Dedicated t ( Sorry this took so long D: )

BGM: Stuff on STWPT(Stuff to wear pants to)

.-xx-.

There's a Zombie in my Pocket

A.K.A

The Seasons

.-x Summer x-.

"DUCKIESSSS! QUACK QUACK QUACK! DUCKY DUCKY! QUACK QUACK!"

Those poor ducks. Probably scared out of their minds right now, being chased by a small purple haired beast, which had purple eyes. Following the screaming of 'duckies and quack' came insane giggling.

Demyx, who was sitting nearby, was trying to fend himself off from the pigeons that kept landing on him, while Zexion ran around chasing the ducks and chucking whole slices of rock hard bread at them. He had tripped a couple of times, but he just giggled and got back up, returning to chasing the birds.

"These birds are psychotic!" Demyx said, flapping his arms at the pigeons. "That kid is psychotic!" Axel, Demyx's best friend for like, life, said, watching as Zexion roared at a nearby duck and dived at it.

Demyx looked over and grinned when he saw Zexion, now sitting on the ground and having long forgotten the ducks look absolutely confused and curious as a butterfly landed on his small nose. He wriggled it a bit and sneezed, falling on his back onto the grass as the small insect flew away.

The small Zexion was not only accompanied by Demyx and Axel today, by the way. Practically everyone was there; Vincent, Yuffie, Riku, Roxas, Reno and Rude, Tidus, Wakka, Cloud and Leon, Xigbar, Xaldin, Nanaki and Fuu, the newest addition to Zexion's family.

Vincent and Yuffie were sitting over under a huge tree and on a cloth, for they were having a picnic. Vincent was trying to teach Fuu to walk. Tidus and Wakka were off somewhere, probably making out or whatever. Axel and Demyx were obviously watching little Zexion romp around. Xigbar and Xaldin were snuggling together on the beach portion of the park, under an umbrella of epicness. Reno was surfing while Rude was sitting on a beach chair reading. Cloud and Leon were sharing ice cream on a nearby bench.

It was then that Zexion tumbled up to Demyx, demanding they go swimming. "Ahh! Demy, Demy! We has to go swim!" He screamed, clenching his eyes shut and fist-pumping the air. Axel looked at him as if he was insane. He kept bouncing around and pointing at the ocean. Can you guess what his little swim trunks looked like? No seriously I actually want you to guess. I might 'accidentally' and nonchalantly describe them later in a subtle manner, but that's all you'll get. If you get really close I'll give you a present.

"Can you even swim?" Demyx asked him, causing Zexion to practically head bang. "Axe, you wanna come?" He asked said friend. "Are you kidding me? I will tear your balls off if you send me into the water," Axel growled.

Demyx grinned and said ok before standing up and carrying Zexion over to the water. Zexion immediately charged into the freezing water, but regretted doing so instantly.

Demyx came in after him, and he and Zexion played merrily for a little while, Reno even coming over once or twice on his board. Then he did something incredibly stupid: He lifted Zexion on his board, and started surfing with him. This was probably the most moronic thing one could do when there was a relaxing Vincent Valentine nearby. Demyx sort of realized this, and looked in his direction. Sure enough, Vincent was watching Reno intently, and was sitting up, for he had been lying down previously tanning (because Yuffie demanded that he do so).

"Reno… I don't think Mr. Valentine is very happy with you-" Demyx was cut off when the unthinkable happened. Reno crashed, causing him and Zexion to go underwater. Demyx was just beginning to look around for them when Vincent had already reached them, and was searching vigorously for his four year old. Yuffie had even rushed into the water, as did most everybody.

Because simply, most everyone knew that Zexion couldn't swim. I mean, he was four! Nobody, of course, was looking for Reno, because this was his fault. Also, he had already come back up, and was looking for Zexion as well.

"Got him!" Someone said, Xigbar. He was holding the boy, who was shivering and coughing up water. Vincent rushed over and grabbed him before he and Yuffie rushed back to shore. Slowly, everyone also made their way back to the shore to relax again, giving the Valentine family their space.

