Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight; I'm just the girl obsessed enough to Google adrenaline rush cuz Edward told me to. (See the greenhouse clip from the Twilight movie).
A/N: I wrote this one-shot because I actually loved Breaking Dawn. And I felt there weren't enough Edward x Renesmee moments to satisfy me - in my opinion she spent way too much time with Jacob and Rosalie and not enough with her actual parents. The italics are thoughts, mainly Renesmee's.
"All of my regret will wash away somehow,
But I cannot forget, the way I feel right now.
In these small hours, these little wonders,
these twisted turns of fate."
'Little Wonders' – Rob Thomas
If anyone had told me when we first arrived in Forks that two years later I would meet the love of my life, and that less than three years after that we would be married with a daughter, I probably would have laughed in their face.
I'm being utterly serious. The idea that I could control myself long enough to have a romantic relationship with anyone, let alone a human, was strictly fiction, and to actually consummate a marriage and conceive a child was a future I never dreamed of...well if I could dream anyway.
And yet, here I am, standing in the smallest bedroom of our cottage, watching my daughter sleep. Her bronze curls are spread messily over the soft white pillow as she lays underneath a carefully knitted pale yellow quilt, one little fist clutching a tiny caramel-coloured bear; a gift from Emmett, which amusingly came from his own bedroom. I can hear Bella arguing with Alice downstairs, something about another unavoidable shopping trip. I choose to block them out and instead focus on the soothing waves of Renesmee's dreams. Faces fill her mind clearly, mine, Bella's, Jacob's, our family; Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme, and her human acquaintances; Charlie, Sue, Billy, Seth and Leah. Simultaneously, a distant music threads its way into her mind, fragments of Bella's lullaby mixed in with Esme's song and the unfinished composition written for Renesmee herself.
I lean down, letting my hand fall into the iron-bar crib, which we so cleverly tried to disguise with bright patchwork quilts. I smoothed her hair away from her face, her eyelids fluttering vaguely as Bella enters the room behind me.
"Hi," she whispers, her voice breaking the silence gently, the only other sounds being our non-needed breathing and the soft thumping of Renesmee's heart. "Alice wants me to go shopping with her again. Will you be okay with Renesmee? We could be gone all day," she asks and I nod slightly,
"It's fine, I've been wanting to have a day with her for ages, everyone seems to steal her off me," I say and Bella laughs,
"Poor you. Everyone's ganging up on you, aren't they? Stealing your wife and daughter right from your grip," I smile and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me.
"That's right. My wife and our daughter, I may have to report them - good thing my father-in-law is a cop."
Bella grins and strokes Renesmee's face with one pale white finger as her grin softens,
"Are you glad we kept her? That you and Carlisle didn't terminate the pregnancy," she asks and my breathing hitches. How do you answer that question, when through nearly the whole time Bella was pregnant, I never thought it to be a baby, just a monster, hell-bent on killing my wife.
I sigh, "Yes. In a way I am glad we didn't destroy her, but in another I wish we had," Bella looks up at me, her eyes questioning, I take another breath and begin to explain, "Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful that you were stubborn enough to carry her. But I wish it was different, that we were both human when it happened, or that I wasn't the father. To see you in that much pain, to know I was the reason behind it. It killed me,"
Bella placed her fingers of my lips but I shook my head. She needed to hear this.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have slept with you whilst you were still human; if I hadn't given in we would have never been in this predicament. But oddly enough, I have no problem with it. After all I managed to give you another human request - motherhood. Err...minus the whole broken pelvis, throwing up blood, gruesome labor thing, and I have probably liked to have had at least nine months to get used to the idea of a baby," I finished and Bella chuckled slightly, her eyes full of wonder and understanding.
"I love you," she said quietly, "I love you so, so much," she stood carefully on her toes to reach my face, her lips pressing against mine gently. I hugged her gently, not letting our lips part. Until a shriek came from downstairs,
"ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN! Get your arse down here and in my car before I come up and physically drag you!" Alice screamed and Bella pulled away from me quickly, eyes wide.
"Sorry! I should go. Love you!" she said quickly before running out of the room, a blur of pale skin, dark hair and a blue dress.
I smiled at the door as a soft whimpering came from behind me. I turned to see Renesmee sitting up in her crib, clutching the bear to her chest, her dark eyes surveying the room before zeroing in on my face. I walked over to the side of it and looked down on her,
"Hello baby. Why are you awake? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I asked and she shook her head rapidly, her thoughts echoing one thing,
No sleep. No sleep. Daddy no sleep.
