An adult rated missing scene from Packaged Goods Chapter 4 -Reservations Not Accepted. Sorry, I couldn't put it under Good at Dirty!, that would have ruined my perfect 69. I'm funny that way...
Luke Danes didn't have very many things he counted on absolutely in his life. He had lost too much too soon to believe that anything could last forever. Hell, he was a Red Sox fan. He found it much easier to brace for disappointment, than to embrace optimism. And as much as he loved his life, as much as he adored and relied on his wife and children; he also knew that in the end, it all came down to you. Still, he believed that there were certain things in life a guy should be able to count on.
There should have been alarm bells. A siren, he thought as he scrambled away from her and sat on the edge of the bed. That stupid robot waving his arms and screaming, 'Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!' would have at least made me pause, he reasoned.
"Luke?" Lorelai said softly as she sat up, placing her hand on the center of his bare back.
A siren. She was the siren, Luke thought bitterly. Luring him in, promising things she knew he wanted, offering him what he craved most, only, it was a pale facsimile of what it was supposed to be, he realized.
For a fraction of a second, he wondered if she had done it simply to humiliate him. He shook off the errant thought as he rubbed his hands over his face. "We should have just gone out for a nice dinner," Luke grumbled.
"I don't understand, what's the problem?" Lorelai said as she pushed her hair back behind her ears.
Luke turned to look at her incredulously and said, "The problem? The problem is that you're not ready."
"I am, I want this," she insisted.
Luke took a deep breath, trying not to get even more upset. He tore his eyes from her full breasts, proudly displayed in the lacy white bra, but strictly off limits to him. He curled his fingers into his fists to keep from reaching for her. "You don't want me to touch you. You won't even let me kiss you," he said as he shook his head.
"Kiss me? There was lots of kissing," she protested.
"Not that kissing, that kissing," he said as he nodded to her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach. He closed his eyes, his brow wrinkling as he remembered her urgent hands tugging on his shoulders, pulling him up over her again.
"I just feel a little self-conscious," she said defensively.
"I know that, and I understand," Luke answered quickly. "I mean, I don't really understand, because you look fine to me. Better than fine, amazing, but I know that you don't think that. I get it," he said with a nod. "What I really don't understand is why you started this if you didn't really want to," he said, his frustration creeping into his voice as he ducked his head.
"I said I wanted to. You're the one who stopped," Lorelai argued.
Luke turned to face her and said, "I stopped because I was hurting you."
"I was fine," Lorelai said dismissively.
Luke shuddered as he remembered how she had guided him to her, whispered that she was ready, and closed her eyes as he pressed forward ever so slightly. When he had hesitated, Lorelai reached around him and cupped his ass, pulling him closer still. The heat was unbearable; he could feel her, damp and inviting, teasing the sensitive tip of him. His forehead furrowed in concentration, but his eyes wide open as he moved deeper still. He saw her flinch and bite down on her lip, and froze. When she pulled harder her nails digging into his soft flesh as he resisted, she whispered, 'Please. Let's just…' And that's when he lost it.
Luke stared down at her for a moment, taking in her stubborn jaw set in determination, the deep crease of concentration between her brows, and then finally coming to rest on her eyes. The bright blue eyes that had always served as the barometer of their lovemaking were squeezed shut so tightly that he would swear he could feel every last drop of desire ebb from his body. Shaking his head, he moved quickly, pushing himself up off of her before she could react.
"You were gritting your teeth, Lorelai, and flinching. To me, that isn't fine. To me, that means you're in pain," he said adamantly.
"You didn't need to stop, I would have been fine in a minute," Lorelai conceded.
Luke released a rueful chuckle and said, "Well I didn't have a minute in me."
Lorelai frowned in confusion and said, "Well, then you should have…"
"I mean, I couldn't…" he cut her off abruptly.
"Oh," Lorelai said quietly as understanding dawned.
"Yeah, oh," Luke answered bitterly.
Lorelai thought for a moment and then touched his arm as she said, "Okay, let's not get upset. Let's talk this out."
"I don't know what there is to talk about," Luke muttered.
"Well, I don't plan on living like a monk or a nun or whatever, so I think we need to discuss this," Lorelai said gently. When Luke's back remained rigid, she rubbed his arm and said, "Babe, we both knew that it could be uncomfortable at first."