Demyx and Xigbar walked over to Vincent, Yuffie, Zexion and Fuu in silence, still a bit in shock. "Um, Mr. and Mrs. Valentine, I'm sorry for what happened. If I hadn't of let Reno—" It's ok! As long as he's ok!" Yuffie said, grinning at him. "Oh, I'm so glad you're not mad at me! I thought you would've been, and then you'd never have me babysit Zexy ever again, and then I'd never see him again!" He explained, dreading those very thoughts. He glanced over to Zexion, who was calmly napping, although still soaking wet.

"Xigbar, thank you for saving him. You two seem close, for he talks of you positively," Vincent said, giving him a smile.

"Hell, I helped get him sick! Of course we're close!" Xigbar said, grinning.

Vincent's smile faltered, and he then turned to Demyx. "Never could we do such a thing to the one who has tamed Zexion," He calmly said. "Tamed him?" Demyx asked. "Yes. Every sitter we have taken him to he has managed to piss off and make them quit. Apparently, he's a-always b-being the ultim-mate w-wild child," Vincent explained, starting to stutter halfway through. Demyx, confused, looked closer to see what was causing Vincent to go so red in the face.

Well, it was Yuffie. She was sitting on his lap and was slowly licking up his chest. 'Ewwww, gross,' Demyx thought, also going red in the face before looking away.

"Y-yuffie!" He exclaimed, his voice cracking. "I can't help it Vinnnnn, you're just so sexy, all lying here, tanning, shirtless, and wet. I can't help ittttt," Yuffie whined, nuzzling her face in his neck. Vincent was as red as ever.

"Vincent, I would've thought that you of all people were sophisticated enough not to get your girlfriend pregnant in front of other children," Came a random voice. It belonged to Leon, who was walking over with Cloud.

"Aww, Leon, you ruin all the fun," Yuffie whined, as she purred into a red-faced Vincent's neck. "Hey, we just came over to see how the little one was doing," Leon said, raising his arms in the air as if to surrender.

"He's fine, now can you all like, go away? Vinnie and I have to get re-married so we can go on another honeymoon!" Yuffie demanded, turning back to Vincent and asking him to marry her. "What? Why?" Vincent asked. "Are you unhappy with out marriage right now?" He asked, his voice taking on a depressed tone. "No, we just need to have a baby that has black hair and red eyes! I'm tired of people thinking that I'm married to Sephiroth. Grossness," Yuffie explained, her face taking on a disgusted expression.

Suddenly a small hand appeared, and waved vigorously in between the small space that was between Vincent and Yuffie's face. Both looked down just in time to have Zexion climb in between them and sit on his dad's lap, his legs on either side of Yuffie. He looked up to his dad, who looked down at him and smiled. "Daddy?" Zexion asked. "Yes?" Vincent replied. Both seemed to be in their own little world, everyone else having disappeared from it. "If yer gonna go make more babies, can I go stay with Demy?" At this question, Vincent blanched, then blushed. "We're not going to have any more babies for a while, little one. I don't think I even want to know how you know about these things, either," He said, closing his eyes and silently chuckling.

"Hey, why don't you ever ask me questions? You always ask your dad! I'm just as cool as him!" Yuffie complained, poking her small child in the forehead.

Zexion looked at her, and made a face. "Cuz yer weeiiirdd. You always has to go inta crasee detail bout everytin, when all I need is a yes," He whined, leaning back up against Vincent's chest. "Hum!" Zexion then demanded.

"What, why? Stop acting like your mother, one of her is enough," Vincent said, but Zexion wasn't listening. He had closed his eyes, and looked super relaxed. At everyone's staring Yuffie laughed. "It's his voice. When you lie against his chest and he does something with his voice, it feels so good…" She said, leaning her own head on it. Curious, Demyx came over and did the same, as did Cloud and Leon.

"What the hell is this?" Vincent asked, causing everyone to go 'ahhhhh…' in relaxation.

"What the hell?" Entered a rather confused voice. "What the fuck is this, yo?" Reno. Of course. It just had to be Reno. "C'mere, put your face on his chest," Cloud said. "Uhhh… how about no…" Reno replied, his expression still weird. "Yea, I'll pass, thanks," And with that he walked off, surfboard under his arm.

"Axel, please, c'mon man, I need this!"

