Author's Note: I don't normally write in the first person, or in the present tense, but I felt that it was the only way this would work. Please let me know if it actually did, or if it was all in my tired brain!

Hazmat


Charming Life

I haven't exactly led a charmed life…my parents disappeared when I was 15; I went into foster care and bounced around until my Grandpa got me out. I've been on my own since he died when I was 17. I got my degree and am now one of the foremost forensic anthropologists in the world, which you'd think was a good thing, but let's face it…I know how to get into trouble, especially when I least expect it.

Lately however, things have started to change, and I don't know what to think about it. It all started about the time I met him, my partner, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. Suddenly, when I got into trouble, there was someone to bail me out; and for the first time, I've had someone that I wanted to be there to bail out, someone else.

That's not to say that I wouldn't have done anything to help Angela, Zack or Hodgins, and I know that they would do anything to help me, but somehow, in ways I don't quite understand, this is different.

It's like there's this deep, overwhelming desire to be more for him than I ever was for myself. It's so hard to be articulate about something like this. I only know that for some reason that I don't even want to admit to myself even exists, I feel the need to prove myself worthy of the unconditional friendship, and perhaps even affection, that he bestows on me.

Knowing him has made my life better, I can admit it. My work has always been important, but now, now I have a purpose, I help people in ways that I was never helped. I give them their loved ones back, and help to catch the people responsible for their loss in the first place. It's a good feeling, knowing that you've made a difference in someone's life. I have him to thank for that.

Having him around has made me see parts of myself that I thought no longer existed. Sometimes I don't like it, it makes me vulnerable, and with the life I've had, when you can only rely on yourself, being vulnerable is a liability. But with him it's different. It's okay to be vulnerable, because he won't let anything happen when I let my guard down. It's because of this that I now find myself able to open up more easily and let him in, because I know that he won't hurt me, he won't use what I tell him against me.

The most important thing that he's done, is that he gotten me to open up my heart. It's one of those things that I almost thought I didn't have anymore, well, this part of it anyway. I may pretend that I don't feel anything, but every skull is a face that I see, and a life cut short, and that gets to me. No, it's the part of my heart that seeks other people that he's opened up. With that however, comes the feelings in myself that I've discovered that I have for him.

It's not so bad though. Before, this would have had me in absolute denial mode, but this is him, he just, I trust him, and I know that it's not a bad thing that my heart has decided that he's the one to beat for, because I know that it won't destroy me. He won't let it.

Since I met Special Agent Seeley Booth, I've been charming life. I guess that's only appropriate, seeing as the whole time, he's been charming me.


End Note: I do not own Bones, Fox and the creators do. No infringement intended.