373Part 2
10. INT. RORY'S APARTMENT – RORY'S ROOM. DAY.
Rory is pacing around the room still in her pyjamas, as she talks on her phone. She's clearly agitated.
RORY (to phone)
And he thinks we can just get back together! Just like that.
11. INT. LANE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN. DAY
Lane is slumped at the table as she listens to Rory. She looks tired, but is still trying to pay attention.
We cut back and forth between these two scenes, but sometimes can hear Rory's voice over the phone from Lane's end.
RORY (O.S.)
And of course he was drunk, because he's Logan and he doesn't know how to be anything else most of the time.
Rory is now standing at her closet, looking at her shoes.
RORY
Where's my other sneaker?
Lane appears to wake up a bit, and looks confused at the change in topic.
LANE
Huh?
RORY (O.S.)
Ah hah!
Rory's walking away from the closet and throws two sneakers onto the bed.
RORY
So I had to tell him I was with Jess now, and that was that and he just needed to move on. I told him when I broke up with him, we don't fit.
Lane straightens up a bit, trying to make a point.
LANE
But you did break up with him over the phone. Maybe it would have sunk in better face to face.
RORY (O.S.)
I couldn't! He wasn't here. He was out on a mountain somewhere, trying to kill himself. (beat) Which he almost did!
Rory is now pulling clothes from her drawers and closets, apparently in search of an outfit.
LANE
I remember. Jack ass! So...last night, when you told him you were with Jess, did he leave?
Rory has now moved on to her hair brush, and is pulling it viciously through her hair.
RORY
Eventually. He didn't want to.
Lane's eyebrows raise in curiosity.
RORY (0.S.)
He tried to kiss me first.
This time, Lane definitely looks more alert, but like she's not sure if she heard correctly.
LANE
What?
Rory has paused in her brushing and is looking a little freaked as she remembers.
RORY
He got all leany and close and-
LANE
Oh my god – did you kiss him?
RORY
Of course not.
LANE
Ooh, did you slap him?
Rory is brushing her hair again.
RORY
Not exactly. (beat) I jumped inside and shut the door.
LANE
You ran away?
RORY
I didn't run. I just...made a forceful exit.
LANE
Rory! That's not going to fix anything. He'll just keep coming back. Like The Who. Over and over and over and-
Rory sits on the edge of her bed and starts pulling on her sneakers with her free hand.
RORY
No he won't.
LANE
He won't?
RORY
After I got inside, Paris went out and threatened to go kung-fu on his ass.
Lane nods indulgently.
LANE (sarcastic)
Oh yeah. That'll work.
RORY
Hey! Paris is a very scary person.
LANE
Believe me, I know. But Rory, honey, my bestest-best friend...I don't think even she's enough to keep Logan away.
Rory is fastening on her earrings.
RORY
Well it's enough for now. He goes back to England today.
Lane shakes her head and sighs.
LANE
Rory, Rory, Rory...
RORY
I'm sorry. Who are you talking to? My name is Ethel Von Hap-...Oh, no! Look at the time! I have to go to class.
LANE
Okay. Go. Be smart.
RORY
Bye.
As Lane hangs up the phone, Zach pokes his head into the kitchen.
ZACH
Hey babe. Want me to try and make pancakes for breakfast? We can feed Brian the first one.
A look of horror crosses Lane's face and she makes a gagging noise, then runs from the room, clutching her stomach.
ZACH
Guess that's a no. Bacon?
12. INT. RORY'S APARTMENT – LOUNGE. DAY
Rory has her bag and is heading for the door. Paris stands in the kitchen area watching her in bemusement. Rory is about to open the door when Paris speaks.
PARIS
Rory? One of the quirks of Yale; they expect you to wear clothes to class.
Rory's hand freezes on the doorknob and she looks down at herself. Her hair is done, her shoes are on, jewellery is on, bag packed...but she's still in her pyjamas.
Without looking at Paris she storms back to her bedroom.
