Ok, So I started reading the Twilight Series because I saw the first trailer for the movie in august. I inhaled the series in less than a week, and pretty much was obsessed. Since then, I'm pretty sure I've read each of the books 3 times, and I was so excited by the up and coming Midnight Sun novel. When the leak came out on the internet and Stephenie Meyer posted it on her website and said she was going to take a hiatus from continuing it, I could totally understand how violated she felt. So being pathetically desperate for another hit of my twilight fix ( I truly relate to the 'You're my kind of heroin' remark!) So I took things into my own hands an decided to continue on writing it on my own. So I want to give credit to Stephenie Meyer, being that I followed along with her novel. She has inspired me to pick up the pen (or Laptop) and write again. She has been inspirational to me and I don't think I could ever repay that. So here it is. The beginning of my very first fanfic. It begins where Stephenie's pages left off.

Enjoy and review it for me! Thanks!

Jessica

Midnight Sun

I waited outside in the trees that night, waiting for a sign that she was asleep. When I was sure all was still, I stealthily scaled the wall to her window. I slid in through the window ever so carefully and into the rocker in the corner. She lay there, still, motionless. If I hadn't have been able to hear her heart fluttering, I would swear she was dead. She didn't talk in her sleep tonight. How I wished she would though. I longed to hear her say my name. I leaned back in the rocker and quietly hummed the lullaby I had composed. The lullaby I wrote for her. Bella's Lullaby. I examined the stack of CDs next to the almost ancient boom box in the corner. I was surprised to find a very eclectic mix of classical and modern rock. Either she had gone to bed late or the dawn broke all too soon. I slipped back from which I came, into the haze of dawn.

I ran home, the trees and moss merely a green streak in my peripheral. I quickly changed my clothes and made my way to the garage. In a hurry? Alice directed at me and smiled smugly. I hope you enjoyed your night. I smirked back at her and continued out to the garage. I fully expected to see my Aston Martin dissected on the floor. Rose was avoiding me like I had a disease. But I didn't care. It saved me from her shallow self absorbed thoughts for a while. Surprisingly, my prized car was still in immaculate condition. I slid into the Volvo and started up the engine. I listened to it purr as I selected the perfect CD. I wondered for a moment, what did she like? I know Debussy seemed to be a great starting point, but I could not wait to know more about her. I slung a copy of Debussy piano music into the player, cranked the heater, and headed towards her. As my car approached the house I saw the police cruiser parked along the brick drive. I slowed my car to what felt like a crawl, threw it into reverse and backed into a small clearing in the woods. I could hear the Chief asking Bella about her trip to Seattle. I could tell by his tone, he didn't like her going alone. Little did he know her plans had since changed. I heard the door close on the cruiser and the engine come to a roar and pull away. My car sprang to life and crept up the path into the cruisers parking spot. I saw the curtains move in the top left window of the house. My throat was already smoldering with the anticipation of Bella. I heard the front door of the house close. She was coming. I could hear her heart fluttering already. Fluttering with anticipation I hoped. I turned to watch her open the door, a smile crept across my face. She was a vision in brown. It complimented her warm eyes, and her bouncing brunette hair.

"Good Morning." I said to her. "How are you today?" I studied her face trying to read her like a book. Her face turned a soft pale pink. I could hear her heart flutter faster as she slid into the passenger seat.

"Good, thank you." She said with a hint of excitement in her voice. She smiled sweetly at me and I noticed the small bags under her eyes. She must have been up later than I had thought.

"You look tired."

"I couldn't sleep," she confessed. This was quite the opposite scene I had observed when I was in her room.

"Neither could I." I teased her as I started up the engine.

"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did." She quipped .

"I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?" she asked me innocently. I chuckled to think what she would think if I told her I spent my night in her room watching her chest rise and fall, her hair fan out across her pillow, taking in her addicting perfume. But it wasn't her turn to ask questions, it was mine.

"Not a chance, it's my day to ask questions."

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" She asked, inviting me into her open book. Little did she know, I wanted to know it all. I wanted to know about everything that made her Bella.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked her, waiting, watching for her petal pink lips move in response.

"It changes from day to day." She replied as she rolled her eyes at me. Was my question offensive to her? Did she think me to be juvenile?

"What's your favorite color today?" I asked again trying to keep my composure.

"Probably brown."

"Brown?" Why brown? It seemed like such a dull color. Mundane, the color of dirt. This girl continued to puzzle me with every reply. If I could only get into her head.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown – tree trunks, rocks, dirt – is all covered up with squashy green here." Squashy stuff. Her little euphemisms made a smile creep across my face. She made a valid point. Brown was a color that was supposed to be all around, but in turn was covered nearly everywhere with vast shades of green carpeting. She was very observant, this human girl was. After all she discovered me for what I am.

