Warning: I do not own the Death note or its charaters…unforunately. This is a Mello/Near story. Yes that means Yaoi. There will be violence, there will be blood, there will be lemons and what ever else inappropriate I can fit in I will try to fit in...because... I just like it.

Unfortunately I have a soft spot for fluffy first chapters.

"The butterfly never meets its mother. It must survive independently and remains a stranger to affection. An animal nurtured by mother's milk, however, is dependent on another for its basic survival. A child who grows up in a cold and detached home environment is similar to the butterfly, in that kindness is sparing. Once an adult, it will be very difficult for that person to show compassion."

I raised my head staring at the white haired boy sitting in that isolated corner he always sat in, casually playing with the toys littered all around him like an impenetrable fortress of soulless beings built for his protection.


I blinked. "Huh?"

"What are you staring at?" Matt asked keeping his eyes focused on the game he was playing. I took a bite out of my chocolate bar and brought my eyes back to the book I was reading.

A gentle motion of flapping wings.

"A butterfly."

The Motion of Emotion

By: Philotheas

There are days when I lock myself up in my room and I am unable to move an arm or a leg, I barely even blink, I just stare out my window and let my endless swirl of thoughts wrap itself around my until I am tightly snuggled and confined within them. These were one of those days. After recess I headed straight to my room and collapsed lifelessly on my bed. Roger appeared awhile later and asked me why I skipped my remaining classes.

"I don't feel good." I explained

"Why, are you sick."


"My head, it hurts a lot." I emphasized, placing my hand on my hand and wincing.I wasn't really sick and my head wasn't really hurting but I knew if I told him that it would make him leave.

"Well alright, I'll send the nurse up to check on you."


"Your work will be sent up later, understand?"

I nodded and turned my head burying my face in the pillow next to me until I heard the door shut. Sighing I pulled the pillow down to my chest spreading my arms out on the bed.

I've never really taken notice until today, how lonely Near must be. Though, I can't stand him most of the time. It's still kind of…


No matter what happens, I know I have Matt to talk to, in any event that might take place, Matt's always there, but Near he has…


I laughed a little maybe that's what he deserves, with that pompous; know it all attitude of his. He thinks he better than me. He doesn't deserve the company of others; he deserves to be…


I found myself thinking like this, thinking about Near, thinking about his feelings all of sudden because… Near did something today, something I have never seen him do in the five years I've known him.

"A butterfly?" Matt asked looking up from his game, "In the middle of winter?"
he looked around.

"You liar"

I coughed. "It just flew out the window."

Matt narrowed his eyes. "The window's not even open wise guy"

"It was… a magical butterfly."


"Pfft" I couldn't keep a straight face.

"Lay of the chocolate will ya" Matt responded unpausing his game. He rose to his feet. "Anyway I'm gonna head to class early, you coming?"

"Nah I'll wait for the bell."

" Matt shrugged"See ya in class then." his eyes never leaving the game as he retreated out the oak wood doors.

I focused my sight back to Nears corner where I could see, through the glass window above, the sun slowly setting down into the horizon; its dying rays flickered weakly within the room, over dusty old books, and outdated furniture, onto the foil of my chocolate and over Nears scattered toys but it was when that dying flame reached Nears eyes that I saw it; something glistening in those pair of obsidian opals. His arm had been zooming slothfully in the opposite direction, a toy clutched tightly in his hand and it was at that moment I registered the image of tears in Nears eyes. The sun set them ablaze as if they had suddenly been set on fire, causing Near to squint slightly, and allowing the liquid flames to escape and flow freely down his pale cheek. My eyes widened.

"He was crying."

But not in the way you and I cry. His brow neither raised nor furrowed, his nose never wrinkled or flared, and his mouth didn't frown or tremble. His expression remained as it was, still and stoic, his eyes blank like a lifeless doll even though so much emotion flowed wildly out of them. He didn't stop to wipe the tears away, he didn't turn to try and hide them. He just let them fall over his clothing, and on floor continuing to play with his mountain of toys. I took a huge bite of chocolate before I decided to walk over to him.

"Near…?" I said raising a brow.

"Hm?" he slowly dropped his arm and looked calmly up at me.


"I am?" he casually touched his cheek

"Oh, I hadn't noticed" My eyes widened further in disbelief. I bent down to my knees and outstretched my hand towards his blank eyes.

"You're an idiot" I said wiping away his tears.

"You solve all these damn puzzles in a matter of mere seconds but can't even solve the puzzle to your own feelings?"


Near brought a finger to his hair.

"How…how do you solve a puzzle you've lost all the pieces to?"

My hand stopped.

"Briing…. Briing" the sound of the towers bell rang loudly throughout the walls of the room and for all who heard it, knew that it was signaling the start of evening classes. Near rose to his feet cradling an abundance of toys in his small arms. Without saying another word he vanished through the exit door leaving no trace of his presence behind and leaving me with an enlightening thought.

His words and been so simple, it was hard not to understand.

I have to end it here; I just have to… my hands hurt. … There are probably many mistakes. I'll fix them later… To the readers who are liking it so far please drop a review…that is the sustenance of my writing force, I can't transform without them…