Escape from Isla de Pelegostos, Part 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.
Captain Jack Sparrow wearily opened his eyes. He felt terrible. Every inch of his body was in pain. Especially his head. It felt as if he had the world's worst hangover. That was saying a lot, considering the fact that Jack was often drunk.
Jack tried to stand up. But he couldn't. His feet wouldn't touch the ground. For a moment, Jack thought he was floating in mid-air. Then he realized that he was tied to a pole. Jack looked around. He took note that he was in some sort of primal village. It looked vaguely very much like the one on Isla De Pelegostos.
Jack spotted his friend, Will Turner, hanging from a similar pole. Will was knocked out cold. Jack thought Will was dead at first, until he heard the soft sound of the younger man's gentle breathing.
"Will", Jack whispered loudly. "Will, wake up!" Jack was frustrated that he couldn't move. He wished there was some way to nudge will awake.
Then Will's eyes suddenly popped open.
"Jack", said Will, "Where are we?"
"That's a very good question, mate", said Jack. "I don't really know the answer to that myself. But it looks eerily familiar, don't you think?" he asked. "Now do you mind getting me down? I'd do it myself, except I seemed to have misplaced my sword."
"I'd love to help you, Jack, said Will. "But I'm stuck too. Oh, wait, I found my knife. I think I can cut through these ropes with it. When I'm free, I'll come over and help you."
"Fine", said Jack. "You do that. But make it quick. I don't have all day here."
Will quickly cut himself free from his bonds. He was careful not to cut his skin in the process. Then Will went over to Jack. He quickly cut his bonds too. Jack fell to the ground. He landed with a hard thud. But the pirate quickly raised himself back up again, without any help from Will.
"Thanks for the help," Jack said sarcastically. "I was wondering what was taking you so long." Will didn't say anything. He started walking away. Jack followed him. They turned back around when they heard a voice call for them.
"Hey! What about us?!" It was Pintel who had spoken. He was with his best friend, Ragetti . Instead of being tied to poles like Jack and Will had been, they were trapped inside a cage.
"What are you two doing here?" asked Jack.
"We've been here the whole time", said Ragetti. "And I see you've failed to notice that until now. Anyway, like Pintel said, can you get us out of here, please?" he asked.
"Sure", said Will. He took out his knife.
"I don't know about this, Turner", said Jack. "Are you sure that little dagger of yours can cut through whatever it is that this cage is made up of?" he asked. Pintel and Ragetti were freed in an instant.
"I rest my case", said Jack. "Now I trust that no one else we know is here too. Good. Let's get out of here." He turned to leave, only to be met by a spear point being shoved in his face. An angry-looking warrior was holding the spear. The warrior glared at Jack. Soon more people began to gather around them. Jack's worst fears had come true. He was indeed back on Isla De Pelegostos. "Oh, bugger", he said. "Not you people again."
"Jack, aren't these the people who made you their chief, thought you were a god, and then tried to eat you?" asked Will.
"Aye", said Jack, with a nod of his head. "They are."
"Would they remember you?" asked Will. "If you can convince them that you really are their chief, they might let us go."
Jack proceeded to speak with the Pelegostos. He talked to them in their own language, which he could surprisingly speak and understand very well. The conversation lasted only a few minutes. When it was over, Jack turned back to face Will, Pintel and Ragetti.
"I have good news and bad news", said Jack. "The good news is that they still remember me."
"What's the bad news?" asked Ragetti.
"I'm afraid to say that they still want to eat us." Will, Pintel and Ragetti groaned, and hung their heads in defeat. ""But here's where more good news comes in", Jack went on. "They're going to wait until tomorrow to do it."
The four friends were thrown into a small hut. It was here that they were to remain until tomorrow. Night fell quickly on the island. Will was in the middle of a deep, peaceful sleep, when he felt someone kick him. He opened his eyes to see Jack leaning over him.
"What?" Will asked sleepily. He was silenced when Jack put a finger to his lips.
"Shh", said Jack. "Don't let them hear you. Come on. We're getting out of here." Jack, Will, Pintel and Ragetti exited the hut. They got as far as a small clearing. They were shocked to see a bunch of Pelegostos there. Most of them were just sitting around, and doing nothing. But some of them were sharpening their knives.
"Cannibals", said Ragetti. The tone of his voice conveyed a mixture of both fear and disgust. "I hate cannibals. So what's your plan for getting past those guys?" he asked Jack.
"Live bait", Jack told him.
"Good idea", said Ragetti. Then he realized Jack's true intentions. "Hey", he said defensively.
"Come on, Ragetti", said Jack. "You guys have to create a diversion."
"What do you want me to do?!" asked Ragetti. "Dress in drag and do the Hula?!" He and Pintel jumped out into the middle of the clearing. Ragetti was now wearing a pink dress, that magically seemed to come out of nowhere.
Luau! he began to sing.
Are you hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat?
Eat my buddy Pintel here, because he is a treat
Come on down and dine on this pal of mine
All you gotta do is bring some wine
Are you aching? he asked
Yup, yup, yup, Pintel chimed in.
For a guy who smells like bacon? Ragetti continued.
Yup, yup, yup, said Pintell.
He's a big guy
You can be a big guy too! Oi!
Ragetti ended his song with a pelvic thrust. Then he and Pintel ran away screaming, as the pack of hungry Pelegostos chased them.
"What do we do now, Jack?" asked Will.
"I say we follow suite, and run screaming like little girls, too", said Jack. He and Will ran away screaming. Their arms flailed in the air. When they reached the shore, Jack and Will found Pintel and Ragetti waiting for them. Miraculously, a boat was there, as well. Will, Pintel and Ragetti got inro the boat. Jack stayed behind to address the Pelegostos, as they came crashing through the trees.
"Alas, my children!" he shouted. "This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you, once again, almost ate captain Jack Sparrow!" Then Jack got into the boat, and they sailed away.
"Where to, captain?" Pintel asked Jack, when they were out on the open ocean.
"Set a course for Tortuga", said Jack. "After that experience, I feel in the mood for a good drink."
A/N: 1.) I won't say the name of the movie that Pintel and Ragetti's diversion pays homage to. Everyone's seen it. But I'd be happy if someone could tell me what movie it is. It's a pretty easy reference to recognize. But I will say that I took some creative liberties, and changed the lyrics of the Hula song just a tiny bit, to better fit Pintel and Ragetti.
2.) Ragetti's pink dress is indeed the very same one that he was wearing during the "Trojan Horse" scene of Curse of the Black Pearl. Originally, I was going to have Ragetti wear a Hula skirt. But I thought that dress fit him better.
3.) When Jack says "Alas, my children. This is the day you shall always remember as they day that you, once again almost ate captain Jack Sparrow", I think that is really what he was about to say in Dead Man's Chest, before the wave crashes on top of him.