Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare, or the many wonderful quotes I've borrowed here in attempt to retain his elevated style.
Some act-scene arrangements differ from Shakespeare's original play, and these scenes do vary in length quite a bit.
Please enjoy and review!
Act 1 Scene 1
Enter Galfore, the governor of Messina, with Starfire his daughter and Raven his niece, a messenger arrives.
Messenger (running and smiling) Signor Galfore, Don VicStone the Prince has returned and is headed to Messina!
Galfore (smiles back, strokes beard) And I've heard that the Prince has recently bestowed much honour on a young Count by the name of Robin.
Messenger (eagerly) Yes indeed! Robin's skills in battle surpasses the promise of his age. He, in the figure of a lamb, displays the feats of a lion!
Raven (pipes up) By the way, has Signor "Beast Boy" returned from the wars or no?
Messenger (puzzled) Signor "Beast Boy"?
Starfire: My cousin means Signor Garfield of Padua.
Messenger: Oh I see! He is back, and in the best of spirits!
Raven (side glancing) So…how many men exactly has he killed in battle? I did promise to eat his killing, but I haven't had any so far.
Galfore (chuckles) O niece, don't be so harsh on Signor Garfield!
Raven (sarcastically) Well, he's a good trencherman.
Messenger And a good soldier too, lady.
Raven: and a good soldier TO a lady. But what is he to a lord?
Messenger (innocently) Why a lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with honorable virtues.
Raven (smirks) He is no less than a stuffed man then, as for the stuffing—
Galfore Please don't be offended by my niece. There is a kind of "merry war" between her and Garfield, always a certain skirmish of wit.
Raven (laughs) Ha yeah! Last time, nine out of his ten wits went running off! I sure do hope his last wit makes a difference between himself and his horse!
Messenger (cautiously) He is not in your good books, is he lady?
Raven (widens eyes) No, absolutely not! If he were, I would burn my study!
Enter Don VicStone the Prince, Don Deathstroke the Bastard and the half brother of the Prince, Robin, and Garfield. Galfore and Don VicStone exchange greetings and pleasantries. Garfield joins in with his usual jokes.
Raven (approaches Garfield) I wonder why you're still talking, Signor Garfield. No one's listening to you.
Garfield (with an exaggerated smile) O, my dear Lady Disdain, I didn't know you were still alive!
Raven (cocks her head) Disdain cannot die when she has such food to feed on as Signor Garfield!
Garfield (laughs) Well, then how come all the ladies love me so much?
Raven: But I certainly don't. And I'll never love any man.
Garfield: I'm glad of that.
Garfield (stifles laughter) Because the poor gentleman would end up with his face all scratched!
Raven (laughs too) Don't worry, no scratching will ever worsen that face of yours!
Garfield: Why, you're a real parrot-teacher!
Raven: A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours!
Garfield: Wish my horse had the speed of your tongue.
Raven (resentfully) You always end with a jade's trick. I know you.
Exeunt all but Garfield and Robin
Robin: Gar, did you notice the daughter of Galfore? Isn't she a modest young lady?
Garfield: No, I mean, she's too tall for a sweet praise, too orange for a fair praise and too skinny for a great praise.
Robin: I'm not joking, Gar! Come on, tell me what you think!
Garfield: Since you're so curious about her, why don't you buy her?
Robin (dreamily) Can the world buy such a jewel?
Garfield: Yeah, and a pretty case to put her into too.
Robin (desperately) But isn't she just the sweetest lady you've ever seen?
Garfield: I can still see without glasses, but nope. I see no such thing. (Suddenly thoughtful) There's her cousin, and if she wasn't always possessed with a fury, exceeds her much in beauty.
Enter Don VicStone. Garfield soon tells him about Robin's affection for Starfire.
Don VicStone: Well she is a worthy lady.
Garfield: But Rob, it's dangerous to trust women, and for that, I will die a bachelor.
Don VicStone: You are always so against marriage Gar!
Garfield shakes his head smiling sadly, and walks off.
Robin (romantically) My lord, I am overwhelmed with such tender longing. My soft fantasies all prompt me to see how beautiful young Starfire is. Yet I fear that she will not accept me.
Don VicStone (smiles mischievously) Leave that to me, dear friend. At the masked ball tonight, I will woo her for you, speak with her father, all the while pretending to be you. Before long, (with a confident finality) she will be yours.