Luke's shoulders slumped forward as he quietly said, "Yeah." He glanced over at her and said, "It wasn't like that last time, though."
"No, it wasn't," she conceded. "But last time was entirely different. We were more worried about my incision, and more time had passed since they were born," she said slowly.
"Yeah," he said again.
"This was different in every way, right? I mean, there were, uh, different parts involved," she said with a nervous laugh.
"I guess I just thought that if I was careful enough…" Luke let the thought trail off unfinished.
"Oh, Babe, it's nothing you did or didn't do," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. "It's not like I wasn't excited, or you know," she said lamely.
"I don't know if I can," he admitted quietly.
"We just need to take it slow," she assured him.
Luke turned his head and said, "What can I say to convince you?"
"Convince me of what, Doll?" she asked.
"That I want you. All of you. Just as you are," he said sincerely. "I need to touch you, Lorelai," he said with quiet conviction.
Lorelai nodded and tugged at his shoulder a little as she lay back down. "Come here," she said as she patted the mattress next to her. When Luke stretched out beside her, she looked into his solemn blue eyes and said, "I gave up a nice dinner to be here with you. Why don't you see if you can make it worth my while," she said with a soft smile as she waved a hand over her mostly naked body.
Luke smirked and glanced away as he said, "Yeah, 'cause that's not adding any pressure."
"Luke?" Lorelai said, waiting until his eyes met hers again. "Kiss me."
Luke pressed his lips to hers, offering his silent apologies, which Lorelai returned in kind. She raked her fingernails through his fine hair urging him to deepen the kiss. Instead, he pulled back slightly, pressing his forehead to hers as he said in a breathy voice, "Whatever happens or doesn't happen, I call we're taking a mulligan on tonight."
Lorelai nodded and said, "We landed on Free Parking."
"A gimme," he said as he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.
"Do-overs totally allowed," she whispered.
"And encouraged," Luke added as he brushed her lips with his. "Agreed?" he asked.
Lorelai nodded slightly and murmured, "There will be no points deducted for the dismount."
"Thanks," he said wryly, and then kissed her with all that he had.
"You're a pretty safe bet," she whispered.
"I let you down," he murmured as he trailed kisses along her jaw.
"No," she hissed softly as he nipped at her earlobe. "I wasn't being a team player."
Luke drew on the soft skin just below her ear, sucking gently before he released it and blew cool air across her damp flesh. "I'll do whatever you want, Lorelai, just let me love you," he said in a husky voice. "Let me love you the way I need to. I promise, we'll be good at it," he said as he raised his head to look her in the eye.
"So good," she answered quietly. When Luke ducked his head to resume his assault on her neck, Lorelai sighed and said, "I do want you. So much. I've missed you, missed this."
"Me too," Luke murmured. He trailed the tip of his tongue along her collarbone and then let it dip into the hollow at the base of her throat. "I love you," he said softly, his voice vibrating against her throat.
"Oh, Babe, you have no idea," she breathed.
"Bet I do," he chuckled as he moved to the other side of her neck, pressing his lips to her pulse and feeling it quicken against his lips. "Gimme your hand," he ordered. When she lifted her right hand, Luke placed the back of his left hand against her palm and squeezed her fingers between his. When he looked up and saw her frowning in confusion, he gave her a lopsided smile and said, "We're gonna do this together."
"I thought that was the idea," she answered.
"All those nights, Lorelai," Luke said in a throaty voice as he lowered their joined hands to her throat and then sliding them slowly to the valley between her breasts. "All those nights, touching you, rubbing you," he breathed as he sat back, watching as her fingers stroke the soft skin along with his. "You smelled so good, you tasted, oh God, you tasted sweet," he whispered. "I wanted you so bad, I thought I'd go nuts."
"I know, me too," she answered as he traced the tops of her breasts with their fingertips.
"Now you have no idea," he retorted with a short laugh. "No matter how much of that lotion you shared, no matter how talented you are in, uh, other ways, nothing compares to being inside of you," he said gruffly. "But I'd rather it be nothing at all if that's not what you want," he told her firmly.
"I do want that," Lorelai said quickly.