RORY
Ugh! Damn it, Logan!
13. INT. LUKE'S DINER – DAY
The diner is bustling with the morning crowd. Luke is behind the counter ringing up an order on the cash register as Caesar bustles past him carrying food to customers. Miss Patty, Babette and Kirk are among them.
Lorelai and April are eating breakfast – bacon, eggs, toast – all the usual Lorelai favourites.
APRIL
You know, I was going to say I wish I could eat breakfast like this all the time, but I suppose you'd get tired of it eventually.
Lorelai stops mid chew and stares at April in surprise for a moment before she swallows.
LORELAI
Get sick of it? Never! I've lived off Luke's breakfasts for years, and I plan to keep living off them.
APRIL
You never have a craving for something simple and boring like cereal? Or just toast?
LORELAI
Dear, dear April. You should learn, and learn quickly, that the Stars Hollow Gilmores do not believe in simple and boring.
The door to the diner opens and Taylor strides in, looking disturbingly jovial. He starts greeting the patrons, doing a lot of nodding and smiling.
TAYLOR
Good morning everyone! Luke! Hello, Lorelai. I hope your leg isn't giving you too much trouble. Hello, Mr Johnson, you're looking well. And oh, my, I do love your shirt Reverend.
Reverend Skinner looks a little flummoxed – he's just wearing his usual blacks. Luke scowls from his place at the counter.
LUKE
Why are you so happy?
Babette is watching Taylor curiously.
BABETTE
Yeah, Taylor – why so cheerful?
Taylor looks a little surprised at being interrogated, but continues to smile.
LORELAI
Hey, the guy's allowed to be in a good mood isn't he?
LUKE
Not when it's him. What are you planning, Taylor?
TAYLOR
Why, I'm surprised at all of you. (beat) Well...Maybe not you, Luke. But does everyone really have to think the worst?
BABETTE
You bet'cha.
RANDOM TOWNIE
It is kind of weird.
Taylor is looking a bit huffy now.
TAYLOR
Well I am quite disappointed in you people. Nevertheless, there may be a reason for my joyful disposition this morning -
Most of the diner patrons share amused glances with each other at this comment.
TAYLOR
And if you'd like to find out more, you'll just have to be at the town meeting tonight.
MISS PATTY
We're always at the meeting Taylor.
LORELAI
Ooh! Town meeting! Save me a seat.
She looks down at her leg.
LORELAI
Or three. (to April) This will be a momentous day for you!
APRIL
Town meetings? Stars Hollow is beyond crazy!
Taylor looks at April with some distaste and then back at Luke.
TAYLOR
I see your daughter takes after you.
APRIL
Oh! I didn't mean crazy as a bad thing.
Miss Patty smiles at April.
MISS PATTY
Don't worry. He's just hyper-sensitive. Taylor, don't be mean to the child.
TAYLOR
I wasn't- Oh, Luke, just make me a latte. Please.
LORELAI
Um, Taylor, while you're here, Luke and I need to talk to you.
Luke and Taylor both look surprised, but Luke catches on after a moment.
TAYLOR
Oh. Now?
LORELAI
No time like the present.
Taylor looks at his watch and then glances at Luke before transforming into his Official Manner.
TAYLOR
Okay, but I'll be needing that latte to go.
LORELAI
Great! It'll only take a second.
Luke begins making the coffee as Taylor moves closer to Lorelai at her table.
LORELAI
You need to make Stars Hollow bigger.
TAYLOR
I- what?
LORELAI
Stars Hollow. The boundary needs to extend just a little bit further out so that it goes behind our house, instead of in front of it.
TAYLOR
Lorelai, your house is already well within the boundaries of Stars Hollow.
Lorelai shakes her head.
LORELAI
No, not that house. My new house.
BABETTE
New house? What?
Patty and Babette both stare in astonishment at Lorelai.
MISS PATTY
Lorelai, honey? You're moving?