"Your right," I conceded. "Brown is warm." I looked into her warm brown eyes and reached over with my hand and moved her long brown hair from her shoulder. Her beauty was breathtaking to me. Oh, how I wanted to touch her more. But I still needed to watch myself carefully, so as not to slip up.

We reached the school parking lot and I pulled into a space. "What music is in your CD player right now?" I asked her, fully knowing the answer and feeling slightly guilty about it, but hoping for a reason to the diverse subject matter.

"Linkin Park." She answered looking slightly embarrassed. I smirked at her knowing that I had planned ahead for this and already added the CD to my collection in the car. I flipped open the CD compartment in the dash and produced the exact CD and handed it to her, careful not to touch her skin with my ashen cold hands.

"Debussy to this?" I teased. I turned off the engine and exited the vehicle. I crossed the front of the car to open her door but she was much too quick for me. We crossed the parking lot and I continued to quiz her about every aspect of her life. I wanted to know everything. What made her tick? What made her heart race? I walked her to class. Hearing peoples thoughts as we walked down the hall together. Jessica Stanley and her backstabbing thoughts, she isn't really that pretty, and Mike Newton, I don't know what she sees in Cullen but I bet I could kick his ass. It took all my strength not to tear him limb from limb. I went through the daily motions anticipating seeing her again. I couldn't wait to hear what she had to tell me next. I waited for her outside her Spanish class to take her to lunch. When she exited the classroom her delicious smell overwhelmed my senses. My throat burned for her. The burn was so sweet. As I escorted her down the hall to the cafeteria I began my incessant questioning again. "Favorite movie?" I asked.

"Well, I don't really have a favorite movie. I just kind of watch what I'm in the mood for." She answered. We proceeded through the lunch line, further perpetuating the lie that I could stand to eat the garbage they served to us. We made our way to our usual table. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice continued to sit away at another table. I quickly scanned their thoughts. Rosalie and Jasper were still unconvinced. Emmett was still waiting for me to go for her jugular. Alice is still begging to come over and introduce herself. She could be awfully annoying for someone so small. But I wasn't ready to share my Bella yet. My Bella.

"What's your favorite gemstone?" I prodded once more. Perhaps it could lead to acquiring a gift that would accent her beauty.

"Topaz," she responded quickly while turning an impeccable shade of crimson, sparking my curiosity. Why would she be embarrassed over that?

"Tell me," I commanded curiously.

"It's the color of your eyes today," she sighed. "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." I didn't know what to say to that. It was the utmost form of flattery and she was dazzling me much as she said I dazzled her.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?" I solicited. Perhaps I would fill her room with the most fragrant flora I could find. Maybe it would flatter her the same way she had just flattered me.

"The kind that doesn't make us late for Biology." She answered coyly, smirked and gathered her things. I collected the tray and deposited in the trash as we headed out the door towards biology. Again I deeply inhaled her sweet fragrance. It hurt so good. I continued quizzing her until Mr. Banner turned off the lights. Finally I had to slide my chair away from her. I was feeling my control slipping. The appeal was increasing. I gripped the side of the table. Carlisle had to be a saint for withstanding the temptation everyday. But it wasn't the temptation to taste her; it was the temptation to touch her with my ice cold hands. To hold her warm hands in mine, to press my lips against hers. But this was temptation I didn't need. I was afraid I would lose all self control. I still didn't trust myself. I could tell it was killing her as well. She glanced at me uncomfortably, left her hand available on the table top in case I changed my mind. When she realized that I wasn't going to change, she uncomfortably adjusted herself and finally rested her chin on her arms. I hated to reject her advances but I was afraid what might happen if I didn't. I gripped the edge of the table hard I felt the wood start to give way and turn to powder in my fingers. Her scent was intoxicating. It burned my nose and throat. In the darkness of the room it was hard to focus on much else. I needed to hang on for the hour. I had the will; I just had yet to master the way.

I was relieved when Mr. Banner flicked the lights on. I looked over at Bella. Her milky white skin had a hint of pink in her cheeks. How easy it would be to let myself go. To go against everything Carlisle stood for and take her. My throat was on fire now. I had to get away. I would escort her to gym and make a break for it. It felt like I was trying to run from her again. I could never decide whether to run from her or to her. It would be best for her if I ran away, but she had a gravitational pull I could not get away from. It was as if she was the sun to my solar system. I rose to my feet and waited for her to take her leave and I followed her out the door. I strolled with her in silence to the gym. I had so many more questions to ask her, but was truly afraid of taking a deep breath in her presence. When we reached the double doors, she turned to look at me as if she was going to say something. I couldn't resist her any longer, I had to touch her. I gazed into her eyes and carefully traced her face with the back of my hand. With that I quickly took my leave. I needed fresh air. As much as I cared for her, her scent injured my fragile grip on reality. I reached my Spanish class and took a deep cleansing breath. The fire seemed to extinguish with her gone. But I found myself longing for the burn like it was an addictive drug. It was becoming a good kind of burn. I sat next to Emmett and pretended like I was listening to the lecture.

