(AN) "Ladies and Gentlemen! Today we shall witness a truly monumental moment. Today we shall send an Emo to the moon." –points to a seething Sasuke Uchiha tied to a giant firework and yelling profanities-

"Let me go you –BEEP! -, so I can shove a Chidori up your –BEEP! -"

"No can do, Commander Duck Butt. You were unanimously chosen for this mission, not to mention we had reports that Itachi is hiding on the Moon." Sasuke thought for a moment. "Well? What are we waiting for!? Turn this thing on so I can kill 'Him'!"

"Your wish is my command, Duck Butt!" I slammed a fist into a red button, causing the rocket to launch.

"ITACHI! I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

I looked up at the trail of smoke with the masked henchman by my side. "I always wanted to press the BRB."

"BRB sir?"

"Big. Red. Button"

"Ahh…"

"Oh, before I forget." –I handed the henchman a small box- "It's for you"

Henchman opened it and took out a small blue button.

"Err, Thanks Boss…I guess"

"Its an SBB. Go ahead, press it."

-CLICK! -

-BOOOOOM!-

"…Sir, the rocket exploded…"

"I know, Itachi now owes me a beer. Happy 4th of July weekend, Henchman"

"Thank you, sir"

"Before you go, do the disclaimer, ok?" I walk back into Evil Pub & Grill™

"Booze Hound-sama does not own Naruto, but he does own a small mansion in hell."

-Chapter 2-

The Snakes, The Bugs, and…A Pet?

-Two day's later at the Konoha's Ninja Academy-

When chunin sensei, Umino Iruka, entered his classroom his mind was reeling. He just returned from the Hokage Tower, where he learned that his fellow teacher and friend, Touji Mizuki, was caught last night as he attempted to exit the tower with The Forbidden Scroll. He would have gotten away with it too, if he hadn't run into some visiting dignitary, who somehow managed to incapacitate him and alert the ANBU guards. Iruka found it strange that some politician could take down a trained chunin like Mizuki, but he decided to find out details from the Hokage-sama after announcing the genin teams.

He was surprised to find that not only was everyone already in their seats, but they were also all strangely quiet. He shrugged their weird behavior as a result of anticipation.

"Good morning and once again congratulations on passing the genin exam. As you know your teams are matched by grades to balance out. What you might not know is that they're also assembled to specialize in specific types of mission like tracking, interrogation and assassination."

At those words some of the genin started to give each other nervous looks.

"Also since this year we have an even number of graduates, one team will be short a member. Now starting with Team One..."

Iruka didn't think much of the first several teams, knowing that only three or so teams had a real chance to pass their jonin sensei's personal test. It wasn't that he doubted in their skills, but in his opinion they lacked that...spark...which real ninja had, that allowed them to push themselves further than normally possible. Iruka was brought out from his inner thoughts when he noticed that he has finally reached the teams he thought had the most potential.

"Team Seven, a heavy combat team, will be lead by Hatake Kakashi and composed of Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Inuzuka Kiba with his dog Akamaru."

Iruka couldn't help but feel bad for the young dog user. Not only was he incapable of becoming a proper Inuzuka tracker because of an unfortunate accident involving a pepper bomb, but also now he was stuck with an arrogant "Last Uchiha" and his screeching fangirl.

'He has only himself to blame for having his mother put a request him an assignment to a combat team. Well, at least he still has his dog to watch his back.'

"Team Eight will be a tracking, scouting and assassination team. Since we lack students capable of tracking this year, Team Eight will be short one member until a third member is available. Team is composed of Hyuga Hinata and Aburame Shino under...hmm, that's strange. Your sensei's name is not listed, I guess you'll find out when he or she gets here."

Iruka looked up from the list at the two members of the Team Eight. Hyuga Hinata, a short, blue haired girl with a very shy personality sitting in the back of classroom, was the heiress of the Hyuga clan, but they treated her with barely disguised hatred because of her kind nature, which was a far cry from Hyuga's usual 'Holier Than Thou' attitude. Sitting by the same table with a seat between Hinata and him sat Aburame Shino, quiet and rather secretive heir of the bug using clan. His clans practice of housing their bugs inside their bodies made it hard for him to make friends and in turn resulted in him becoming sort of outcast of their class.

"Team Nine is still in circulation from the last year. Team Ten will be..." Someone knocking on the classroom door suddenly interrupted him. "Come in!" Said Iruka. When the door opened it revealed one of the Hokages ANBU.

When Iruka asked the masked ninja about his business he got no response from him as ANBU ignored him and just stood facing the class while looking at the watch on his wrist as if waiting for something. Iruka was about to again inquire about the ANBU's reason for the visit when a large object crashed right through the classroom's window and he froze in a mind numbing terror as he recognized the person now standing on the desk in front of him.

Clad only in a skimpy fishnet, miniskirt and a tan trench coat, stood the terror of Iruka's academy day's and the woman that was feared by and desired by all male ninja in the village, from greenest genin to the Hokage himself. Anko Mitarashi, the apprentice of the treacherous Snake Summoner, Orochimaru, and probably the most sadistic woman to ever walk in the Elemental Countries. As Anko looked over the newly graduated genin like a hungry she-wolf watching a group of helpless lambs, Iruka noticed that she wasn't alone.