"I don't wanna get it over with, Lorelai," he said quietly, his eyes following their hands as he gently traced the curve beneath her breast, feeling the weight of her pushing back at him. "I want all of you."
"I know," she whispered. "But all of me isn't what it used to be."
"I know that," Luke answered. "I was there," he said as he lowered their hands to her soft stomach. When Lorelai tensed, his eyebrows shot up challengingly, and he retreated further north once more.
"Never thought I'd say this, but I felt prettier pregnant," Lorelai said with a slight wince.
Luke rolled his eyes and then watched her closely as he closed their hands over her breast. "You're beautiful."
Lorelai smirked as she glanced down uneasily and said, "Well, you have to say that right now, don't you?"
Luke carefully moved their hands, gently running his thumb over her lace covered nipple as he said, "You know that you are."
"Luke," she said in a warning tone.
"Okay, okay," he conceded as he started to remove his hand.
"No, not that," she said quickly as she squeezed his fingers between hers to stop him.
"Then what?" he asked as he resumed his tender caresses.
"I just wish I felt as confident as you do," she said with a helpless sigh.
Luke chuckled and said, "Lorelai, trust me, I'm anything but confident at the moment."
Lorelai let her eyes fall to the evidence of his renewed vigor and said, "You look pretty confident."
"Hopeful," he corrected. "Maybe a little desperate," he added with a laugh as he raised their hands to the pillow. He closed his fingers on hers, curling them into his palm and leaned down to kiss her slowly, letting his tongue brush lazily over her bottom lip. When he pulled back slightly, his eyes searched hers as he said, "I need you with me. We need to be on the same page, or this isn't gonna work for either of us."
"I'm with you," she said as she lifted her head slightly, pressing her lips to his again.
"Trust me?" he asked in a whisper.
"With my life," she answered honestly.
Luke nodded and said, "Watch me. See how I see you." He smiled as he kissed her tenderly and then said, "You can't be trusted to know."
"Only about as far as you can throw me," she joked.
Luke shook his head at her lame attempt at humor and said, "Shh," before he silenced her with a searing kiss.
Lorelai responded enthusiastically, arching into him, and groaning softly as she felt his arousal pressing against her. She struggled to free her fingers from his, but Luke held fast until she broke away gasping, "Lemme go."
"No way," he answered, kissing her urgently again.
Lorelai finally broke away from his questing lips with a laugh and a gasped, "Luke!"
"Stop thinking," Luke growled.
"I want to start feeling. You. I wanna feel you up, do you mind?" she said as she tried to tug her hand free from his again.
"Oh. No, I don't mind," Luke answered with a grin as he quickly released her hand.
"Control freak," Lorelai muttered as she raked her nails up his spine.
Luke chuckled as he sucked on her neck and murmured, "Desperate man, remember?"
"Poor baby," she cooed as she ran her fingers through the soft curls at the nape of his neck.
"Jesus you smell good," he grumbled as he worked his way down along her bra strap, nudging it aside with his nose as he went.
"You like?" she purred.
"You know I do," Luke growled in return. He traced the lacy cup of her bra with the tip of his tongue and then pressed his lips to the fragrant valley between them. "I'm like a drunk hanging out in a bar," he rasped.
"You want?" she asked softly.
"God, you know I do," he groaned as he kissed his way down the center of her chest.
Lorelai reached up and pulled the strap that he had nuzzled aside off of her shoulder as she reached into the lacy cup with her other hand. Luke's head jerked up, his eyes fiery indigo as he watched her move the fabric aside and cup her breast. Lorelai blinked lazily as she drawled, "Come and get it."
"You know I can't," he answered in a strangled voice.
"I want you to," she said enticingly.
"I'll hurt you, I'll…" he trailed off, his eyes widening meaningfully.
"Trust me?" she whispered.
"I shouldn't," he murmured.
"Shouldn't trust me or love me, all of me?"
"Either," Luke answered. Unable to resist he pushed her hand out of the way, gently cupping her breast in his palm.
"It has a front clasp, remember?" she said with a smug smile.
Luke quickly opened the clasp, brushing the lace aside as he looked down at her and moistened his dry lips. "Not mine," he whispered to himself.
"Always yours, they're just out on loan," Lorelai answered.