Haven't fallen of the wagon yet? Emmett thought. I rolled my eyes at him. I don't understand how you're managing man. I'd be under the wagon by now. I continued trying to ignore Emmett, pretending to be focused on the class at hand.

I lingered outside of the gym for Bella, waiting to find out if she had maimed anyone with a shuttlecock or racquet today. I was hoping Mike might have walked out with a black eye courtesy of Bella's lack of coordination. No such luck however as Mike exited the gym without any visible injuries on his body. His thoughts were callous and crude. I could have inflicted a few injuries of my own if she hadn't walked out the door. I met her with a wide smile. How I loved to see her stunning face and how it lit up when she saw me and hear how I sent her heart a flutter. I was ok again. I felt like learning more about her, then maybe I would finally be able to hear her thoughts.

"What do you miss about Phoenix?" I asked her.

"My mom mostly," she answered me back.

"Not the sun or the heat?" I questioned. I figured this would almost certainly be one of her answers.

"No, I think I've found something better than the sun and warmth here," She replied, meeting my gaze and giving me a bright smile. We got into the car and I continued to ask her questions about Phoenix and her mother and Phil. We parked in her driveway for hours as I gathered as much information as I could about her.

"Are you finished?" She asked me half mocking me in the process.

"Not even close – but your father will be home soon." I reminded her, sadden by the thought of leaving her.

"Charlie! How late is it?" she asked amazed that we had spent so much time talking. "How late is it?"

"It's twilight," I muttered. I didn't really want to let her go. "It's the safest time of the day for us" I replied. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of one day, the return of night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I smiled at her.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." She countered and frowned. "Not that you see them much here anyways." Her sad puppy eyes and pouty lips made me chuckle. It was childish and sweet. I wanted to move the clouds for her so she could watch the stars.

"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…" I harassed her, hoping she would say yes. Charlie knowing about us would give me encouragement to be on my best behavior.

"Thanks, but no thanks," she replied as she gathered her things. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" I tormented her. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?" I grinned. I couldn't imagine ever being done with her. I felt like I hadn't even touched her surface.

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." I answered, mockingly. I could hear her heart take off as I reached across her to open her car door and I inhaled a little. My hunger was becoming immune to her floral bouquet. The fire in my throat smoldered as I grabbed the door handle. "Not good." I said aloud as my jaw clenched.

"What is it?" She asked with a concerned look creeping across her face.

I looked into her eyes and glumly said "Another complication." I wanted to press my chilly lips on hers, run my fingers through her auburn hair, and trace her features with my fingers. Control yourself Edward, I thought to myself. I flung the door open for her. I didn't want her to go but Charlie was getting near. I recoiled quickly to save her from myself. Headlights from the road flashed through the rain. "Charlie's around the corner," I warned her. She hopped out quickly, examining the vehicle parked by the curb. I looked at the other vehicle and was not pleased by what I saw. It was time to leave and leave expeditiously. I felt bad leaving the way I did, but I had to go. I revved my engine and squealed my tires out of there. I would see Bella later in the evening. I had to get away from the Queluetes as quickly as I could. I headed towards home; the car was going so fast it felt like it was gliding on the rain.

I wondered what they would tell Bella about me. Nothing she didn't already know I'm sure. I wasn't worried about Bella revealing our secret either. Would they tell the Chief? If they did he would most certainly keep her from me and we would have to leave again. I couldn't leave her. She was becoming a part of me. I wanted to turn back, to sit outside and listen, but I knew I could trust Bella. Besides, I needed to go home, check in with Carlisle and Esme. I know they were concerned with the amount of time I was spending with Bella. I didn't need to read their thoughts to know that. My car slowed as I pulled up the sheltered drive. I parked my car in the garage and wandered into the house, my thoughts with Bella and her sweet smell lighting bonfires in my gullet. I swept into the house and placed myself in front of the piano and began to play the lullaby that I was becoming so fond of. This girl was becoming my muse and her lullaby my theme. It was becoming all I could hear when she was around. Welcome home. I heard Alice. Did you have a nice day with Bella? I nodded to her. Your song is beautiful. She'll love it. Little know it all, but I hoped she was right. Esme floated down the stairs towards me. She slid next to me on the piano bench and began to lightly tickle the ivories along with me.

"Edward," she said. "My son, I'm so glad to see you are so happy again. However, I have one request."

"Yes Esme?"

