I'm leaving the notes for the ending. I'll be over here crying in the corner while you finish this. *sniff, sniff*
See you at the end!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns them, and she has finally hunted me down and taken them back. I'll miss you, Edward!
Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away your tears
Just close your eyes dear
"Possession" ~ Sarah McLachlan
"So it was a combination of things there at the end, but what it really boiled down to was... Bella." I couldn't stop beaming with pride as I looked at my wife.
I was sitting in the middle of our family back at the house, catching everyone up to speed with what had really been going on in the minds of the Volturi. I was camped out on the couch, surrounded by the most important women in my life; Bella was to my left, tucked into my side while Renesmee slept in her lap, and Alice was tucked into my right, listening intently to all that she had missed. I didn't ever want to let them go.
All of the superfluous vampires that had taken root in our home recently had made a quick exit the moment we returned. We were left now only with Huilen and Nahuel, who had surprisingly chosen to stay behind and get to know us all better. Carlisle was thrilled, as this gave him more time to study them.
I continued on. "Alice gave Aro the excuse he needed to get out of the fight. If he hadn't been so terrified of Bella, he probably would have gone ahead with their original plan."
"Terrified? Of me?" It amazed me that even now she didn't fully realize her own power.
"When will you ever see yourself clearly?" I whispered to her. I turned back to the rest of the room. "The Volturi haven't fought a fair fight in about twenty-five hundred years. And they've never, never fought one where they were at a disadvantage. Especially since they gained Jane and Alec, they've only been involved with unopposed slaughterings." I couldn't help laughing then, recalling out loud their appalled expressions and thoughts when they realized that we were going to give them as good as we got.
"Hard to feel confident when you're surrounded by horse-sized wolves," Emmett joked. Jacob smiled widely and sat a bit taller. This started a discussion about the differences between the real Children of the Moon and shape-shifters, and how greatly we benefited from the pack's regimented control.
"So there are real werewolves?" Bella asked me. "With the full moon and silver bullets and all that?"
"Real? Does that make me imaginary?" Jacob teased.
"You know what I mean," she waved him off. I couldn't get over just how wonderful it felt to be there at that moment in time. In my family's home once again, listening to lighthearted banter that I thought would be lost forever.
"Full moon, yes. Silver bullets, no—that was just another one of those myths to make humans feel like they had a sporting chance. There aren't very many of them left. Caius has had them hunted into near extinction."
"And you never mentioned this because...?"
"It never came up," I said simply. She rolled her eyes in frustration at me, and Alice leaned forward to wink at her and giggle. Suddenly Bella was glaring back at her, which caused Alice to stiffen against me.
… oh boy, here we go … "Just get it off your chest, Bella," she sighed, and I felt her brace herself further against the coming attack.
"How could you do that to me, Alice?" she tried to shout, but I could tell that her heart wasn't in it. She was angry, but her anger was outweighed by her relief.
"It was necessary." … don't let her hit me, Edward … she's really pissed off … I can't tell what she's going to do with Jacob here … I patted her shoulder quickly for comfort, letting her know that it would be alright.
"Necessary!" That put her heart in it. "You had me totally convinced that we were all going to die! I've been a wreck for weeks!" I knew exactly how she felt, but I wasn't about to point out the fact that she had done the same thing to me with her odd behavior. They argued it out while leaning over me, forgetting I was even there.
Alice explained that the deception was necessary for many reasons, Bella's poor ability to lie being at the top of the list. "Aro had to believe that you had nothing left up your sleeves or he never would have committed to an out the way he did. And if you think I didn't feel like a schmuck—"
"Okay, okay! Sorry! I know it was rough for you, too. It's just that... well, I missed you like crazy, Alice. Don't do that to me again!"
"I missed you, too, Bella," Alice laughed. "So forgive me, and try to be satisfied with being the superhero of the day." Bella ducked her head down into Nessie's hair, clearly embarrassed at the praise. I hugged them both closer to me, thrilled that they had sorted it out so quickly.