Luke lowered his head, pressing his lips to the soft underside of her breast, inhaling the sweet, musky scent of her. His mouth was gentle, but firm as he kissed his way around the soft mound, studiously avoiding the beaded nipple that called to him. When it became too tempting, he distracted himself by switching to her other breast and lavished it with the same attention. Lorelai moaned low in her throat, pressing up off of the mattress as her fingers tangled in his hair, half holding him there, half poised to push him away. She didn't utter a word, but as he traced her nipple with his tongue he whispered, "I won't."
"I want," she moaned.
Luke lifted his head and asked, "You do?"
"Yes, no, both," she said breathlessly.
"A little, a lot, I'm kind of mixed up right now," she confessed.
Luke nodded and said, "Then we should wait until we're both thinking clearly."
Lorelai laughed and said, "I never think clearly when we're naked."
Luke simply looked at her, waiting patiently for her decision. Lorelai wet her lips and then glanced down, wrinkling her nose slightly as she said, "Yes?"
"Is that a yes?" he asked.
"You want to?" she asked in return.
"Yes," he answered unequivocally.
"Okay then, yes," Lorelai said with a nod.
Keeping his eyes on her face, Luke lowered his lips to her again. Opening his mouth, he traced the areola softly, feeling the skin bead against his tongue. Lorelai's lips parted with a moan laced with anticipation, as he lowered his head fractionally and drew her into his mouth. Luke sucked gently, a low guttural groan rumbling through him when moments later the sweet milk tingled on his tongue. "Oh God," Lorelai whispered as she cradled the back of his head, pressing into his mouth. "Oh God!" she gasped a moment later as she pushed him away. "Sorry, sorry," she panted.
Luke simply shook his head slowly and said, "Don't be, it's okay, it's okay." He pressed his lips to her stomach and murmured, "Tell me what it's like."
Lorelai let out a breathy laugh and said, "I don't know if I can."
"Try," he encouraged, happy to keep her distracted as he kissed his way lower and lower.
"Um, well, sensitive," she said, struggling to find words. "Intense. Erotic," she corrected. "Uh, sexual but at the same time, um, maternal. It's weird," she finished with a laugh.
"Different though?" Luke asked as he smoothed his hands over the curve of her hips.
"From nursing?" she asked. "Yeah, very different," she said firmly.
"But, the same?" Luke asked, glancing up at her as he kissed his way down her thigh.
"Yeah," Lorelai breathed as he licked his way back up the inside of her thigh.
"Bad?" he asked as he brushed his nose again the soft curls at the apex of her legs.
"No," she whispered.
"Just not too much of it," Luke confirmed.
"Yes." Lorelai raised her hips from the mattress as his warm breath rushed over her sensitive folds.
"More of this, maybe?" he asked teasingly as he nuzzled her gently.
"Please," she moaned.
"My pleasure," he said in a low voice. He touched the tip of his tongue to her, teasingly stroking the tender flesh as Lorelai parted her legs instinctively, inviting him in. "Mm hmm," Luke hummed against her as he sank into her folds, licking her with long leisurely flicks of his tongue.
"Luke," she sighed as she threaded her fingers through his hair.
Luke increased his pace, drawing her into his mouth and sucking fervently as Lorelai circled her hips, urging him on. Cradling her hip to steady himself, he pressed the tip of one finger to her entrance, waiting until he heard her telltale moan to proceed. He teased her mercilessly with his tongue, distracting her with feather soft kisses, and then driving her up with his demanding mouth as he slid his finger into the heat of her. The sensation of her warm wet walls closing around him was almost more than he could stand. He groaned against her, shooting sensation through her body and causing her to shiver with suppressed need as he began to stroke her gently. Driven by his own need, Luke devoured her with his mouth, drinking her in greedily as he felt her building.
"Now, now," she panted as she clutched at his head, pulling him toward her. Luke didn't hesitate, he moved up over her, positioning himself at her entrance as he braced his arms on either side her head. "Closer," Lorelai demanded as she tugged at his elbows. Luke complied, lowering his weight onto her, and smiling as she purred in appreciation.
