Wolf's Idea…

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Except my plotline, I thought it up all by myself… yippee for me… Course if someone wants to give me wolfram for my birthday or something that would be awesome. Feel free. But I might kill Conrad. Sorry, but not really. XP.

A: N/ This is a yurram from Wolf's POV. It's my first and I thought it was good… Therefore you think it's good too. (That or you don't feel like flaming a brand new writer.). :) ~Graci!

x-X-x

Yuri just got kicked in the face. People get pissed when they're harshly awoken at 3 in the morning with a boot in their face. Go figure. It spiraled down to something along the lines of,

"Wolf, for the last time we aren't getting married."

"What the hell, you proposed to me." Stupid wimp. "You can't

just dump me, it's degrading."

"Let's see, you're rude to me, my mom flipped when I said I was getting married to a guy; even if ex-y, sexy queen didn't, and I'm not gay like you. You don't love me, I don't love you, and this is all for appearances and it sucks, so screw off."

I won't stand for this degradation. Wolfram marched out of the room (in a pink nightgown, ha ha ha). I wonder if he would love me if I knew his mother… I got it! Ulrike, she can help. So off he went to see the great one. (A/N: for my story, he is going to get to Ulrike's at like 6 a.m. this fight takes place at like 4 in the morning. I could do this differently but in all honesty I don't want to. I can't so much as put up a pitiful argument at 4 but these guys have insomnia problems and are combative. So, yea… I'm going to shut up now. :D!)

x-X-x

She was praying when he walked in. The shrine maiden, Ulrike, looked like an eight-year old with her floor length silver hair and was cute though actually being 800 years old. He strolled into the grand hall and bowed out of respect.

"Hello, I came to ask you to transport me to the human realm, earth, of my fiancé's origin to meet his mother. I would appreciate this very much. So hurry it up, cause Yuri's on a power trip. Also Yuri must not know that that's where I am so no telling, he should be transported after me a three days later, so I can bond with his mother."

I may need some time to get used to this woman. I don't even know her name. What does she look like? Shit, that's something I should've asked. Oh well, a few days will help my tolerance for her.

The girl turned around and smiled smugly.

"So you need help. I dunno, you were kind of mean to me. When I had the honor to meet King Yuri you ruined it. I suppose I could ask the Great One because I'm nice, but," Always a "but", why can it never just be "sure, It's my great honor to be of assistance to Lord Bielefeld."," you must apologize to me first. "

Damn it, what a brat.

He smiled sweetly and really over did it. " I apologize for being rude; I just know how flirty my fiancé is. It was not meant to insult you all; it's more to control him." Brat. Hate you. Why would he want you when he has me?

"Well, I suppose since you asked so nicely," she shut her eyes," Great One."

"…"

"…"

"Yep, works for me. Bye." I love gullible people. So stupid. Ha. It's just too easy.

x-X-x

COVANENT CASTLE (9 a.m.)

"I love early morning bathes." Wolf smiled to himself. As he walked he bumped into Gwendal.

"Brother, I am going to take a short morning bath then depart alone to the castle. I wish to go alone solely for silence and I'm sure you understand. I am not sure when I shall depart, but, to avoid company I insist you tell the others after my disappearance is noticed."

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted. May I depart alone, then?

"Yes, be very careful, Wolfram."

"Thank you brother, you've been very helpful.

And I'm in the clear to leave!

He walked down the hall and into the bath-house when he was just outside the bath he stripped off his shirt. As he moved to his pants he slipped back ward and fell into the whirlpool. Oh my god what the hell is happening?

x-X-x

Earth

Wolfram climbed out of the small tub of water just as a woman with a frilled dress and brunette hair walked in and stared at him sopping wet half-naked in her bathroom.

"Oh, hello you don't have wings either. Too bad. Who are you?"

"I would like to know who you are. Am I on Earth?"

"Well, okay. I'm Yuri's mom Jennifer, you are on Earth, and your one Yuri's demon friends, right."

