As always I own nothing in connection with Britannia High … apart from the DVDs of course!
Here it is … the next chapter! Whoooooo! Exams are done. Kapow! .. That's right. Kapow! :)
Danny didn't know what to do. So he did nothing. He just sat there whilst the world continued to revolve, whilst people outside of his four wall prison went about their daily lives, whilst his friends watched him silently. He couldn't think of anything other than the one thing that caused all of this, the thing that got him beaten up, the thing that got him locked in a shed over night, and the one thing that ironically would help him wake from this nightmare.
He knew drugs were a bad idea. Danny wasn't stupid. He knew that he could beat the drugs just like he beat dyslexia but the thing was; he was tired of fighting. Danny spent everyday trying to get closer to his dream and each step of the way was agonizingly slow and painful. Dancing was the only thing he was truly good at and he had to prove he was good enough to give his parents reason to let him continue going to Britannia High. The drugs? Well they helped him. Danny reasoned to himself that drugs were the answer, they made him high enough to have the energy to practice and perfect all of his dances and yet they made him tired enough to sleep. He never intended on becoming addicted.
So as he sat on the floor, forced to lock eyes with Jez he realised something, these people were the reason he was like this. If they weren't all perfectionists he wouldn't have gotten the idea in to his head that he had to be one as well because there wouldn't be any competition.
"Get out." Danny's voice was eerily calm and made the hairs on the back of Jez's neck stand up. Never before had he heard a voice so empty of emotion and yet known that emotion was the one thing fuelling it.
"I said GET THE HELL OUT! NOW!" His patience has snapped. He had asked nicely and yet nobody had complied. What Danny didn't realise, however, was that "Get out" wasn't a question. He could barely think because of the constant ringing in his head that was not helped by the pains in his chest, presumably the result of a few bruised ribs, and he just wanted to be left alone.
"Leave me alone. Please Jez I'm fine. Okay? I just need to be alone." Danny tried to reason with Jez, begging him with his eyes, silently praying that they would all leave and he could be alone.
But the truth was that Danny would never be alone. Not with that. That innocent little thing that sat in his hands, staring up at him, taunting him. Offering a peace. An escape. Freedom.
Jez couldn't move. He tried. He did. He wanted to move. Both closer towards Danny to tell him that everything was going to be okay and away from Danny, back to where Lola and BB stood with Lauren a safe distance away from the anger and pain emanating from their friend. He could see the slick layer of sweat that covered his skin. He saw the way Danny shivered and flinched at the sound of his own voice. He knew that the best thing to do was to sit with Danny and talk to him about everything that had happened and discover the reason why he had turned to drugs but right then, at that moment in time, Jez made a fatal error of judgment and stood up slowly. He gave Danny what could be described as a pitying look even though it was meant to be sympathy. But in Danny's eyes it was exactly the opposite of what he had wanted Jez to do.
The drugs were the thing screaming for Danny to be left alone. Danny, himself, was screaming for them to stay, for them, his friends, to tell him that it was all going to be okay. That everything would work out. That they would help him. That he didn't need the drugs to make him perfect because he was good enough already the way he was.
At least that's what he wanted to say. He never had the chance. Because as soon as Jez stood up the shutters in Danny's mind came down. As far as he was concerned he hadn't made the decision. They had. It was their fault. They were meant to be his friends but then what the hell did they care?! No no they were just going to go back to doing the same old thing, school, rehearsing, joking and laughing. Probably at his expense too.
So Danny just stayed sitting. In exactly the same position as before. And watched as Jez moved closer to Lauren and put his arm, reassuringly on her shoulder, probably as a sign of saying that everything was going to be okay. As a way of protecting her from the monster crouched in the corner of the room.
"Danny do you really want us to leave? We will if that's what you want but I'd rather not. I just want to know what's going on with you? We all do. Something's obviously up. Please? Dan … talk to me." Lauren looked at Danny. Her eyes were still crying tears for the pain that the boy she loved felt. She hadn't meant to slap him. She knew in the long run it wouldn't have done any good. Physically paining him more would only push him further away from her. He was already in pain and he needed a way of escaping it and overcoming it. She just wanted to hold him tightly. Ruffle his curly hair. Tell him that it was all going to be okay.
She didn't want it to fade away: be forgotten about like her neuralgia paresthetica. Nobody seemed to notice she had it anymore. She did though. She could never forget. Not like they could. She could never ignore the tingling sensation that ran down her thigh, she could never forget the burning and the way that sometimes she woke in the night with a sharp stabbing pain that took a few agonizing minutes to subside. She hated the drugs that Danny was holding onto as if they were the only thing keeping him alive at the time as much as she hated her peripheral nerve – the one that ruined her dancing. The one that made everything she did seem only good enough. Never perfect. Never great. Just thinking about how much she wanted to help Danny made another round of tears come to her eyes and it was in that moment that she too, like Jez, made a mistake.
