A/N: Beta'd by 13cellardoors and vindictive87 over at lj.
New Bella
In some ways my room being exactly the way I left it is good. It's my stuff, it has to be updated, but it's lacking in the generic guestroom feel I was expecting. On the other hand it's a bit like a shrine to the girl I used to be, and that sort of creeps me out, just a little.
I feel like my dad still thinks of me as that girl who used to come and spend summers here, making sandcastles on the beach, and drawing pictures of rainbows and flowers. I didn't do either of those things in the last couple years here, but even then I think his idea of me was lagging behind. He didn't see me enough to notice the changes as they happened, and when I was here he saw the girl he wanted to see.
I stop rifling through my bag of clothes for a minute to look around. Everything in here was collected over my yearly month in Forks, trinkets and souvenirs that didn't make their way to my real home. I remember some things better than others. The little rubber penguin is from a trip to the zoo when I was... must have been eight. I liked giraffes better, but the ones the gift shop had were kind of weird-looking, their necks just a little too long and thin in proportion to their heads and bodies. On the other side of things there's some little troll-type creature with orange hair sitting on my desk that I have absolutely no memory of.
With a glance at my alarm clock, I go back to looking through my bag. It's already Thursday, making it five days that I've lived in Forks, and I still haven't unpacked. I'm sure the fact that the dresser is white with pink butterflies on it has nothing to do with my hesitance.
Pulling out a wrinkled blue shirt and some dark jeans, I get dressed, and run downstairs. If I don't leave in five minutes I'm going to be late.
Dad went to work nearly an hour ago, but he left a box of cereal on the counter for me with a note reminding me he wouldn't be here when I got home. The only reason he had been until today was because he'd been getting off early to be here.
I grab a handful of Cherrios, dump them in a coffee cup, and grab my sweater and coat on the way out the door. I need a better alarm clock. I need the kind of alarm clock that screeches in your ear till your ass is out of bed, or better yet I need an alarm clock that will physically hurt me if I don't move after five minutes. Something that'll actually get me out of bed even if I shut it off, 'cause I always shut it off.
00000
My car door whinges as it swings shut. With my backpack hoisted over one shoulder, I dig into my pocket to get my ear buds. They're in my hands, about to go into my ears, when I see Eric and Angie talking by the front of the school. It's second nature for me to put on my music, and just walk to class on my own. It's well within my comfort zone, free of social pressures, and the possibility of being judged for who I actually am. People can make all the assumptions about me that they want, but real judgments always get to me.
With a sigh I stick my ear buds back in my pocket, and make my way over to them. I'm being different this time. I'm being sociable. That's what fresh starts are all about right?
I smile at them as I get within a couple of feet. When they smile back there's some surprise mixed in, and I realize this is the first time I've initiated any kind of contact. Well, this is something Bella does now.
Talking about myself in the third person, on the other hand, that can stay gone.
00000
"What's wrong with you?" I mutter as I sit down next to Jess. Her chin is propped up on her palm as she stares forlornly across the cafeteria at a table occupied by four exceptionally pale people, and an empty chair.
"Jessica's lovesick," Mike responds mockingly.
"Shut up... I'm just worried."
"About what?" I ask, poking my plastic fork at something vaguely resembling chicken on my plate.
"Edward," Mike supplies with a dreamy sigh. His silent laughter turns into a flinch when Jess kicks him under the table, really hard.
"It's not funny. He hasn't been in school since Monday. Something might have happened to him," Jessica scolds.
"Who's Edward?"
"He's the one that looks like a vampire," Mike snickers.
Jessica hits him, with her hand this time, and says, "He means he's pale."
Well, that really narrows it down. "This town barely gets any sun, isn't everyone pale?"
"Yeah, but he's like never seen the sun in his life pale," Mike explains.
"Like a vampire," Eric cuts in.
"Exactly," Mike agrees triumphantly, and high-fives Eric.
"You shouldn't make fun of him for that," Jess says reproachfully.