"You're his mother. That's great. I'm Wolfram von Bielefeld, Yuri's fiancé."

Jennifer then made a very loud scream and ran to hug Wolfram.

"Oh I'm just so glad to meet you. My little Yuri's boyfriend. Of course I thought he would marry a girl, but he was right when he called you beautiful. Oh look at your hair it's as lovely as Yuri said; oh and your eyes are so foreign, but I adore that shade of green. I'm going to have a beautiful son-in-law. Oops, he always fights with you so you probably weren't supposed to know that since Yuri's shy, but oh well. Don't forget, no telling him I said that. Promise."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Jennifer."

"Oh call me Jenny, no mom, your Yuri's fiancée so that's traditional-"

"After marriage, so that's not necessary Jenny." He stated sharply, she ignored it.

"Ok well I'll take you to Yuri's rooms you can tell me about yourself then I'll cook you something, and we can get you some of Yuri's clothes and I'll put that in the washer, and if Yuri's clothes fit okay I'll go buy you some."

Jesus she smiles a lot. I thought she be madder about Yuri getting married, mother wasn't either though. A least now I know why he's a wimp. She cooks and goes to make clothes when she has visitors. My mother can't so much as begin to read a recipe.

"It looks like you have longer arms than Yuri so I may have to take you shopping with me." She dragged him into Yuri's room and nudged him onto the bed.

"Why can't you just dry my clothes?"

"Honey, your half naked, that's not presentable and you have to have clothes here so you can come visit me again, unless you meant to be like this, which is a little weird."

"Yeah, I forgot I don't have a shirt. Ok I suppose if you can find me an outfit I'll leave mine outside the door." She skipped to the dresser and pulled out some blue jeans and a light blue shirt. She laid it on the bed and left to cook.

I suppose she's… nice. So he talks about me. He thinks I'm PRETTY? Damn it, guys are supposed to be handsome or sexy or hot, not BEAUTIFUL… I'll kill him! Of course imagine going up to your own mom rather than a weird one like mine and saying "Heya Mom, I got new fiancé and HE is really sexy. How fun would that be to explain. That also means he likes to talk about me. Which means he likes me more than he says, not that I care.

Wolf pulled pants (and weird under-short-like things) on and slipped into the blue shirt. He walked to the other side of the room and opened the door. BAM! Awesome smell ninjas itself out of nowhere. He followed the aroma to the kitchen and sat down to realize a completely foreign dish. Looked like green pods, orange disks, yellow kernels, and small, round green balls mixed with hunks of meat in diluted brown water.

That has to be the nastiest looking crap I've ever seen, but my god. How does it smell so good?

"What is it?"

"It's stew, silly. You know yummy stuff with green beans, cooked carrots, corn, peas, meat, and broth. It's simple enough stick a fork in it and dig in."

He sat down and did that. He stabbed one of the pods and a slab of meat. It was good. Juicy, hot, mouthwatering. As good as home food. He took the first bite than after he tested it out he devoured the bowl and got another.

"So…" she began," were you homeschooled?"

"Yes I was." Chewed and swallowed

"That's cool. Who do you usually see at the castle?"

"Mother, Gwendal, Gunter, Greta, Anissina, Conrad, sometimes Gisela." Drank some brown stuff. It was surprisingly good.

"Who are they to you?" Another bite.

"Mother is just that, obviously; Gwendal and Conrad are my elder brothers; Gunter helps tutor Yuri, is an advisor, and ruler of one of the domains; Greta is Yuri's and I's adopted daughter; Anissina is the ruler of a domain, like Gunter, and possibly Gwendal's love interest, and Gisela is Gunter's daughter and a doctor."

"Oh, NO!"

"What's wrong Jennifer?"

"You and Yuri can't have a daughter."

"She's our adopted daughter, so it's okay?"

"You think I mean that?"Wolf nodded."No what I meant is that I don't want to be a grandma… I like you and I'm sure Yuri's daughter is very nice like Yuri and she's probably cute like you, I just don't want to be old." She whined.

