This is my first story under my new penname. Don't expect much changes in my writing style, I'm still developing it, and don't credit the name for any changes you may see.
This story's a simple story... Sonic, his friends, and utter mayhem and beldam. I have to credit my friends for the inspiration to it though. So, enjoy.
"This sucks," said Knuckles the Echidna in a very pissed off manner as he tossed a plastic guitar into the ground. A fake, booing crowd was on a very large television screen.
Shadow the Hedgehog was grinning in triumph, confident and fulfilled as he held the second guitar, "I win. Naturally."
Sonic The Hedgehog picked up the first guitar from the ground, "Don't get mad just because you can't play, Knuckles. Plus, if you break this, I'll go find and use the Chaos Emeralds on you."
Knuckles contented himself by grumbling angrily, ignoring Tails' comments of Shadow's 'uber skils'. "You know, this game really is—"
"Shut up, Tails," Shadow interrupted, not bothering to look over at the orange fox. Tails rolled his eyes and went back to watching the next song on Guitar Hero III play in silence.
The four friends were at Sonic's house, eating much of his food and drinking many of his sodas while relaxing comfortable in the very fancy setup of his living room. The room consisted of two jet black sofas, one glass table between them, and a very large screened plasma TV. Which was more than likely Sonic's pride and joy, seeing as how he insisted on shinning it every four minutes.
"Your game cheated, Sonic," Knuckles began to complain. He decided he didn't have to settle for taking a loss in silent dignity. Shadow and Sonic were busy dueling, rather skillfully in Expert, in an all out guitar battle. "It's working perfectly now because your using it!"
"Knuckles, you only suck so much on guitar hero because you failed on Dream Police. No loses at that." Shadow commented.
Sonic laughed, and Knuckles, fuming with fury and rage soon flung himself at Shadow with a roar and the two were soon tumbling around the room in a whirl of fur and fists.
Sonic took this opportunity to win. "Yes! Yes! I win, Shadow! Now I've bested you in fighting and in gaming, you poor fool! "
At that Shadow leapt from the ground and gaped at the screen.
'Player 1 rocks!'
Twas what it said.
"MY PERFECT RECORD!" Shadow screeched in utter disbelief. Knuckles was busy laughing behind him. Shadow turned on him and Knuckles could've sworn he saw actual fire in his eyes. "Oh, that's it…YOU…!"
Knuckles was then roundhouse kicked into the dinning room, "Ahh!" and into a table. Which made a loud, breaking noise.
"MY TABLE!" Sonic screamed, and ran into the dinning room, his 'victory' suddenly forgotten. He stood there and gaped at the broken wooden table. "Knuckles, you broke my table, man!"
"Ooooohhh….." was Knuckles only reply.
"It wasn't your glass one," Shadow pointed out nonchalantly.
Tails ran in. "Holy shitake mushroom, Sonic! What happened here?"
"All right, all right, calm down…" Shadow tried to sooth Sonic before the blue hedgehog could throw one of his tyrannical sissy-rage fits. Something they all knew he would do if something wasn't done. To stop this Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald and warped the table and Knuckles away; then warped in a new, identical table. "It was at a discount store, they won't miss it."
Sonic seemed to calm down, examining the new table. "Oh… well all right, then."
Tails looked around, "Hey, where's Knuckles?"
"Who cares?" answered Shadow, still grumpy. "He screwed up my loss-today record… that bi-(beep!)t…"
Sonic laughed merrily. "Yeah, you're right. Hey, who wants some ramen? I'm hungry."
"I do!" shouted Tails immediately, waving his arms around fanatically. Shadow smacked him away and Tails fled into the kitchen.
"Fine." Shadow answered, not really wanting anything to eat at all but agreed anyway because he could. "But I would've won that last battle."
"Yeah, right." Replied Sonic, he was in a good mode: Shadow lost a game at last after fifty-two rounds of perfection, he'd gotten a new table, and Knuckles was gone. Things were looking up.
In the kitchen, Tails was trying to grab soup out of the counter, but he couldn't reach it and he must've forgotten he could fly. At this Shadow laughed hysterically, so Tails pulled out his laser gun, shot Shadow in the leg, and the proceeded to threaten Sonic into getting it for him.
But Sonic couldn't stifle the laughter borne from Shadow rolling on the ground in pain, clutching his leg. The black hedgehog also swore more times than the narrator cared to beep out. Sonic didn't seem to care Tails was pointing the same laser beam gun at him.
It was a bit later on afterward, and after much Sonic face slapping by both Tails and Shadow, that the ramen was finally prepared, and the three enjoyed their meals in peace.
"…So then I said, "Began Sonic, holding back laughter while trying to slurp down a chopstick full of noodles and talk at the same time. "That's not my dog, that's my lawyer!"
Tails and Shadow laughed heartily with mirth, Shadow banging his fist on the table and shaking his head. "Lawyers…"
When they finally calmed down, Tails looked troubled. "Still… I wonder what happened to-"
Suddenly, a cat came crashing in through the window and landed on Shadow's face, clawing and screeching madly. "AHHHHHH!" Shadow bolted out of his seat and ran around blindly, the cat still shrieking and scratching.
Sonic gaped. "MY WINDOW!"
Directly afterwards, Knuckles crashed in through the same widow, fell into the sink, while breaking some priceless china, before falling onto the ground. The sink faucet fell off.
Knuckles, now bearing highly singed fur, pointed furiously at Shadow. "Shadow, you bastard! Why did you try to send me into the sun!?"
Shadow was still writhing in pain on the ground, "You… son of a…" but the cat had run off and stolen the TV remote.
Tails looked confused. "The sun? How did you survive that?"
