Hello, hello everyone. So I decided to come back. I know Twilight isn't as popular as it was when I first started this but my story actually came up in my dream and I found some motivation to finish it. It's been one hell of a road and reading back on these chapters has shown me how grammatically incorrect I was in highschool lol. I hope some of you are still out there, hoping that I started writing again. If so, thanks for reading and staying engaged with my story. For the new readers that may come across this, I hope you enjoy this just as much.
Now let's get back to Kanti & Embry, shall we?
"Stay with me?"
"Yes. I was hoping you would ask me to." He admitted as he pulled me closer to him to lay down on my bed. I threw my arm around his chest and snuggled close to him.
"Because I think I'm going to disappoint everyone…as much as I know it's wrong for me and everything." I didn't have to finish my sentence for him to understand what I was talking about.
"You won't…you're strong enough. I know you can."
"No, please. These past weeks have been so fucking hard that I can't even fathom how I haven't gotten high or drunk. I am really sorry for everything I've done and what I've put everyone through. Especially you, but I can't be as sorry as everyone thinks I should be. I can't be sorry for trying to find happiness at the end of a bottle of vodka or shoving what made me happy up my nose because for the longest time, I felt like happiness was taken away from me. I still do most of the time. I searched for it…anywhere I could find it. I can't be sorry for something I've desired because that's truly all I want. To be content with you by my side, still have my family in my life, everything I could imagine and more. But that's not even the worst part. I would think of you and the mere image of your face would boost me up until it was washed away by guilt for smiling, laughing, or feeling something even remotely close to gladness. I feel in the wrong when I pretend or I am enjoying myself because it's only been a bit over 6 months since my dad's accident…"
I shook my head as tears almost filled my eyes, pushing them away. "I don't want people to think I've gotten over my parents' deaths but I don't want to show them I'm weak either. Do you understand what I mean by that?" I regained my composure and sighed in relief.
"You're nowhere near weak. You just stopped yourself from crying. That takes a lot of strength to do and you're the strongest person I know. Do you really think you're parents; especially your father, wouldn't want you to enjoy yourself and be happy in life?" I stayed quiet and played around with the hem of my shirt, not wanting to accept what he was saying.
"Listen to me…" He gained my attention and I stared at him as the moonlight beautifully hit his profile and emphasized the smallest details of his face. "I will do whatever it takes to make you feel that way again. I want to make you feel on top of the world. I will try my hardest to help you live your life to the fullest; to make you feel worth living for, fighting for, crying for...But in order for me to do that, you have to know your own worth too."
I sat there in silence, finally realizing that he is right about how I value myself as a being. Embry could tell there was a lot on my mind. He passed his hand over my furrowed eyebrows and forehead. I smirked to myself and calmed my pensive expression.
He kissed the top of my curly head and sighed. "I know you're tired. And you decided to take someone's shift tomorrow morning so let's try to get some rest…," he reminded me.
I didn't argue with that. I was immensely exhausted, physically and mentally. But tomorrow was another day I had get through. As much as I wanted to stay up and talk to him, it was in my best interest to get some sleep for this early shift. I closed my eyes, snuggled as close as I could and slowly started falling asleep in his embrace.
The fact that I was holding her at the moment made me so happy. I couldn't sleep because I was too excited for us to be like this again. It felt like an eternity passed since we were this close to each other but I didn't want to impose. On top of that, I was reflecting on my own actions. Good and bad. Especially the bad. Hooking up with Amber was such a mistake but Kanti received it better than I expected. She must really love me…
I looked down at Kanti and admired how peaceful she looked sleeping. She knocked out so fast but she needed this rest more than ever. I can't imagine the amount of sleepless nights she's had lately, especially all alone. I brushed over her hair and temple with my hands, knowing she loved that feeling as she slept. She murmured a bit before adjusting herself more comfortably on me.
I think she's so damn adorable. The entire time she was upset, I just wanted to kiss her endlessly and make her feel better. I know it's my duty to protect her, love her, and give her the world. And I truly, will never leave her side as her soul mate.
I kissed her head again and felt myself getting a little tired as well but knew I had to go on my rounds shortly. I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over her body, adjusted her head on the pillow, and slipped out of her cuddling slowly. I stood up from the bed and kissed her forehead a few more times, whispered "I love you…" and turned around to walk out the room.
I wanted to finish my rounds as soon as possible to return to her. "You better be in this bed when I wake up tomorrow…" I heard her say softly. I grinned and laughed lightly, "I will. Go to sleep."
"Love you too…" she said right before I left. I closed the door behind me lightly and couldn't help but smile out of joy for being back with her.
I stepped outside and phased in the backyard into the woods. I could hear the frantic thoughts of Quil and Jacob but they were all over the place.
"DUDE! Where have you been!?"Quil asked. Jacob sneered at Quil a little bit.
"Q, I told you to chill…," Jacob said. I could tell something was up but Jacob was too good at controlling his thoughts so I could never exactly tell.
"I was with Kanti, we were talking things over… is everything cool?"
Quil and Jacob reached me on both sides and came closer towards me. Something out of the ordinary was up. I hoped it isn't evil vampires from out of town. I thought we got rid of those already.
"Everyone's safe," Jake assured.
Quil's thoughts started to circulate mines even more and I started to grab pieces of what he wanted to tell me.
"It's Amber…" Jacob started.