Author's Note: Thanks to SK101 (there are NO fangirls) and Admiral Norrington who reviewed the first time around…like two years ago.

Oh, sigh.

Every story has the obligatory "short chapter," so yeah. At least no one died.


"No! You can't make me go!"

Jack howled, kicked, scratched, bit, screamed, pulled, pushed, and slapped his way back to the secure handhold of the banister and yet again his crew, led by haughty Anamaria herself, followed him back, prying away his fingers and dragging him, screaming bloody murder, to the gangplank.

"Jack Sparrow, I demand you stop this behavior immediately!"

"No!"

"Jack!"

"NO!"

"JACK!"

"Coming, dear…"