"Bring her home to meet us." She asked implored. "If she means the world to you, I promise you she means the world to us."

"I will, when the time is right." I promised her. "I know she will love you too."

"Just don't wait to long." Esme said as she got up and kissed the top of my head. As she exited the room I tried to imagine what it would be like to bring Bella to our home. What would she think of us? Would it become reality to her that we don't spend our evenings in a bed, or that our dining room table was never eaten at. It was a chance I was going to have to take eventually. I continued to play until Emmett and Jasper came traipsing through the room. What a puppy, Emmett mocked me in silence. To think letting a human girl ruffle his feathers! Jasper was more mindful of his thoughts, which probably weren't very pleasant towards me, I 'm sure.

"We're going hunting," Emmett extended an olive branch. "Wanna come?"

"I would," I accepted. After all I was going to need all the strength I could get to spend all day Saturday with Bella. Plus it would give me the opportunity to talk to Jasper. I got up from the piano and followed them out the door. Soon the world around me was a blur as we flew through the woods.

"Smell that?" Emmett froze. "Grizzlies." A smile crept across his face.

"Wait, let's talk about this." I beseeched them. "I know you're angry with me, but you know I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have here. I would never put any of you in danger."

"What's going on here Edward?" Jasper began. "Why is this human girl, so important to you? Why can't you just walk away? She knows what we are now. What's to stop her from outing us?"

"She wouldn't do that."

"But how do you know?" he replied. "She isn't one of us. What happens when we have to move again? What happens if there's an accident? Think with your head Edward! This isn't safe!"

"I know!" I admitted with frustration in my voice. I paused, collecting myself and my thoughts before I began again. "I know. Don't you think that I've tried to stay away? Don't you think I know it isn't safe for her to be with me? I don't know what it is about this girl. Her scent infiltrates my defenses. It singes me like no fire ever could. It takes everything that I have to keep myself under control. Do you know how that feels? Have you ever smelled a scent so tempting, so enticing…" I broke off. I was embarrassed. How could I explain it to Jasper and Emmett? I could hear Jazz thinking about what I said. I feel that temptation everyday. Finally, someone else. He thought. I felt guilty for putting this on him. He was the newest member to our family and dealt with the most temptation. But he seemed to understand.

"I understand that you don't feel as strong as usual, but I can't relate to the feeling. I don't think I've ever felt that. And if I had, I probably would ruin it for us all." Jasper countered my poor me speech.

"I've been there. Well, not quite there." Emmett cut in. "I was hunting once. It was a long time ago, before Jasper and Alice joined us. Back when we were in Virginia, Minnesota. I was surrendering to my senses, tracking a moose that had become separated from its pack. As I was running I crossed the most seductive trail I had ever smelled in my entire existence. I'll never forget it. It smelled of apples and apple blossoms. So I followed it. I shouldn't have, but I let myself be curious. I came across some hikers. There were 3 of them, two men and a woman." The tone of his voice changed. It got quieter, more of a hushed tone as he continued. "I watched them from a distance, trying to decipher where the unbelievable aroma was coming from. As I observed, I realized it was the woman. I watched and waited. I couldn't break away. I realized they were lost and a little disoriented. So I waited for dark. Once they had settled in and began to fall asleep I took a chance. I slipped into their camp, snapped both men's necks in less than 5 seconds and took her for my own. I'm not going to get into the details of it all, but it was by far the best and worst experience I've ever had." He looked down at his feet. "I've never been so ashamed of myself." Emmett's voice washed out. He was still ashamed of his actions. But I could tell how much he truly enjoyed it. I could almost taste the blood lust in his mind. How her blood sang only for him. How it called his name with every pulse. I felt sorry for his anguish. "Grizzly," Emmett snarled and escaped into the woods.

"I think I love her." I blurted out. Did that just come out of my mouth? Was it true? Of course it was true. I wouldn't have said it otherwise. "And besides, Alice doesn't see it going that way. She told us that they would be friends. Plus Bella hasn't sold us out by now, she won't do it."

"You really care for her?" Jasper questioned me. "Would you sacrifice yourself for her?"

"I would," I said with confidence.

"Then take my blessing," he approved. "But don't sacrifice us for her in the process."

"I would never." I assured him and shook his hand.

"Awe! Are you two going to kiss and make up now?" Emmett taunted from a hiding place among the bushes. Jasper and I crouched to an attack stance. No sooner did he emerge, we used the opportunity to pounce on him. When the light was completely beneath the horizon and our thirst was quenched, I was ready to see Bella again. I ran to her with out stopping; driven by a force greater than I could have ever imagined.