I couldn't stop myself from going on, dissecting every single event that had happened on the field. It all came down to Bella. She was the sole reason we were still alive. Her shield had sent them running away with their tails between their legs. I also couldn't help feeling a little bit in awe of her then, but as I looked around the room I saw that I wasn't the only one. Everyone had stars in their eyes for my Bella.
This little wisp of a girl who had haunted me one day in biology class barely two years ago had somehow become the savior of my entire family... and of my soul. I no longer believed that I was damned, for even if we had lost the battle and been executed, I had no doubt that we would have left this world together. There was no realm of existence that could keep us apart now, so how could I be damned? As long as we were together, it would be paradise.
… look at how he watches her … such love in his eyes … my father knew nothing of love …
I slowly took in the face of Nahuel, who couldn't take his eyes off of us. His gaze flickered over each of us briefly, but repeatedly came back to settle on Bella.
… she lives … she survived … this man loved her enough to save her … my mother could have lived past my birth … if only he'd cared … my birth didn't have to bring her death … we could have been a family like this …
My heart went out to him. I couldn't imagine living your entire life hating yourself for your very birth. Sure, I had dealt with my own share of self-loathing through the years, but it had mostly been driven by loneliness and fear. I'd been facing a cold, dark eternity with no reason for living by my side. That had changed. I now had a wife and a daughter, and they were the most precious reasons I could have ever imagined.
Looking back at Bella, I was struck with a powerful urge to hold her again. I wanted to be alone with her, to soak in the relief that this long day had finally provided. I wondered in the back of my mind if I would ever get used to the painful need that she caused in me; if I would ever grow accustomed to the physical ache that I felt whenever we'd been apart for too long. It seemed as if every new day I needed her more desperately, body and soul.
As if on cue, Bella turned to me. "Should we take Nessie..."
"That's probably a good idea," I interrupted, already standing to leave.
Jacob said his goodbyes first, kissing both Nessie and Bella on the top of their heads and punching me in the arm. "See you guys tomorrow. I guess things are going to be kind of boring now, aren't they?"
"I fervently hope so," I replied. I couldn't wish for anything better.
We made the rounds of hugs and kisses, wishing everyone a good night as we made our way out the door. Hell, I even hugged Rose. As soon as we had crossed the river into the forest, our pace slowed and we linked hands again, swinging them between us. As long as we were together, we were done being in a hurry.
On our way back to the cottage, Bella brought up Nahuel and how his staring had made her uncomfortable. She had thought he was only staring at Nessie, worried that he might cause a problem down the road because she was the only other female in the world like him that he wasn't related to. While I couldn't say that the thought hadn't entered his mind, I was happy to tell her that his main focus had been on her, and what a loving mother she was. We talked about everything that I had heard from him, and I could see Bella soften towards him as soon as I explained that he saw us as what his family should have been.
"Poor Nahuel," she whispered.
"Don't be sad for him. He's happy now. Today, he's finally begun to forgive himself." He would no longer shoulder the blame for his mother's death. I hoped that his realization would allow him to finally start living rather than hiding out in the jungle, his aunt his only companion.
When we reached the cottage, we carried Nessie directly to her bed. As soon as she was tucked in to the gigantic pink nightmare, we turned towards our own room. I watched as Bella ripped the gaudy diamond from around her neck, tossing it over her shoulder as we walked out the door. She didn't even care where it landed, leaving it for Nessie to find and play with at a later date.
When we were standing in our room at last, I wasted no time turning to her. "A night for celebrations," I whispered, lifting her lips to mine.
"Wait," she stopped me, pulling away.
Wait? Who are you and what have you done with Bella?
She smiled at the confused look on my face. "I want to try something."
Reaching forward, she lifted both hands until they were holding each side of my face. I watched as she closed her eyes tightly, apparently deep in concentration. I almost asked her what she was doing when I heard it.
… c'mon, c'mon … why can't I get this to work? …
"Bella!" I gasped.
