Author: Cola Zitron
Part: 1/1
Series/Fandom: South Park
Pairing: none
Disclaimer: South Park or anything related to it does not belong to me

Comment: Okay, so I wrote this as a part of a longer KennyxKyle story I planned to do and it was originally ment to show that Kyle and Stan are merely best friends and not gay for each other. That kinda backfired on me. So now it is a stand-alone one shot and while I still insist that this is NOT a StanxKyle story it has the definite undertone. Even I can't deny that. So if you want it to be - the Style is there.

The One Where Kyle and Stan are Not Gay


Kyle rushed down the school corridor towards Stan's locker, where he knew his friend would be, probably chatting up Wendy. And as he stepped around Leo and Phil, surely enough he saw Stan put away his books in the metal closet, his girlfriend hugging her books to her chest like anyone was planning to steal them from her.

"… and you see, that is why we absolutely HAVE to go see that movie, Wendy", Stan concluded whatever he had been saying, as Kyle came to a halt next to his friend. A little out of breath, but still very much enthusiastic he grabbed Stan's hand und tried to pull him in the direction of the exit.

"C'mon, Stan, we need to get there, before the others do!" he urged him on.

"What the hell? Get where, dude?" Stan asked, confused by his friend's behavior.

"I was having a conversation here, you know?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. Hi, Wendy", Kyle turned to the black-haired girl who wasn't at all surprised by the scene in front of her. Kyle would always show up at some point or other and drag Stan off to somewhere. It never bothered her as long as Stan still kept coming back to her of his free will, while Kyle had to literally drag him around, most of the time.

"So can we go now?" Kyle impatiently asked.

"Go where, dude?"

"No time, I'll explain on the way, okay? Bye, Wendy!"

Stan offered his girlfriend an apologetic smile and let himself be dragged away by Kyle. Wendy returned the smile and gave a little wave.

"I'll call you about that movie!" Stan shouted before he was dragged out of Wendy's sight.

"Geez, he always seems to be in such a rush", Bebe commented, stepping up next to Wendy.

"Well, yeah, I guess when you've got Kyle to keep you busy there's really no time to rest."

"You can say that again…" Bebe muttered, thinking back to the time Kyle and she had actually been going out. While it was fun, it soon exhausted them both too much. Though not energetic per say, they could both be quite intense when into something. And as into each other as they were, they had to break it up at some point in favor of their health.

"Damnit, Kyle, where are you dragging me?" Stan demanded to know, while he stumbled to follow the redhead and not have his arm ripped out in the process.

"The library", Kyle simply said, and shifted the grip he had around Stan's wrist slightly.

"The library? What's so great about a bunch of books?" Stan asked, rather perplexed.

"They show an exhibition of J.R.R. Tolkien's manuscripts this week! Leo told me all about it during lunch. He said his son might even be there and there's a lottery for one of the manuscripts!"

"Really? Then why are we going so slow, dude?!" Stan caught up to Kyle, wriggling his wrist out of his friends grasp and intertwined their fingers.

"Come on, Jew, race you there", he smirked and took off, this time Kyle being the one dragged behind. Seeing as they were holding each others hands, the concept of racing was a little ridiculous, but the boys had fun speeding through the streets anyway.

Only one Randy Marsh shook his head worriedly when he saw his son and his friend (boyfriend?) running through the streets of their little mountain town, holding hands of all things!

"Aw, crap!" Kyle huffed as they jogged up to the library. The line in front of the white building was epic. Almost as epic as "The Lord of the Rings" itself.

"We're never gonna make it to the front", Stan sighed.

"No, you probably wont. Pick a number, everything up from 83 will have to come back tomorrow." As fit for a librarian, the bespectacled man had snuck up to the boys without making a sound and whispered the words so low, they had to incline their heads in his direction in order to be able to hear him.

"You've gotta be kidding me", Stan groaned, but reached out to take two numbers anyway.

"Aw, man, we're 94 and 95", he complained, handing Kyle one of the slips of paper.

"I'll see you two tomorrow then", the librarian whispered and as silently has he had come, left again.

