A/N: Enjoy! This is supposed to be funni, but if it's not, sorry. I have a warped sense of humor.

Disclaimer: Nope. Kingdom Hearts isn't mine.

Kairi's birthday was today, and Sora wanted to give her something good. He thought long and hard about potential presents, and he eventually came to a decision—he'd bake Kairi a cake. It would be a heartwarming gift, and she'd surely love it.

His experience with cooking only consisted of Easy Mac and Ramen Noodle Soup, but he was sure that making a cake would be a cinch. Cooking didn't seem too difficult. All it consisted of was mixing and putting stuff in the oven. Simple.

Until he actually tried doing it.

First, he tried cracking the eggs. During his first attempt, he smashed it against the bowl too hard, and egg gunk was all over the floor. For his second attempt, he dropped the entire eggshell inside the bowl on accident. Finally, on his third try, he managed the procedure of cracking the eggshell inside the bowl correctly. There were bits of eggshell inside the bowl, but it probably wouldn't hurt anything.

Next, he had to figure out the measurements. Before he realized his mistake, he'd accidentally added two tablespoons of salt instead of two teaspoons. But there wasn't much of a difference between the two, right? Sora shrugged and moved on to the next step, still confident.

Eventually, he had the batter complete with all of the ingredients stirred in well. He was really proud of his accomplishment, certain that Kairi would like it. All he had to do was put it in the oven, watch the time, and put the icing on. Then—viola!—the cake would be finished. This was easy! If Sora could kill a thousand heartless, he could definitely bake a cake.

But it sure would take a long time to bake. He decided to watch cartoons while he waited for the cake to be finished. Nothing really good was on TV, so he surfed the channels out of boredom. It really was a lengthy wait, but at least he was lying comfortably on the couch…

It came to Sora's attention that something was burning. But what? He got up, yawned, and rubbed his eyes. Hmm…he must have fallen asleep. Well, apparently he'd needed the nap…

What was that smell anyway?

Sora stretched contently—and then it came to him. THE CAKE! Crap!

He ran to the kitchen and flung the oven door open. Smoke came pouring out, and the fire alarm began beeping in a panic. Ignoring the blaring noise, Sora peered in the oven to see his cake—or rather, what was left of it.

His cake was now simply a lump of scorched batter. It was crisp and hard, and it smelled horrible. He couldn't give this to Kairi now!

Kairi was going to be at his house any minute, and all he had to give her was a pile of unidentifiable rubbish.

He sighed and admitted defeat. Cooking was not easy. He'd steer clear of the oven from now on.

He picked up his phone, dialed Kairi's number, and decided to do what any sensible guy would…

"Hi, Kairi. Yeah, there's a change of plans. We're going to meet at Xigbar's Pizza Palace instead…"

A/N: First chapter in a collection of oneshots. Written from experience. I doubt Sora can cook, seeing as he's been too busy saving worlds to try it out.

I'll update...um...when I get to it... (LOL) Reviews are appreciated!