"No way man, there's no way in hell,"

"Please! You're my best friend, you're supposed to say yes!"

"No! I am not watching that psycho freak!"

"He's not psycho! Look, I'll even forgive you for having wet dreams about my brother if you do,"

"Hey! I do not—"

"Yes you do!" This was a foreign voice this time, and it belonged to Reno who was out in the living room.

Demyx looked at Axel. "Dude you need a better door," He snorted.

Axel sighed, then chuckled. "Yea, I seriously do, don't I,"

"Ok, so I'll drop him off tonight at six, thanks!"

"But I don't— Damnit!"

"Demyx, I'm glad you got someone else to watch Zexion, but did it have to be Axel? Or maybe we could just send him back home?" Leon asked, his hand gripping the bridge of his nose.

"But he's my best friend, I can trust him with anything!" Demyx argued, holding a Zexion who was occupied with Sex the hamster.

"I know you could trust him with anything, but no one else can!"

"Leon, it will be alright. Reno and Rude will be there too, and we'll only be gone for a day," Cloud told him, having walked in with a messy apron on, indicating that he had been making cookies.

The Zexion brain sensors seemed to go off when he sensed Cloud's presence, for he looked Demyx in the eye for a few moments, as if the two were having a silent conversation.

After those few moments, Demyx looked back to his dad. "He wants cookies," He said, shrugging. Cloud smiled and walked into the kitchen to get him some. "I think it's time we dropped him off at Axel's. Did you even call Vincent and Yuffie and ask them if you could drop Zexion off at Axel's?" Leon suggested, then asked. Demyx sighed, then put Zexion down and walked to the phone before calling the Valentine's.

"Hello?" Vincent asked as he answered the phone.

"Hi! It's me, Demyx,"

"Hello, Demyx. What do you need, what has happened and or why are you calling?"

"… I wanted to ask a question, because Leon told me too,"

"Well?"

"Can I have Axel watch Zexy for a couple days while we—"

"No."

"…Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because he's my best friend?"

"No."

"But Cloud said ok!"

Vincent sighed, and Demyx could hear Yuffie in the background saying 'aw let 'im go!'

"I suppo—"

"Plus Reno will be there too!"

"No."

"…So will Rude,"

"...I'll think about it,"

"Kay thanks!"

There was the sound of a small struggle on the other end.

"Hey there, Demy!" Yuffie said, having obviously won the battle.

"Go ahead and take the kid, I'm sure he'll be fine! He needs some nerve anyway, that shy little loser!"

"You just called your own son a loser," Vincent could be heard saying in the background.

"Well that's because he is!" Argued Yuffie. "He's too shy!"

Demyx, seriously weirded out by now, said, "Well... I gotta go now, by guys!" and with that he hung up.

"They said yes!" He cheered when he turned back to Leon. "You're kidding," He groaned. "Nope!" Demyx laughed, as he hopped over to Zexion, who was sitting in the living room watching the television.

He was watching the show Cold Case Files, and it was currently displaying the gruesome imaged of someone's remains.

"Oh my god, Zexion! You can't watch this!" He yelled, reaching for the remote to change it. "N-no! I like it. Iss my favrit show…" Zexion protested, still eating his cookies out of the little bag Cloud had given him. "You've got to be kidding me!" Demyx said looking at him with an alarmed expression.

Zexion just smiled innocently smiled and shook his head.

Demyx merely raised his eyebrows in shock. "Well… C'mon, we have to go drop you off at Axel's, anyway,"

Zexion's head snapped up to face him in alarm. "Wha'? Why!" He asked.

"Because we have to go to my Gramma's, and she hates little tiny kids like you," Demyx told him. "Bud I don' like Azzel," Zexion whined, "Bein' 'round him makes me wanna kick 'im!" He explained.

"What? Why!?" Demyx asked, horrified. But before Zexion could answer, he was interrupted.

"Kay, get in the car, let's go drop the kid off in hell," Leon said, walking out of the kitchen (his hair looked slightly disheveled, his shirt was un-tucked and he looked flushed and out of breath) and out the door.

