60Disclaimer - You know the drill.
AN - So, since I'm still on a school induced high I thought I'd write my first real story since...May, I think it was. I really hope you like it. And yes, I know, the title absolutely blows.
Sure, Seeley Booth 'did alright' for himself. As long as doing alright meant a self-imposed celibacy for almost two years since deciding that if he couldn't have Temperance Brennan he didn't want anybody….I mean, since he came to the obviously logical conclusion that work place romances couldn't happen because of his high risk job. Who was he kidding, that first lame excuse was probably closer to the truth. Did he still get biological urges? Every damn day. Sure he could call someone, but it appeared that pining away after his partner had become his permanent course of action and nothing could deter him from his chosen path. As miserable as it made him.
And because his situation wasn't pathetic and painful enough he had put himself in a position that made things that much more excruciating. Apparently he was quite the glutton for punishment.
He moved his hand to the small of her back and guided her toward the far corner of the dimly lit Thai restaurant that they had found their way to after their shortest therapy session ever. Yep, one for the record books. But what progress they had made in those few short minutes! Not only had Bones opened up about how she felt about being rejected by Mark and Gay Jason, but for the first time in their partnership she had really looked at him. Sure, she'd looked at him before; glared at him, stared incredulously at him, sneered at him even, but tonight she had looked into his eyes and he had felt something in that gaze. He didn't know what it was, but something was different.
Conversation flowed that evening as it always did and, as was the case after so many evenings spent in her company, Booth felt like he was under a spell; her spell. He hoped she couldn't see it in his eyes, the look of adoration that must be there considering how strong the feelings were that were coursing through his body.
It took him a moment to realize she was talking to him about their latest case and he shook his head trying to put up a roadblock for his thoughts. Dwelling on Temperance Brennan had become pretty detrimental to his peace of mind. But any attempts to get her out of his head lately had been futile. He tried to focus on the words and not just the pretty lips they were coming from.
"I mean, I understand the history of exploitation of human emotions and feelings for the entertainment of the masses, torture was a popular form of entertainment in ancient Rome, but one would think that evolution might have progressed far enough along that common decency could at least be extended to keep peoples' suffering marriages from becoming a laugh for the masses," said Bones as she picked away at her dinner.
"I'm actually surprised to hear you say that Bones. I expected something along the lines of a statement that if the man could so easily be tempted away then the marriage should probably break up anyway, in front of a million people or not," he joked. She had never made a secret of her contempt for the institution.
"Booth!" she exclaimed. "I may not believe in the sanctity of marriage like you do, but I do know that many of those couples had children and that many of those people are probably miserable right now and millions of strangers know it. I do believe people should be happy Booth," she finished quietly looking down at her plate.
Just not yourself he though sadly. He immediately regretted saying anything as he saw the somewhat wounded expression marring her features.
"I didn't mean to imply anything Bones," he stammered. "I just… you usually…I don't know," he finished lamely.
"I know," she said softly. "I did mean it though Booth, when I said I was considering the argument for monogamy. Logically it made sense for me to find two people to meet my varying needs if they couldn't be met by one person, but after seeing the results…. People can get hurt. I realize that now. I was being selfish and wasn't thinking about how it would affect Jason and Mark if they actually felt serious about me."
He beamed at her. "And you say I don't have a positive effect on you."
"This doesn't mean that there's a white gown and diapers anywhere in my future," she said quickly, not wanting his head to get too big. "I've just….got a lot to think about." Her gaze lingered on him for a moment before she glanced away.
"Bones, finding that one person doesn't have to mean weddings and white picket fences." He looked her right in the eyes willing her to truly understand what he was trying to tell her. "There are no obligations to change who you are or your beliefs for that person. If they're the one then they'll love you for how wonderful you are without trying to mold you into someone else."
She looked intently at him. There was a hint of confusion in her eyes and a little bit of fear as well. He knew his words were pretty intense, especially for someone like Bones who had never considered the magnitude of what love had to offer, but she just had to understand. He needed her to understand.
"Booth, I don't know…" she trailed off, her eyes pleading with him; for time, for patience, for anything really that would get her out of this situation that was forcing her to face feelings that she had kept buried for so long.
Booth decided to take pity on her.
