Summary: S/J - crack innuendo for Redemption 6x01
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

AN: inspired by this community. livejournal. com/ sj_everyday / 573738. html pic/thread

"Wanna take the stick, Carter?"

".. Carter?"

"Ummmm? Oh! Er, the 'stick'. Yes sir. Thank you sir!"

"Carter? What the hell were you just thinking about?"

"Oh, err, just enjoying the beautiful smooth ride you were providing, sir."

".. You, ah, like smooth rides, do you Carter?"

"Well yeah. Not that this baby isn't just *made* for good hard tight fast action, though."

"-cough- Hard, -throat clearing-, action, major?"

"Absolutely! As long as you're careful with the speed and moves, you can take the safeties off and then you should *feel* it slam you in your seat when it really gets going; nothing better! But it's nice to just be able to enjoy a long slow ride, sir, to feel the quality of the handling. Makes me kinda proud I was part of making it happen."

".. What were we talking about again?"

"Problem keeping up, sir?"

"Not at all major, I may be old, but I can keep up my end of things."

"So, mind if I take over now, major?"

"Am I not doing it right, sir?"

"No no, Carter! I'd just like to take you for some of that fast riding you were so enthusiastic about."

"..Ahh, nice technique, sir!"

"..Oh yeah! That's the kind of rush that makes life worth living!"

"Keep it steady now, sir, I'm almost there."

"Don't hold anything back, major, you know how I love fireworks."

"Almost there; you ready, sir?"

"I've been ready for years, Carter. Definitely can't hold this speed much longer, either."

"Oh I'm sure you've still got lots of power under the hoo-"

"Carter?"

"YES!"

"WhooooooHOOoooooo!"

"So, was that good for you, major?"

"Amazing, sir! Target completely consumed."

"Good to hear cause I'm pretty much out of go juice."

"Let us down easy, sir, we've earned a break."

"You bet. And Carter? You can drive next time."

"Great! You know how I love having power between my legs."

"Hope your Indian doesn't get jealous."

"You boys can share, can't you?"

"..Did you just pet the jet, Carter?"

"What? Plants like to be talked to and equipment likes to be petted. Just ask Siler."

"Really? Siler an expert at petting, is he?"

"Sir!"

"What?"

"You didn't by chance break his arm because you were-"

"It was an *accident*! What am I going to have to do to make it up to him, for crying out loud!"

"Well, we could take him for a ride with us."

"Ahhh, not much room for a third..."

"I'm sure I can squeeze him in, sir."

".."

"Unless you want to, sir?"

"Hey guys, *I*'ve never been on a Tau'ri one; can I have a turn?"

"Ok, Jonas is *definitely* yours, Carter. I just hope Siler watches what he does with that wrench of his.

AN: -snicker- that just kept going on and on and taking so may twists and turns... LOL!