Disclaimer: I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N-So this is just a little something…I dunno. Sometimes it's easier to just write scenes than an entire story. So this story is a series of vignettes about James and Lily at various points of their relationship. One story for every letter of the alphabet.
Chapter One: A is for Apology
7th Year – Dating – Lily's POV
"Are you not speaking to me now? Is that what this is?" James yelled angrily behind me. He had been following me for a while now; all the way across the grounds and now through the entrance hall and up two flights of stairs. I could hear his footsteps echoing in the empty corridor, bouncing off the walls at a much faster rate than mine were. Our purposes were different though. He was trying to catch up with me. I was stomping as loudly as I could to show how angry I was. Overly dramatic? Maybe. But you better believe James knew I was pissed.
"After what you said, I should do a lot worse than not speak to you!" I called over my shoulder, though making sure not to make eye contact or slow down. My eyes have a nasty habit of tearing up whenever James and I fight and I'd really rather not face him crying right now.
"After what I said? What did I say? I didn't even have time to say 'hello' to you before you stormed back into the castle!" he yelled exasperatedly. He was catching up to me. I could hear his voice much more clearly now and I wiped desperately at my cheeks because I knew that even if I burst into a full fledged sprint now he would catch me easily. What with those freakishly long legs of his.
"Answer me, Lily," he demanded as he reached for my arm and spun me around to face him. It still surprised me that as angry as he was (and he was angry – his normally amused hazel eyes were dark and stormy) he could still be so gentle. Yet as his eyes swept over my face, I watched his eyes go from dark and stormy to concerned. "Why are you crying?" His voice was calmer, though the anger was still present.
After fruitlessly trying to pull out of his grasp, I went limp. But giving in just made the tears come faster.
A moment passed and he lifted a hand to my cheek to sweep a tear away with his thumb. "Tell me what I did," he pleaded quietly. "I don't like making you cry."
Acting like a two year-old throwing a temper tantrum rather than the seventeen year-old I am, I pushed away from him as hard as I could. Narrowing my eyes, I spat out, "Well, you're not, so don't flatter yourself," and then turned on my heel and walked away. I tried to remain calm as I headed for the portrait hole. My footsteps were the only ones I could hear, but I knew that he was standing in the same spot, his shoulders slumped in defeat, watching me walk away from him.
As soon as I heard the portrait close behind me, I bolted. I was aware that every eye in the Gryffindor common room was on me as I ran through and disappeared up the girls' staircase, but at that particular moment in time, I didn't really care. Mary caught a glimpse of my face as I tore into the room but didn't have time to get to me before I drew the curtains tightly around my bed. I could hear her pad across the room and stop by my bed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other the way she does when she's undecided or nervous about something. And then I heard her move away and leave the dormitory, discretely giving me the privacy she knew I needed.
As I lay on my back, staring blankly at the scarlet canopy above my bed, the tears returned. I knew why I cried when I fought with James but not when I fought with my other friends. It was fear. Ever since we started dating, I'd been worrying about the fight that would finally end the fairytale we live in. It seemed inevitable. We argued too much. And even though our big blowout fights were few and far between now, we still bickered too much. Even when it is just playful teasing, I am constantly in fear that the next one will be the big one. It will be the one that pushes one or both of us over the edge.
At first it didn't worry me as much. I had figured that getting together meant an eventual breakup, but I knew that he was worth it. But now…I loved him too much. Losing him would be unbearable.
And I knew that this wasn't the one. I knew that when I finally stopped acting crazy and James and I sat down and talked it through like we always did that things would be fine. I know that he will pull me close and whisper "I love you," in my ear. Then he'll tease me about overreacting and I'll tell him he's a prat and we'll both laugh and move on until our next fight. And then it will happen all over again…until at last it doesn't anymore.
And I don't want to know what happens after that.
Amber rays of sunlight spilled through the window and into the dormitory as the sun began to set. I heard a set of slow footsteps make their way up the staircase and stop outside my door. Then came the knock.
