Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just borrowing them.
Summary: But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.
A/N: This story is completed so it's just a matter of me remembering to update here. If I forget, PM me and I'll push one through. It's really short; only 5 short chapters. It was meant to be something to get me writing again so it's not much. And I'm afraid I lost interest rather quickly so it dwindled. I apologize for the suckage. I'm an angst whore, if you didn't know, so be prepared. Reviews are better than a shirtless Jason Morgan. *drools* [thumbs up]
Her Sweetest Downfall
He pushed the button for the elevator and stood patiently waiting. It had been a long, exhausting day and all he really wanted to do was lay in their bed with her laying protectively in his arms, snuggled to his chest. She was the one thing in this world that brought him peace yet tormented him at the same time. It wasn't her fault, he knew, but it still wasn't easy on him.
At night, he liked to hold her, watching her peaceful face surrounded by her dark hair, and just remember. He never thought his heart could hold so much love for a single human being but every time his eyes met hers, his chest swelled with so much love it felt like his heart would burst. Other times, he'd watch her while she was oblivious to him there, and the pain radiating through his body would be so strong, he'd have to leave the room, the overwhelming sense of loss becoming too much for him.
Most of the time, he knew he wasn't enough for her. For the last couple of months, his business had changed. He was no longer Sonny's enforcer but rather he sat behind the desk and took care of the behind the scenes stuff. It wasn't enough yet, but he was working toward getting out altogether. But still, some days, like today, he had to work late. And he knew it was far from enough. But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.
The day had been a quiet one, which wasn't usually a good sign in his line of business, but he was grateful for it anyway. For hours, his concentration was lacking, his mind too preoccupied with the brunette waiting at home for him. The past couple of months had been strained between them, the tensioned rolled off in waves, a repercussion of the news that Dr. Meadows had delivered.
Sam wanted a child more than anything, and at first he was weary on it, but eventually he realized it was what he wanted too. More than anything he wanted to see her pregnant and happy again. This time with his child. And now their hopes were temporarily crushed.
One year.
They had to wait a whole year to get pregnant. And Sam had been devastated. She was ready to throw caution to the wind and tempt fate anyway. She wanted a baby. But he couldn't chance it. Not if it meant putting her life and their child in danger. And he couldn't image his life without her in it anymore.
She hadn't been happy with him. He knew she was just upset in general and he was the closest person for her to lash out at. He hadn't taken any of it personally. But he wanted her happy. And he wasn't sure she was anymore. With a heavy sigh, he unlocked the door and tossed his keys onto the desk.
He glanced up and immediately noticed her standing near the pool table, her gaze connecting with his and never wavering. She didn't say anything, just stared at him in silence. It was all that he needed anyway. Her eyes gave her away, every single thought and emotion ran ramped behind her big brown eyes and a bundle of nerves settled in the pit of his stomach.
He saw her apprehension, her fear, and her hope. But above all, her joy. And he knew it was exactly what she was feeling because he was feeling it too. He knew without her having to say anything, but he still needed to hear her say it.
When her eyes filled with tears, he remembered everything. The phone call from Dr. Meadows. The arguments. The tears she had shed. The one passion filled, unprotected night that would forever change his life; that threatened everything he knew he needed. He remembered and an intense fear wrapped itself around his heart. He had been through fires, faced down bullets, and battled in war after war, but he knew he was about to face the biggest fight of his life. Keeping her alive.
He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly dry. He wanted to say something but he wasn't sure what to say. He was happy but he felt like he shouldn't be. He was scared to believe that everything would be okay. Because if it wasn't..
He opened his mouth to tell her that he needed to hear her say the words but she nodded her head, cutting him off. She knew but she still hesitated. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who knew just how much this was about to change everything. It was what she had wanted but the fear still stood out in her eyes. She briefly closed her eyes and took a calming deep breath. And finally, the words that would forever change them both.
"I'm pregnant."