28BWAHAHAHA! I'm evil! And no evil person could own Twilight, right? You are correct! Every time there is a * (in bold) it is me standing there saying, thats what she/he said! Just cuz I love that joke and I felt funny today. EEEEEEPOV!
"Come on!" Kate was dragging me up the stairs. "Eleazar! Edwards stealing some of your clothes!" She called up.
"I heard. Knock yourself out!" he said, at normal volume, in reply.
She ran into his room and into the closet. She was leafing through his clothes when she started throwing clothes at me.
"Put those on." she commanded. "And these." she threw back more. When I said I was done, she turned around and checked.
"You look perfect. I have to go get dressed now. You wait in. . .the dieing room, OK?" They called their living room the dieing room because technically, we're not alive. I was wearing simply a pair of nice jeans and a button up shirt a shade lighter then the black of the pants. I walked down and waited for her.
When she walked down, I did a double take. Kate, or the Kate I knew, wore jeans and tee shirts. That's it. This 'Kate' wore a pair or light blue low rise skinny jeans. You could see her black underwear against her snowy white skin. She had on heels that could double as a step stool and were practically made of straps. She had on a maroon halter top. I groaned. I would be dragging people away from her all night. That would be the price of being a gentleman.
"Edward? Wee woo! Edward?" Kate yelled -was she ever queit?- to me. I nodded. "Dont be a gentleman tonight. I can defend myself from pervs and creepers. You no that." she teased and ran through every single time she had ever beaten me at anything physical. Even that time she beat me at Concentration.
"Fine. But any misconduct," she sent me a look, "that I cannot stand to wittiness, and cant intervene in, I will leave. That instant. And go home. And stay away for at least a week. From the entire state. Got it?"
She laughed and nodded. She stood at atteention and saluted "Yes sir, Sergent Puss sir!" she bellowed in a falsly deep voice. I cracked up.
"How about Major Awesome Edward of Amazing Handsomeness?"
"No way not-so-pretty boy." she remarked smiling as we walked out the door and started running.
"You have killed my heart you-not-so-pretty-and-not-really-a-lady-but-still-almost-a-female Kate."
"Im ok with that." she said as we walked up to the bar. "You know, it really wasnt doing that much before I killed it."
"ha ha!" I replied as we walked up to the bar.
"The usual Ken." she said to the bar tender, who wasa staring a little to low on Kate for my liking.
Wonder who the redhead is. I guess he could be her date, but she never comes with men. She leaves with them. If only she'd leave with me . . .
And thats when I decided that I shouldnt listen anymore. That and the fantasies were . . . inspired.
"What do you want to drink Edward?" Kate asked, jokingly.
"You know what I'd like to drink." * I replied, knowing how the bartender recieved that.
"true," she murmered, tapping her chin briefy. "A virgin screwdriver for the kind man!" she proclaimed. No really, she pointed and everything. The bartender burst out laughing, but poured another vile phile of liquid humans somehow found tasty.
I'm not sure if anyone knows this, but virgin screwdrivers are just orange juice. Kate gladly took her drink and we sat at the bar and talked.
"Kate, how is this different then talking at your home?" I asked, really what?
"I'm not sure. I like it here." she winked and I heard somewhere in a male head a hiss of Yes!
He swaggered up and started talking to Kate. Kate liked him, but I was sure that she'd never do the things that were running through his head. Would anyone?
"Kate dear?" I said tapping her*. What are you doing Edward?! her thoughts hissed to me"I'm going to go home. Not yours. Mine. I cant take you anymore. Or whatever your doing! I'm going home!" Now he was thinking of comforting her and she started to thank me and imagine her and that man doing things that were lewd. At best.
I had my vacation and I have cleared my head and it was time to go home, deal with my demons -or the demon- and be. A. Man.
OK, for thiose who dont read the upper authors note and disclaimer, all the * is me (or anyone) saying "Thats what she said" or "Thats what he said" depending oin the sentence. Ah well, fillers get less reviews so I gotta tell ya twice:
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