A/N: I have a secret. I beta a few of The 1000th Kiss's stories! So, has anyone read her story Stutter Bird? NO?! HOW CAN YOU NOT?! Fine then. Go read it! NOW!

Anyhoo, in a review I dropped for the latest chapter (8!), I mentioned something about The Beta's Revenge.

And she replied asking what it was.

I have no clue, really.

So she wants me to write something where her OC, Matt, gets his head ripped off.

And this is the result!

NOTE: Angel is VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY OOC in this… I KNOW! Please don't kill me!


It was dark, very dark. So dark in fact, that Angel (in all her colorful glory) was almost invisible in the gloom.

Perched at a desk, our antagonist, Matt, was eating a bag of baby carrots. He looked worse for wear; now that he was running from the law. His once-olive toned skin was a pallid white—he hadn't seen the light of day for months. His greasy, black hair was pulled underneath a brown cap that had seen better days. Matt's clothing wasn't much better, threadbare pants and a XXXL tee-shirt that slipped off his thin shoulders.

Every few minutes, he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Damn that fag. Damn him and his fairy! They cost me my damn job!"

Angel clenched her jaws as she heard Matt's homophobic words. She took a silent step forward, then another. Matt was oblivious to her presence, chomping on his carrots with unquenchable vehemence.

Soon enough, he finished his bag, crumpling up the colorful plastic bag baby carrots come in and tossing it aside. It was obvious that Matt had been living in this hovel for a while; empty food wrappers and dirty laundry littered his floor.

Matt staggered over to the ancient refrigerator. He opened it and rummaged around, spewing out more curses.

After I'm done with you, I'm washing your mouth out with soap! Angel thought. Wait, that means I would need to touch you! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

Matt started picking his nose while Angel looked on in disgust. Finally, she couldn't take it any longer. She opened her pocket knife with a snap!

Matt's head shot up, looking for the source of the noise.

"Who-who's th-there?" He shakily said.

"Nobody," Angel said, walking behind Matt and placing her blade under his throat. Why on earth did Collins make me read the Odyssey? He knows how I like to quote things!

Matt started to scream, but Angel dug the knife further into his neck.

"Why… are you…?" He choked out.

"Because you hurt my lover," Angel hissed, kicking Matt in the leg with a stiletto shod foot. Tears were running down Matt's checks now, mingling with the blood as they ran off his chin.

"But…" He tried to protest, but Angel cut him off by kicking him again.

"That's 'cause you whipped him." She said, kicking him between the legs. Matt gasped, his legs giving out.

"And this," Angel said, punching him in the nose, "Is for everything else you've ever done!" Matt screamed; sounding more like a little girl than any "macho" man would want to.

Finally, Angel just stuck the knife under Matt's chin and brought it up. With a sickly gurgle and a spray of crimson blood, Matt was dead.

Angel grabbed her knife and pocketed it, running until her legs gave out from exhaustion and her lungs felt like they were on fire. She discarded the bloody knife in a garbage can nearby and shed her top layers, stuffing them into an abandoned alley.

She began the heavy walk back to the apartment she shared with Collins and Susie, looking forward to a nice, long, soapy shower.


A week later, Collins and Angel were lying next to each other in their bed. The sweet, sweaty after-smell of lovemaking still hung in the air.

"Hey Ang?" Collins finally said.

"Yeah." Angel mumbled against Collin's side.

"How do we know all them people, Matt 'n Alexander and all, aren't going to come and kill us?"

Angel froze. He couldn't know, he couldn't!

"Um… well…" she stammered. "I have a feeling we won't be hearing from Matt any time soon. And everyone else is in jail, aren't they?"

"Yeah, I guess." Collins sighed and ran his fingers through Angel's short hair. "Did the police ever find him?"

"I don't know." Angel admitted, turning over so her back was facing Collins. "Can I go to sleep now?"

Collins yawned.

"Yeah… Love you, Ang."

"Love you too."

And with that, the couple fell asleep. And even though Matt was dead, he still haunts Angel's dreams today.


*waits for the flames/reviews to start*