I spent many nights in her room watching her slumber. Tonight was no different than the rest. I watched her toss and turn, kicking her covers off in the process, then ever so carefully tucking her back in careful not to touch her and wake her with my frigid fingers. Boy, that would be a fun one to explain. I thought to myself suppressing a chuckle. I was getting more daring however. With each night I found myself getting closer and closer to her bed. Tomorrow was Friday. One more dreaded day of high school, then I would hunt again, so as to be extra prepared for Saturday. I slipped out her window at dawn and darted home, ready for my Bella fix.

I waited for the police cruiser to pull out before I parked in the driveway. I rolled the windows down and killed the engine. My throat ached in anticipation. With the windows down her fragrant freesia scent would reach me sooner, but also be less intense. Mind over matter, Edward, I told myself. I didn't look to see the door of the house open, as soon as she stepped out, her scent overtook me. My esophagus exploded instantly into flames. I inhaled her enthralling aroma with my eyes closed for a minute, turning to see her comfortably climb into the passenger seat. I couldn't help but smile at her. I could hear her heart fluttering for me. She stared back at me for a moment, watching and waiting. "How did you sleep?" I asked her.

"Fine. How was your night?" She inquired.

"Pleasant," I spoke as my secret slumber parties caused me to smile at her again.

"Can I ask you what you did?" She was curious.

"No," I taunted with a wider grin. Sure, I sneak into your room every night just to watch you sleep and listen to you say my name. I'm not that stupid. "Today is still mine." I asked her more questions about her family, mostly about her mother. I wanted to know about her life before Forks. Finally, I asked her about her old boyfriends. Not that I truly wanted to know, but yet a part of me did. Heaven help them if they hurt her. The conversation did not last long. She hadn't dated anyone of any consequence, and turned a gorgeous shade of pink when she talked about it.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" I asked, concerned I might be on the list, long or short.

"Not in Phoenix," She answered coyly looking down to her feet then up to my face for a reaction. I shouldn't have wanted her to want me, but I did. I wanted her to want me more than any other, because that's how much I was beginning to want her. What was I getting myself into? What was I getting her into? We found our usual table in the cafeteria and sat down, sharing the same tray as always.

"I should have let you drive yourself today." I awkwardly replied. I didn't know how to answer her, so I found it best to avoid the question all together.

"Why?" she demanded.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

"Oh," she said in a disappointed tone. I felt horrible disappointing her, but I needed to hunt. "That's ok, it's not that far of a walk."

Did she really think so little of me? "I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me," She sighed still disappointed. "I really don't mind walking." Like I would make this fragile creature walk! She would probably cross a street, trip on a rock, and Tyler Crowley would finish the job this time. I just shook the thought out of my head.

"Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition – unless you're afraid someone might steal it." I chuckled at the thought of someone trying to speed away in her jalopy. They'd hit the freeway running, at a top speed of 55 mph.

"Alright," she agreed, pressing her lips together in a smug, don't taunt me, smirk. "So where are you going?"

"Hunting," I responded. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." I paused. I should leave now. Go far away to keep her safe. I needed to give her an out. "You can always cancel you know," I pleaded with her. She looked away from my gaze. Like she was about to admit I was right. I held my breath, waiting for her to break my already stone cold heart.

"No," She whispered, looking me in the eyes with out fear. "I can't." I was glad she said that but I also feared for her safety.

"Perhaps you're right," I mumbled with a hint of worry in my voice.

She quickly changed the subject before I could change my mind again. "What time will I see you tomorrow?" She asked.

I thought about it for a second. "That depends… it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?"

"No." She answered before I could even finish my sentence. She was so earger to see me it was flattering and made me smile.

"The same time as usual then," I decided. "Will Charlie be there?" I was hoping he would be. It would give me good reason to make sure I brought her home safe. It would keep the monster at bay.

"No, he's fishing tomorrow." This made me worry again. The monster in me cheered.

My voice became harsh and sharp. "And if you don't come home what will he think?" I was becoming nervous.

"I have no idea," she replied. "He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer." She joked. This was not a time for humor. Part of me hated that she did not fear me. She did not understand the danger she was putting herself or my family in. I scowled at her and she scowled right back. She was less than intimidating, in fact it was kind of cute how hard she tried.

"What are you hunting tonight?" She asked as she dropped her scowl.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?" She inquired.

"Alice is the most… supportive." I said less than enthused.

"And the others?" She asked timidly. "What are they?"

How would I answer that with out hurting her feelings? I furrowed my brow as I thought about how I would answer that. "Incredulous, for the most part." She looked over her shoulder at my family. None of them looked directly at her, pretending to mind their own business. But I could see them plain as day, and more importantly hear them too.

"They don't like me," She spoke softly.

"That's not it," I disagreed with her. She was wrong, well mostly wrong. Rosalie didn't like her, and Jasper and Emmett had become indifferent yet they just couldn't understand. Alice loved Bella. Alice was dying to come over to the table, sit down and strike up a conversation. Alice could see Bella in our lives, in my life, and she understood it better that I did. "They don't understand why I cant leave you alone."