"Crap. What're we gonna do now?" Kyle asked, his shoulders slumping slightly. What was all the running good for now?

"Tell you what, I'll treat you to ice cream."

"I'm a diabetic."

"So? I have Asthma and I just ran here from school."


"Plus, your Mom went on a rampage last summer to force the ice cream parlor to sell ice cream for diabetics, remember? It's only fair you buy some once in a while."

"Point taken", Kyle consented and wandered down the road next to his friend.

"What movie were you talking about with Wendy, when I showed up?"

"Oh, I was just convincing her to go see Star Wars II with me."

"Why would she be interested in that?"

"Because of all the psychological backgrounds and romance of course", Stan grinned, earning him a raised eye brow from the boy walking next to him.

"Yeah, I guess it was pretty sappy, but it's still about the fighting and special effects. The acting really wasn't that good. Apart from Natalie Portman. But she's really hot, so that helped too."

"But Wendy doesn't need to know that, right?" Stan's grin turned a little evil and Kyle gave a short laugh. He could just picture Wendy in the theatre, trying to figure out why Anakin was turning out the way he was and sighing at how pretty that balcony kiss was, while Stan just enjoyed the view and action. Really, those two were actually quite a good couple.

Rounding another corner, they saw the little ice cream parlor a few houses away. How an ice cream parlor managed to survive around here, when they only had a few weeks of summer, they would never now. But lately, the period of summer in South Park had stretched from July to encompass June, July and August. Global warming be damned, the inhabitants of South Park had had to accept wearing lighter clothes, eating ice cream, swimming and a whole bunch of other things that came with summer.

"Okay, pick a flavor", Stan invited and didn't even really have to wait for Kyle's "Oreo" in order to now that Kyle would most likely pick the cookie or strawberry. Just like Kyle knew that Stan was going to get either mint or apple, when the dark haired boy turned and entered the parlor. Soon enough he came out again, handing his friend a cone with the ice cream he had wanted.

"Thanks, dude", Kyle acknowledged and happily licked at the white ball of ice cream with the cookie chunks in it.

Out of the corner of his eyes he watched Stan struggle with his backpack that threatened to fall off one shoulder. Why Stan still hadn't accepted the fact that he wasn't cut out for multi-tasking, Kyle didn't know. But in the end, while the backpack strap was shrugged back onto his shoulder, Stan managed to smear ice cream onto his cheek, which he just couldn't wait the few extra seconds to taste.

Sighing, Kyle reached out to wipe the greenish dessert off his friend's cheek and proceeded to bring the finger to his mouth. Judging from the color Stan had picked apple, a flavor Kyle was rather fond of too.

Just before Kyle got the chance to stick his finger into his mouth though, fingers circled around his hand, preventing him from going any further and a foreign pair of lips and a corresponding tongue closed over his finger.

Kyle blinked into the very close eyes of his long term friend, before said friend released his finger with a silent 'pop'.

"You could have let me have that, you have enough", Kyle frowned and dried his finger off on his jeans.

"It was mint", Stan merely said, shrugging his shoulders. Kyle was allergic to mint.

"Oh. Thanks."

"No problem, dude."

"What are we gonna do now?"

"I don't know.. we could head down to Stark's pond, see if Kenny and Cartman are there."

"Sure, okay. Let's go."

Stan turned and took off in direction of the pond that was more of a little lake really. Kyle reached out and plucked a stray hair that clung to Stan's shoulder from his shirt and then fell into step next to his friend. He saw a car drive by that reminded him of the Marsh's car. Wrong license plate, though. Looking at the clouds above for some time, Kyle remembered another specific detail about Stan's family, or to be precise, his father.

"I really don't get why your Dad thinks we're gay."

"Beats me." Stan shrugged it off and together they continued to stroll down the streets in silence, both engrossed in their ice cream.

The End

A/N: Yeah, so, anyway - that's it g Tell me what you thought about it, kay? And in case you were wondering, Leo is Butters and Phil is Pip - I kinda have this thing believing that sometime until high school they'd get tired of their nicknames, grow up a little and want to be taken serious, so, yeah..