Summary: Usagi has been having weird dreams ever since Galaxia was defeated two years earlier. Michiru has been having the same dreams. What happens when the future they have been fighting for suddenly becomes something that they no longer want? And the people they thought they loved aren't all that they're cracked up to be? Are they strong enough to break away and start dreaming of a new destiny all together?
A/N: Okay, this story is going to feel a little bit OOC but my way of thinking is that these feelings have been festering for quite a long time, and they just explode with a little encouragement. I love the pair of Usagi and Michiru so if you no likely, you no read.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, if I did, I could so pay for college right now...
Dreaming A New Destiny
Chapter 1: Doubts
Darkness, everywhere I looked all I saw was darkness. Being a child of light I was supposed to be afraid of the dark, but I never was. The shadows worked two ways: to conceal those who wish to do evil, but also to hide those who wish to do good. Darkness can keep secrets best not revealed in the light of day; that is one reason why I love it so much. It is loyal; it does not betray those who wish to stay hidden. In these dreams, I always reveled in the dimness, enjoying the peace it projected. I could understand the darkness, because it was like me, Misunderstood.
Slowly, I saw shapes starting to appear. I knew what they were it was the same every night. Honestly, I thought it would stop hurting by now but it never does. It only hurts more and more each time. The shapes took on the form of my friends, my guards. They walked towards me, forming a circle. I tried to steel myself for what was to come, but I knew it was to no avail.
"A gluttonous, selfish mistake can never be a good queen," Makoto spat.
"Your grades are too low and you can't even understand the simplest problems," Ami piped up.
"How can someone as stupid as you have what it takes to be a queen?" Rei sneered.
Minako smirked, "I was leader of the scouts during the silver millennium. I am more capable and experienced as a leader. How can you truly expect to lead and govern others when you are no good at it."
Tears welled in my eyes as those words struck a cord in my heart. They were my own doubts coming out of the mouths of my friends. I had figured that much out long ago, but it still ached. I never wanted those fears to be voiced. I just hoped that they would exist in the deepest part of my heart, never to see the light of day.
"I don't understand how a cry-baby weakling became our princess," Setsuna frowned.
"I can't serve a person like you. A person with no pride," Hotaru glared.
"I knew you were never meant to be queen. How could you when you are so naïve when it comes to matters of life," Haruka said harshly.
The tears that had welled in my eyes now coursed down my cheeks like silver rain. Silver tears… yeah, you get used to it. I turned to Mamoru. Surely he would not give up on me. Hoping, that somewhere in his heart, he really loved me.
Those hopes were squashed when he looked at me with disgust in his eyes. "You are nothing like the Serenity I was in love with. You are a failure."
That comment hurt more than the others. It wasn't that it came from the supposed love of my life, but the fact that he said I was nothing like Serenity. That struck something in me that caused my heart to burn with a searing pain. Please give me a chance. There is more to me than what you see on the outside.
"You are as open as a book. There is nothing more to you. You ARE a failure," they said, mockingly.
I collapsed on the smoky floor; the searing pain in my heart grew too much for me to handle, it hurt so much. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around to see who it was, I felt the hand leave my shoulder and a pair of arms embraced me, pulling me into a warm presence. It was refreshing in the icy atmosphere created by those words that still hung in the air like a vile disease, waiting to claim another part of my soul. Looking up, I saw a flash of aquamarine hair. My eyes connected with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen. They swam, almost drawing me in, almost to the point that I was afraid that I would drown in those eyes, but, somehow, I knew that I would be alright if I lost myself in those warm eyes. "Michiru," I mumbled, my mouth finally working.
"Usagi," she started, "I believe in you and I always have. I can see past the act that you put up and see the true you down in the depths of your heart. You are a beautiful person, and I will always love you, all of you."
I blinked back the tears and stared at the person who just possible became my savior. Saved me from myself, and my fears. Even if I have no faith in myself, as long as someone does… No, I realized, as long as Michiru has faith in me, everything will be all right.
Subconsciously I moved closer to Michiru and saw the other girl do the same. Our faces were inches apart; our lips were moving closer to each other. I wonder if it counts if you kiss someone in a dream? Just as our lips were about to meet, I heard someone calling my name, "Usako?"
Usagi woke with a start. Mamoru was looking at her with worried and slightly annoyed face… actually more than slightly. "Are you alright?" he asked.