Demyx just stared after him, too shocked and disgusted because he knew why his dad looked that way. "Hey!" He said after coming back down to Earth. "He isn't going to hell!" He picked up Zexion and carried him outside, Zexion waving bye-bye to the plastic chocobos (like Pink Flamingoes) that stuck out everywhere in the front yard.

"Oh god it's so hottttt," Demyx whined, already sweating.

"Well, that's what we call Summer," Cloud said, as he got into the truck.

When they reached the destination, Demyx and Zexion climbed out. Leon grabbed Zexion's arm before he could toddle of and pulled him back to face him. "Don't do anything stupid. Don't get shot, don't get bitten, and don't get burned," He told him, Zexion merely staring at him.

"Kay." He said, before grabbing his (chocobo) backpack and pulling it open, revealing a whole bunch of books. "I brod books," He said, zipping it back up and struggling to get the heavy thing back onto his back. Demyx and he then walked to the front door, and when Axel answered, you could tell he was really not happy.

Demyx said goodbye to him, and as he walked out of the house you could hear Leon scream, "DON'T KILL HIM!"

And with that, they were gone.

-Random Extra Insert-

_.x- Nine years later –x._

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you bring me to the library, saying that it was 'urgernt'?"

"Because your mother made me," Vincent said, clearing his throat. Zexion merely stared at him and said, "Oh."

After parking, both males got out of the truck and silently walked into the huge biblical building, Vincent steering them to the nonfiction section. Seeing the certain section they were in of the nonfiction, Zexion's eyes widened a little, and he looked around warily as his dad grabbed a few books off the shelves as they passed them.

They settled themselves at a nice table in the corner, and Vincent cleared his throat, looking sort of humiliated. "Son," He said, picking up the book and holding it on the table so it faced Zexion. Zexion looked at it, and his face immediately morphed into one of shock and disgust. There was a picture of a wang as the front cover. "There comes a point in one's life when—" Vincent stopped himself, clearing his throat again and putting on hand on the back of his neck.

"ok look. W-when… No, say there's the pasta noodle, and the sauce. W-well, you uh, put them together, and they make a— No, no... When a man becomes a certain age-"

"Father," Zexion said, his face now emotionless.

Vincent, who had been blushing and sweating like a dork and looking off in other directions the whole time (don't forget the great arm gestures!), looked at him. "Uh, yes?" He asked. Zexion examined his disheveled father before answering. "I already know about this stuff. You need not inform me about it," He said, face still blank.

Vincent looked at him, bewildered. "Oh thank god," He finally said, sighing heavily while slightly grinning.

"Yea," Zexion said, blinking slowly.

"…let's just go home," Vincent said, obviously relieved.

"Yes... Why are you acting like this? Didn't you have to go through the same thing with Riku?" Zexion asked as he put the books back in their correct place.

Vincent just sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I really didn't think he needed 'the talk' after you walked in on him having sex with that little Sora kid," He told him. "You came to us in the middle of the night saying that Riku and his friend wouldn't stop wrestling, while your mother and I were having intercourse. So I was able to persuade Yuffie out of it. You always seemed to have a knack of walking in on people having sex. It happened four times when you were little,"

Zexion visibly spasmed. "What? When was this?" He asked, somewhat horrified of Riku having sex with Sora of all people, and then walking in on his parents doing the same thing.

"When you were six," Vincent told him, as they both climbed into the truck, getting ready to go. "You nearly gave us a heart attack when we turned around and saw you just standing there and staring at us, just calmly explaining that your brother was sucking a lollipop in Sora's pants," He explained, smiling ever so slightly.

Zexion blanched and hid his face in his hands. "Thanks for the details," He moaned, not saying another word for the rest of the trip.

_.x- End Extra –x._

"What are you looking at?" Axel asked, glaring at Zexion, who was indeed staring up at him. "God, stop it you stupid thing," Axel whined, pushing Zexion to the ground with his foot. Zexion, disgruntled by these actions, merely stood back up again. He glared at Axel before walking clumsily to the living room couch and saying, "Shud up, Azzel," In a harsh tone.

"What the hell? You can't tell me that!" Axel snapped, walking over to the couch at a fast pace and grabbing the boy by the hair. This in turn caused Zexion to shout out in pain and attempt to get Axel to let go of him. Axel smirked and pushed the small boy to the ground again with the hand that was ensnared in the mess of purple hair.

