ELFEN LIED FANFICTION

Note to readers: This is a very fucked up crossover of Evil Dead, Aria and Elfen Lied. Keep in mind that I may or may not finish this story. It all depends on how much work load I am bombarded with over the semester. With that being said, please review the story . Constructive criticism is always welcomed in my books, constuctive flaming is acceptable too, just don't make it too brutally pointless.

Chapter One

Lucy awoke with a throbbing pain in her head- a feeling that transcended the normal boundaries of a headache and turned it the equivalent of a benign tumor pressing upon the edges of the skull.

A cool breeze welcomed her awakening with a gentle stroke on the cheek.

Maybe it was mid autumn? It was mid autumn the last time she saw Kouta.

Kouta.

Wait a second, she remembered bits and pieces of the events that played out before she was knocked out. Her mind went over the images like a crazy CCG collector riffling through mint condition cards.

First she went grocery shopping. That was one, then she remembered strolling out into the parking lot with a cart full of groceries- mostly vegetables for that part.

After that...

Her mind snapped back from her memories of semi-domestic bliss and lost its train of thought. Everything after was a muddy blur.

She felt craggly concrete under her and rubbed it furtively.

It suddenly occured to her that she was lying in a slightly tangled up position in the fashion of a thrown out rag doll. Did she break anything?

The breeze brushed against her cheek insistently as she did a full body scan of herself.

She had sprained a wrist. Not bad, compared to the injuries she sustained a year ago during her stand off with Kakuzawa's army. That particular incident had landed her into the intensive care unit for over six months, not to mention the so-called 'clinic' she was admitted into was a shady privately owned business- rife with rusty surgical tools and the smell of rot.

Or maybe it was just the horrible perfume the female 'doctor' wore. It didn't matter. What mattered was that they fished out the bullets out of her with maximum efficiency, (not to mention a maximum tax on Kouta's wallet) and with minimum exposure to the outside world. The whole shebang was located in the basement of some long forgotten restaurant.

She shook her head and felt a painful throb of wet cement bounce around the annals of her skull. Her vectors were twitching spastically, not exactly cutting or grabbing anything, but still fast enough to knock out anyone that was standing within a two meter radius.

The world slowly unfolded around her as her vision cleared with the synonymous slowing of her spastic vectors.

'Where...in the world am I?' Lucy thought groggily as she witnessed the strange water canal laden metropolis in front of her. The houses were built in the fashion of middle class Venice, with stucco walls and the occasional stick out house with obnoxious colours.

Lucy turned her eyes towards the sky and gave a little gasp as she saw an island floating in the air. There was some kind of biomorphic structure located on top of the hovering piece of land, with outstretching wires shooting out into nowhere in particular.

Aircraft hovered lazily around the structure with no apparent purpose in mind other than to hover lazily around the thing.

Lucy's vectors finally gained enough control to shrink themselves into her body.

'This...must...be some kind of dream.' She thought in between pulsing throbs in her head. There was no fucking way this could be real. The whole place had a sort of unearthly calm to it, as if...

'As if the gravity was reduced.' Lucy concluded as she struggled to her feet.

Her heightened Diclonius senses made out the ever so slight change in gravity. Her vertical jump could have easily increased by one centimetre or more if this were indeed reality.

Lucy rubbed her bruised pelvis and winced. She had landed on some kind of slanted surface, further disorienting her as she abruptly sat back down in an effort to regain her balance.

It was a roof.

She had landed on a roof of all things.

Lucy glanced at the spinning bronze rooster weather vane and expressed deep appreciation that she did not land on the razor sharp thing.

The roof was coloured a cheerful looking aquamarine, which danced in her eyes a little bit before resuming to its normal flatness. The shingles were immaculate, as if the house had never even heard of the concept of a 'storm.'

Lucy gripped the cheerful shingles and staggered up again, only to lose her balance.

She couldn't really sit down this time though, as she leaned too forward for any sort of bodily compensation.

She proceeded to fall face first into an equally immaculate wooden deck that seemed to gleam with a maniacal and overly cheerful zing.

Her vectors reacted when her face was one inch from certain shattering.

A vector desperately slammed down into the wooden boards, creating a rather noticeable indent in the once immaculate wood. It stopped Lucy's face from getting shattered, but it didn't fully cancel out the impact, as blood was steadily pouring out of her nose in a cheeky stream.

Lucy clutched her nose and cursed as she plopped herself against the wooden wall, which turned out to be some kind of steel made to look like wood. A rounded nautical window plucked directly from Jules Vernes' novels glared down at her as if to accuse her of the damage she caused to the wooden floor.

Lucy removed her hand from her nose and glared down accusingly at the bright red blood that stained her hands. The throbbing pain in her head was now accompanied by a symphony of stinging pain that permeated throughout her nose.

A melodic sounding voice belonging to a girl of about fifteen or sixteen suddenly chimed out, ' President Aria! We're going off to the market today to get you some new food!'

A response consisting of a joyful sounding , 'Pui Nui!' cut through Lucy's sensitive ears as she laid low, desperate not to be seen by the potential Pollyanna that was about to pass by.

A pretty and cute looking (and when Lucy thought 'cute', it meant a lot. Nana wasn't cute. She was simply obnoxious.) girl in a funny looking futuristic bastardization of the traditional sailor suit strolled over with an incredibly obese cat, which was quite sprightly despite its immense size.

