Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon. Christopher Paolini owns Eragon. Plots found in Eragon belong to George Lucas, not Christopher Paolini.
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Prologue: Shade of Chickenheartedness

Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world. The red-haired sickly looking Shade called Durza balked at such a cheesy line. Had that thought actually passed through his mind? He blamed it on the Urgals behind him. Idiots. But never mind them at the moment, three elves would soon be upon them, and he needed to concentrate.

Snap. Concentration lost. Durza spun around and glared at the Urgal who was looking stupidly at a broken twig beneath his uplifted foot. Durza unsheathed his sword and held it up to the Urgal's neck.

"Be quite!" he hissed. The Urgal nodded. Durza began walking back to his place behind a broad tree when a root caught his booted foot. "Blast it!" he cursed as he fell to the ground. The Urgals around him snickered. He hastily got on his feet again and walked back to the tree. Thud. Another root. "Blast iiit!" he exclaimed, making sure to draw out the "i." The Urgals howled with laughter, filling the air with the harsh sound. The three elves approaching halted their horses and bolted in the other direction.

"No!" Durza screamed, springing off the ground and running after them. He miraculously caught up, even though the elves were mounted on some of the best horses in Du Waldenvarden. "Give me that!" He yelled, snatching a bundle from the middle elf's arms, making the her reign in her horse. The other elves followed suit.

"You are not a very nice man!" she screamed in return, taking the bundle back. Durza grabbed the bundle again. The two elves accompanying the elf-girl sprang in and aimed their bows at Durza.

"You idiots!" Durza yelled, turning around to face the still concealed Urgals. "Come and help me!"
The Urgals came back to life and charged at the three elves. The bow-wielding elves faced this new threat and began to fire. The elf-girl took the bundle back and turned her horse away. She stuck out her tongue at the Shade and spurred her horse to a gallop. "Incendio!" Durza yelled and the forestin a wide circle caught on fire, causing the elf-girl to halt.

Seeing her way was blocked she lifted the bundle exclaimed, "Mandar!"

"No!" Durza screamed as there was a blinding flash. "Blast it!" he yelled for the third time that night when he beheld the elf-girl empty handed. "Dejar sin sentido!" he said, aiming his hand at her. She gently fell to the ground, unconscious. He wished he had that much grace when falling, he thought, recalling earlier that night. "Go get her," he said icily to the Urgals who had by now beaten the two other elves senseless. They hastened to comply.

Did you like it? It wasn't quite as funny as I had hoped it to be, but Eragon's in the next chapter, so can I guarantee humor in that one. :D Please review!