Luke pressed himself closer to her, parting her cautiously and shifting slightly until he found that place where their bodies seemed to fit together naturally. Lorelai ran her hands down his back, pressing up as she silently urged him on. When he began to push into her, Lorelai tensed and flinched again, and Luke froze, closing his eyes as the conflict raged inside of him again. She lifted a hand to his cheek, staring at him intently as she caressed him. "Look at me," she whispered. When he opened his eyes, she stared into the dark blue depths and said, "We're okay, we're okay. Love me, Luke."
The muscles in his jaw tensed and jumped as he pressed forward a little more, watching her face carefully. "Okay?" he breathed.
"We're perfect. I'll tell you if we're not," she promised with a soft smile.
Luke nodded and slowly moved deeper, watching her as her body enveloped him in its welcoming warmth. "Lorelai," he breathed raggedly.
"You feel so good," she murmured as she reached up to grasp his hand.
Luke finally moved again, this time filling her with his length, but holding steady as he waited for her signal to proceed. He closed his eyes momentarily, savoring the sensation of being buried deep within her once more, and when he opened them again, he found her bright eyes simmering with moisture. "Lorelai?" he asked worriedly.
"Happy," she whispered. "Now, move, Burger Boy, or I'm gonna crawl right out of my skin," she said as she slipped her hand under his and twined her fingers in his.
Luke ducked his head, burying his face in her fragrant curls as he began to move slowly. He felt her tense and shift a little beneath him, but he was too far gone now. "Please tell me you're okay," he grunted.
"I'm okay," she answered quickly.
"I don't think I can stop now," he panted in her ear.
"I don't want you to stop now," she told him. "Oh no, don't stop now."
Luke moved as slowly as he could, resisting the urge to plunge into her, biting down on the need to fill her as he felt her building again. He focused on the soft puffs of air dancing over his shoulder, the long slender fingers curling into his back, the soft yielding body pinned under his. Anything but the heat that threatened to consume him, anything but the soft wet walls that squeezed him in a velvety vise. He heard her breath hitch, and that soft whimper at the back of her throat, and suddenly he remembered everything. He rose above her, pressing their hands into the pillow as he gazed down at her in wonder. "You're coming," he murmured.
Lorelai fought to keep her eyes open as she gasped softly and said only, "Yes."
Luke watched as the pleasure coursed through her body. His eyes devoured the pale column of her throat as she pressed her head back into the pillow and moaned loudly through lips red and swollen from his kisses. He felt her breasts, round and soft, pressed against the hard muscles of his chest, her muscles tensing as she toppled over the edge. Luke was so lost in the pink flush of pleasure that flooded her cheeks that his own body's response took him unaware. "Guh!" he grunted as he felt himself surging, spilling himself into her as he gasped for air.
"No, Lorelai," she whispered as he collapsed onto her, his ragged breathing hot against her neck. "We've met, remember?" she teased as she trailed her fingers lightly from his ass up to the nape of his neck, soothing him with long languid strokes.
Luke released a barked laugh and said, "Oh yeah." He paused to catch his breath and then said in a deep husky voice, "I remember you now."
"Thought you might," she sighed contentedly. "Of course, you know that we have to stay like this now," she said nonchalantly.
"We do?" Luke mumbled.
"Yes. I haven't been this comfortable in months," Lorelai said with a nod.
Luke snorted softly and said, "I must be crushing you."
Lorelai smiled and said, "That's the advantage of the extra padding, I can take it."
"There is no extra padding," Luke growled.
When he tried to push up on his arms, Lorelai locked her arms and legs around him, holding him in place. "Don't move," she said desperately.
"I'm too heavy," he argued.
"If you move, it'll, uh, hurt me," she lied badly.
Luke narrowed his eyes at her and said, "You suck."
Lorelai nodded as he relaxed into her again and said, "Yeah, I do. I'll show you that later."
"Bad girl," he murmured as he brushed his lips along her hairline.
"I haven't had you here in so long. I just want you right here," she told him.
"Forever?" he teased as he pressed light kisses along her eyebrow.
"And ever," she answered with a nod.
"You know, eventually, uh, things aren't going to be like this," he said dryly.
"I have faith in you," she said smugly.
Luke snorted and said, "How quickly you forget."
Lorelai shook her head and said, "That was different."
Luke shook his head and said, "I'm no kid. Hell, I'm not even sure that I could have done that when I was a kid."
"Oh, you have staying power, my friend," she said confidently.