"So Daisy had to go eh?" he asked, smiling at the relief visible on her face.
"Yes," she sighed, obviously grateful. "Not only did Cam have a problem with her initiative, which in itself is an admirable quality, but I have come to realize that there are times and places when it's not welcome. And she was just too presumptuous. Cam told me she was already giving indications that she considered her position to be permanent before receiving any positive feedback from us."
"Didn't help that she had a bit of a crush on you did it?" said Booth teasingly.
Brennan nodded. "I don't think crush is the appropriate word Booth, but I will admit that her idolizing me did have some affect on my decision. Hero worship implies a weakness of character, an inability to think for oneself and a desperate need for approval that would have irked me to no end. I mean, I think she would have strangled Sweets for real if I'd asked her."
"You must get tired of that kind of thing," said Booth attempting to keep the admiration out of his voice that made completely obvious his feelings that if anyone was worthy of such devotion it was her. The truth was that he was prodigiously proud of her and really didn't care if she or anyone else knew it.
"I think you overestimate me," she said, smiling modestly before continuing soberly. "People always let you down Booth. No one's perfect. I'm not just speaking from my past, but human beings never live up to the pictures we paint of them in our besotted minds. It's never an admirable quality to nurture an unhealthy obsession."
Booth looked surprised. "But Bones, Zach practically worshiped the ground you walked on and you never had a problem with him."
A pained expression crossed Brennan's face and Booth winced. He couldn't believe he had let that slip out. He was usually pretty sensitive when it came to knowing what subjects not to broach at what times, but to him it still felt like Zach was part of the team and it was hard removing him from daily conversation.
Time for another tangent. Hmmm...what could he bring out. Ah yes, his favourite punching bag.
"You were pretty quick to shut Sweets down when he wanted to come with us tonight," he said grinning. "Just had to get me alone eh?"
Where he expected her to scowl and tell him off for his arrogance, her cheeks tinged pink and she shook her head a little too emphatically.
"Of course you'd think that, but really we spend a lot of time alone already. While I've come to respect Sweets in a professional capacity, his company is something I can only seem to take in doses and he's been spending quite a bit of time with us lately." Her quick recovery executed with only a hint of nervousness, Brennan quickly looked down at her plate which must have held an infinite amount of interest since she was looking at it like it held the key to life's mysteries.
"Well, he's got a crush on you too," said Booth as if it was the most logical thing in the world that everyone would be as infatuated with Brennan as he was finding himself lately.
Now she was scowling. "He does not Booth."
"He said you were hot," he asserted, raising an eyebrow at her. Get around that!
She glanced at him with a mixture of shyness and smugness and suddenly he was worried.
"In Vegas I believe you said something along the same lines. Do you have a crush on me Booth?" she asked almost playfully.
His eyes widened. "That's not fair," he protested. "I…" He stopped and gulped nervously.
She let him suffer for a moment longer before taking pity on him. After all, he had been such a gentleman tonight. She brought the conversation around to a topic that always made him smile: Parker. She sat back and listened to him boast about his son; laughing at his antics and nodding in approval at his accomplishments. She couldn't help but think that while Booth had told her that 'the one' wouldn't want her to change that his 'one' would then obviously have to be someone who could give him another reason like Parker to smile with pride about.
When the bill came he paid and helped her on with her coat for the second time that evening and again, she made no protest.
She really did want to know the answer to the question she had asked him earlier. It may have been asked in jest, but the implications of some of his earlier statements combined with the mood of the entire evening created by his speech, were making her head spin. He had been sneaking glances at her all evening and the way he had looked at her while telling her that there was someone out there meant to love her and be with her made her almost wonder….No! He was out with her simply to cheer her up. While it was sweet of him to give up his evening to provide her with company she didn't want to read into it. But she found herself beginning to wish for something she had never even thought she wanted.
The drive home was silent. Brennan didn't want the evening to come to a close, but had no idea how to prolong it without giving Booth undue insight into the confusing thoughts that had been assailing her all night. Her stomach swirled as they approached her building and she couldn't help but wonder if their evening, that had born all the trappings of a real date, might possibly end in the same fashion. Her fantasies fled when the car began to slow down. No need to get her hopes up for no reason. God, if only she had the courage to do something, say something – anything to keep him with her for a few more minutes.