"Axel, why are you beating up a small child?" Questioned a familiar voice, one that Axel always dreaded. Axel looked up, thinking, 'oh God, please don't let it be… Damniiiiittt'

His Uncle Rufus, who was ridiculously strict, was standing in the doorway, looking at Axel with an eyebrow raised and a martini glass in one hand.

"He's being a jackass! He told me to shut up!" He told him, after a moment of staring in disgust. "That still doesn't give you any right to break his leg though," Rufus scoffed, looking at the Zexion who did not break his leg. Zexion, though, decided to play along with this by saying, "Ow!" and glaring up at Axel again. "Oh shut up," Axel sneered. "Axel. Don't let me catch you laying a finger on the boy again like that, or I'll have Tseng after you, following you until he attacks, which could be at any time," Rufus told him, before walking off to hunt down Reno, no doubt.

Axel just scowled at him behind his back, before turning back to Zexion.

"Get off my couch, you stupid dog," He hissed at him. But of course, Rufus just happened to walk out with Reno and Rude (who were in their Turk uniform) in tow. The three, having heard this, all raised their eyebrows in curiosity. "It was the TV," Axel quickly said, glancing at said object and weakly pointed to it with his thumb.

"Is that so?" Rufus asked, looking at his finger nails with a bored expression.

"Uh… Yea. In fact, we were just uh, going to go bake cookies, weren't we?" Axel said before asking Zexion.

Zexion just slowly shook his head in confusion. "Yes, we are!" Axel growled through gritted teeth. He picked up Zexion, and carried him off to the kitchen under his arm, much like a piggy or a log. "Yea, cookies. They better be done by the time we get back, Axe!" Reno said, as the three walked out the door. "Damnit… Fine. Cookies it is," Axel grumbled, reaching into several cupboards to find the items necessary for baking. Zexion just sat on the counter, watching as Axel hastily got the ingredients. At one point, Axel handed Zexion a bowl full of ingredients and told him to stir. So he grabbed a wooden spoon from its place and began to mix the ingredients ( with a bit of trouble).

Axel looked over at him distastefully. "You're doing it wrong, moron!" He hissed, grabbing the bowl from him. He began quickly stirring it in Zexion's face, while said toddler merely glared at him. "Well sorry!" He grumbled under his breath.

"Here, put them on the sheet, and try to not screw this up this time!" Axel told him, handing him the bowl again. Zexion glared again, before reaching his hand in and grabbing handfuls of the cookie dough, and placing them on the sheet.

When Axel, who had his back turned and was washing the dishes they didn't need anymore, turned back around, he glared at Zexion again. "They're supposed to be balls, you little moron. I thought you were supposed to be smart," He snarled, smacking Zexion's hand away from the pan and shaping them himself.

Zexion glared at him, again, before whacking Axel in the head with the bowl. "Shud up!" He yelled, jumping off the counter and storming back into the living room. Axel just glowered after him (an: What's with all the glaring? I can't think of another word…), and put the tray of cookies in the oven.

He walked into the living room, only to find Zexion, who was already sitting back on his couch and watching the television, with Cait Sith purring on his lap. Axel looked to see what the boy was watching, it happening to be Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Axel loved this movie, dangit! Now he had to sit down and watch it because it'd be like, a sin, if he didn't.

He looked to Zexion and narrowed his eyes. "You win this round," He growled, before plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms, his eyes not leaving the screen.

After the movie ended, it was settled that they had to watch the other two also. So they did. And by the time that finished, which was like, two hours later, Zexion was out cold. Axel looked over to see what was on his shoulder, only to find it to be Zexion's small head. His face scrunched up as if a disgusting fume just entered the premises. He got up from the couch, making Zexion fall and bounce slightly onto it, and walked away into the kitchen to get some food for himself.

But then he remembered the cookies. His eyes widened, and he ran into the kitchen just in time to see his oven catch on fire. "Ah, fuck!" He yelled, running to the oven and opening it, causing a ridiculous amount of black smoke come out and make the fire alarm go insane. Axel only continued to panic, and grabbed a dirty glass of orange juice before tossing the contents into the fire. That… didn't really work.