Lorelai winces, realising that she just gave the biggest gossips in town a hint of her plans.
LORELAI
(muttering) Damn it! I kept it for three weeks! (to Patty) Um...oh. Yes.
BABETTE
You're selling your house?
LORELAI
Well, we're not sure about-
BABETTE
Where are you going? Why didn't we know?
LORELAI
We have a new place on the edge of Woodbury and Stars Hollow. It's not far.
APRIL
It's really not far! And the house is amazing.
MISS PATTY
But when did this happen?
LORELAI
...recently?
MISS PATTY (TO BABETTE)
I haven't even heard anything from East Side Tilly!
BABETTE
Well we've all been so wrapped up with the Luke/Lorelai baby thing that we've gotten slack!
Lorelai rolls her eyes.
LORELAI
Guys! There is no Luke/Lorelai baby thing.
Kirk raises his hand, sheepishly.
KIRK
Miss Patty, I must fall on my sword for this one. Or if I were Japanese: commit seppuku. I was privy to a conversation about the new Danes home but I failed to pass the information on. I am so sorry.
BABETTE
What is he talking about? (to Kirk) What are you talking about?
KIRK
I was in the diner last week. I heard a conversation about the house, but I was too involved with my own problems that I completely neglected my position as a townsperson and failed to relay the information.
Pretty much everyone in the diner is looking a bit mystified by Kirk's dramatics, but Taylor just looks frustrated.
TAYLOR
I don't have time for this. Luke, latte?
Luke hands over the drink and takes Taylor's money.
TAYLOR
You'll have to bring up your boundary problems at the meeting tonight. This is a town matter.
With a brisk nod of his head, Taylor exits the diner, looking considerably less jovial than he did when he entered.
Luke and April speak at the same time.
APRIL
Yep. This town is definitely crazy.
LUKE
I live in an asylum.
Lorelai grins at both of them.
LORELAI
Yeah, but we love it.
Babette is staring at Lorelai, still looking like she's in a state of shock.
BABETTE
I can't believe you're moving.
14. INT. RORY'S APARTMENT. DAY.
Rory is reclined on the couch, talking on the phone. There are text books on the coffee table next to her and she has a notebook resting against her legs.
RORY
No, that sounds fine...Yes, of course I'm serious...It sounds completely fine if you're a crazy person...Jess! How could you think I was serious? And don't bring Lou Reed into this...I'm just saying, if I were a gun-toting type, I'd have blood on my hands after listening to that. (beat) And it'd probably be my own.
Rory is laughing as she listens to Jess's response. There's a knock on the door.
RORY
Damn it, hang on Jess. I've gotta get the door. Paris left without her key.
Scrambling ungracefully from the couch, Rory grabs a set of keys from the coffee table and goes to open the door, still talking to Jess.
RORY
I know. You'd think it's the kind of thing Paris would remember, but she's been particularly crazy at the moment. It's 'the-beginning-of-the-end' anxiety.
Rory finishes unbolting the door and opens it to reveal Finn.
RORY
Par- Finn? You're not Paris.
Finn just stares back at her, not looking particularly friendly. She's slightly thrown.
RORY
Um, Jess, I've got to go. (beat) Yeah, I'm fine. Call you later. Bye.
Rory hangs up the phone and looks back at Finn.
RORY
Hi?
15. INT. MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO. NIGHT.
The townspeople are all crammed into the small space. There seems to be more people there than usual as a number of them are standing against the back walls.
Lorelai, Luke and April are sitting together at the front, so that Lorelai can prop her leg up. As usual, Taylor is pontificating from his podium.
TAYLOR
So while many of you questioned my earlier good humour, as you'll see I have nothing but the best intentions. This is a fantastic opportunity to raise the profile of our local businesses and increase tourism revenue to the area.
GYPSY
Yeah, to your ice cream shop you mean.