"Yeah, it was just a bad dream, that's all," Usagi said with a sigh.
Mamoru looked at her, "Do you want to tell me about it? Maybe it will make you feel better."
"Not really," she said moving to a sitting position. "There is nothing you can do and telling you won't make it go away. The nightmare already happened." She was still hurt by the way dream Mamoru spoke to her, but she hid it from him. "Just go back to sleep." I need some alone time, and I can't have that with him hovering over me.
"Okay," Mamoru consented, oblivious to the pain his fiancée was in, and turned back over. In a matter of moments, Usagi heard his soft snoring, signaling that he was out cold again.
Usagi moved out of the bed, and walked over to the window of the apartment she as Mamoru shared. He asked her to marry him the day she turned eighteen, and of course she said yes. All of their friends and family were there to see it; it was nearly perfect. However, if anyone cared to notice the smug look in the eyes of the prince and the dead, almost haunted look in the princess' eyes they would have realized that things were far from perfect. Usagi was smart, very smart, and she had become exceedingly well at reading people, and so she knew that Mamoru never loved her. He merely lusted after her. With as many times as he tried to have sex with her in the past few months since she started living with him it became quite clear. She never wanted to move in with him but her parents had insisted on it, saying that it would help her be prepared for what married life would be like. What a load of bull, she thought.
Ever since Galaxia was defeated two years ago, there had been no new enemies, so she had had more than enough time to examine her relationship with Mamoru. Before they found out about their past lives, she hated Mamoru. No worse, she loathed him. And yet, as soon as everyone found out that he was the prince and she was the princess, they were automatically dating and lovers. No transitional stage, no option, no nothing. Sure, she thought Tuxedo Mask was attractive but she wasn't attracted to him. I have to admit that I did like having someone willing to save me, but he acted like he had to, and so do my friends. Usagi was stronger than people knew. She never needed saving,
Would we even be friends if w hadn't found out we were senshi? I mean I'm nice to just about everyone so Ami and Makoto would be a definite, but Minako and Rei. Hmmm… would Minako have even come back to Japan? If she did, I'm sure we would have run into each somewhere, being that we are a lot alike. Rei however is always mean to me and usually I try to stay away from people like that, but they never get the picture. And what about the outers? Setsuna, probably not going on a no, Hotaru maybe, leaning more towards no, Haruka, yes, she likes to flirt with anything on two legs with breasts, and Michiru… Usagi blushed thinking about the Neptunian. I don't know what it is but there is something about her… Blushing further, Usagi stopped that train of thought and looked at the stranger she shared her bed with. Lying back down on the bed, Mamoru instantly put his arms around her, snoring in her ear. Did I ever feel safe in his arms? Usagi thought before she drifted back to sleep, only to be plagued by more dreams.
An inky blackness floated around me, as dark as the deepest ocean. The floor was smoky and flowed like a current. I knew this dream. It was the same one I've been having for years. Quickly I looked around, and I spotted who I was looking for, Usagi. I saw other shapes begin to form. I knew what was coming, it happened every night. I never got used to it; each time I got angrier, even though I knew some of those people would never say those harsh things to her. I wasn't quite sure about one particular person though.
I saw them forming a circle around her. I walked over but kept myself out of the circle, for I knew what was coming, and looking at my princess, I could see she knew what was going to happen as well.
Makoto opened her mouth to speak, "A gluttonous, selfish mistake can never be a good queen."
Ami was next, "Your grades are too low and you can't even understand the simplest problems."
"How could someone as stupid as you have what it takes to be a queen?" Rei said next.
"I was leader of the scouts during the silver millennium. I am more capable and experienced as a leader. How can you truly expect to lead and govern others when you are no good at it."
I could see the tears starting to form in her eyes; their words seemed to always affect her greatly. I was struck by a sudden form of grief, like those were her fears manifested in the forms of our friends. Looking at her, I knew that she knew this, but that she was still fighting with her doubts, her fears.
"I don't understand how a cry-baby weakling became our princess," Setsuna said disappointed.
"I can't serve a person like you. A person with no pride," Hotaru shook her head.
"I knew you were never meant to be queen. How could you when you are so naïve when it comes to matters of life," Haruka sneered.
