He found himself caught in the net once again…Who could blame him.

Her cotton candy eyes shone brightly as she watched Yusuke hurl himself into the river, forming a canon ball just before his well toned body touched the clear water. Her cerulean hair fell loosely down her back, dripping wet from the water she fondly enjoyed playing in.

The old gang decided to have a little get together down by the river near the temple. Many seasons have passed since they last saw each other and a reunion was decided unanimously. How he wound up in this reunion he didn't have a clue. Glancing down at the picnic table he saw his weakness taunting him. Ice Cream. Ah, yes the memories started to flood back. That's how. Moisture formed around the container making the temptation even harder to resist. The smell of frosted vanilla tingled his nose. He was a blink away from jumping down from his branch to devour the desert. That is, until he heard the sweet melody of the blue haired angel.

He saw her rose colored lips moving, forming words; words he could not hear.

She had him hypnotized. Everything and everyone was turning into a faded blur…everyone except Botan. She was laughing and talking, she didn't even notice his unyielding gaze.

He needed to get out of her spell, and quick; he was falling faster than he had ever fallen before. He felt the muscles under his shirt twitch; they were turning against him too. He wanted what he couldn't have; he wanted what was not his. He found his eyes scanning her bikini clad body, fond of what he saw.

She had bought it for him. The suit. She told him that her thoughts where about him that day. He was stunned at the idea of someone thinking about him. It fit perfectly on her and looked even better. The deep red matched his eye to the very shade; it was the first thing that she wore that he approved of. Of course that was something he was not willing admit to anyone, but himself.

Kuwabara's large gorilla shaped body paraded its way in front of Botan, blocking Hiei's view of the deity. He was free of her grasp…for now. He knew he couldn't look at her for long periods of time…so he looked at the sky. Even the sky reminded him of the woman who stole his heart…

The memories he hid away were slowly making themselves to his consciousness. The memories of the decision he had to make revealed themselves no matter how hard he tried to conceal them. A mix of blue and black; red and pink; black and white swirled around inside his mind. He closed his eyes. He wished to be alone with his thoughts; for this will be the only time he would ever embrace them.

'I love you' she told him as they melted into each other. Being unfamiliar to the passions of love he simply kissed her as gently and significantly as possible, making up for his lack of words. A simple mission was what started this whole love ordeal. Now he was in the bed of the beautiful girl he hardly ever noticed. Naked. He had never in his life felt so content. Never had he had a minute without the haunting memories of his cursed past.

But here he was leaving all of that behind.

Botan's face was flushed and covered in sweat. She had been asleep for a while. She was just as beautiful sleeping as she was awake. Being lost in desire was an absurd belief Hiei once thought. Love, in his opinion, was a hopeless romantic's fairy tale. The feeling of fortune was something that never made its way to him.

What would the others thinks of these two formed a relationship together? What would they think? It was obvious what the detective and the oaf would get out of this, but Hiei wanted the thoughts of those who really matter. Basically his sister. Her personality was the opposite of his. Would she feel joy for them? Telling them that they were meant for each other? Or fear for Botan's safety? Maybe she sees him as a monster, like those who had disposed of him.

His past was the farthest from a saint's. He would understand if that was her reaction.

But Hiei was asking question to which he already knew the answers to. She would love the idea of Botan finally be with someone that she is interested in and the thought of Hiei being with someone that really mattered to him was enough to bring her to tears.

But his curiosity of what the other might say still got the better of him.

What would Kurama say? He almost chuckled out loud. Kurama was one of the easiest and most predictable ones to figure out. He would see this rationally, observing the pros and cons, dissecting every little information.

But of course Kurama's concern would be on Botan. Her safety was his main priority.

He felt Botan's hot breath fan his collar bone. Her delicate form pressed against his well toned body. He resisted the urge to take her once more. His arm moved under her and wrapped around her protectively. He wouldn't allow anything to happen to her, he didn't want her to suffer in anyway he did and he was going to make sure of it.

What would it be like living with the onna? He wanted to know what was in store for Botan and himself.

Hiei envisioned them living in a quiet forest, staring at the clear blue sky. Botan would laugh and stare at something that didn't catch his perceptive eyes. Looking down Hiei stared at two young demons, play fighting. His children. Pride swelled in his heart as he continued to watch the two.