The girl was still yammering on about how many new people she would meet in the market place until Lucy gave a peculiar sounding 'hic' from swallowing too much of her nosebleed.

The girl froze for a moment, 'President Aria, I think somebody's on the other side of the deck...'

Lucy knew it would be futile to engage the girl in an endless ring around the rosy hide and seek chase, so she wobbled out of her hiding place and faced the music.

A look of bemusement crept over the pink haired girl's oh-so-kawaii face as she chimed, 'Oh! Who are you? What are you doing here?'

Lucy tried to articulate an unruly tongue as she swept away a pink bang, 'I...erm...what is this place?'

It came out more like,' Whub ih dis blaze?'

The pink haired girl frowned, ' Your nose is bleeding! I think you'd better go inside.'

Lucy was feeling a little lightheaded, so she nodded slightly, followed by another slight blub.

Lucy was led into a pleasant looking kitchen with a picturesque glass table in the middle of the room. As expected of the house, everything was immaculately cleaned to the point of being painfully clean.

Lucy winced a little as the oven gleamed at her in a wide toothed grin.

'Wait...where did Alicia sempai put the medical kit...' The pink haired girl was fumbling around in a shelf that seemed to contain endless amounts of cooking ingredients and sweets, which were most likely meant for the cat.

Lucy clasped her hands over her nose.

The bleeding had stopped, but her hands had the look of a child's hand after a chaotic session of palm painting.

A soft thump awoke Lucy from her reverie as the pink haired girl set down an expensive looking white box . The cat was purring in a low voice at her feet as she fished out silky looking gauze and put it in front of Lucy, 'Just...put them in your nose. That should stop the bleeding. Aria Shachou, what is it?'

It was the first time Lucy had detected anything remotely close to negativity in her voice.

The obese cat was pulling at the pink haired girl's bastardized sailor uniform as it chirruped noisily in its usual pui nui nui tirade.

'Oh, we have visitors?' The pink haired girl glanced at a particularly large rectangular open window and saw a serious faced young man with a ridiculously large pony tail swinging to and fro from the sea breeze.

'Yo. Pigtails. Is Alicia home today?'

Pigtails gave a small annoyed pout and said in a whiny but not unpleasant voice, 'My name's not pigtails! It's Akari.! Stop calling me that...'

In a superhuman blur that astonished even Lucy, ponytail man slipped through the window and grabbed Akari's pink and conditioned hair in a way that was slightly disturbing.

Lucy's vectors twitched.

'Can you give me a tour of the city while we wait for Alicia to come home?'

'I'm...afraid I can't do that. I've got somebody here...I think she's lost.'

Ponytail man turned his attention to Lucy, who was looking quite ridiculous with two wads of gauze shoved in her nose, ' Oh...is she one of your friends pigtails?'

Lucy removed the two pieces of gauze from her nose and spoke slowly, for fear that any sudden movement would cause a waterfall of blood to pour out from her nose, 'I have no idea how I got here...one minute I was in the parking lot of a shopping center, and then...'

'Shopping center?' Ponytail man furrowed his brow and put his finger on his chin in a rather foppish attempt to look scholarly, 'There's no shopping centers here as far as I'm concerned...there's only ones on Manhome...'

'Manhome?' Lucy slurred. She played around with the word in her mouth as she tried to articulate the alien feel of the word combination, 'Are you aliens or something?'

'Akatsuki san is talking about...what is that old term for Manhome...Earth? Yes. He's talking about Earth. Are you from Earth?' Akari asked gently.

Lucy leapt from the fairytale styled wooden chair as she opened her eyes wide, 'Earth!? What are you talking about!? Am I on some other planet...or something?'

Akari bit her lip in the cutest fashion possible and crossed her hands behind her back, 'You're on Mars right now...I ...do you have amnesia?'

Lucy sputtered helplessly as she pondered whether or not this was some kind of a cruel joke.

Akatsuki twitched his lips in a fashion not too far removed from Captain Bligh , 'Ummm...maybe it would be best if you...erm...explained your situation to us...'

Lucy opened and closed her mouth like a dying fish and slowly lowered her voice from an archetype anime helium filled voice into her normal slightly husky tone, ' Just curious...' she glanced around the room and saw some pieces of advanced technology that she had never seen before.

Feeling slightly stupid, she muttered, 'What year is this?'

Akari raised an eyebrow and said, 'It's the year two thousand three hundred and fifty. Why do you ask?'

Lucy felt as if an invisible cartoon gloved hand had shoved itself straight into her stomach. This had to be a dream. There was no explanation for this plot directly lifted from Back to the Future.

'Somebody fucking pinch me. This is not real...' Lucy stumbled a bit and almost fell on her bottom. Akatsuki rushed over in his trademark manly grace and prepared himself to steady the shell shocked Diclonius. Lucy was busily babbling something about how all she had to do was bump her head on something to snap out of her dream.

A vector induced punch to the forehead did the trick of knocking her out.

Lucy inexplicably slumped forward and collapsed on the floor, cancelling out any use Akatsuki might have had in standing behind Lucy.

The last thing she heard was a horrified (albeit rather kawaii) gasp from Akari as she hit the floor.