"Neither do I, for that matter," she said. As if she didn't know. How could she not see herself the way I did. She was so unselfish and kind, her inner beauty reflecting in her appearance. I rolled my eyes in her direction, trying to hide my frustration with her self image.

"I told you- you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me." I spoke as my eyes made contact with hers and I smiled at her. She glared back at me. I wished I knew what she was thinking. "Having the advantages that I do, I have a better grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise." She looked away from me. Had I embarrassed her? Or was I just upsetting her? I had to try to clear up the miscommunication. "That part is easy enough to explain," I continued, tracing her face with my eyes, hoping for some sign of her feelings. "But there's more… and it's not so easy to put into words." My voice trailed off. I noticed her looking back at my family now. I could sense Rose now. She glared coldly at Bella, meeting her gaze. She's not one of us and you're going to ruin all that we have by killing her. She's going to ruin everything. She's not worth this. Stupid human. She'd have been better off dead. I glared back at Rosalie, letting a deep hiss escape from my gullet. Rose looked away and I could tell Bella was relieved. Bella looked back at me, with confused and worried eyes. I needed to comfort her.

"I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see… it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" My voice trailed off again as I thought about the two outcomes Alice had seen. Bella's blood red eyes and glistening pale cold skin. Though I was sure she'd be a beautiful addition to our family, I would not allow that to happen. I could not allow that to happen. I would not take her soul from her. I would not condemn her to my hell. Or Alice's alternative vision, Bella's lifeless body and my eyes, no longer gold but ruby. Neither would happen it would be mind over matter. The idea of these visions depressed me. I looked down to the floor avoiding her gaze, afraid to see fear in her eyes as she left that table and me forever.

"If?" Bella questioned.

"If this ends … badly." I added resting my head into my palms. Why was I doing this to her? Why would I even give this situation the chance to end badly? I should leave for this hunting trip and never come back I thought to myself. I sat quiet, waiting for her reaction. I couldn't look her in the face. I was waiting for her shock to wear off. I listened to her heart beating. I would not be the one to end that wonderful flutter. I heard her heart rate increase as she reached for my hand. Though it was a noble try, she gave up before she reached me, knowing I would retract my hand. I'm coming Edward, I heard Alice project to me.

"And you have to leave now." She said in a low disappointed tone. How could she be disappointed? Why couldn't she seem to understand the magnitude of this situation? Most people would be running for their lives, calling the local news, and never looking back. This girl, still wanted to hold my hand, fully knowing that I could end her life in a single minute.

"Yes," I told her. Not really wanting to leave her, but knowing I had to go if I wanted to continue to be around her. "Its probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left in Biology – I don't think I could take anymore." I could hear Alice approaching. Her light, pixie footsteps glided silently and gracefully closer. Bella's eyes were still locked on me when Alice reached my shoulder and startled Bella. "Alice," I greeted her.

"Edward," She greeted cheerfully with a smile. Introduce me! She shouted at me.

"Alice, Bella – Bella, Alice," I introduced them pacifying Alice.

"Hello, Bella." Alice chimed with a large grin on her face. "It's nice to finally meet you." It's about time Edward. We're going to be best friends. I glared at her with a serious tone.

"Hi, Alice," Bella replied shyly. I could tell she was unsure of how genuine Alice's feelings about her were. If she only knew what Alice knew.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked me, with a sly smirk on her face. Let me hang out for a little while Edward, I just want to talk to her.

"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car." I dismissed her request. With a small smile and a elegant turn Alice strode out of the cafeteria. I'd hear about this later.

"Should I say 'have fun', or is that the wrong sentiment?" Bella asked me with a coy chuckle.

"No. 'Have fun' works as well as anything." I grinned at her. I liked it when she challenged me.

"Have fun, then." She told me, trying not to sound too disappointed that I was leaving her.

"I'll try. And you try to stay safe, please." I implored her. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her while I was away. I would have to make it a quick trip.

"Safe in Forks – what a challenge." She teased me.

"For you it is a challenge." I was more serious now. "Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," she recited to me. "I'll do the laundry tonight – that ought to be fraught with peril." She mocked me.

"Don't fall in," I mused. She sure knew how to melt my icy heart.

"I'll do my best." She offered. I stood to leave and she stood with me. "I'll see you tomorrow," she sighed sadly. She was acting like it would be an eternity before we would meet again, let alone eighteen hours. This made my mind spin. I wondered if she thought about everyday like this. How deep in this was she?

