It took me forever to finally come up with a good enough post. Here it is. I hope you like it if you've been waiting for this, and I hope you leave me your thoughts when you're done. It's been a really long time for me, so I hope you like these characters still. Thank you for clicking.
I woke up for the second time in Shane's apartment not knowing where I was. It wasn't the same kind of panic I felt the first time, but that was mostly because of the dream I'd had. This time, I just sort of laid there not sure of myself or my life. Or of Shane and me. The realization dawned on me when I thought of Shane, though. The blanket over me smelt like Shane, the pillow underneath me felt like heaven, and the uneasiness in my stomach felt like we needed to talk about everything.
I wasn't looking forward to that last part.
So I stretched my arms a little, adjusted myself so that my back was up and I was resting on my elbows. It was incredibly bright outside, not that I could really tell at first since Shane's blinds were closed tightly. I sat up and rubbed my eyelids. Yawned and thought about just leaving and avoiding Shane completely. I knew that wouldn't work though, considering our mental connection seemed to be anything but easy to figure out. Then I saw the piece of paper on the table. Grabbed it. Read it and fell back against Shane's couch with more uneasiness growing inside of me.
Mitchie, it read, I'm probably not up yet. It took me a while to really feel like I needed sleep. You've been asleep for about three hours now. Look, I get that this thing we've got, it sucks. And I wish I could do something about it, and I know that you wish I could do something about it, but I don't know how to fix it. And I wish I did. I really, really do. I don't know what I sound like writing this…I'm pretty wired actually and I probably don't make any sense. I just wanted to let you know – I just wanted you to wake up and know that you're not alone in this. I just wanted you to know that. – Shane
"What are you trying to do to me, Gray?" I asked myself as I let my eyelids close. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to disappear into my own personal abyss.
Okay, not really. I just wanted…answers.
I kept the note in my hands as I thought about what was happening to us. Not that I knew. I kept it in my hands as I opened my eyes, as I clenched my teeth in disgust over my actions. I kept it in my hands even as Shane walked out of his bedroom, clad in actual pajama bottoms and a plain white tee.
I didn't know what to say.
"Morning?" I tried.
He made no response other than a slight groan. "Hours this early shouldn't exist."
He sat down with me, next to me, and sighed. "So…I guess we should – "
"Shane," I started, cutting him off, "why am I here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why am I here? In your apartment, underneath your blanket. On your couch. With you. I don't know. Take your pick, I guess. Have at it, pop star." It was all coming out in choppy, frustrated sentences. "Why did you bring me here? What made you bring me here?"
He, like me, didn't know what to say. "I don't know, really. I just thought. I mean. Does it really matter?" he asked me in this sort of pitiful kind of way.
I turned it over in my head, because for the moment at least he wasn't there with me. And it made me feel better, but it also made me feel scared.
"No," I said suddenly. "I guess it doesn't."
He nodded. "All right then." We looked like a bizarre TV add or something, sitting there with our legs crossed. Staring forward like the dead zombies we were.
"So I guess we should talk then," I said.
"I am sorry. I know I said it already, but I am. I just don't know how to deal with this. And I took it out on the one person who actually understands what I'm going through." I smiled a little. "So stupid, I know."
He returned it. "Not really. I get it. I've given as good as I've got."
"Hey, now," he said with a little bit of a humorous side.
"In all seriousness."
"This really sucks, Shane."
"I thought we were being serious."
"Kind of being a downer today, aren't you Mitch?"
"In all seriousness?"
"This really sucks, Shane."
"Yeah, I know." He looked down to his hands, then to my hands where I was ringing his note into a thin crinkled line. He almost frowned before he said, "You know, I can't really remember the last time I had a good day."
"What?" I asked him incredulously.
"In all seriousness, Torres, I cannot remember when the last time I had a good day was. I've had good times, moments I guess. But days? Like a full twenty-four hours? Can't recall."
"I'm starting to feel like we're in one of those really awful eighties movies. You know we're not going to get high and become lovers over the span of a ten minute period, right?"
"I hope that wasn't a Breakfast Club reference."
I rolled my eyes, but playfully. "So, a good day, huh?"
"Well, Mr. Gray, I think we deserve to forget about the shit that's been messing with us."
He smiled and I can't say why but I felt something that wouldn't leave me alone. Something not like love and not like lust, but like…warmth. "Forget the serious talk. I just want a good day."
I put the note in my pocket and yawned. "Sounds like a plan to me."
"Can you promise me something?"
"If we can't figure this out and we're stuck like this forever, promise me that you won't hate me."
I frowned at his off-the-wall request. "Shane –
"Okay. But Shane?"
"We're not going to be stuck like this forever."
He didn't look at me for a minute or two. "How do you know?"
"I don't. But I have to believe that this happened for a reason and that we'll figure it out. Otherwise I'm going to have to kill you," I said casually.
And he laughed. And I laughed with him.
And I didn't wonder while we laughed why something so awful could happen to us and how I could be so oddly happy and comfortable. I didn't wonder it while I sat there with him, emotionally drained but okay.I didn't wonder at all. And I think that's why I was so happy. I didn't have to wonder. I could just be there with someone I didn't really like but who understood completely what was going on with me.
I sort of wish Shane was still in my head sometimes. Because even though it sucked beyond anything else, it was also sort of nice.
In an odd, horrifying sort of way.
Okay. So that wasn't comedic really, but I wanted to throw in a scene where Mitchie and Shane could really talk without any dramatic interventions. I hope you liked it, because this took me longer than I had hoped to write and it was only 1100 words. Disappointing, but better than anything else I'd come up with in the last seven months. Heh.
Now, if my magic review button says you've already reviewed this chapter and you still want to say something, anonymous reviews have been enabled so you can do that. Leave your real penname along with it and I'll get right back to ya.
Thanks for reading. I'm hoping to churn out another update soon-ish.