I grinned as she pulled herself to her feet, both arms raised, her white cotton nightgown falling to her ankles. I pulled her into my arms, cradling her against my hip.
"Who gave you this?" I asked, tracing one of the pearl buttons on her gown carefully with one finger. Renesmee smiled,
"Ali," she said, the words coming from her mouth this time, as she snuggled her head into my neck, touching my cheek gently. I was hit with three vivid pictures, Bella, Jacob and Rosalie.
I tried not to let the hurt fill my expression. But it was hard, to know that you didn't even come up in the top three requests of people from your own biological daughter.
I shook my head, I had sworn to myself I would let these feelings go, it wasn't Jacob's fault he had imprinted, and if it wasn't for Rosalie, Renesmee probably wouldn't be here now. And well who wouldn't love Bella? Despite how biased I was.
Renesmee had obviously picked up on my mood change, because she was clinging to me tighter and her thoughts were reflecting her opinion on the matter,
Why is Daddy so stiff? It's uncomfortable. Did I make him sad? Where's Momma, she makes him happy.
I laughed gently, "Sorry baby. Momma's shopping with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie, Jacob is with Billy and Aunt Emmett is hunting with Uncle Jasper and Carlisle. So you get to spend the day with me, if you want. Or we could go see Esme if you want," I said and a frown graced her forehead,
Nope! Daddy's day today.
I smiled and twirled slightly, letting her giggles fill the room, before setting her down on the dresser.
"Shall we dress you then?" I asked and she nodded, curling her legs underneath her as I pulled open the top drawer, Renesmee instructing me strictly,
A dress Daddy. But not a lacy one, a pretty one. Try the bottom drawer, Momma always puts the good dresses at the bottom.
I opened the bottom drawer on her command and was met by a cloud of clothing.
Over there, in the corner. No daddy not the yellow one! The blue one. The other blue one. That one!
I finally recovered the dress she wanted, and stood up to face her grinning smile, her arms in the air. I removed her nightgown carefully and buttoned her into the clean dress. It hung to her knees, a soft cotton blue skirt. I smoothed down the simple sleeves and fastened the tiny blue buttons on the back. I then grabbed the pair of dainty white sandals Alice had so proudly purchased and slipped them onto Renesmee's feet. She looked at me from under a mess of bronze curls, looking much like Bella used to when she had just woken up.
You have to tie my hair up now. Otherwise it goes everywhere and goes yucky and then Aunty Ali will yell at you.
I picked up the silver-backed brush, combing it through the curls. I then separated her hair into even parts before braiding it, for once pleased that Alice had taken the time to teach me how. When I was finished, Renesmee greeted me with a wide smile, her hair reaching half-way down her back in an excellent representation of a braid - for me anyway. Scooping her back up in my arms, I made my way downstairs.
Renesmee glared at me from her position in the highchair. I stood there, trying not to smirk as I offered her the cup once more. She shook her head violently,
Daaadddyyy! I don't wanna drink the white stuff! It smells gross - I don't care what Carlisle says. Blood tastes better, why can't I just go hunting with you, Momma and Jakey later?
"Renesmee, you have to drink it. Please. I'll take you hunting later," I persuaded, and she glared harder,
Why? It's really gross! If it's so good for me why don't you drink it?
I laughed, "Because, baby, I'm not the half-human here," she scowled,
Fine. But you have to let me wrestle with Jake later. Uncle Emmett made a bet that I would kick his arse.
I raised my eyebrows, "You'll have to see with your mother about that. And don't say the word 'arse'; I'll be shot because of it,"
Okay. Now hand over the outrageously icky white stuff you call baby formula.
I handed her the cup and she took a sip, shuddering the whole time, "Thank you Nessie, we can go do something fun in a minute," I said and she looked at me pointedly,
Momma doesn't like you calling me Nessie.
"Well we won't tell her then,"
It's okay. I don't mind.
"Why because Jacob made it up?"
Hey! I thought you liked Jake now. And no, I like it because Renesmee is a weird name.
I smirked, "Okay, I give in, I can stand Jacob now. Your name is not that weird,"
Daddy. My first and middle names are mixes of both sets of my grandparents. When did Momma think of them?
"I have no idea. Oh well, just be glad you weren't a boy,"
Why? What was she going to call me?
"EJ," her eyes squinted questioningly,
Okay...what does it stand for?
"Edward Jacob. Because my father's name was Edward also," I answered and she nodded,
Alright. Momma really loves you and Jacob doesn't she?
