This is my take of the Sasori vs. Granny Chiyo and Sakura battle. You all are so lucky I don't own Naruto and by the way...


Itachi- 4 votes
Gaara and Sasuke and Neji and Kiba-3 votes
Deidara and Kabuto- 2 votes
Iruka-1 vote


"What, how?" Sasori said as twin swords were pierced though his heart, spilling his purple blood (A/N: yes, his blood is purple, and I think it's because it's old, blood can be purple by the way, or described as such, like how red cabbages are purple x3).

It's over Sakura thought, but instead of feeling relieved, she felt strangely sad.

What's wrong with me, he's an S-class criminal, he tried to kill Granny Chiyo, he tried to kill ME, so why am I sad he got what he deserved?

"You would have been such a beautiful doll, such a pretty one…," Sasori said as he stared at Sakura with those eyes of his, "So beautiful, I could have dressed you in a dress, you could have been my wife. A puppet bride for a puppet man…," he mused as his life blood was dripping away. (A/N: I know this is a repeat,but he has purple blood x3 PURPLE FOUNTAINS! - If you have read Romeo and Juliet, you know what I'm talking about)

What the heck is he talking about? Sakura thought. "What the heck are you talking about?" she said.

"I don't even know, and I'm his grandma," Granny Chiyo said.

"I hate explaining myself, but since I'm going to die anyway, go in my pack and pull out the white scroll," he said. Walking briskly to the other Sasori puppet shell, she pulled a white scroll out of his pack and cautiously walked back, stepping over discarded puppet shells. She glanced at the scroll, as if a snake would pop out of it at any time and bite her.

"It's not dangerous," he said as she was about to hand him the scroll.

"Wait, Granny Chiyo, what if it's a healing scroll, or a weapon scroll, or or or something that will kill us, like a snake, or a dinosaur and he goes RAWR and it doesn't mean I love you?" Sakura said.

"I'm a puppet, what use do I have for a healing scroll, I have used my last weapons, and if I had a scroll that would kill you, why would I go to the trouble of stabbing you, it makes a bigger mess for me to clean later. And where would I get a dinosaur…" Sasori said.

"So if it isn't a healing scroll, a weapon scroll, or a dinosaur, what it is?" Sakura asked.

"Open it," Sasori said. Sakura unraveled the paper roll and gasped. On the paper was a dress design, a wedding dress design. Pure white with cross stitching, the lacey fabric spread out in a full A-line skirt and ended in a short train. The top had a high collar with buttons down the side. The sleeves were petal sleeves and had criss-crossing white ribbons down the arms. The veil barely covering the bride's face in sheer cloth, the crown attached to her Asian inspired updo. Point is: It was stunning.

"Touch the design," Sasori said. Not thinking of the results, Sakura did.

"OH!" she exclaimed as she suddenly found herself IN the dress, hair done, clean, make-up fresh. Her clothes and blood-stained skin on the scroll. Sasori touched the other side, the side facing away from Sakura and he was suddenly in a tailored suit, pockets, trim, and tie lined in red silk, red clouds decorating the black part. However, his hair completely refused to lay down. He opened his hand. Two gold bands lay there. One hand around Sakura neck, just about crushing her windpipe, the other pushing the ring onto her finger. Sakura, just shocked, didn't put up any resistance.

"You WILL marry me," he said. (A/N: How romantic?) Granny Chiyo, being his granny, reacted in the usual way.

"How adorable! My grandson's getting married, to a girl who tried to kill him, no less!" she said.

"Yeah, sorry, Granny. I didn't think she would like being my bride, so I had to try to kill you too, for show," Sasori said.

"I know it, of course," she said, "Wait, aren't you going to die… I didn't know you wouldn't dodge that last attack! Why didn't you?" she said.

"Too busy looking at this little cutie," he said, rubbing noses with Sakura while still keeping a firm grip on her neck, Sakura, completely helpless.

"Ummm, mind letting me know how we are getting married, and do I even have a choice in this?" Sakura asked as Sasori began stroking her neck lovingly.

"Nope," he said, "Unless you want to die, and then I'll make you my puppet bride," he said.

"Sasori! You have to give this girl a choice, and how are you going to marry her? How are you going to stay alive?" Granny Chiyo said.