He felt like he was living in that moment, he could taste the crisp air and felt the wind comb its fingers his ferocious hair. He wanted to see what was in store for his kin.

As Hiei placed himself farther into the future, he noticed that the end result was Botan…dying.

At first he thought that his mind was tired and wasn't thinking straight. It was conjuring things up; imagining things.

But then a possibility occurred to him; the Jagan was warning him.

'That's ridiculous; I would never let anything happen to her.' He told himself 'I will guard her with my life.'

A deep, wicked chuckle sounded from somewhere inside his head 'You can't always be there.'

Hiei growled 'Yes I can.' Almost daring the voice question him, but the voice lacked the fear most had after hearing Hiei voice himself.

'Then explain the vision.'

'The Jagan is not functioning properly due to lack of sleep.'

'You know what you saw.'

'I saw a figment of my minds imagination.'

'Denial won't make what you saw disappear.'

'There can be no denial if there was nothing to deny about in the first place.'

The wielder if the voice was nowhere to be seen, but the volume changed to a much higher tune.

'Admit that you know what you saw!' It bellowed.

'If I do I can not be with her!' Hiei yelled at the voice out of pure frustration and said what he was trying to hide.

Silenced hushed over Hiei's mind. He was alone. But the words ripped through him like daggers.

'I can not be with her.'

His eyes fell over the slumbering beauty laying next to him. She was an angel he…was not. An angel is not meant to be with anything less; anyone less.

'I can not be with her.'

Koenma would have his head. The fire apparition was almost positive that there was a law against two lovers from opposite side of the world joining. There always was.

'I can not be with her.'

He turned his head towards her, laid there and stared. Seconds turned to minutes; minutes turned to hours. He could not bring himself back from the thoughts; this was a decision that he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life. This was his choice alone.

Sunlight slowly creped into the dark room and rested delicately on Botan, making her skin glow into a heavenly color. The blanket laid on her shapely form and the other "useless" sheets (as Hiei believed they were) surrounding her making them look like clouds. She was truly an angel.

He was going to miss this every morning, if he went along with the plan, but the thought of loosing her at all, well that would drive him mad.

To give her up would be the end of him.

To stay with her would be the end of her.

A very unfair decision…but one that needed to be made and Hiei was going to decide. Slowly and carefully he got up from his previous position in the bed and prepared to get dressed. He was half way through getting dressed when he was pulled out of his thoughts by a girlish giggle. He traced the sound back to Botan's bed and there she was, staring at him half asleep, with a large grin plastered on her face. Her pink orbs matched the gleaming light of the sun. There was no doubt she was an angel.

An angel he swore to protect.

On the outside he seemed emotionless, but inside he was angry, confused, and unhappy.

He was never meant to experience joy.

He was never meant to be in any part of a family.

He was never meant to be with her.

"Take a shower and get dressed" He said sharply. She looked shocked. Why did he snap at her? But instead of arguing with him she did as she was told. If there was one thing she knew about Hiei it was that he always had a reason for what he said and what he did. Even if it did hurt the other person.

Finishing the belt on his pants he left for the living room, carrying his other belongings with him. He settled himself on the couch and stared at the wall, listening to the sound of the water hitting the floor of the shower.

After what seemed like hours of being lost in thought, he made his decision. It was judgment he knew he would have to make in the end, there was no avoiding it.

He was going to let her go. Let her live the life she deserved, the life he can not and could not provide. He was going to let her have a family, the one he could not care for. His past will never leave him; it will always come back to him in all shapes and severity. He was just preventing this soul from being destroyed.

He had failed to notice that the shower had stopped its repetitive pounding.

He continued with his fixated stare on the wall, wanting to be alone, when light footsteps made there way to the living room.

"Hiei?" a timid voice made itself known. His eyes quickly landed on Botan. She was wearing a pair of light blue pajamas. Her cerulean hair was loose and dripping. Her lavender eyes were filled with concern as she stared at the demon in front of her.

"What is going on?"

He broke their eye contact. A shocking first.

"Hiei?"

"Come here." he said roughly. His deep voice made her flinch as she stood tense with anticipation. Fear creep up her spine, there was something to be worried about and Hiei was making it terribly obvious.

She did as she was told. Slowly she made way to Hiei's position on the couch. There seemed to be something troubling Hiei. He seemed far more distant and cold. More importantly he never broke eye contact, unless there was something seriously wrong. He could stare down any demon and make them beg for mercy. When she settled herself on the couch next to him, he fixed his gaze at her.