TAYLOR
But more tourists coming to my shop will obviously mean more visitors to all of the town businesses. And it's not an ice cream shop. It's an old fashioned soda shoppe. We must call things by their proper names or else we'll confuse the tourists.
LORELAI (mumbling)
Drat. No more trips to Luke's Sin Emporium then.
Luke shoots Lorelai a slightly horrified glance.
MISS PATTY
We're very happy for you Taylor, but why did you need to make such a big deal about this?
She gestures to the crowded room.
MISS PATTY
You've got nearly all of Stars Hollow here.
Again, Taylor's getting frustrated. He scowls at Patty and his voice takes on a slightly screechy tone.
TAYLOR
Well forgive me for thinking that perhaps the town would like to share in my good news. I'm so terribly sorry to inconvenience you. If I'd known everyone had so many more important plans for-
MISS PATTY
Easy Taylor. I'm just asking...
Taylor doesn't exactly look mollified, but his voice returns to normal.
TAYLOR
Well I had originally thought that it might be nice if we arranged a little cross promotion. As I'm obviously going to get more visitors, I was willing to hand out fliers, discount coupons, sample products and so on from my store, in order to help promote the other smaller businesses in the town.
Some of the townspeople start to look mildly interested, until Taylor uses air quotes.
TAYLOR
But then it occurred to me that we could put all of these things into one 'discount book,' and I would hand them out with any purchase from my store. Now I have here a few charts with appropriate coupon suggestions-
After making a snoring sound, Lorelai rolls her eyes, closes them and drops her head to Luke's shoulder. Her reaction is not dissimilar to the rest of the crowd.
GYPSY
Why do I keep coming to these things?
16. INT. PARIS AND RORY'S APARTMENT. NIGHT.
Paris is sat on the couch with a plate of Chinese food on her lap. The coffee table is now covered in take-out containers. Rory is in the kitchen area, banging things about quite violently.
RORY
Why does he think it's anything at all to do with him? It isn't! Not even a little bit. Logan and I broke up, and Finn needs to get over it.
PARIS
Well, those guys never seemed particularly smart.
RORY
No, but I thought they were nice enough. Now apparently I'm the Wicked Witch of the West and the way Finn's acting you'd think I'd just killed Toto.
PARIS
Logan was never as loyal as the dog.
Rory winces a bit at this reminder, but it doesn't slow her venting.
RORY
I didn't kill Logan! I ended a relationship. People do that all the time.
PARIS
On the phone?
Rory glares at her friend.
RORY
Does the name Jamie ring a bell?
PARIS
Oh. Well...
RORY
No matter who I'm dating, every time I turn around there's someone else there.
PARIS
But Finn isn't an ex.
RORY
I know that. But still, why can't Logan's world and Dean's world just stay out of mine? How come your ex-boyfriends never come back to haunt you?
Paris cocks her head to the side as she considers.
PARIS
Well Jamie didn't exactly live locally and Asher died if you remember. If he were going to come back it actually would have to be a haunting.
Rory doesn't look satisfied and drops heavily on to the couch, folding her arms across her chest.
RORY
I'm cursed. I mean even when I was with Logan, I came home one night and all of a sudden, look who's standing in the driveway. Jess! An ex! Okay, so in that scenario he was an ex I was happy to see, but Dean and Logan…? Don't they know what over means?
PARIS
Well you do have a habit of recycling your old boyfriends. Maybe they're just hanging around, waiting for their next turn with Rory Gilmore.
Rory looks momentarily startled by this revelation.
RORY
And wow. Now I feel like a total tramp...Oh my god, you're right!
PARIS
Well with a grade point average like mine, you'd want to hope so. Otherwise it doesn't say much for the American education system. I was actually discussing this with Doyle the other day. The difference between his GPA and my own is...
Paris's voice fades out as we close in on Rory's face, still looking like she's just been handed a life sentence. She speaks softly to herself.
RORY
I'm a recycler.