Mike just waves her off, and turns to me to say, "You've seen him. He's in our biology class."
I shrug, turning my attention back to my "food", before muttering, "I don't know. I really don't know that many people's names."
"He sits beside you."
Weird Dude? She likes him? My gaze snaps up to look at Jess.
My... confusion must show because Mike smirks, and crows, "Exactly! See, Bella knows what I'm talking about." He puts his arm around my shoulders and squeezes when he says it, a sign of solidarity I guess. Not being the kind of person who enjoys touching, I fairly effectively extract myself out of his grasp. I say fairly effectively, because he doesn't seem to want to let go, so it isn't exactly easy, and it certainly isn't graceful.
Jess makes a kind of harrumph noise and begins poking at her food, still periodically glancing towards the empty chair.
"Are you coming to the movie with us on Saturday?" Eric asks me.
"Yeah, sure," I manage to get out after a couple moments of my deer in the headlights impression. Wow, I've really got to pull back on the enthusiasm before I hurt myself.
"Great!" Jess pipes up, her attention coming back to this table... our table, I guess. "Angela's coming to my place for a sleep over on Friday. You should come too!"
Oh crap.
"Umm..." I stall. I'm not sure I'm ready for the full-on girl-bonding experience. Not being the dive-in-headfirst type, I'd been hoping to ease into this.
"Oh, can I come too?!" Eric asks, shooting an exaggerated lascivious look at Jess.
"Umm..." Jess starts, scrunching up her face thoughtfully. "No."
"You're mean."
"Well, you're a little creepy," she counters, before flashing him a smile.
"Alright," I mutter, half-hoping no one will hear me.
"You'll come?" she asks happily.
"I will, but so help me god if you try to braid my hair," I say, with a finger pointing at her in warning. That shit will not be tolerated.
00000
"I don't know what I'm doing!" I screech frantically, as my fingers furiously press random buttons. "How do you shoot?!"
The movements on the TV screen stop, and the words Game Over come up.
"What happened?"
"You shot me!" Jake replies, his voice a mixture of annoyance, shock, and amusement.
"Sorry," I apologise sheepishly.
He turns and stares at me for a moment, before replying, "You're supposed to do that."
"Oh..." I say slowly. "Well, in that case... HA!"
He looks at me, shakes his head, and then smiles. "You are such a spaz."
"I am not!" I object.
He laughs at me, and says, "You should have seen yourself when you were playing."
"Yeah, well, I still killed you," I counter defensively.
That shuts him up pretty damn fast.
"Ah, Bella, now were you the one I heard shrieking all the way out back?" Billy asks as he comes into his living room.
I blush, and Jacob just throws his head back and laughs. Bastard.
I look over the back of the couch at him, and abashedly reply, "Hi, Billy."
"So what are you kids doing in here?"
"I killed him," I answer proudly. If he's gonna laugh at me, I'm gonna rub it in.
The scowl Jacob shoots me makes me smile like an idiot. Seriously, Billy probably thinks I'm unbalanced or something.
"Nicely done," he cheers with a clap. "He kicks my ass on that thing all the time. It was starting to get to his head. I guess you're not undefeated now, huh Jake."
"I demand a rematch."
I pretend to think it over for a moment, and then reply, "No way." I won, but it was definitely a fluke. If we play again I'm gonna lose hard, and I'd like to be able to hold this over him for a while. At least until the next thing he finds to laugh at me for.
"Come on! You can't play once and walk away," Jake cajoles.
"Yeah, especially when you beat him," Billy laughs, coming up next to my side of the couch.
"Beat me once, AND you kept making all those weird noises, it distracted me."
"Uh huh," I reply, rolling my eyes at his excuses.
"I don't think you're fooling anybody, buddy," Billy says, as we share a knowing look. Jacob's full of it.
"Just one more game, even if I win you still beat me the first time."
"Fine."
"Alright, I'm getting out of here before the screaming starts up again," Billy says, before he starts rolling his wheelchair out of the living room.
"Here we go," Jake warns as the game starts up.