Wolf finished the last bit of meat in the bowl. Jennifer bustled over to take it away to the sink.

So he just thinks I'm pretty, I bet he'd like me if I was a girl…Or looked like one. That's it! I'm a genius.

"Jennifer."

"Yes?"

"Can you help me with something?"

She nodded," I need you to make me look like a girl."

"Why? I will, of course because that would be a lot of fun for me, and there's a wig shop with your exact hair color, but why?" Totally schizophrenic, this woman was psycho.

"Because," Damn it, what's with the skeptical look? She guessed didn't she. I suppose I can tell her."Promise not to tell Yuri, and watch you insolence because you told me Yuri thought I was beautiful and I know he didn't want me to know that."

She smiled sweetly." Of course, I won't tell. Yuri always tells me your pretty when I ask how his fiancée is "arrogant, prettier than any girl I've ever met, and vain." Of course talking to you I can tell you're trying to be nice to me, so I know your rough around a person you know and that makes sense, of course with the first two I know he's only teasing."

"Fine then, I want to see if Yuri would like me as a girl." I know that I would look like mother so I'll model my look after and old picture of her but I don't know how to shop."

She walked to the counter and grabbed keys. Let's go then. She grabbed his arm and walked him outside then put him in one side of a metal shiny looking thing. She then walked to the other side and closed her door.

"Wolf, can you work a seat belt?" He shook his head, and she did something he would never dream of.

She leaned over him to the upper right side of his seat and pulled a band down over him then put his arm through part of it and clicked it down. She patted his hair and turned the key in the hole. It revved to life, making him jump.

How dare she, she is treating me, Wolfram von Bielefeld, like a little child. He scoffed internally. If she was not helping me, I wasn't in the human world, and she wasn't Yuri's mother I would incinerate her sorry ass.

When they got the mall, Wolf was thoroughly car sick and no longer pissed off. He stepped out of the car and looked at the giant multilevel market in awe. She offered her hand politely.

Hell no. How weak does this woman think I am? As he got out of the car he stumbled from the car sickness and fell.

"Ouch, that looked fun." She laughed.

"How dare you…"

"I'm kidding, silly, drop your pride. If I'm going to make you a girl you won't need it. Let me help you up."

She gave him her hand and, after trying to get up again, he grudgingly took it. He leaned against her lightly, for support, and wiped off his shirt then as he leaned away she grasped his hand again. Jennifer, with Wolf in tow, burst in and went to the teenage section.

How the hell does this help me?

"Okay I know your pant size I just need to measure this to your arms. Hold an arm out." Wolf stuck his arm out, and Jenny measured his arm to the sleeve.

"Do you want to pick your boy clothes, or do you just want me to get you some and then we can work on girl clothes? Or do you want to pick all your clothes."

"Just only get me stuff Yuri would wear. He's coming in three days so I need to be a girl by then." She grabbed 5 shirts, measured his legs and grabbed 5 pairs of blue jeans.

After 20 minutes she grabbed his arm and announced," I'm done. Do you want to try something on to be sure it fits? I think its okay, though."

"If you think its ok than I'm sure it is," he grabbed a shirt. In bold black letters across the front it said, HYDE. (But what in the hell is HYDE? Must be some brand of food or a game like hide and go seek.)

"Okay, my favorite now, dresses! I think you would look good in a nice light green but not like puke green more like leaf green or a dark-ish seductive blue to bring out your eyes. After we're we can get you a white t-shirt and have a make-up artist and manicurist. We can go to a wig shop after and get you a long, back length blonde wig like the one in the picture. You're too muscular so we can put the dress on at home and get you a body thinner to accentuate curves, although you have good hips, then we can get you a special bra to give you boobs while we're shopping but first lets go get something to eat."

"Food? Why?"

"Yep, you're going to be my son-in-law, or should I say daughter-in-law so I'll treat you to some Outback Steakhouse. They have totally awesome bread."

She smiled.

x-X-x

Outback Steakhouse?

They walked into the place and as Jen said, table for two, Wolf noticed something- It smells REALLY good in here.