Sitting on top of the same desk that Anko stood on, was a boy that looked about 13 or 14 years old. His face was hidden behind a mask painted to resemble coiled snakes, which Iruka recognized as belonging to Anko from her years as a hunter-nin. His head was covered by a dark blue hood attached to a utility vest of the same color, that he wore unzipped over his bare torso revealing a silver chain with some sort of charm on it and a surprisingly well toned chest and stomach. His forearms and palms of his hands were loosely wrapped in sand colored cloth bandages with their ends tied over the bottom of his wrists leaving several inches of loose material to hang freely. He also wore cargo pants dyed in a green and brown camouflage pattern. Instead of sandals worn by majority of ninja, his feet were bare, save for basic foot wraps, while his Konoha headband was tied around his neck.

"Ah, Mitarashi-san. Just in time." The ANBU finally spoke up. "Here are the files and the permission from the Hokage that you've asked for." –he handed her a small scroll with the Hokage's seal of office on it- "Good luck with your team."

With those words ANBU shunshined away, leaving only a few leaves behind.

ANBU's departure also snapped Iruka from his terror induced paralysis and prompted him to do what all men did since the beginning of time when faced by an opponent they just couldn't hope to defeat, be it an erupting volcano, raging forest fire, or his pregnant wife's violent mood swings. He dove for cover.

The masked boy turned his face away from the class and toward Anko.

"Why do I feel that whatever is in that scroll is bad for me?" -He shook his head when Anko gave him a wide grin- "Inari-sama, what did I do to deserve a sensei like you?"

As Iruka decided to quietly disappear under his desk, Anko decided to get to the business and turned back towards he class that was now buzzing with the noise of students discussing what just had happened.

"QUIET YOU MAGGOTS! I'm here for Team Eight, so get your asses moving!" she yelled while smirking at the few genin that now shivered from the slight killing intent she released during her little announcement.

Hinata and Shino stood up and started to make their way to the front of the classroom, when Kiba Inuzuka jumped up onto his desk, after finally recovering from the nosebleed he had suffered when he saw Ankos attire.

"Oi! Team Eight is short one member, right? How about transferring me to it? You could use a real man on that team." He bragged while in his minds eye he pictured himself seeing the skimpily clad Jounin everyday.

Anko eyed him for a second and smirked before grabbing her companion and smothering his face into her chest.

"Why would I want a dirty mutt like you, when I already have a cute little fox right here?"

"Hmpf, what does he have that I don't!? He's too much of a chicken to even show us his face."

While those two bickered, most of people present were too distracted by what was happening to the masked boy to pay attention to the argument. When Jounin grabbed him he started to struggle to get free from her…affectionate…embrace, but to everyone horror, now his struggle died down and he just hung limply from Anko's arms twitching from time to time.

Anko apparently noticed his lack of movement and pulled his face out with a loud 'pop' of replaced air, and dropped him carelessly on the floor and walked over to Kiba.

"Lets see, he's better looking, smells better and-" She suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind the Inuzuka, licking a bloodied kunai, while a deep cut appeared on his cheek. "-and his blood tastes much better than yours."

Suddenly Kiba shivered and Anko scrunched her nose before jumping away. "And apparently unlike you, he's house trained." All the other students made disgusted faces and moved away from the shivering dog boy as the meaning of what strange Jounin said got to them.

Anko looked at the two conscious members of her team.

"Wake Foxy up and get him to lead you to the Training Area 44. I expect you there in 20 minutes or else…" She left the threat hanging as she disappeared with a shunshin.

Class was silent like a grave when suddenly the supposedly unconscious 'Foxy' spoke up from where he was laying motionless on the floor.

"Is she gone?"

Hinata and Shino looked at the boy lying at their feet and nodded.

"A-ano…Foxy-san…a-are you a-all right?" Hinata asked concerned.

'Foxy' jumped back up on his feet, grabbed her and Shino and started to drag them towards the class doors.

"We don't have time for this! Training Ground 44 is outside the city walls! If we want to make it on time we've got to go, NOW! "

After another minute Iruka climbed out from behind his desk hoping that Anko won't notice him, when he suddenly felt an arm embrace him from behind just as another started to rummage inside his pants.

"Ohh, Ruka-kun! You thought that I would leave without saying hi? You're such a naughty boy…"

That was too much for poor chuunin as he broke out from Anko's hug and bolted through the open doors screaming like a little girl. Anko's shadow clone looked at the cloud of dust he left behind.

"Hah, I still got it!" She laughed and disappeared in a 'poof' of smoke.

-20 minutes later by the main gate leading into the Training Ground 44-

"All right kiddies! Here's the deal; normal teams at this moment would try to get to know their teammates. But we're not a normal team! In my book 'normal' means 'boring' and I won't train a boring team!"

Anko stood with her hands on her hips and looked over the three teens lying on the ground in front of her trying to catch their breath after a 20-minute-long mad dash to the meeting place…well two of them were. 'So Foxy has a lot of stamina, eh? Good, he'll need it all for the training I have in mind for the three of them.'