"So you plan to just keep me here until you're ready for me again?" he asked.
"Until you're ready for me," she corrected with a grin. When he shook his head again, Lorelai's tone softened as she said, "I like you here. I need you here."
Luke kissed her forehead, and then her nose and finally her lips before he said, "No place I'd rather be." As a compromise, he pushed some of his weight onto his elbows as he continued to pepper her with tiny kisses, smoothing her hair back with his fingertips, and nuzzling her with his nose. "Sorry about the, uh, earlier," he said as he tucked his face into the crook of her neck.
"Oh, babe, you were right," Lorelai admitted. "I wanted to, but I was scared."
"I was too," he told her.
"I know," she said softly.
They lay quietly, locked together, breathing in perfect synchronization and content in the silence that blanketed their world. Finally, she said, "I feel like I should be doing something."
Luke chuckled and said, "I know."
"Sleeping or cleaning or chasing someone," she said with a smile.
"Feeding someone," Luke said with a laugh as her stomach growled loudly.
"No, not getting up," she said as she shook her head stubbornly.
"At some point someone is going to dump those nut jobs off on our doorstep if we don't claim them," Luke said with a wry smile.
"Think we can deny them?" she asked.
"Not so much," Luke answered. They lapsed back into comfortable silence for a minute and then he said, "I like them."
"Me too," Lorelai admitted with a smile.
"They're funny," Luke whispered as he rubbed his cheek against her hair.
"Yes, they are."
A moment later, he said, "I kind of miss them."
Lorelai's smile widened as she said, "Me too. We're pathetic."
Luke lifted his head and glanced at the clock. "No, pathetic would be if I picked them up now, which I am not about to do."
"Oh yeah? What's your plan?" she asked as she shifted a little beneath him.
"Well, we have about two more hours on the meter. I say, we get up, and I'll make you some eggs while you pump," he said as his plan slowly formulated.
"How did you…" she started to say.
"I can feel you," he answered. "I started something, I'm sorry," he said as he kissed her gently.
"I'm not," she answered.
"And then, after we have our eggs, we can have about a forty five minute nap," he said with a nod.
"Nap?" she asked, blinking in surprise.
"Naked nap," he amended. "That way we can do this all over again before we turn back into the pathetic parents."
Lorelai smiled as she said, "I like the way you think."
"Sound like a plan?" he asked.
"It's a plan," she agreed.
"Gonna let me up?"
"If I have to," she said reluctantly as she loosened her arms and legs.
"Permission to speak freely?" he asked.
"Granted," she said with a laugh.
"I love you, Lorelai," he said and then kissed her sweetly.
"I love you, Luke," she answered in the same hushed tone.
Luke nodded once and then said, "Okay, plan in motion," as he slowly pushed back away from her. "Okay?" he asked anxiously as she sat up.
Lorelai smirked and said, "Better than okay. Thanks, I needed that."
Luke rolled his eyes as he swung his legs off of the bed and said, "Anytime."
He pulled on a pair of boxers while she grabbed a flannel from the closet, slipping her arms into it, but leaving it open as she padded out of the bedroom and across the hall to Carly's room. "I want toast too," she called over her shoulder. "And cheese in the eggs."
"Got it," Luke answered as he started down the stairs, running his hand through his disheveled hair.
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai walked into the kitchen just as he was buttering the toast. He glanced up and said, "That didn't take long."
"I just took the edge off," she said with a shrug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her chin to his back as she said, "Smells good."
"I was gonna bring it up to you," he told her.
Lorelai stepped back and ducked under his arm, snatching a plate of food as she said, "No need," and danced away from him playfully. She plucked two forks from the drawer and offered him one before leaning back against the island and attacking her eggs with gusto.
"Work up an appetite?" he teased.
Lorelai jerked her chin at his plate and said, "Eat up. You need your protein for strength."
"Hey," he said in an injured tone.
"I didn't mean that!" she said with a laugh. "I meant for round two, Mr. Sensitive."
"Well, some things a guy gets a little sensitive about," he grumbled as he speared some eggs.
"Babe, you have no reason to worry. You are a love machine," she said as she chewed. "A virile, manly, testosterone packed monster of love," she said with a nod.
"Cut it out," he grumbled.