His body became rigid with uncertainty as he reached for his head band. She stared utterly confused by his actions. The white cloth glided down on his lap. A large eye emerged from his forehead, watching Botan attentively.

"What are you doing, Hiei?" She wasn't sure what to make of this strange situation.

Without even battering an eyelid he told her.

"I am removing your memories of late night and any thoughts of loving me"

She couldn't believe what she hearing. The words that came out of his mouth were sinking into understanding "What? Why?!"

"I had…a vision. You died."

She was still in shock of being told that her memories where being taken away from her. She loved him, couldn't he grasp that notion? She didn't want to loose him! She wasn't going to just give up!

She was going to make him understand!

Without processing any thought as to how she was going to make him see, she flung herself at him, locking her tender lip to his.

'Please Hiei…don't do this!' She pleaded with him telepathically, in hopes that in someway he would change his mind. Her lean frame trembled with grief. She was going to loose him and there was nothing she could do.

Tears freely flowed down her cheeks. She wanted to curl up in ball and sob her heart away. Though the last thing she wanted to do was break the kiss, wishing that it would last forever.

He wasn't going to change his mind, especially if he believed that it was in the best interest of the person being protected.

Yukina was a perfect example of that.

She pulled away, needing to say her last words to him.

'I love you and always will' She opened her blood-shot eyes. "Don't you dare forget it."

Hiei's Jagan glowed and she was out cold. Laying like a rag doll in his lap. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her skull, shedding tears that had started to form. Her cheeks were red and wet from weeping. Her hair fanned out into a magnificent mess.

She was still beautiful in his eyes.

End of Flashback

The next day she bought the bathing suit, saying she was thinking about him. He was astonished.

Had she remembered?

He had gotten rid of every memory of them. It was impossible.

It, in fact, was. She hadn't remembered a thing. All she had was a dream about him and the others, mostly him.

"Hiei!" called an alluring voice.

His attention was drawn to an unearthly sound that flowed to his ears, trying to gain his attention.

His heart skipped a beat as he stared to the eyes of the speaker. She was soaked and shivering. She wore an over sized shirt that Yusuke had let her borrow. It clung well on to her wet figure. Her velvet orbs looked into his. A large smile was plastered on her heavenly face. He swiftly regained his composure and replied with his characteristic 'Hn.'

Hiei had barely noticed the sun was setting. The orange and red slowly turned into a purplish blue. Birds flocked to their homes, as evening turn into night, their calls echoed throughout the dense forest. The moment would have been tranquil if it wasn't for the girl he was trying to avoid.

His reply was to be expected. She just smiled as if she didn't have a care in the world. The darkening sky praised her every feature. They were far too different. While he hid in the dark, she flowed in the light. He slaughtered, she saved. There was a colossal division in their mentality as well, but their features, as a whole, complimented each other.

"We are heading in, would you like to join us?"

"No." He answered almost immediately.

Distance was the key if his plan was to work. Being with her got her killed. So, the farther, the better. That meant he was going to have to leave the Human world.

Possibly for good.

It was all in the name of protection.

Her pearly white smile did not falter, his reaction was expected. This was Hiei after all.

"We'll be heading inside, you're welcome to join us if, you feel like it.'

"Hn."

She turned away, heading towards the temple. Her retreating form was turning into one of the many distant shadows of the wilderness. Her usually bouncy cerulean hair was flat against her back. Small bruises could be seen around her wrists from the aggressive games Yusuke and Kuwabara were playing with her. Her shapely legs almost dragged across the floor, symbolizing her tired state.

If she turned around to look at him, he would loose it. His instincts were going against all logic. He silently thanked the oblivious girl; for she continued on her path to the temple without a second glance. This was going to be the last he would ever see her. He knew if he returned there was no way of telling what would happen. So he did the only thing he could do, remember.

The night cautiously blanketed the sky, hoping to disturb no one. Stars glistened like jewelry in a shops window. Crickets played their lullaby to the weary animals. The far-off sound of laughter could be heard with Hiei's keen hearing. Kuwabara's bellowing almost shattered his delicate ears and Yusuke's laughing could be heard shortly after. They were at it…Again.

Without any thought or hesitation Hiei was off, into the enveloping night.

The End


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