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" I asked her amused by her reactions to my departure. She nodded glumly at me. "I'll be there in the morning," I promised her, smiling. Her face flooded with warm pink color. I hated to leave her but I couldn't take any chances. I reached over to feel her warmth. I ran my fingers lightly down her cheek, gazing into her eyes. Edward, I'm not going to wait all day! I heard Alice's voice ring through my head. I smiled slightly at Bella, turned and walked out.

Alice was waiting at the car. About time. She thought as she smiled. "You know, for someone so small you can be very annoying." I grinned at her. "I need to get Bella's truck before we head out. I'll be back shortly and we'll get a move on."

"I enjoyed meeting her today," Alice said to me. "I hope you'll bring her home to meet Esme soon. I know they will all love her, I've seen it. And you know I'm right."

"I know," I admitted reluctantly. I knew they would love her, I didn't doubt that for a moment. I doubted my self control. I didn't want to let them down, or to hurt her. But I couldn't stay away. Bella was my true north. She had a gravity that pulled me to her like I was a planet in her solar system. "Wait here," I told Alice. "I'll be back shortly." I tossed the keys to the Volvo to her and crossed the parking lot to the trees. As soon as I crossed the threshold of furry pines I was off in a sprint. The world flew by in a green flash of light. It didn't take long to reach Bella's house at that speed. Before I knew it I stepped out of the tree line into the clearing that belonged to the Swans. I glanced around to make sure the chief wasn't home. No sign of him. I approached the front door and reached up above the door jam for the house key. I grasped it in my hands and brought it down to the lock. How predictable. I let myself in and quickly grabbed her silver key from the key hook. The house had her glorious fragrance. I quickly exited so as not to disturb anything, locking the door behind me. I replaced the key and walked to the big red truck. Giant steel death trap. It could barely do 60 mph on a good day. Maybe one day, she'd let me get her a faster car. I unlocked the door and slid into the drivers seat. It was uniquely Bella. Slightly untidy, the music turned off, and a sweatshirt tossed across the passenger seat. The smell in her truck was intoxicating. Freesia and orange blossoms. The burn cut my throat like a hot knife to butter, but it was the best kind of pain. I put the key in the ignition and the rickety ride sprang to life rattling and shaking the whole way back to the school.

I parked her truck in the place where my car had been. Alice had the car ready and waiting when I arrived. I dug around the seat for a minute and came up with a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Be Safe. I wrote for Bella. A small reminder to keep her nose clean while I was away. I folded it carefully and placed it on her seat and placed the key in the ignition. I closed the truck door and headed towards mine. Alice was waiting patiently in the passenger seat.

"Ready to go?" she asked me.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly. "The sooner we get out there, the sooner we can get back."

"Edward, she'll be fine. I can see that she will. The only thing you need to worry about is hunting." Alice reassured me. "What shall we hunt today?"

"Preferably something carnivorous," I replied. I hit the gas and the car sped off in search off the hunt.

I was full of eagerness as I pulled into her drive that morning. I was careful to wait for the chief to leave first. Yet small parts of me continued to whisper, run away and never look back. That was the part of me that lived closest to the monster that still resided deep inside of me, the monster that wanted Bella all for himself. I prayed that she had told her father she was coming with me today. It would put fear in the monster's heart. I approached the front door silently, breathing deeply, trying to acclimate myself to her fiery scent before she came to the door. Pure heaven. I softly knocked upon the large wooden door. I could hear her feet pounding down the stairs just before she flung the door open. I could hear her heart throbbing with excitement. Her radiance was energizing. The way her coffee hair bounced and the blood ran to her cheeks, flooding them with a warm pink color was worth it. I smiled at her as I looked her over. It was as if she had read my mind this morning. She was wearing the feminine version of my clothing, a tan sweater, blue jeans and a white shirt underneath.

"Good Morning," I greeted her, letting a small chuckle escape from my throat.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked slightly embarrassed, truly oblivious to our twin ensembles.

"We match," I laughed harder this time. We must truly be in tune with each other. I gestured towards her truck and she locked the house behind her. I agreed to let her drive today, against my better judgment. I made my way to the passenger side, hoping she'd change her mind.

"We made a deal," she reminded me with a self-satisfied tone in her voice as she climbed into the driver's side and unlocked my door. I climbed into the rusted out truck, praying silently it wouldn't start. I'd seen how she walked I was concerned with her ability to drive.

"Where to?" She asked me.

"Put your seat belt on – I'm nervous already." She gave me a dirty look and started up the vehicle.

"Where to?" She repeated again as she backed out the drive.

"Take the one oh one north," I directed her. I was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea. Could I manage myself? Mind over matter. Think about something else, and if you cant take the scent anymore, just stop breathing, I told myself. The slow pace and her constant weaving was killing me.

"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" I tormented her.