"It's true! Look at the evidence. You're a baby making maniac," she said as she continued to shovel it in.
Luke snorted and then choked slightly as his head jerked up. He stared at her wide eyed. "Lorelai," he said in a low, panicked voice.
"Huh?" she asked, looking up obliviously.
"Um, we didn't, there's nothing," he stammered.
"What?" she asked, her brow creasing in confusion.
"We didn't use anything," he said gruffly.
"Huh?" she asked again. "Oh," she said softly as the lightbulb went on in her head. "Oh!" she said wide eyed.
"We haven't had to for so long," he said as he set his plate on the counter and began to wring his hands.
Lorelai thought for a moment and then shook her head as she said, "What are the odds? I mean, with the nursing, I haven't even gotten a period, and even then, the fibroids…"
"But it is possible," he said quietly. "I should have thought…"
"You should have thought? You thought we were going out for dinner, remember?" she reminded him.
"It would be a long shot, right?" he said nervously.
"A very long shot," she said with a nod. She thought for a moment and then asked, "Do we have anything, uh, you know… "
Luke shrugged and held up his empty hands as he asked, "Why would we?"
"Right, right," Lorelai answered quietly.
"I'll, um get something tomorrow," he told her.
"Yeah, tomorrow," she said as she looked down at her plate of half eaten food. "It really would be, wow, such a long shot," she said with a laugh. "And just my luck," she added ruefully.
"Hmm," Luke answered noncommittally.
"Not that it would be a tragedy or anything, but man, I would really like to be able to go a year or so without someone rooting around in my whatsit," she said as she started to eat again.
"Um, yeah," Luke said as he watched her carefully.
"Except you," she said as she waved her fork at him. "You can root around in there all you want."
"Thanks," he said dryly. "What, uh, what do we do?" he asked finally.
Lorelai shrugged as she picked up a triangle of toast and said, "Nothing we can do but be more careful from now on. We'll know for sure in a couple of weeks when they do my blood tests and stuff, right?" she asked, striving for a casual tone.
"How would you feel about that?" he asked quietly.
Lorelai stopped chewed and then swallowed hard as she thought about it. "Well, it's not exactly what I envisioned," she said slowly.
"No," Luke concurred.
"I kind of thought that we were, you know," she said as she looked over at him uncertainly.
"Yeah," he answered.
"But, I guess I think that if we can beat all of those odds, it must be meant to be, right?" she told him.
"Fate," he murmured.
"Is a bugger," Lorelai finished with a rueful laugh. She tossed the uneaten crust back onto her plate and set it aside as she stepped over to him. She placed her hand on his chest and said, "The horse is out of the barn, Babe."
"Yeah," he said softly. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," she said quickly correcting him. "So, the naked nap?" she asked.
"Can be a little longer," he finished with regret laden a sigh.
"Eat your eggs anyway," she said as she nodded to his plate. "Tomorrow you turn into Trojan Man," she added with a grin.
"Don't even start," Luke said with a groan.
"No glove, no love, baby," she said as she danced away from his reach.
"Fan-tastic," he grumbled.
"Aw, come on, admit it," she said cajolingly. "You'd rather be Stretch Armstrong than the Man of Steel," she teased.
"I'll embrace the celibacy," Luke muttered.
"Really? You'd rather go without than wear your raincoat?' she asked in a shocked tone.
Luke snorted and said, "It's not the rubber that's the problem, it's the rubbing it in."
"You gonna eat your eggs, Hector?" she asked as she began to unbutton the flannel she wore.
"Hector?" Luke asked.
"Trojan guy," she answered with a shrug as she freed the last button.
"Serve you right if the horse turned out to full of warriors," he muttered darkly.
"Yes, you would be crowned king of the impregnators," she said drolly.
"To make up for my epic failure?" he asked.
"You recovered nicely," she said as she parted the shirt, giving him a clear shot, right down Main Street.
"You'd better run," Luke growled.
"Run?" Lorelai asked as she began to back away from him.
"Today, I'm still faster than a speeding bullet," Luke said as he pushed away from the counter.
Lorelai laughed as she spun on her heel and ran for the hallway, the shirt flying behind her as he strolled casually from the kitchen. When he reached the hallway he saw the flannel lying on the floor at the foot of the stairs and sprinted after her.