Final Realization

L's final thoughts at the point of his death. Oneshot, L centric.

I stop, spoon still poised above the teacup. Pain sears through my chest. No longer in control of my muscles, my hands tremble violently.

Kira kills through heart attacks.

I'm dead. I can tell.


I let the spoon drop as I fall to the side, unable to move to stop myself. The swivel chair tips to the side and I fall… but Light-kun reaches out and catches me, slows my fall, as the swivel chair crashes to the floor.


My hand spasms, clenches at his shirt. The rest of the team are frozen, shocked.

Deer in the headlights of an oncoming car.

I don't know where that came from or why, but for some reason I find it insanely hilarious. I want to laugh. But I never laugh.

Then I look toward Light-kun.

Light Yagami…!

And there I see an old rival. Who swore to kill me, as surely as I swore to kill him. A killer with a childish and immature sense of justice. A person who hates to lose.


Light's face is twisted, a killer's face. His eyes slitted. His mouth curled upwards in a plainly evil smirk. I stare into those eyes, those eyes that showed me my first real friend… but now express victory in my death.

I knew it…

I wasn't… wrong…

But… I…

I wish I had been…