Knuckles turned around his and his fury was immediately forgotten, since he loved to gloat or make himself look cool. "Well, it wasn't easy… So there I was…"
There he was indeed. Knuckles was on the broken table, still groaning in pain, all while floating around in a completely freelance manner. But he was floating around in space. And towards the sun, no less.
"Ooouugh… Shadow, that bastard…" Knuckles groaned, "Just wait until I find a cat…" he noticed he was in the dead of space. "What the? How can I breath here-Oh, that's right. I pulled this paradox in Meteor Herd, too."
Suddenly, the meteor herd song, Space Trip Steps played from absolutely nowhere. Knuckles didn't care. "I love this song!"
Then part of his fur caught fire. "Ow!" and he put it out with his hand. "Hey, is it hot in here is that just…" He turned around, and finally noticed the sun. "Oh… well, that's not good."
He screamed loudly for an entire minute, floating very slowly towards the sun and towards an inevitable death. And from somewhere came a shout, "Shut up!"
Knuckles would've just continued screaming until death did come, but then he remembered something. "That's it! Good thing I have that!" He turned around, and pulled out the Master Emerald from nowhere. "Never leave home without it!" He suddenly frowned. "Not after what Chaos did, that liquidy bastard…"
Knuckles proceeded to raise his arms and do the chant. "Oh, Master Emerald! Lend me your powe-"
"Oh, what-again?" spoke the Master Emerald. And it sounded very much annoyed.
Knuckles, not seeming very surprised at all, rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I'm kinda in a jam-"
"OMG, again! This is like the eighty-ith friggin' time this week!"
"Sorry, I got warped here and-"
"All the time, you friggin' Echidna's are all 'oh, we need your power!' and all that crap! Do you know how many times this has happened?"
"Hey, I just-"
"And what do I get in return? You let some goo monster break me into pieces while you're sleeping off that hangover you got the night before, and then YOU break me yourself one month later, you asshole!" (Oops, the censorship beep was too late.)
There was silence.
"So will you help me?"
And so Knuckles rode on top of the Master Emerald, surfed around the sun a few times while whooping it up, and then flew back towards Earth.
"…and that's how I made it back alive!" Knuckles proclaimed proudly. "Cool, eh?"
Sonic, Tails, and Jet the Hawk all stared at him. Suddenly, Sonic realized Jet was in his house and immediately kicked him out of the broken window.
"You mean the Master Emerald TALKS!?" Tails squeaked incredulously.
"Uh, no sh—(beep!)t, Sherlock!" The Master Emerald commented from behind Knuckles.
"You flew around the SUN?!" Jet shouted from the window. Sonic threw a cat at him, too.
"There are flashbacks in this story?!" Sonic turned around and questioned, now sounding shocked after Jet was taken care of.
"Apparently," Knuckles answered, shrugging. "But that can't compete with my absolute coolness. I-"
Shadow ran up to Knuckles, kicked the Master Emerald, and it shattered into pieces.
"OMG—NOT AGAIN, again, again…" It's voice echoed as the pieces scattered, but only after shooting through Sonic's roof.
"NO! The Master Emerald!" Knuckles shouted, eyes wide. He turned to Shadow a downright furious look in his eyes. "DAMNIT! Do you know how long it will take to find all of those pieces!? AGAIN?!"
"Do you know how long it will takes these scratches to heal!?" Shadow countered. "Now my date with Rouge is ruined…"
Knuckles' eye twitched. "WHAT?!"
"MY CEALING!" (Sonic, of course.)
"I can top that, I have a rash!" Tails put his two-bits in.
"Shut up, Tails." Shadow said again.
After that, Knuckles and Shadow went back to arguing, "MY fur's been singed in places you can probably imagine!"
"Don't you mean 'can't'?" Shadow shouted back in question form.
"NO! Take a guess!"
Tails helped himself to the rest of the ramen calmly, and Sonic continued balling over the house damages while Shadow and Knuckles simply shouted nonsense at each other. This went of for a full three minutes before the plot (what plot?) got moving again, so Eggman burst in through the wall with the broken window, sitting in the long since destroyed Egg Hornet, newly reconfigured into something that could fly.
"Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…." Eggman began panting. "ha…ha…ha..…ha. SONIC!" He shouted loudly. "Prepare to have your kitchen as it never was before!"
Sonic had already started crying after Eggman blasted half the wall down.
"Take this!" Eggman bellowed. "The Egg Vanquisher Ray!" He fired it, and after a few yellow flashes of light, the kitchen was just the way it was before Knuckles crashed in through the window. Even their bowls of ramen were refilled. Everyone started. Sonic cheered. Tails cheered for the extra ramen.
Eggman turned red. "NO! Not the Egg Time Reverser ray! ARGGHH! Damnit, Metal Sonic! This is the wrong ray!"
Metal Sonic, sitting down in the backyard against the fence, was downing yet another bottle of rum, adding to the now sixty-four empty bottles scattered around him. "SHYUT UPP!" He slurred. "YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ME!" He tossed the bottle at Eggman's ship where it shattered.
Eggman ignored this. "Argh! You'll pay for this!" Eggman bellowed at the four, shook his fist, and then retreated pointlessly to the backyard. Even thought the four hadn't done a single thing to disrupt his plans at all.
Sonic stood up. "Come on! We gotta go after Eggman!"
"OMG, Sonic, if you say that one more time… I swear it'll be the very phrase you fear in your nightmares." Shadow threatened. Sonic lowered his head.
And so the four furries ran outside to the backyard in pursuit of the fatman in a red suit. Tails tripped once out the door, and once all four stood opposing Eggman, Shadow bent over. "Oh, a penny!"