They got to the table and were given menus by a redhead staring at him; she looked to be 17 and reminded him vaguely of Anissina of Shin Makoku. Naturally this scared the hell out of him after many years of his brother Gwendal's turmoil.

"So a nice mother-son outing, how sweet. I'm Arianna and I'll be your server today, may I get you anything to drink." She spoke solely to Wolfram.

"Ah… um… Jen… I'd like to try what every Mother is having. I don't care what it is." He cringed into his seat and hid behind the menu.

"Oo-okay, what would YOU like to drink, miss?"

"Cherry Coke for both of us, thank you." HOW can you smile at that Anissina clone? The waitress walked away dejected after being treated like a monster.

"Are redheads rare like double blacks? Is that why you were surprised?"

"Nah I just know a redhead that looks like her but the other one is scary!"

"Yea, Yuri told me, Anissina right, she sounded interesting."

He laughed, "You have no idea." Jen ordered something with onions then steak. Steak he knew of but blooming onion. What is that supposed to be? "Do you like onions?"

"I guess that depends on what they are." The waitress came back with the food. Jen tore off a piece of crispy stuff, dipped it into sauce, and shoved it into her mouth; she then repeated and this time she offered it to him. "Do I eat it without silverware? Why would I do that?"

"It's called finger food. You just pick it up and eat. Now, try some." As he opened his mouth to refuse she put it in his mouth. He cocked an eyebrow and chewed.

Oh my god… that is good.

"That was… crunchy and sweet?" Hmm… all in all a good food.

"Okay then, try the bread. Wait, can you use a knife?"

"I'm not some common human child."

They ate quietly.

He had steak and it was really yummy; juicy with steak-sauce. It sort of tasted like the meat from Jen's stew with a different and less present (obviously not in the stew… duh) broth. All in all, very yummy.

"Okay now would you like to try on dresses or skirts? Do you have a personal preference? I saw a nice blue sundress but you are totally shaving you legs for that little number… So I was thinking full length just to save both of us that little experience."

"Yes that would be something to um… put off." Not that I know what in the hell shaving is but I won't tell her that. Oh well. "So, can we go now." Impatience seeped into his voice, though he was enjoying himself.

"Okay then just let me pay. You do get ruder the longer you know a person."

She once again took hold of his hand and began to tow him around. He would be lost without her; literally this mall was huge, what is the point of a place this big? No purpose at all… people here look really happy though.

They ended up in a JC Pennies with nine or ten girl's outfits and three mid length casual dresses in baby blue, a light vibrant green, and a black dress like mother's favorite, with smaller knee length slits and a scarlet sparkles and a circular buckle around the middle. Not to mention four or five stuffed size c-bras Jen was looking at amazingly short shorts when she started laughing.

"Are you having a problem?" He inquired nervously. He didn't know about Jen but Anissina's laughter meant trying life threatening inventions, Gisela's laughter meant working your ass off or testing new, possibly fatal medicine, mother's laughter meant being hugged and tormented and embarrassed while being questioned on the men you think are sexy in town, and Greta's laughter meant playing house until you fell asleep with your doll hiding in a pantry or worse still.

"Nah we can go home now. Hey, Wolf."

"Yeah."

She grinned sardonically," Tonight you can try a human thing on your own. Shaving."

A/n: Here's my first chapter and my first cliffhanger but it is a very minor cliffy… First story ever, so proud that I could make it through it. R&R please. I worked really hard to get this long enough to post because my stories usually are too short to bother with. I have the next chapter all thought out and it will be hilarious but you have to give me a reason to post or I'll discontinue… actually I've been working really hard on this so I probably won't discontinue but if you make me too sad I'll hit someone with a car or something (read Memories by Hajislover and you'll understand it. It's a blood+ fanfic. She wrote that on a good day.) … So, review away… they make me happy. Wolf likes reviews too. Tell him how pretty he'll look in drag. This is a non-beta story so don't pick on my grammer. GRACIAS XD!