I smiled softly, "Yes she does. Although I believe she feels Jacob is the brother she never had now, and obviously she loves me, otherwise we would not be married and you would not be here. But let's not go into that shall we?"
Eww. Don't want to think about that. Wait a minute; I thought Carlisle was your father.
"Carlisle is my adoptive father, to put it one way. My birth father's name was Edward Masen Snr. I was Edward Masen the 2nd," I answered,
Really? What is your full name then?
"My full name was Edward Anthony Masen. But you can stick Cullen on the end if you want,"
So if I wanted I could include your name and Momma's names in mine? So it could be Renesmee Carlie Masen Swan Cullen.
"And you think that just your first name is weird? That is certainly a mouthful," she laughed and the sound filled the kitchen.
So if Carlisle is your adoptive father and Esme is your adoptive mother, what was your real mother's name?
I stifled a gasp. In actual fact, I had not thought about my mother since that fateful day when Carlisle told Bella her request for him to save my life. "My birth mother's name was Elizabeth Masen. I do not know her maiden name. She had the same bronze hair that we both share, and the green eyes that I once had," Renesmee smiled wistfully,
So I have bits of everyone in me then. Momma's eyes, yours and Elizabeth's hair, Charlie's curls, the pale skin like the other Cullens and Jacob's appetite.
I laughed at that. It was true, when we did our usual group hunts; it had become a game to see how much could be eaten between Renesmee and Jacob. Renesmee broke my thoughts,
Can we go do something now? I finished that monstrous thing you forced me to drink.
"Sure," I said, picking her up and letting her resume her favourite position; against my hip with her head under my chin, "What do you want to do?" she sat there for a while, pondering different activities.
Hunting? Momma won't let us. Shopping? Eww no. Wrestling? Nah don't want to hurt Daddy. I had to laugh at that and she scowled at me once more.
Be quiet, you're not funny. Oh I know!
"Park!" she said clearly, her voice ringing out like bells. The sound much more delightful out loud than in her thoughts.
And so I walked slowly to the door, pulled a hat out of the hall closet for her, settling it on her head, the white brim flopping over one eye, and began our trek to the one place I had never bothered to set foot in before...the park in Forks.
The park was not as atrocious as I had originally thought. It was quite simple, a slide, three swings, a roundabout and a sandpit. There were several park benches littered around the perimeter, obviously for the parents to sit and gossip at while their children were set to run free.
But regrettably I still had no idea what to do. So I merely requested the thoughts of Renesmee."Where to first?" I asked and she frowned,
Oh I don't know. Umm...
"The slide!" she yelled and I laughed before standing her on the ground and grabbing her hand,
"There you go. You can walk, lead the way," I said and she immediately took off. I was still finding it hard to remember that the little girl next to me, who so resembled a normal three-year-old, was actually a half-vampire.
I walked after her, keeping my hand clasped in her firm grip. It would do me no good to lose her, I would have an irate werewolf (sorry, shape-shifter) and four wrathful female vampires after me, one of whom is married to a guy twice my size.
Once we reached the slide, Renesmee gestured for me to bend down before placing her palm against my cheek. I saw a vision of myself passing her my jacket.
"Why, my dear, do you need my jacket?" I asked and she looked at me mockingly.
Daaadddyyy! To go down the slide on!
I gave her a queer look. "Err...why? It's not going to be hot," I said looking at the sky. Just like I'd thought, dull grey clouds; typical Forks weather.
She glared at me once more, So my dress doesn't get dirty. Aunty Alice screams a lot when clothes are disrespected.
"Ah right," I said before handing her my jacket, I was thanked with a joyful smile. Lifting her up onto the top of the slide, I settled her on the jacket, before giving her a light push. She shot down the slide squealing at the top of her lungs. I smiled; it was nice to see her act like a typical human child.
She jumped off the end of the slide and ran towards me, hugging my legs and beaming up at me,
That was fun! Let's do it again. But you have to come down too.
I stared at her, "Renesmee, baby, I don't think so," I said and she looked up at me, hitting me straight on with the 'puppy-dog face.' Her bottom lip jutted out and trembled slightly, while her chocolate brown eyes stared out from long, dark, curled lashes. Her face was instantly the split image of Bella.
Please Daddy. Just once.
She begged and I unfortunately, caved. "Alright Ness. But just once,"
She broke out in another grin before leading me to the ladder. I lifted her up once more, and then settled myself in behind her. "Ready?" I asked, she nodded,
I pushed us down the slide, Renesmee giggling like mad. For some reason I couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face.
