Prologue

It was a normal day in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the greasers were greasing. All seemed to be well for the Curtis gang, also. They sat and ate outragious proportions of chocolate cake swimming in chocolate milk, Ponyboy smoking the newly discovered chocolate cigerette.

Darrel re-read the last page of the newspaper once more, searching for any danger that could be treading in the Wanted section, while Sodapop and Steve starred at each other lovingly, praying for there comrads to excuse themselves. Two-Bit, always one for a good sport, gulped down his tenth bottle of beer while Mickey Mouse danced across the screen, Dallas Winston cursing in a corner, jabbing his switch blade at an invisible foe.

Yes, all was well at the Curtis household.

That is, until a certain Johnny Cade came sobbing through the door, blubbering and blabbering and waving his arms through the air in such a way that he'd give Chicken Little a run for his money. "There coming! There coming! Oh, God, there coming!"

Ponyboy leaped to his feet, while Soda and Dally flexed their muscles in what I'm sure they believed to be an intimidating manner.

"Why, who's coming Johnny Cakez?" Pony asked, a genuine look of idiocy wiped across his face.

"Whoever it is, we will wipe the ceiling with their tuchies!" Two-Bit proclaimed, throwing his fist in the air like Bender from the Breakfast Club (which Emilio Estevez also starred in).

"No! No...you don't understand!" Johnny shrieked, "They can't be stopped!"

"Who can't be stopped?" Dallas growled, now leaning against the doorframe and smoking a cigerette.

A moment of silence followed, sticking to the air like butta, before dear Johnny pulled himself together enough to speak the English language;

"The M-Mary-Sues!"