Your Eyes

I could see it in your eyes,

The hidden implications in your replies.

I tried to be what you wanted,

But my efforts you always daunted.

As a soldier I was ruthlessly cruel,

Unfortunately I ended up as the fool.

My temper would flare,

Gracelessly I would demolish without care.

And I thought that was what was necessary,

Yet you told me it was the contrary.

Then you said you needed me to be more gentle,

For that, for you, I needed my change to be mental.

I locked my warrior self inside,

And created another fa├žade behind which I could hide.

You wanted me for a special mission,

Something that needed time, compassion and precision.

So those qualities I added to my mask,

It became a part of me while I completed this task.

And I could see it in your eyes,

Even in your patient scolds and sighs.

After that you said you wanted the old me back,

How can that be if you told her all she lacks?

Now I am confused and have nothing to settle my mind,

Through everything in my brain I sort and rewind.

Time enough was not something granted me,

But I began to understand you more and set our future free.

I took the risk and paid the price,

My world went black and cold as ice.

I awoke to an inner plea,

You were in danger cried my entities.

They merged and became entwined,

In their mutual desire to find.

I prolonged your life for a little while,

Let you lead forward destiny another mile.

You believed you had to die,

And I will never question why.

And I could see it in your eyes,

In your approval and surprise.

Now I help protect what you died to save,

I lay roses every weekend at your grave.

Your daughter I will raise,

Seeing she gets her rightful praise.

In blood she may not be mine,

But when in need, I'm the mother she will find.

But while I could always see it in your eyes,

Didn't you, couldn't you realize?

You knew I loved you,

You must know I still do.

But was I ever enough?

Was I too soft or too tough?

Was I wrong or was I right?

Did you think of me in that last fight?

So many questions cross my mind,

So many answers I'll never find.

Now your eyes can't say it from the crypts,

And I wish that just once, I'd heard it whispered from your lips.

Icy B. Discordia

A.N. This is probably long enough to be considered an epic poem, ne? No, probably not. Well, I get started and I just keep going. First posted work so I hope it's not too bad. R/R appreciated! Arigato minna!