Total Dawn of War Randomness
K, the serious fanfic ( Daemon Hunter ) I'm working on turned out more tedious than I thought so I decided to do something random for a while.
It's not plotless. It's a way of expressing my love of violence.
I don't know what to call this kind of poem. What do you think ?
For the Waaargh and the Blood God !
A chaos champion and his group of cultists
conducting sacrifice in the middle of the forest.
Then crash in came an ork warboss,
Looking for something to toss.
'I got me some humies ! WAAAARRRRGH !'
And then he started shooting
the cultists, who started running. 'aaaaarrrrrgh !'
And he grabbed one in his mega-claw,
and throttled and rattled, crunched him in his jaws,
and thrwwaack ! smashed him into the ground.
Squash ! bash ! crrrrrk ! mop the soil with his head !
And then the chaos champion turned round,
"Vile Alien ! drop the worm and face me instead !"
And he raised his chain-axe, and smoke and fire erupted
And the ork threw his victim like a rag doll,
and the chaos lord grabbed it and threw it into the pit. "thanks
I mean … BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD !"
And he charged the warboss, and the latter charged him too
"I iz da biggest WAAARlord !"
And spores flew from the ork's skin, and drifted about,
Where they landed on the ground, a green fungus started to sprout,
They grew and grew until
In just a few seconds, there was a garden of gigantic sac molds.
To the chaos lord this was incredible to behold.
'So fast, how can this be ?
Is this some new technology ?"
"You'z right, humie !
It'z da new teknologee !"
And the ork stuck his claw into his fang-filled mouth,
And pulled out a book named 'Idiot's guide to making movies',
And turned to the page about 'time lapse photography',
And threw it at the Chaos lord's face,
And the latter was overcome with rage, and he went insane,
"I feel the warp overtaking me ! It's a good pain !"
And he grabbed one of the fungal sacs,
And kept wacking it with his axe.
Srrrrp ! Chop ! Prwwwaaackkk ! Rip open its skin !
And from within, emerged a frightened gretchin !
"P… please … no … more kicking !"
But the chaos lord kept hacking.
Flesh tearing ! Bones breaking ! Guts spilling ! Head rolling !
And then the warboss shouted "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH ! "
And on the tops all the sac molds opened,
And all the orcs, nobs, squigs, goblins and whatevers inside awakened.
And the chaos lord saw this and thought. "Now I must also summon my daemons !"
So he grabbed a fleeing cultist ( who couldn't run fast cos he injured his tendons ),
And chopped off his limbs, and before he fell, split open his chest,
And reached in and tore out his heart, throwing out the rest.
And the chaos lord held it up
"Come servants and minions of Nurgle, Tzeentch, Slaanesh and great Khorne !
Through this blood I offer, drink and be born !"
And the heart exploded in a shower of blood, which slowly coalesced,
Into forms horrifying and grotesque !
And they stared at the orks, and then they jumped each other,
The most violent battle ever !
Claws ripping, pincers snapping, tentacles groping, bloody hair mopping …
Jaws gnashing, fists smashing, spears gashing, armour clashing
or just THRASHING !
No second thought.
With all their might the warboss and the chaos lord fought.
All the powers and weapons they could bring to bear.
Nothing left to spare.
Kustom shoota, mega blasta, dakka dakka dakka dakka !
Power claws ! Mega claws ! Supa claws ! Fang filled jaws ! chomp ! chomp ! chomp ! chomp !
Red iron gob ! The strength of da biggest nob ! stomp ! stomp ! stomp ! stomp !
"Warboss angry ! Warboss SMASH !" Who can survive the mad ork's bash ?
Possessed guns ! daemon sword ! accursed crozius ! claws of the Warmaster !
Chaos armour ! daemon gauntlets ! the undivided Chaos banner !
"Death to those who refuse to turn ! burn ! burn ! burn ! burn !
By the Blood God's will ! Kill ! Kill ! Kill ! Kill ! "
"Chaos will not be denied !"
"Orks iz da biggest and da strongest !" the greenskin replied.
Neither gave up.
And even exhausted they refused to shut up.
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD !"
"SKULLS - FOR – THE - SKULL - THRONE !"
"BLOOOOOOOD FOOOOORRRR …
… TTTTTHHHHHE BLOOOOOOOD GODDDDDD !"
"WAAARGH FOR THE …"
"… SKULL GOD !"
And as the two of them screamed each other into confusion
There was a great explosion,
And then did the sacrificial pit collapse,
And most of the orks and daemons fell in through the resulting rock gaps,
But the warboss and the chaos lord did not follow,
as they've been grabbing each other and refused to let go.
You see, the cracks weren't that wide,
To let two struggling bodies fit inside !
To the count of three they leapt back to the far sides,
Safe from the reversing chaos tides.
And laughing, the ork warboss and the chaos lord,
Together shouted, "FOR THE WAAARGH AND THE BLOOD GOD !"
That's all for now :)
Have a nice day/night,