"Which one am I?"
"The one on the top half," he mutters, staring intently at the screen.
"Ah ah ahhh... what the...?" I exclaim, once again hitting buttons at random. "What happened?"
"You killed me again," Jake states in a monotone voice.
"I like this game!" I shout as he tosses his controller onto the coffee table and dejectedly flops back against the couch.
I put my controller down next to his, and lean back, still periodically laughing at my artless success.
"Any plans for the weekend?" His head rolls on the back of the couch to face me.
"Actually yes."
"With the AF?"
"Who?"
"The Aggressively Friendly."
"Yeah... I like that, the AF," I chuckle.
"I was going to go with the Happy People, but I thought HP might lead to confusion if Harry Potter ever came up."
"Oh, I bet the AF love HP."
"Hey, I like HP," Jake says defensively.
"I didn't mean it like that. I like them... well, I didn't read the books, but I like the movies. I'm just saying I bet they really love them, especially Jess. Probably got a thing for Malfoy, she seems to like the weirdoes."
"Where'd that come from?"
"She likes this guy, Edward... something."
"Cullen? Man, that guy is an ass. He's got some serious issues. He blew up a shed the Cullen's had on their property, and he cracked some guys skull open in a fight. Your Dad's a big fan."
Holy Shit! "Seriously?"
He looks at me funny, and replies, "I was being sarcastic. Your Dad doesn't..."
I whack him on the arm before he finishes, and clarify, "I was talking about the other stuff."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I do understand the concept of sarcasm thanks."
"Sorry," he apologizes with a sheepish grin, and continues, "...but yeah that stuff's true, and there're other things too. Have you met him?"
"If you use the word loosely, I basically just sat beside him for half an hour while he ignored me."
"Hmm... if I were you, I'd ask the teacher to move you somewhere else. The guy's cracked."
Alright, Weird Dude just got promoted to Scary Weird Dude.
"So what are you guys doing?" It takes me a second to figure out he's moved back to talking about the AF's. It's definitely a welcome change.
"Oh, well after school on Friday I'm going to Jess' house for a sleepover, and then on Saturday we're meeting Eric and Mike in Port Angeles for a movie. I've been informed there will also be lunch, and clothes shopping, which I have no hope of avoiding."
"Think you can survive all that?"
"I have no idea."
"Well... if your brain melts or something, can I have your iPod?"
Chuck? I don't care if I'm dead, nobody else can have Chuck, nobody else can touch Chuck. Yes, I've named my iPod. I know that's weird, but... it suits him. Shut up.
"No, I'm getting buried with that thing. You're welcome to my laptop though."
"Alright, great," Jake replies, rubbing his hands together like he can't wait till it's his.
We sit quietly for a couple of minutes, listening to the light afternoon rain falling outside.
"What do girls do at sleepovers anyway?" he asks, his voice carefully neutral.
My shoulders start to shake as I laugh at the answers he's probably hoping to get. Pillow fights in our underwear, kissing practice, all the old standards.
"God only knows. The last time I was at a sleepover, we watched movies, ate pizza, and then played truth or dare, which I have to say isn't nearly as crazy as everyone seems to think it is, from my experience anyway. It's possible we also played broken telephone."
"And when was this?"
"Um... eighth grade? Too old to be playing broken telephone, that's for damn sure."
"Sounds like a good time... I mean, I was kind of hoping for something a little more interesting, but..."
"I'm sure it'll be fun. I just have to figure out what the hell I'm gonna wear for pyjamas."
"Have you thought about... pyjamas?" he asks patronizingly.
"That's helpful, thanks. I don't have any, and I'm not entirely sure of the normal customs, but I don't think I can wear my usual underwear and tank top." That was probably too much information to share with a guy friend.
Jake makes a weird sort of strangled noise, and when I turn back to him he's staring at me, wide eyed and a little flustered.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing," he chokes out, shifting his gaze over to the blank TV screen. "Well... have fun."
"Oh, I'm sure it'll be just marvellous."