I'm an idiot.
Brushing herself off, Renesmee ran towards the swings, before gesturing wildly for me to follow her.
Swings now. Help me up then push. she commanded and I chuckled. Then several buzzes came from my pocket, I pulled my cellphone out to see my inbox now contained three messages.
The first from Alice: Having fun Edward? Let her enjoy herself! And if you mess up that dress, I will not refrain from killing you.
I smirked before opening the next, this time it was Rosalie, her messages short as always: Whipped Edward whipped.
I frowned, then I hit the view button for the final message; Bella: Thank you. Savor the moment, I'll be home soon. Love you both.
Smiling softly I headed towards Renesmee; her impatient thoughts filling my head, I fastened her into the swing, tightening the strap around her middle, and then walked behind her. Renesmee giggled slightly,
Ready Daddy? 1, 2, 3 – GO!
I pushed her gently and the swing flew high, I noted that I should push softer and merely tapped the swing when it came back down. Renesmee pouted and gave a quiet growl,
Daddy, higher! That's the whole point!
I chuckled and gave the swing a harder shove, Renesmee took off giggling and squealing. I grinned and continued pushing her with the same force, while she yelled "Weeeeee!" across the park everytime she went higher. Suddenly I heard a car pull up behind us and I stopped pushing Renesmee for a minute to see who it was. Renesmee spotted him too before screaming to him,
Charlie smiled and headed over to us, "Hey kiddo, Edward. What are you guys doing?" he asked and Renesmee gestured to the swing,
"Swing!" she cried and he laughed,
So much like Bells, he thought and I smiled before Renesmee commanded me again,
Push Daddy! You can talk later.
Shaking my head I pushed her again, and Charlie watched her swing for a second then turned to me,
"You sure that's safe? Her being up that high," he asked and I nodded,
"Yeah she should be fine, I tried to go slower but she growled at me," Charlie let out a bark of laughter,
"Sorry," he said, "But that is kind of amusing, she growled at you because you wouldn't push her high enough," I shrugged,
"I think she gets her stubbornness from Bella. And maybe Emmett, he gets a bit obstinate when we play board games. And how come you stopped here? I mean, you don't normally skulk around playground equipment do you?"
He gave me a weird look, okay so maybe my humor didn't work on everyone then.
"No, I was headed to Sue's; she's planning on teaching me to cook something other than bacon and eggs. Then I saw you two, kind of hard not to miss that shade of hair colour, and thought I'd stop by. I probably should get going though,"
I nodded, "Yeah we probably should too. Alice took Bella shopping so we have to make room in our…I mean her wardrobe. And I need to get Nessie to bed," I said and unbuckled Renesmee from the swing, settling her on my hip.
"There you go Ness, kisses for Grandpa," I encouraged and she leant over to leave a sloppy kiss on Charlie's cheek. She moved away giggling while Charlie wiped his cheek. Laughing I waved as we headed for the car,
"See you Charlie. I'll tell Bella you said hi, come around tomorrow or something," I called and he nodded,
"Sure, bye!" he called back and I placed Renesmee gently in her car seat.
"There you go baby, let's get you home to bed,"
Renesmee had inevitably fallen asleep in the car, so I made my way slowly and quietly through our cottage towards her bedroom. She blinked sleepily as I buttoned her into her nightdress and waved her arm lazily when I laid her in her crib, covering her with the yellow quilt. She clutched the teddy bear to her chest once again and rolled on her side, mumbling slightly,
"Night night Daddy. I love you,"
I smiled tenderly down at her, "I love you too Renesmee," I said before humming the mix of Bella and her lullabies, and watched as my face filled her dreams.
A/N: Ohmiedward! That is honestly the longest one-shot I've ever written! My spell-check nearly had a aneurism – it doesn't like the words Cullen, Renesmee and Nessie. And does spell check bug anyone else when it keeps going on about fragments? God it annoys me!
Anyway! About the story; Edward and Renesmee communicated through thoughts. This is because in BD somewhere Bella said Renesmee could talk but she preferred to use her power (the touching of the face etc), but in that one part where Nessie was showing Bella her memories/dream, Edward was watching through Nessie's mind. Thus she talks through her mind to him.
But I love Edward x Renesmee moments so it was worth it. Look for more soon; I'm doing another and a Edward x Bella x Renesmee one.
And there´s a link on my profile for Nessie´s dress - under the story news/updates section. :P
Review with any comments please (and just ignore my queer disclaimers, they amuse me!)