A/N- Okay, so I'm not solid on the timeline of the Sookie-verse. So, I'm going by the Potter-verse timeline…I'm setting this in the time of Order of the Phoenix…which roughly makes the year of this one-shot 1995. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter, that belongs to JK Rowling. I also don't own the Sookie Stackhouse series or any related characters, that belongs to Charlaine Harris.


Join Me or…Die?

Voldemort appeared outside the building he knew his was destination. It was only hours after sundown…ample time for them to be awake. He swept across the cement parking lot right up to the door, not caring if any filthy muggle saw him or not. He was stopped at the door by a blonde, dressed in jeans and a pastel pink sweater. Her hair was in a straight braid and hanging over one shoulder. She crossed her arms.

"The club's not open yet," she said, smirking at him.

Voldemort cast his eyes on the building. It had clearly not been in use for many years. The previous paint job was chipped in many places and fading in others. And just by what he could see past the woman, the furnishings were in quite a disarray, most likely from teenagers breaking in. When he looked back at her, he had a smirk of his own.

"Club? This place is barely fit for farm animals. I've come to see Eric, Pam. And I will pass," he said.

When Pam grinned at him, her fangs were bared. Voldemort's smirk widened to a grin. Pam shook her head, turning.

"Fine, Voldemort. I'll take you to him."

He followed her inside, aware of the eyes of the other vampires on him as they passed through the rooms. However, he showed no fear. Pam came to a stop outside a wooden, pealing door. She jerked a thumb in the door's direction.

"Eric's in his office. Be sure to knock," she said, leaving him there.

However, he had no need. Eric appeared in the doorway, his own blond hair hanging about his shoulders. He was dressed in a plain, white t-shirt and black jeans. He shook his head and turned, going to his desk. However, he left the door open. Voldemort stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.

"What do you want, wizard?" Eric asked, folding his hands on the top of his desk.

There was no other seat in the office, so the dark wizard was left standing. He pulled his wand out, holding it limply at his side. One could never take too many precautions.

"I have arisen again, Eric," he said.

Eric yawned, and since Voldemort knew that vampires had no need for air, he knew it was staged.

"Spare me your theatrics. Get to the point. I'm trying to prepare my business."

Voldemort grimaced. "Very well. I'm gathering my dark forces. I have already extended my hand to the giants. I am here, personally, to extend my hand in friendship to you and your kind, Northman."

Eric shook his head, sighing. "Why come to me, and not the queen of this area? Or one closer to your home?"

"I know your age. And I know your influence. Congratulations, by the way, on becoming Sheriff of Area Five."

Eric grinned. "Thank you. In that case, allow me to speak for my kind in saying this. We have no interest in joining you. Sorry you made the trip."

Voldemort growled, stepping forward and slowly raising his wand. Eric arched a brow.

"You will join me!" the wizard hissed.

Eric actually snorted when he laughed. "Or what? Die? You know that wand spells like your Killing Curse have no affect on us. No. We're not joining you. We're about to make ourselves known to the world…very soon. Two weeks, in fact. And being allied to a dark wizard would be bad press, as they say."

Voldemort lowered his wand, thoughtful. "You could consider it repayment for that favor you owe me. The one you indebted yourself to last time our paths crossed."

"Not quite how I remember that, actually. Besides, your society is one of secrets. That would be double trouble for us if we allied. Can't have a bunch of angry wizards after us, can we? The answer is still no. Now, if you please, remove yourself from my property."

At this, Eric stood. The former Viking was a menacing figure at over six feet. Voldemort knew he had lost this battle. However, he was not one to give up without a fight. He flung his wand out, about to cast Cruciatus. However, Eric was faster, knocking Voldemort back, literally, through the door. The dark wizard slid a few feet on his back, up the hall, coming to a stop at Pam's feet. Eric stood in the doorway of his office, fangs bared.

"Bad move, wizard. But I'm trying to quit my habit of killing humans. Pam, show our…guest the way out."

Pam looked down at Voldemort as Eric disappeared back into his office. She smiled.

"Do I really need to show you?" she asked.

Voldemort got to his feet. And, unable to think of a single threat to make on these vampires, he snarled. And apparated away.


End Notes: So, yeah, Voldemort got pwned by Eric. Squee, Eric! Okay, I hope everyone liked this! Please review!