And then his voice. "Lily…please, open the door." I hated it whenever he came up here. He would never tell me how he managed it without the staircase turning into a slide. But he sounded tired and his voice was pleading, so I pulled the curtains slowly back and made my way across our messy dorm and over to the door. I could see the outline of his body through the opaque glass. He was leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his pockets.
As I cracked open the door, just wide enough so that he couldn't see inside, he looked up at me and all final traces of anger left me. "Hey," I murmured before opening the door the rest of the way. He recognized the invitation and wasted no time moving forward and wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me into his chest.
Allowing his scent to wash over me, I sighed deeply. He kissed my forehead gently and then followed me as I walked over to my bed. He stood at the edge like he always does, waiting for me to give the final okay that he is allowed to sit down. It was endearing and sweet. I had thought he would get over it eventually, but he hadn't yet and I still thought it was cute.
"Are you going to tell me why you're mad at me now?" he asked as he leaned back on the headboard next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he took my hand in his and absentmindedly traced patterns on my wrist with his thumb. "I'm not mad at you anymore," I whispered, smiling.
A chuckle escaped his lips as he turned his head so that he could lock eyes with me. "Okay…will you tell me why you were mad at me earlier then?"
"Are you willing to bargain with me?" I asked playfully. He narrowed his eyes but waited for me to continue. "I'll tell you if you promise not to tell me that I'm just overreacting." He grinned in spite of himself but shook his head and muttered, "Not a chance," before kissing me softly. "Fine then, I…uh…I overheard you talking to Sirius…out by the lake." He continued to look at me, confusion etched into his features.
"And…" he prompted when I didn't continue.
"And…I heard you tell him that he should break up with Jenny because she has a weird laugh."
"Annoying is the word I believe I used. Her laugh is annoying. But I still don't get why that upset you. I thought you didn't even really like her…"
"Actually, I'm quite fond of her for your information. I just don't like her dating Sirius. But that's beside the point." I sighed, knowing that what I was about to say would probably sound insane to him. "The point is that you told him to break up with her over something stupid like an annoying laugh…what is that supposed to make me think about us? If that's your advice to him…then how long until I do something that annoys you enough to make you break up with me? And for that matter, why haven't you done it before now? Because I know for sure that I've done plenty of things that drive you crazy…"
Again with the damn tears. My voice was getting shakier and shakier as I continued to speak, but anger flared up and licked my insides as his body began shaking with silent laughter. "Lily…that is quite possibly your greatest overreaction yet. To think that you could ever do anything annoying enough to make me break up with you is just…just…ridiculous!"
As he continued laughing, tears of mirth forming in the corners of his eyes, I just stared at him, my mouth gaping open. "I don't see why it's funny." When he continued to be unable to speak through the laughter, I kept talking. "It only makes sense that the relationship advice you give to others is the advice you yourself would follow."
"Are you crazy?" he laughed.
"Apparently," I stated sarcastically. "And stop laughing," I demanded.
"All right…sorry," he chuckled, still trying to wipe that stupid grin off of his face. "Baby…I was telling Padfoot that he needed to break up with Jenny. It's completely different with you and me." I was looking at him skeptically, hoping that his explanation got better than that. "He's dating her because she's someone to occupy his time…just something to do when he's bored. She doesn't actually mean anything to him. You…" he smiled genuinely at me, "Lily, you mean everything to me. Don't ever doubt that," he whispered, lifting his hand to my cheek again and softly caressing it.
And then he did what he always does. He hugged me close and then whispered, "I love you," in my ear. Then he teased me about overreacting and I called him a prat. We lay on my bed for a few more minutes and then got up and headed to dinner, hand in hand.
A/N-I hope you liked it. This is just a little something for me to do to keep the creative juices flowing whenever I don't have time to write a long chapter in Our Moments. Don't worry about that. I'm still really excited about the next chapter of that story.
The next chapter will be "B is for Bravery" so any guesses as to what is in store for the next chapter? How about dropping me a review and letting me know what you think! Thanks everyone!