I saw the silver tears start to slip down her face like cascading rain as she turned to Mamoru. Something inside of me began to hurt as I saw her look at him. It was a look of hope that he still cared about her, almost like he would never dare betray her. I would give anything to get her to look at me the way she looks at him. Shaking the thought out of my head, I turned and listened to what he said, "You are nothing like the Serenity I was in love with. You are a failure."
Turning my attention back to Usagi, I saw her face fall. It was as if her whole world collapsed in upon itself."Please give me a chance. There is more to me than what you see on the outside," she pleaded with them. I tried to shout to her, to tell her that she didn't need to prove herself to anyone.
The people around me sneered at her, "You are as open as a book. There is nothing more to you. You ARE a failure."
Tears formed in my eyes as I watched the girl that I had come to care for so much collapsed on the floor. I felt the sudden urge to comfort her, to embrace this young lady who has proven herself worthy time and time again, and to tell her how much she truly means to me. Before I could realize what was happening, I had moved over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. As she turned, I clutched her closer to myself, trying to warm her icy skin, and ease her troubled heart. Releasing her a bit, she looked up at me and there was that look of utter content and faith that I had wanted directed towards myself for so long. Biting back a sequel of happiness, I felt the words that needed to be said form in my throat, resounding in my heart. Usagi, I believe in you and I always have. I can see past the act that you put up and see the true you down in the depths of your heart. You are a beautiful person, and I will always love you, all of you.
I could see that she was trying to be strong as she fought her tears away. The look that she had been giving me changed into one of adoration, and worship it seemed. This beautiful goddess that saved me from myself countless of times would worship me? The thought seemed almost incomprehensible. I moved closer to the girl in my arms and I saw her do the same. Our lips were merely a hair's breath apart. Does it count if you kiss someone in a dream? It was the last thing that crossed my mind before I was thrown out of that world of darkness.
Michiru sat up, gasping for breath. "Usagi…. she must have woken up," she murmured in between, remembering how she was pulled out of the dream. It is always the same for whenever Usagi wakes up first. I wonder if it is the same for her when I wake up first? Michiru mulled this over in her head as she climbed out of bed and walked over to the window. She had realized long ago that she shared her dreams with her blonde princess, seeing as they always carried the same theme. As to why she was they dreamt the same, she hadn't figured that out yet. The dream was a little different this time. Usagi and I had never gotten that close before, and I had never had those feelings before, Michiru thought as she stared out into the Tokyo skyline.
Michiru felt a pair of arms snake around her waist, breaking her from her thoughts. "Michiru," came Haruka's voice, "What's wrong?"
Michiru shook her head, "Just thinking."
"About?" Haruka asked while her lips rained kisses down Michiru's neck.
Michiru sighed, in a more irritated tone than anything else. "Just thinking," Michiru replied, shaking Haruka off. She knew that Haruka never liked to talk about worries, and such. Every time she would start a conversation, Haruka would distract her by trying to arouse her, or just ignore the conversation completely. "Go back to bed 'Ruka," Michiru said, while walking out of the room, "I'm going to stay up for a little bit."
Haruka sighed; half was a contended sigh, the other half frustration about not being able to have some 'fun' with her girlfriend.
Ignoring her Haruka's frustrated tone, Michiru walked out of the room to the kitchen. She made herself a fresh cup of tea and sat down on the couch to look out the window at the moon. The shinning orb guarded the night, providing light and a soothing warmth to the chill of the darkness. I have let Usagi suffer these dreams, thinking she is all alone, Michiru thought, it is time that I talk to her. Michiru blushed a little thinking about talking to Usagi after the almost kiss they shared in her dream. Why did I react like that? I love Haruka don't I? Michiru thought for a moment, thinking of her past, and the future she saw. Do I love Haruka, or is it my past self-calling out to her? Suddenly, Michiru realized that it wasn't Haruka she loved, but a certain blonde bunny that has been the centre of her thoughts for the past to years, almost like she had always been there. I always knew she was something special, I just never realized she would mean that much to me. Is she feeling repressed by the past as well? Does she want to break free and make her own choices? Could… Could she possible FEEL the way I do? Michiru shivered at the different thoughts that coursed through her mind, the core thought being that she might have a chance to win her princess' heart. I'll talk to Usagi tomorrow, Michiru resolved sinking back down onto the couch. She glanced back out at the moon, thinking how the girl that it guarded, represented that warm gentle light in every way possible. Michiru drifted back into dreamland, thinking about the young lady that had plague her mind, body and soul for the past two years.