Raking his hands through his hair, he quickly thought of another solution. He grabbed his cell phone from his back pocket and called Reno.

"What do you want?"

"Hey, uh, where do we keep the fire hydrant?"

"…Why?"

"No reason. Just wondering."

"It's in the closet, go put the fire out," Reno instructed, knowing very well that there was obviously some kind of fire in his house. After he hung up, Axel sprinted to the closet and grabbed the hydrant, and ran back to the kitchen. Zexion, who had awoken, was standing in the doorway, confused. "Move!" Axel growled at him, pushing him out of the way with his foot. He reached the now not so tiny fire and hastily sprayed it out with the hydrant.

Axel sighed and set it somewhat gently on the counter, before turning to Zexion. "I'm blaming this on you, squirt," He said, before walking past him back into the living room (an: they seem to live in that room ._.). As he did so, he ruffled Zexion's hair.

Zexion followed him, not wanting to hang out with the beyond-charred cookies.

And so they sat on the couch. Axel turned to him and stared for a moment, before saying something. "Pirates, then?" He asked. Zexion thought about it for another moment, before nodding. Axel nodded again and stood up, putting Dead Man's Chest in the DVD player.

Finally, six hours later (They watched At World's End too), Zexion was once again unconscious. It was then that Reno and Rude walked in, Reno gabbing on about different kinds of socks. "Hey, where's the kid?" He asked, once he stopped talking about his socks.

"Right here," Axel curtly said, before standing up. Reno rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch, picking Zexion up and carrying him to Axel's bed.

He dropped him on the bed, haphazardly tucking him in. He walked into the kitchen to where everyone else was now, and to make some food. "How long is he staying?" He asked in a bored tone. Axel sighed, finishing off his sandwich. "Until tomorrow afternoon," He said, standing up and not bother do put his dishes away, leaving Rude to do it for him. "Hey, put away your own damn dishes," Reno snapped, whacking Axel upside the head. Axel growled at him before actually cleaning up his plate and throwing away his napkin, and stomping off to his room to play his video games.

He started playing Gauntlet, unknowing that Zexion was sleeping in his bed. He turned the volume up a fair amount, before resuming to kill weird monster like creatures of doom. About fifteen minutes later, Zexion woke up and crawled out of Axel's icky, dirty and smelly bed, and sat next to him, watching Axel play his game. He kept asking questions, like, 'wud is that?' and 'what is you lookings for?'. Axel, not really there, absentmindedly answered his questions. It was soon after that Zexion asked where the bathroom was. Axel popped back into the real world. "What? Oh, it's you," He said, looking once again disgusted. "What do you want?" He asked. "Where's your bafroom?" Zexion repeated, looking less than thrilled.

Axel groaned, before pausing his game and standing up, starting to walk out of his room. He stopped mid-step, looking back to stare at Zexion. "Well?" He said, crossing his arms. Zexion quickly stood up and walked after him. Once he caught up, Axel grabbed his arm and practically dragged the boy to the hygiene room. "Here," He said, grumpily. He then left the boy to head back to his room, making Zexion have to find his own way back.

Both Axel and Zexion were thrilled when the Strifes came to pick Zexion up. Both were sitting on the couch, watching the Girls Next Door. Zexion, being a good little innocent boy, was reading Coraline instead of watching the show. Both immediately jumped up when the doorbell rang, and ran to the door. But it wasn't them. It was some solicitor, instead. So while Axel took care of him, Zexion moped back to the couch. After about five to ten minutes, Axel came back, not looking to happy. He turned to Zexion, and said, "the damn guy blackmailed me into buying a six month subscription to Seventeen," In a venomous tone.

Zexion said "oh," as an answer, merely going back to reading. Axel 'hm'ed in response, going back to watching his show. And of course, just as he was getting settled, the doorbell rang again. Axel jumped and practically glided over to the door. When he opened it, he almost squealed with joy when he saw Leon standing there. But instead, he turned his head to Zexion, and said, "Hey, midget, get your ass out of my house!".

When he turned back towards the door, he was suddenly face to face with a very evil looking Vincent.

