. I think he knew what was coming.
I finally asked him the question.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
Riley
"So. You want to talk about it?"
The abrupt change in the conversation didn't stagger me. It was just Ben's nature: getting straight to the point. Still, I was pretty much dead set on the fact that I didn't want to explain anything, especially my panic attack earlier.
"About being trapped in this lousy hospital, or about me freaking out?" I asked, but I knew which one it was. I guess I had known since I saw the expression on Ben's face the night of the Cibola exhibit's opening that this was coming.
"The 'freaking out'," Ben qualified.
"Then no, I really don't want to talk," I answered honestly.
"Riley, something's bothering you. Don't think I haven't noticed how much you hate hospitals. And I'm not just talking about this time, in case you're wondering. You've been like this ever since I've known you."
I swallowed hard. "Ben, I—well, I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"
Ben's determined expression softened a little. "Riley, you're my best friend. Actually, you're more like my brother. I just want to know what's going on with you."
The tears jabbed at my eyeballs with renewed intensity. You have so chosen the wrong time to go sentimental on me, Ben. I was already close to losing it. "It's really not that complicated," I choked out, "but I don't know if I can talk about it."
"Will you try?"
The expression on Ben's face was so concerned that I couldn't just ignore him. "Yeah, but . . . yeah." I closed my eyes for a second, trying to decide how to start.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
Ben
"Do you know anything about my parents, Ben?" Riley hadn't opened his eyes; his face was screwed up like he was in pain.
"No," I said, my tone gentle. I wondered where this was going.
"My dad, he was . . . sometimes he would . . . get really mad." Riley opened his eyes for a second, and quickly, almost defensively, said, "I mean, he never, ever touched my mom or my sister or me, but he would break stuff, and once he even chucked our T.V. out the second-story window."
I took all this in without a word, even though a hundred different emotions and questions were building up in my mind. Riley needed to talk about this.
"My mom was scared that sometime he might, you know . . . so, one night, when I was eleven, and he came home drunk, my mom just grabbed Jenna and me and stuck us in the car. And we got on the highway."
Riley stopped, and I could see the tears pooling under his eyelids. I rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he took a deep, rattling breath. "So, my mom wasn't really being all that observant, because she was so upset. I remember she was crying . . ."
There was another lengthy pause, but I knew that Riley needed to get all of this out at once, or he never would. Finally, he continued, "So this car going in the opposite direction swerved out of its lane a little and into ours, and . . . we crashed. Our car was totally crushed, and somehow I got on the floor, trapped under the passenger seat. It was dark, and really small, and . . . and I could hear my little sister . . . she was screaming, Ben, and I couldn't help her . . ."
I felt sick, but I had to let the kid finish.
"I think I passed out or something, but I sort of remember getting pulled out of the car and getting loaded up in the ambulance." Riley shivered a little, and skipped ahead. "When I woke up again, I was in the hospital. At first it was like I was only partway there, you know? Everyone was really careful about what they said to me. And then when I was about to go crazy not knowing, a doctor told me that my mom and sister were . . ."
Dead. The unspoken word hung in the air.
"My dad never even came to see me. I don't know where he is now, if he's even still . . ."
Riley didn't have to finish. I was already hugging him, being as careful as I could. "I'm sorry, Riley," I whispered. "I'm so sorry." I could feel the sobs shaking him, and just held him there for a long moment.
Finally, he gained control of himself and pulled away, wiping at his swollen, blue eyes. "Sorry, Ben."
Sorry? "Riley, don't apologize. You don't have to. You never have to. You're my best friend, and I want to know what's going on with you. No matter what it is."
Riley nodded. "Thanks, Ben. You're—you're awesome."
I smiled a little.
"I guess this explains a lot about me," he said, staring at the ceiling. "Like why I hate hospitals. Like why I can't stand crowds or all those tunnels you drag me around in. Like—"
"Like why you leave your lights on at night?" I suggested, trying to make my tone teasing.
"Yeah. I'm just like a little kid, scared of the dark. I should just give in and buy a nightlight." Riley gave me that quirky little half-smile, so I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.
"You know, Abigail put a nightlight in our bathroom. And she always leaves the door cracked, so that it's not totally dark in our room."
"No way. Abigail is scared of the dark?" Riley grinned deviously.
"Hey, you didn't hear that from me," I said seriously. I had the feeling that Abigail wouldn't react well if she found out I'd told Riley about the nightlight. But I felt that the benefits outweighed the risks here. Riley was distracted, and I could survive another lecture from Abigail. Probably.
Riley looked at me, giving me the first genuine smile I'd seen from him in a long time. He knew what I was doing. "Thanks, Ben."
"No problem," I said. And I felt like it was true. There was nothing more to worry about right now, not yet. For a moment, everything was absolutely and totally—
"Awesome!" Riley exclaimed. "Look at this, Ben! This dump gets HBO!"
I smiled. Yep. Awesome.
A/N: So, good or bad? Please let me know! Only one more chapter to go!