Sasori turned his eyes to Sakura. "If you put my heart in the box, it will recharge, lke a battery. I want you to bring it to the Atasuki headquarters and if you ask Deidara, he'll show you my body. I preserved it. It's still only fifteen years old. Heal my heart back into my body and I'll wake up," he said.

"And if I refuse?" Sakura said, determined to stay stubborn.

"You want to be a widow?" he asked.

"I didn't even marry you yet, I don't even want to!" she half screamed at him, struggling until his grip on her neck tightened just a bit.

"Are you sure about that? How did you feel when you thought I was going to die?" he asked, his eyes glaring into hers.

"Ahh…Um.. Sad?" Sakura said. I can't think straight with him looking at me like that with those brown eyes. I say let's keep him! He's cute and strong and wants to marry us. We're not going to have problems with commitment, are we? Plus, he's only fifteen…sort of.

"So, being sad means you don't hate me, right?" Sasori said.

"Right, wait no!" Sakura said, "Even if we love each other, marry, and you survive, how can we be together? I think the Hokage would object to the most wanted Atasuki member being married to her apprentice," Sakura said.

"My body is that of a fourteen year old, you can say that I'm the long lost cousin of one of the sand-nins," he said.

"How is that going to work? They'll search their family tree and reject you!" Sakura said.

"Fourteen years ago, a young woman was walking though the woods. She told me that her husband had divorced her and kicked her out of the house when he found out she was the third cousin, four times removed of the sister, of the uncle, of the niece, of the adopted brother, of the half aunt of the sister of the step-uncle of the grand cousin of the holder of the One-tail. She was about to give birth and told me to help her. Sadly, she and her child died in labor, and I had to bury them," Sasori said.

"So the child who died, was related to …Gaara?" Sakura asked.

"Yep," Sasori said as his grandma nodded.

"And…you look like Gaara!" she said. (A/N: How many people got it before Sakura? x3)

"Exactly!" he said.

"So we sneak you in as that child!" she said.

"No duh!" Sasori said, "And that's if you get my heart out of these infernal knives!"

"OH! Sorry!" Sakura said as she and Granny Chiyo pulled the knives out and healed the wounds with charka.

"Okay, now, Granny, can you marry us?" Sasori said.

"Of course, I'm glad I get to go to my grandson's wedding, before I die," she said, grinning.

"Granny? But I'll miss you," Sasori said. (A/N: Search lovely grandson on deviant art and you'll understand a little bit where I got this idea from x3)

"I have to do something right before I die," she said.

"I understand," Sasori said, though sadness shone in his eyes.

"No tears now, we can't have the groom and bride crying, can we?" she said, "Now, let's get started.

"I do," Sasori said, as he slipped the ring onto Sakura's finger, "And Sakura does too," .

"Hey! I don't get a say in this?" Sakura said.

"Nope!" Sasori and his grandma said. ( Cute, aren't they?)

"You may now kiss the bride," Granny Chiyo said with tears in her eyes, her darling grandson was married!

Sasori gently kissed Sakura on the mouth.

"Now, we need to get back to business," he said, "Sakura, touch the scroll and you'll be back in your old clothes, take the blue box out of my bag, it has enough charka to keep my heart alive for days, put my heart in it. There's a map next to it to the Akatsuki headquarters, use my other ring to open the lair, go there and ask for a guy named Deidara to bring you to Sasori's body. Heal my heart in my body, and I'll be there. Until then, keep my heart safe, I've left it with you (A/N: Sorry, just had to use it x33)," he said smiling at his little bride.

"But how do you know that I won't betray you, how do you know I wouldn't give up Akatsuki's location?" Sakura asked. How could he trust her so completely, she was his mortal enemy and he was trusting her with his life and the life of the organization he belonged to.

"Do you want to be a widow?" he asked, then chuckled, "I don't know why, but I trust you for some reason, the same reason I wanted to marry you I guess," Sakura couldn't help herself, she smiled at his statement.

"So, do you want to put in my heart in its box now?" he said, "And I suggest touching the scroll now unless you want to be tripping on your train all day," he said, a childish look on his face.

"I guess so. You better hope I don't lose it," she joked as her normal clothes appeared on her body.

"I guess I'm spending my reception saving Gaara from my husband's gang," she said as she poked his heart out. (A/N: That sounds weird 0.o) Husband…it was a weird word to call Sasori, but it felt right.