"This truck is old enough to be your cars grandfather – have some respect." She snapped back. A few torturously slow minutes later we were out of Forks and on our way to the meadow.

"Turn right on one-ten," I instructed. "Now we drive until the pavement ends." I was becoming excited now. I could not wait to share my favorite place with Bella. I hoped she would love it as much as I already did.

"And what's there, at the pavements end?" She asked me curiously.

"A trail."

"We're hiking?" She nervously asked me. I could tell she was unsure of climbing through the trails, more than likely because of her horrible record of constantly colliding with the ground.

"Is that a problem?" I asked her. I expected her to change her mind. Part of me really wanted her to change her mind.

"No."

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry." I tried to reassure her. She didn't answer me. What was she thinking? I would carry her if she wanted me to. But it was killing me that she was unreachable.

"What are you thinking?" I pestered her.

"Just wondering where we're going," she sighed.

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." I looked out the window. The clouds were beginning to clear and the sun would come out soon. I was becoming more anxious.

"Charlie said it would be warm today," she declared.

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" I mentally crossed my fingers hoping she had told him exactly what was going on.

"Nope." She answered matter of factly. Of course she hadn't, I had asked her to. Did this girl have a death wish? Maybe others still knew. I was grasping for straws but I needed to scare the monster inside me into hiding.

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" I asked hopeful.

"No. I told her you cancelled on me – which is true." This girl wanted me to hurt her. She was asking for it. The monster in me grinned a horrible toothy grin. Its eyes were red with lust. This angered me.

"No one knows you're with me?" I fumed. She was setting me up for failure.

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?" She naively inquired.

"That's very helpful, Bella," I snapped at her. I couldn't help myself. I had warned her, begged her, to not trust me so implicitly. Why couldn't this human just fear me like the rest? And why did she defy my wishes?

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it has made you suicidal?" I berated her.

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly." She said apologetically. I felt terrible. I spoke angrily to her for being concerned about me and my family, but I still could help but be upset by her lack of self preservation.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me – if you don't come home?" I couldn't disguise my disgust.

She nodded, never looking away from the road. It didn't take a mind reader to tell that I was upsetting her.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic thing to do." I muttered under my breath, hoping she wouldn't hear me. I wanted to turn the car around. I no longer approved of our field trip. I was disgusted and angry. We rode silently the rest of the way. When the road ended she parked along the shoulder and we got out of the vehicle. The temperature had warmed up. It was becoming humid yet it was still overcast. I peeled off my tan sweater, tossed it on the seat and slammed my door in frustration. I looked back down the road to the forest and the hidden path we were about to take. I was beginning to regret this. I should have run while I could.

"This way," I looked over my shoulder at her still annoyed by her poor judgment. I started off to the path when I heard her voice.

"No trail?" She asked with concern in her voice. I had wish she'd shown as much concern for her life as she seemed to about hiking.

"I won't let you get lost," I teased her and smiled half a smile. She examined me with her gaze. She had the most painful expression upon her face, like she was terrified. I hoped it wasn't me, but at the exact same time I had hoped she had come to her senses about me. But still her look confused me. I couldn't help but stare back at her warm brown eyes.

"Do you want to go home?" I quietly asked her. My heart was begging her to say no, but my head was praying for a yes.

"No." She walked towards me until she was nearly touching my arm. Her perfume sent shivers through my body. I inhaled them deeply.

"What's wrong," I questioned her. I could tell she was nervous about something.

"I'm not a very good hiker," she answered with a hint of embarrassment in her voice. "You'll have to be very patient."

"I can be patient – if I make great effort." I smiled at her, making contact with her eyes, I wanted to see her smile again like she did when she met me at the door. She tried to smile back, but it was not a true smile, not a smile I expected out of such a passionate girl. I could tell she still bothered. Maybe she had finally come to her senses and decided to finally fear me as the rest did.

"I'll take you home," I told her, my heart disappointed.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," she said rather monotone and unenthusiastically. Her tone made me frown. This girl was an enigma to me, and I couldn't get in her head to decipher her mannerisms. Should I lead on, or do I put this innocent child in the truck and take her back home where she would be safe from me? Would she protest? Of course she would, she didn't even let me drive today. I gave up analyzing it and lead the way into the trees.

She slowed the pace, but handled the long hike with great determination and effort. She did much better than I had expected her to do. I should be learning from my assumptions of her by now. I needed to remember not to make them. She was stronger than I seemed to give her credit for. I helped her over large logs and slippery rocks, grabbing her elbow careful not to touch her hands. I didn't hold on to her any longer than was necessary. I was afraid my cold grasp would frighten her. I was afraid that if I touched her, and she felt the ice cold clutch of my fingers, she'd never let me touch her again. Worst of all, if I touched her, would I be able to let her go?

To be continued...