All of the characters and ideas for the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. (Sadly)
The Volturi. That's how I knew I would die. I was going to go to Italy and have a little visit with them. I was going to have them kill me. I got in my car and drove to the nearest airport. I tried not to think about anything, but failed miserably. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the image of my poor Bella drowning. I shuddered at the thought, and pressed my foot on the gas even harder. I was going 100 now.
Bella. I was never going to see her again. Even when I had left, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to be able to stay away. I had even been planning to go check on her, before Rosalie called. Bella was my reason for existence, but now she was dead.
I still couldn't get past the idea of Bella being dead. I was never going to get to feel her warmth against my cold skin. I wasn't going to hear her musical laugh, or see her beautiful smile. I would never get to watch her sleep again, or hear her quietly mumble my name. I could never again hold her in my arms with such love, and her hugging me back with the same feelings. I would never feel her soft lips against mine, or have to gently restrain her when she wanted to go further than possible. I would never get to see the absolute love in her eyes as she gazed into mine. I would never smell her floral scent, and the delicious scent of her blood that I craved. The thought still set my throat on fire. My Bella.
Bella had been the person who had accepted me for who I am. She loved me despite the creature that I am. She was not afraid of me as most people would be. She had felt comfortable around me, and I felt the same. I had quickly introduced her to my family, and they immediately loved her. Well, except Rosalie, but that was only because she has a hard time dealing with what we are.
Emmett loved her clumsy nature. He thought it to be funny, laughing whenever Bella so much as blushed. When he would laugh, she would blush even redder, and he would laugh harder.
Alice of course loved Bella like a sister. Bella was her key to the human life she never had. Most of us could slightly remember our human lives, but Alice couldn't. So, Alice would dress Bella up in outfits that Bella hated, but I admittedly loved. She would do her makeup and take her out on ridiculous shopping sprees that Bella also hated because of the money spent on her.
Jasper had obviously struggled with Bella being around, but he too considered her part of the family. He felt terrible about having to be so cautious around Bella, but he loved her, too.
Esme had been ecstatic when I had found Bella. She had hated seeing me without love. When I found Bella, Esme had welcomed her in with open arms. Bella was her child too.
Carlisle loved Bella just as much as the rest of us. He too was glad that I had finally found love. I was his first son, and having my life be complete in that way, made him happy.
Bella had brought so much life to our family. (A/N: No pun intended.) She brought out the human in us from where it had been hiding since our transformations.
I had had every intention of marrying her. I wanted to be there with her as she grew old, always by her side. Then, eventually when her time came, I knew I would follow after. I had always known I would follow Bella when she died, but I certainly never imagined it would be so soon, or like this.
Throughout the car ride, I couldn't stop the aching feeling of knowing that I had ultimately been the cause of her death. I had killed my love, whether it was directly or not. If I had just stayed with her, I could have kept her safe. Without me there, anything could hurt her, even herself.
After a while, it started to get dark, the sun almost setting. I remembered a conversation I had had with Bella. We had been sitting in my car talking about each other. It had gotten late, and Charlie was going to be home soon. Bella had asked what time it was. "Twilight," I had replied. I had told her that the night was the best time of day for my kind, but it was too predictable.
Now, sitting in the same car at the same time, I was still missing my love. I missed her so much. When I had left, I spent my whole time trying not to just curl into a ball and sob. Through all of the pain I felt, I had comforted myself in knowing that Bella was safe. She would never have to deal with vampires again. She had even promised to keep herself safe. This is what kept me going, knowing that my intentions at least were honorable.
But now, without Bella here, ceasing to exist, I felt as though I simply could not continue. A world without Bella is certainly no world at all.
Would I get to see her again? Maybe… maybe, somehow, Carlisle was right, and vampires could go to heaven. Maybe we did have a soul. Maybe, maybe I would get to see Bella again. After all, if Carlisle thought it was possible, then it was probably true.
But then, the thought of what I truly am the terrible creature that I am, crept into my mind. I had been silly to think for a second that a killer like me could go to a place of absolute perfection. I, a vampire, could not be allowed to go to a place where an angel like Bella would be. If, somehow, we do have souls, then I was not going to go to heaven. I was going to burn in hell for eternity.
If Bella were here, she would be raging with anger. She probably would have hit me. I chuckled at the thought of her thinking she could hurt me. I could still perfectly picture every detail on her beautiful face, even without seeing it for months. At least being a vampire can be useful sometimes. You never forget anything. Because of this, I remembered everything about Bella and the times we had spent together. Every single minute together was ingrained in my mind. Even the bad ones. Especially the one where I left. I cringed at the dark memory, knowing it was the reason things were the way they were. Angry at the monster in me, I pushed the gas pedal even harder, hitting 120.
I was close to the airport now. Soon, I would be on my way to Italy.
So, what do you think? Sorry it took so long for me to update, but I have been way busy. It may take a while for me to update sometimes, and I am sorry for that. But anyways, please review! I only have like two. Please? I will be greatly appreciative.