"Oh damn. Hi there, Mr. Valentine. What's shakin'?" He asked, trying to get on his good side by calling him 'Mr.'.

Vincent just stared down at him, not looking any happier. Axel, practically writhing under the glare, took no notice of Zexion who pushed past him in order to reach his parent. Everyone kind of figured that Leon planned for Vincent to come along, because everyone knew Leon didn't like Axel.

"Don't touch his vibrating chest," Reno said as he walked passed, clad in only boxers and socks, his hair undone and goggles missing. Axel decided that he just didn't want to know what Reno was trying to say, because everyone knew he was a bit more eccentric than usual after sex.

Vincent picked Zexion up, and Leon smirked at Axel. "We're going to the Chocobo Fair today," He said, crossing his arms. Hearing this, Zexion nearly had a heart attack. "OH MAI PASTA, CHOBO FARE?!" He screamed, looking around frantically. Leon grinned. "Yup. Demyx, Cloud and I are going too, as are your family," He explained. Zexion nearly died of excitement, and Vincent had to hold on to him tight, to keep him from diving from his arms and to the ground.

Axel just grimaced and slammed the door in their faces. Leon was beaming by now, and looked like he wanted to skip back to his truck. Vincent couldn't hide his smirk, and put Zexion on his shoulders before walking back to Leon's truck. He buckled Zexion up in the back before doing the same for himself except up front.

"Are we goin' NOW?!" A psychotically bouncy Zexion asked. Vincent chuckled, and nodded. "Yes, we are going there now," He said, as Leon drove off.

Once they arrived, Zexion started panicking about not being able to get out in time to see the chocobos.

"It's ok, don't worry. The whole park is about chocobos, an it isn't going anywhere for another week or so," Vincent told him, chuckling in the tiniest of bits.

Once he got himself unbuckled, he pulled the lever near the bottom of the seat, causing it to fly forwards. He somehow managed to climb into the back, for the most part, and unbuckled the bouncing Zexion. He picked him up and carried him to the fair grounds as he followed Leon.

It was a rather small fair ground, so Vincent thought it safe to put his anxious Zexion down on his feet and see him shoot off like a bullet. So he did. He carefully put the boy on his feet, and Zexion immediately charged off in another direction. Vincent was pretty sure that he would run into one of the others, because they were already at the park.

And once again, he was right (Is Vincent ever wrong?). Zexion had run towards the 'Chocobo Maze Mansion', and had literally charged into Demyx.

"Gah! Oh, hey there Zex! 'M glad you finally made it!" Demyx said with glee, waving at the small child before picking him up. "Bet you're pretty excited about this whole thing, aren't you?" Demyx asked him, and Zexion grinned and nodded, making a silly weird noise. Like 'Hurrrr!', I guess. Demyx just laughed with him, before lifting his hand up and attacking Zexion with it, tickling him as much as possible.

Poor Zexion was flipping out from the attack and was even crying from laughing so hard! He tried to grab Demyx's hand so he would stop, yelling, "S'op, s'op!" the whole time. Finally, Demyx obliged, now laughing just as hard.

"Why is he crying?" Came Yuffie's voice.

Demyx jumped, and noticed that Yuffie's head was on his shoulder, looking at him… creepily. "No, I uh, he—" He tiggled me!" Zexion interrupted Demyx's stuttering, and looked to his mom. He then pressed to finger's into Demyx's stomach and continually twisted them around, saying, "Tiggle tiggle tiggle!" over and over again.

Demyx laughed and pulled Zexion's hands away as he walked away from Yuffie and into the big ol' mansion. "You sure you want the kid to go in there with ye'? Them Chocobo's are damn scary looking," Said a blonde man, who had been earlier introduced as Cid, another old friend of his and Zexion's parents.

"Yea, he'll be fine. He will probably just name them all or something," Demyx said, smiling and walking through the big doors.