"But before we start to do anything, you two have to make a decision."

Shino and Hinata looked at her with a confused look on their faces. Or at least Hinata did, only reaction she got from Shino was a gently raised eyebrow.

'I guess I should be happy to get that much of a reaction from him…stupid Aburame and their stupid logic'

"The decision you have to make is whether to join this team or not" Hinata now looked completely lost while Shino now raised both his eyebrows. 'Both eyebrows!? I must be setting some sort of record!' Anko chuckled softly.

"Allow me to explain." She walked over to 'Foxy' and stood next to him. "You see, the reason Foxy and I were put on the same team, is that no one else would put up with us, either from fear, distrust, or both." From her equipment pouch Anko pulled out the scroll she received from ANBU and from it unsealed two thick folders with her name and picture on the fronts. "Those are all the files about me that you two could be allowed to read." She handed Hinata and Shino one each before looking at her 'partner'. "Your turn, and give me back the mask."

'Foxy' nodded and smoothly jumped to his feet, simultaneously pulling off his hood revealing spiky blond hair, with crimson bangs framing his face and the bottom half of his hair on the back of his head pulled into a long, crimson ponytail, reaching to just between his shoulder blades. At that point Anko seemed to exhaust her meager reserves of patience and simply ripped the mask off his face. Something that got a rather loud reaction from the blonde.

"GODDAMMIT! That hurt you crazy snake-woman!"

Anko only looked at him with a feigned innocence. "What? What did little ol' me do?"

While their possible teammate and sensei argued, Shino and Hinata took time to finally get a look at the Foxy's face. They saw a trio of lines on each of his cheeks, resembling whiskers, and a pair of blue eyes, which now seemed to be clouded by anger.

"You known damn well what you did! Those masks attach themselves with chakra and it can cause a chakra backlash when you rip it off like that!" Foxy kept yelling at Anko, who by then seemed more bored than anything.

"But it didn't, so nothing happened, right? Now introduce yourselves or I'll really hurt you this time." The last words didn't sound like a threat to the genin…more of a promise.

Foxy swallowed hard and turned towards the young Hyuga and Aburame.

"My name's Naruto no Youko and I'm a-

-SLAP! -

"WILL YO STOP HITTING ME!"

Anko only glared back at him and said.

"You forgot the genjutsu"

Naruto blinked in surprise. "I did?"

"Yup."

"Oh…" He turned back toward his teammates while putting his fingers in a ram seal. "And I'm a" –POOF! - "a kitsune demon"

Hinata's eyes widened when the dispelled genjutsu revealed a pair of golden fox ears on Naruto's head and two long golden foxtails with silver tips flailing behind him. His eyes now sported slit pupils unlike earlier when they were normal. Surprisingly enough it was Shino who displayed he strongest reaction to the newest revelation.

-Thud-

"Did…did Shino just faint?" Naruto crouched next to the prone form of the other boy to check if he was still alive. Anko stood next to him, also looking quite surprised.

"That's weird, I expected this kind of reaction from Hinata, not from Mr. I-Pwn-You-With-Logic." She said pointing towards Hinata who was looking at Naruto with a strange look on her face. "Hey, Princess! You in there? ...Great, now I have a fainted Aburame and a shell-shocked Hyu-"

"KAWAII!"

"Uff!"

Anko was prepared for all the reactions to a demon that a girl could have, she was ready for her to cry, to run away, to scream bloody murder, she was even prepared for Hinata to try and kill him (as unlikely as that was). But she was completely and utterly unprepared for the sight that met her eyes when she looked back at where she heard the young kitsune's pained grunt coming from. Had she anticipated that reaction she would have certainly brought with her a camera...or two.

There was Hinata, probably the shyest kunoichi to ever graduate from Konoha's Ninja Academy, sitting on Narutos back and scratching his ears with a look of total enjoyment on her smiling face. As if that wasn't enough, not only wasn't Naruto resisting but he seemed to lean his head closer to her hand like some sort of lazy humanoid cat. Several minutes later when Anko finally managed to get her laughter under control, and Shino to awaken, although Hinata refused to get off of Narutos back (not that he minded), the Jounin looked over the three Genin with a wide grin on her face.

"You know what you three? Forget the question. You're just too much fun for me to let you get away. I declare that Team 8 meets my criteria for a successful team! Meet me here tomorrow at 10 AM. You can bring your gear, but we'll spend most of the time on getting to know each other. Also don't forget to return those folders tomorrow. Team dismissed!"

Editing Note. 7/7/2009

I was asked to change the formatting of this chapter to make it easier to read. While I did so I also took the opportunity to add some small details that slipped my attention earlier. Also I would like to thank all the people who have reviewed/alerted/faved this story, even those of you whose review consisted of less than 5 words. There was even a review that consisted of only half a word…if a normal reviewer is like a bottle of booze with "100 percent proof" written on its label, then you have got no proof…only circumstantial evidence.

Booze Hound signing out (and retreating to he wine cellar)