"So, Mr. Sparrow," began McCoy once they were free from prying ears, "Is this your first job?"

Not one to think before speaking or before doing anything else, Jack blurted, "Well, as a matter of fact, I worked primarily in pillaging."


"Yes, sir."

"Very good. Anything else?"

Jack frowned, imagining a skill such as pillaging to be a given.

No matter. There is plenty where that came from.

"And killing…"

"Ah, killing, killing!" crowed Steve, appearing rather joyous at the mention of such a macabre subject, "Good for relieving stress, especially if it is a customer!"

Jack cringed, knowing full well that the Almighty himself wouldn't come to his aid.

"That'll do, Jack!" laughed Steve, patting him on the shoulder, "You've got the job."

NOOOOO! Think, brother!


"I beg your pardon?"

"I adore wenches, your lordship, if you know what I mean."

Silence won the men over for a moment as Steve, who happened to be a rather stupid ignoramus, brayed loudly, throwing back his head as if he were laughing at something that was actually funny.

This was not.

This, ladies and gentlemen, was Captain Jack Sparrow's pathetic attempt to bail himself out of a rather large and exceptionally muddy hole.

"Well, Mr. Sparrow, that appreciation of yours is nothing to be ashamed of. Why, in my prime, I was a rather fetching chaser of tail myself. Mmm, yes…"

Jack gaped in unrequited horror at the man before him, part of his soul freezing over just as the other shouted in triumphant awe, blinded by the sheer awesomeness he alone saw in him. This man – no, this manager – had no care whatsoever as to what Jack had done and was doing and was about to hire the dirtiest, foulest, sexiest pirate in all the seven seas. Jack giggled maniacally as McCoy gave him a quick smile before resuming the employment paperwork.

Yes, thought he, rubbing his beaded goatee with unmatched glee, this is going to be a fun month.

Author's Note: James Norrington = yumm-o.
This AN brought to you by the Random Fluff and Nonsensical Beings Committee.