17. INT. MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO. NIGHT
Chaos still reigns at the town meeting. Taylor is slumped on his podium, head in hands and somehow Kirk has acquired the gavel. He seems to be enjoying using it, until Miss Patty manages to manhandle it away from him. She then elbows Taylor from the podium and pounds the gavel herself, but with much greater authority than either of the others. She lifts her other hand, revealing the megaphone which she proceeds to speak through.
MISS PATTY
Okay ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure we can all agree that's quite enough. Now if Taylor will agree, I propose we shelve this voucher book idea until he's done a little more surveying of the other business owners in town.
She looks at Taylor like one might look at a naughty child.
MISS PATTY (CONT'D)
Try speaking to people one on one and see what they all think about it first, hmmm?
Taylor opens his arms wide, defeated, but still rather grumbly.
TAYLOR
I honestly had no idea they'd react this way.
MISS PATTY
Well now you know. Now I'll give you back your podium if you'll let us move on to other business.
Taylor nods his consent and begrudgingly swaps places again with Patty.
TAYLOR (obviously disinterested)
Any other business? No? I hereby end this-
BABETTE
Not so fast Taylor!
LORELAI
Yeah, Taylor! We still have to talk about the boundary issue.
BABETTE
We have to stop Luke and Lorelai from leaving Stars
Hollow!
Most of the townies nod and murmur their agreement, while there are exclamations of surprise from those that didn't know.
LORELAI
Guys, we're not leaving Stars Hollow! Well, officially we are, but not if Taylor can change the town boundary.
Various cries of support and
'Change it, Taylor,' ring out from the crowd. Gypsy, Andrew, Sookie and Jackson are among them. April looks impressed by how much everyone cares.
Taylor looks a bit put out.
TAYLOR
Oh, this you want? This?
At the cheers of consent coming from the crowd, Taylor's attitude becomes a little smug.
TAYLOR
Very well then. How many of you are going to sign up for my voucher book?
18. INT. GILMORE HOUSE. DAY.
Rory enters the house to find her mom on the lounge with April, wrapping things in newspaper. Lorelai looks up at her in surprised excitement.
LORELAI
Daughter! You're home! And we live in Stars Hollow.
RORY
I know that, Mom. We've lived in Stars Hollow for a very long time. Has your broken leg rotted your brain?
APRIL
She means the new house. Your mom convinced the whole town to sign up to Taylor's voucher book so that he'd change the boundaries of Stars Hollow.
Rory looks impressed.
RORY
Wow, Mom. How come you never went into politics?
LORELAI
Oh please! Can you imagine how happy that would make Frau and Fraulein Von Gilmore? Never!
RORY
How are Grandma and Grandpa anyway?
LORELAI
Well the last I saw her your Grandma was naming all her future grandkids and great grandkids.
She looks pointedly at Rory.
LORELAI
How many kids are you and the hoodlum planning?
RORY
Woah! Slow down Crazy Mother. Jess and I are just starting. We're not...woah...
LORELAI
Just starting. Pfft! You've been in love with each other since you were seventeen.
APRIL
Really?
RORY
I...well...I guess. Yes.
LORELAI
Yes. Definitely. Every other relationship you had was just you passing time while you waited for each other.
RORY
That's not true. Is it?
LORELAI
So it's settled. Luke and I will have one kid. You and Jess can have four. That should just about get us through Grandma's names.
Rory rolls her eyes at the insanity and then gets her serious face on.
RORY
Mom, am I a recycler?
####
A/N: I know: an update on Paul Anka! Is there a blue moon somewhere? No - it just seems that being sick makes me want to write. Also, I've received some wonderful and motivational reviews from some people lately that totally fed that ego thingy and made me want more. Thank you very much to all of those who have sent me messages and the like. It's nice to know that someone misses me!
Special thanks to Djux, for always letting me randomly e-mail her every 6 months or so when I need someone to rant to about my writing, and for always being so lovely and wonderful and obliging.
Now go feed my ego!
~VC