It was yellow. Very, very yellow. The walls, the floor, the furnishings. Everything was yellow. And of course, everything was chocobo themed. So the chairs looked like chocobos, the tables had chocobos all over them, and there was a psychotically elaborate chocobo mural on the ceiling. Both males' reactions were, "Whoa…"

They wandered in and out of every room, passing a few people every now and then. They had just stumbled into the nice chocobo flavored bathroom when Demyx was shooed from it, very confused. "Ge' out, I has ta pee!" Zexion told him, pushing on the backs of his legs. "But I don't think these toilets are meant to be used-" Demyx said, confused. He sighed and began thinking, about stuff.

He remembered in passing that Yuffie had told him how Zexion used to be so polite, always saying stuff like,

"I has to go the bafroom, please," or,

"May I go read instead? 'M done wiff mah food,".

What an influence he was to the small boy.

As he came out of his thoughts, he realized that he was no longer in the mansion. Oh crap, it happened again!

Sometimes, when he was thinking to himself, Demyx would wander around aimlessly, even if he was hanging out with friends and he just spaced out. Now he had gone and left his parents' friends' son in a huge-ass mansion. Crrraaaaaaaaaaaap.

He immediately turned and tried to get back in, but Cid stopped him. "'Ey, you need another fuckin' ticket to get in. What the hell were you thinkin', I'd just let you in 'cuz yer related to Spikey? Fuck off! Come back when you have another damn ticket," He grumbled, shooing Demyx away.

Demyx tried to persuade him. "But I left Zexion in there—"I don't care. Go get another damn ticket!" Cid interrupted, flicking his cigarette at him. Demyx growled and ran off to Cloud.

"Dad, I need a ticket! Please, hurry!" He yelled, as he skidded to a stop in front of him. "I'm out, go ask Leon," Cloud said, shrugging. "I'm right here," Leon said, raising an eyebrow. "And I'm not giving you any of mine. Go buy your own," He said.

Demyx nearly died, before sighing loudly and running off to the others.

By the time he actually got another ticket, it had been an hour. One flip flappin' hour of leaving Zexion alone in that damn mansion! Demyx ran up to the estate, panting with his hands on his knees.

"So yer back, eh?" Cid asked loudly, grabbing his ticket and practically kicking him into the manor. "Yea, yea, whatever!" Demyx snapped back at him, immediately running up the main stair case. He was running down a hallway in the direction he thought the bathroom was in when he passed a door with a sign on it.

He stopped, and read it:

'DO NOT DISTURB'

It said, in horrifically sloppy handwriting, it obviously having to belong to that of a toddler. So Demyx walked into the room and looked around. When he found what he was looking for, he nearly died from laughter.

"Oh my god, Zexion! What are you wearing?!" He asked, snorting. The small Zexion was wearing nothing but a pair of white boxers decorated with chocobos and a big fuzzy pale yellow blanket. Zexion just stared at him, holding a makeshift scepter in his hand.

"BOW DOWNUH!" He yelled running over and bopping Demyx in the knees with his staff. Demyx yelped from the pain, but followed the other's orders anyway.

"Ok, ok your lord. But you must know that we have to go, the park is closing soon!" He said, only to be bopped in the head.

"NO!" Zexion shouted, stomping a foot.

"How about 'yes'," Said a different voice, one which was calm and deep, and unmistakably belonging to Vincent.

Both Zexion and Demyx looked up at him. Demyx grinned and hopped back up to his feet, much to Zexion's dismay. Vincent walked over and picked Zexion up from under his arms, and held him to his chest. "The peasant is right, your Highness. The park is closing, and it is way past your bed time," Vincent said, walking out of the room and mansion with Demyx in tow.

Zexion was not happy. "No, No!" He snapped. "Off wiff yer head, OFF WIFF YER HEAD!" He continued, repeatedly bopping his father on the head with his staff. Vincent, amazingly, was able to ignore the pain. Everyone looked at him in confusion, but thought it best to say nothing as they all loaded themselves into their cars (With Mr. Cid glaring at Demyx as he locked up the gates).

Once they were driving home, with Demyx hitching a ride with the Valentine's, Zexion asked him an extremely vital question.

"Mah birfday's soon. Yer comin', right?" He asked in a rather threatening voice. Demyx just stared at him, before smiling and nodding.

"Of course!" He said, grinning and patting Zexion's head.

IT IS DONE. Two more chapters after this, who knows when I'll get around to doing them though…