When they pulled up to her apartment building he got out with her and walked her to the front door. In that moment, for the first time that evening, she remembered Mark and Jason. If she were with Mark right now they'd be tumbling through her front door as she cleared her mind of everything but becoming completely satiated. On the other hand, if she were with Jason she'd kiss his cheek, thank him for an intellectually fulfilling evening and then go in alone, but approaching her front door with Booth had her feeling flustered and nervous. She didn't know how to act. Treat it like a band-aid; get it over with quickly.
She hesitated for a moment at the door before turning to him and smiling softly. The moonlight graced her features and Booth felt his breath catch. All he wanted in that moment was to simply stare at her, to take her in as one would a beautiful work of art. He willed his hands to stay in his pockets as they itched to trace her illuminated features. She caught his gaze and by the pale moonlight he could just make out the blush traveling down her neck, disappearing into the generous V of her dress, somewhere he knew he shouldn't be looking, but God, he was only human. Her voice cut the night air softly.
"I...I want to thank you Booth, for everything. It was very sweet of you to give up your evening for me, to cheer me up. You do that a lot, make time for me and I just want you to know that…that it means a lot."
She gave him a look full of regret before she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned to head inside when his hand shot out and wrapped around her arm.
"Temperance," he said, his voice bordering on desperate. He couldn't let her leave him believing that this evening had been a result of him feeling sorry for her. What did he have to do to make her see what she meant to him? That he would willingly give up every evening for the rest of his life as long as he was able to spend it in her company. "You make it sound like I don't want to be here. Never think that what I do for you is done for any other reason than that I want to be with you."
"I know, but you give up…"
She continued making excuses and by now he was getting frustrated. Was she being willfully ignorant, purposefully not understanding what most women would have latched onto back in Sweets' office when he had leaned toward her intimately and talked softly about true love. A smile lit up his face as he realized that he was going to be forced to take one course of action that would leave her in no doubt of what he had been implying all evening.
He kissed her.
And time stopped.
He felt like he was spinning, drowning, falling as he pulled her flush against him and pressed his mouth softly against hers in a kiss that left him feeling dizzy. She let out a soft moan and melted into his embrace.
He finally moved back and opened his eyes only to find Brennan's still closed. Eventually they opened and the look that he found there made his heart stop. He saw the fear and confusion from earlier, but also saw an understanding and joy that warmed him from his feet to the roots of his gelled hair.
She smiled almost dreamily at him before leaning in once again to capture his lips with hers. Her hands slid up his arms and he had to suppress a shiver as her delicate fingers traces his muscles before moving up to his shoulders. Her tongue probed his lower lip and he opened his mouth to let his tongue tangle with hers in an intimate dance that he never thought he'd ever be allowed to experience with her.
When they pulled apart she sighed softly and tilted her head questioningly.
"Booth, everything you said tonight about the one person that I'm meant to be with forever….were you talking about you?" she looked so timid and apprehensive that he couldn't resist pulling her into his arms.
He nodded his head. "Does that scare you?"
"Not as much as I thought it would," she said honestly. "I think that everything you and Angela have been trying to get me to understand…I think it's starting to make sense. I'm tired of going through life just trying to satisfy urges without forming real connections. Booth, you're the first real connection that I've had in a very long time."
He smiled proudly. "I'm glad," he whispered just before his lips met hers again.
"Do you want to come up?" she mumbled against his lips. All she knew now was that after three long years of waiting, she had a lot of catching up to do which was going to begin tonight if Booth wasn't going to go all heroic on her and declare that she needed time.
"Are you sure?" he asked, knowing he wouldn't be able to bear going from such a high to a morning after of her telling him that it was all a mistake.
"Definitely," she said almost seductively as she turned her key and entered the building. Booth followed closely behind her. It seemed that that long, excruciating period that had been labeled 'doing alright' was mercifully coming to a close.
So? Comments? Questions? Anything? Spelling mistakes especially, as this hasn't been edited. PLEASE please please review! This is where I could make you all sorts of promises: chocolate Booths, candy Booths, naked Booths...sigh ...where was I? Oh yes, but really the only thing I can promise you is the satisfaction of knowing you've made one poor writer's day...I know, that does nothing for you does it?