She decided that the worst thing to do at the time would be expose Danny to other people who had their own problems. She didn't think that he needed to see her cry because lets face it she thought it's not like he's going to come over here and comfort me. So she turned and walked away. Turning her back on the one person she always thought she could turn to. With each step she took she made the distance between them that little bit bigger. Lola glanced at Danny and immediately decided where her loyalties lay. So she too followed Lauren out of the room, prepared to offer her shoulder for her to cry on, but not before she said to Danny, "I'm here if you want to talk babes."
BB and Jez were left alone with Danny. Not knowing whether they should stay or go. The awkward silence was broken just a moment later when Claudine appeared holding two drinks.
"Okay. I don't normally serve people so you had better be grateful …" Claudine's voice died as she realised that Lauren had left with Lola and that she was now stood, a part of the awkward silence, surrounded by seemingly unbreakable tension.
"Here you go Dan. I'll just go give Lauren hers." Claudine mumbled quickly to Danny and then high-tailed it out of the room. As soon as she got in to the hall she stopped to think. She shouldn't have done that. She should have stayed with him. Helped him fix things. Helped him make everything okay again. She knew she shouldn't have left like Lauren and Lola had but honestly she didn't think that she could handle it. She just wanted everything to go back to how it was.
I hope BB and Jez don't leave. Claudine thought to herself as she knocked on Laurens door and went in.
Then there were three. Funny that. Jez's mind ran in circles. It wouldn't surprise me if I thought of the three musketeers' right about now. Stop Jez. Stop. Jez wished that he had left with Claudine. Wished that he had the courage to go to Danny and take the drugs right out of his hands and make the problem go away. Make everything better. But instead Jez tore his eyes away from Danny and looked to BB. Hoping to find an answer there, in those wise eyes, the eyes that belonged to the boy who won the street dancing, freestyled with ease, and joked about with him on the school radio.
BB felt Jez's on him and so turned to meet his friends questioning gaze. 'Should we go or should we stay?' BB had no answered. He wanted to stay but not as much as he wanted to leave.
"Dan. Look mate. Talk to us. Just, I dunno, you don't even have to tell us about the drugs, even though that would be good." Really BB would that be good? If talking to your angry drug addicted friend about why he loves drugs so much sounds good then I think I'll leave you to it to be honest. Jez thought to himself.
"I told you twice. I won't tell you again. Get the fuck out of my room. You understand or are you too thick? Bet that's why you chose dancing. Yeah you might be good at it and all but you obviously just didn't have any other options. And you, you Jez, living it up in daddy's mansion, yet you lied to everyone, told us all you were skint, that you NEEDED dancing, truth is, you don't know fucking anything about needs. You think your life is so bad. You wallow in self pity. Well you know what. I sure as hell don't need that. I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS"
Danny's voice had risen, as had he, he was no longer on the floor like a coward. No he was on his feet, his own two feet, standing tall, facing the things that caused him to be where he was at that particular moment. He didn't miss the shock that came over his friends faces. He didn't miss the gasps and then eerie silence in Laurens room that was the girls reactions. And he did care. He honestly hadn't those things. But something made him say it. And by saying it he started to wonder if it was the truth.
Whether they were the problem and so, it was with another 'calm after the storm' tone of voice that he said, "And I don't need any of you. Now leave."
And then he advanced upon them with a death stare making BB and Jez think that that their friend was demented. He came closer and closer to them moving slowly as if his feet weren't able to carry him the distance across the room any faster.
At that point BB and Jez left the room. Left their friend. Left him with that. Left him alone.
Alone. Danny had wanted to be alone the entire time that he had had company and yet as soon as he was alone it was the one thing that he did not want. He wanted company. He didn't want to be alone. And that was when he realised that he could never be alone: as long as his trusty friend was by his side to tell him that everything was going to be okay.
So Danny moved towards his bed and sank down. About to find an escape from the world, the one which had led him to the dark place where he had faded, slowly, unmoving and without a sound into a void where it was the only thing able to tell him that everything was going to be okay.
WOW. I LOVED writing that chapter! (: I hope this makes up for how long I've left you without a chapter and story to read (: I finished my LAST SCHOOL EXAM EVER a few hours ago and couldn't wait to write more of this story. I actually found it hard to get back into it ): But it's okay, never fear, because my brain is still here. Its survived school for the past 14 years and I'm sure it will continue to live on and hopefully help me write some more stories! (: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it! Always a pleasure and I love every one of you pure legends! (: (: (: (: (: xx