This is a crossover between Full Metal Alchemist and Harry Potter (but in the Marauder time... cause I don't like harry... ;))

'Ugh... where am I?' Ed rubbed his head in pain. He sat up in the bed and looked down; he was still dressed-which was good- and it appeared that no-one was around-which was better.

He pulled the sheets off of him and hopped out of the bed, finding his shoes next to him. He quickly pulled them on and saw that there was a curtain surrounding the bed.

He opened the curtains to see what appeared to be a communal hospital room.

Ed crept across to what seemed to be the exit (it was a huge wooden door in a stone wall) and pushed the door. It swung open and he stepped out into the hall. The hall was long and had stone walls and a stone floor.

He found it to be quite cold and was a little lost.

A loud bell rang through the hall and he could soon hear voices... a lot of voices. Steps seemed to be coming his way, and he tried to get back into the hospital-like room but it seemed to be locked.

'Ugh, did you see Snape in potions? He seems to be getting greasier every minute!' a voice said.

'I know! I don't think Slughorn'll be able to read his work after that!' a different voice laughed.

Ed listened carefully, there was only three people coming his way. Easy enough to fight, if he had to.

'Hey! Who's that?'

Three boys came around the corner, two with black hair and one with blonde. They were all wearing black cloaks and each had a bag.

Ed gave up trying to get into the room and slumped against the wall. If he needed to, he'd transmute a hole to get through.

'Hey, kid!' one of them called, 'Are you a student?!'

Student? This place was a school?

'Come on, dude? Are ya?'

'Who are you?' called Ed.

'Who are you?' called the blonde.

'What is this ruckus about?' the door opened and an old lady came out. She had grey hair pulled into a bun under a white nurses hat and was wearing a grey dress with a white pinafore over it.

'What are you doing out of bed?' she turned to Ed.

'You know him, Heather?' asked the boy with the longer black hair.

'Mr Black! I told you not to call me that!' she scolded.

'Well, you know me Madam Whitley!' he smirked.

'And this boy is a patient of mine! Now get to class!'

'What?! No I'm not!' cried Ed, getting odd looks from the boys. 'Let go of me you old bat!'

Everyone gaped at him for a moment, until Madam Whitley tried to pull him through the door. 'Now, now dearie. Just be a good boy and get into bed.'

'No way! Who the hell are you?! Get off me!'

'Umm... madam Whitley? Who is this?' asked the boy with the shorter black hair.

'A boy we found unconscious in the halls, Mr Potter.' She replied, struggling to pull Ed through the doors.

Finally Ed broke free of her grip and ran down the hall.

'Get back here, boy! You're not well! You ought to be in bed!' Madam Whitley called after him.

Edward ignored her and kept running. He turned a corner and picked the second door he passed to hide in. He flung open the door and quickly closed it behind him.

After a few moments he heard steps coming closer. "Probably those boys" he thought to himself.

'Dude! Where the hell did that midget run off to?!' the boy called Potter said.

Edward bristled at the midget comment, and it took all of his self-restraint (which he always saved up for Mustangs short jokes. It was the only thing that kept him from being too violent) to stay quiet.

'I dunno! He was a fast little bugger!' said the other boy-Black.

"I'M NOT THAT SHORT!"Ed thought to himself again... very loudly.

'Come on! Let's keep going. He won't be able to keep running much longer at that speed.' Said the third boy, he was the blonde one.

Ed heard their quick steps fade away and then realised that he, himself, did feel quite dizzy.

He noticed that he was lying on the stone floor and that his head hurt before his vision went dark.

'Hey, is he waking up?'

'No, he couldn't possibly. He should be unconscious for another few hours, at least.'

'Hmm... so that's what you use on us after matches!'

'Indeed it is, Mr Potter.'

'Hey! What are ya doing, Heather?!'


'What are you doing, Madam Whitley?!'

'I'm going to undress him of course, Mr Black. How can I be expected to treat him when I do not know what his injuries are?'

That woke Edward up quite easily.

'WOAH!' His eyes shot open and he flew up into a sitting position. He noted that his red coat was missing, but was otherwise still dressed.

'Oh my goodness! How are you awake, child?' asked the nurse, Madam Whitley.

'Who cares?! Where am I? Who are you? And why the HELL did I hear you say that you were going to undress me?!' Ed raved.

The three boys seemed to be around his bed, standing behind a thoroughly shocked Madam Whitley.

'I'm James, this is Sirius Black and this is Remus Lupin.' stated the short-black haired boy.

'Yeah, and you're in the Hospital Wing.' said Sirius, the long-black haired boy.

'And Madam Whitley needs to see your injuries.' ended the blonde boy- Remus Lupin.

'What? What hospital? And I'm fine!' fumed Ed.

'You are in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now please take off your shirt.' ordered Madam Whitley.

'Witchcraft? Wizardry?' scoffed Ed, 'Do you think I'm stupid? There's no such thing as magic!'

Sirius groaned, 'He's a muggle?! Merlin's beard! How did he get in?'

'What the hell does muggle mean?!'

'It means that you aren't magical.' explained Remus.

'Huh? I don't get it.'

'You aren't a wizard.'

'Well duh! Neither are you!'

'Dude! MAGIC EXISTS!' shouted Sirius.

'NO IT DOESN'T!' Ed shouted back.

'BE QUIET!' screeched Madam Whitley.

'It doesn't exist. Magic is simply a fantasy man created to make children happier when they couldn't do alchemy.' stated Edward factually.

'It does exist!' insisted Remus. 'Besides, isn't alchemy magic?'

'No way! Alchemy is a science.' Ed strongly stated.

'Well, ya better get used to it kid. You're in a magic school.' grinned James.

Well... I don't know whether or not it worked... but I tried peoples!

Unfortunately, this next part must be said- even though I don't quite think my heart can take it:

I do not own Edward Elric... omg! I think my heart just shattered!

Or the Marauders... which is pretty saddening.

But I do own Madam Whitley... but there isn't really any pride involved in that statement.

I don't own alchemy or magic... but wouldn't it be so cool if I did!

And i don't own Hogwarts... but it would be funny being in charge of Dumbledore and stuffs. It's just too much work!

Soooos... that's all folks! ( I don't even own that!)

Amy! XD xoxox