Knowing that whatever she was doing had worked, Bella redoubled her efforts. Suddenly my mind was filled with memories that were very familiar, but not my own.
I saw hazy images from her human life: my face from across the cafeteria on her first day of school. Why did it look so angelic? Is that really how she saw me? … the two of us laying together in the meadow as I held her. I could actually feel how her skin tingled underneath when I touched it … the sound of my voice as I pulled her back from the fiery pain of James's bite. Why does it sound like I'm singing? I don't sound like that, do I? …my cold hands on her body as I touched her intimately for the first time … my face glowing with pride as I waited for her at the altar … the island … the feathers … the way my hard body felt as it penetrated hers, the burning sting followed by bliss. Oh God! … my cold hands again, only now they were touching our baby as she moved inside her belly …
And then the memories sharpened considerably: my face again when she opened her eyes after the transformation. Christ, it was even MORE angelic now! … the first kiss we shared only moments after, forgetting ourselves in front of everyone. She thinks I taste like Heaven? … later that night at the cottage, my hands roaming everywhere as we fell to the floor in a frenzy. Oh, yesss … the waves of arousal that flooded her senses that night. Oh God, I need her! …
I couldn't control myself. I pulled her to me, kissing her almost fiercely with all of the emotion that was overflowing inside me.
Bella gasped at the contact and the visions went dark again. No!
"Oops, I lost it!" she sighed.
"I heard you!" I whispered. "How? How did you do that?"
"Zafrina's idea. We practiced with it a few times."
I felt so dazed that I shook my head. I felt high on her all over again. I no longer had her scent that used to drive me mad, but now it appeared that I had found a new drug. Finally hearing Bella only made me want to hear her more.
"Now you know," she said softly. "No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you."
"You're almost right," I smiled broadly, still feeling high from her gift to me. "I know of just one exception."
"Liar," she teased.
I kissed her again, but now it felt as if something was missing. "Can you do it again?" I felt like a greedy child asking for seconds of dessert.
"It's very difficult," she winced. I didn't care. I wanted... needed more. I stared at her eagerly, waiting impatiently for my fix. "I can't keep it up if I'm even the slightest bit distracted," she warned.
"I'll be good," I promised. At least, I'll try.
Her hands returned to my face, and after only a second the memories began again, right where she had left off: ripped clothing … torrid kisses … broken furniture … my face staring down at her with a mixture of love and need as I thrust into her welcoming body. Yes … her gaze looking up at me as she worshiped me with her mouth. God, yes! … the feeling of my teeth piercing her flesh as I bit down on her throat. Fuck! …
I was kissing her again before I knew it, more roughly than the last time. Her mind went blank once more and my body screamed in protest. I was already as hard as a diamond, and losing the intimate contact with her mind caused the same physical pain as if she had pulled away mid-coitus.
"Damn it!" I growled against her skin as I kissed my way down her jaw. It seemed that the only thing more frustrating than not hearing Bella's thoughts was to have them briefly only to lose them.
"We have plenty of time to work on it," she hummed playfully.
"Forever and forever and forever," I mumbled into her neck.
"That sounds exactly right to me."
I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to our bed, laying her down in the middle of the mattress. It was time. I had missed my love terribly over the last two days, and my body was screaming at me to take her.
I stretched out along her length, slipping my leg between hers as my hands roamed eagerly up and down her curves. My lips never broke contact with her skin, even when I had to speak. "Are you particularly fond of these clothes?" I spoke through wet kisses and licks against her collarbone.
"I despise them," she breathed, already pulling my shirt out of my jeans and up over my head.
"Oh, goody," I said, smiling through my kisses. I grabbed hold of the blouse she wore with both hands, tearing the fabric loudly. Her delicate bra was next; I tore it in half, baring her luscious breasts to my hungry gaze. "Perfect," I whispered, before sliding my mouth down to capture a rosy peak between my lips.
I swirled my tongue around the turgid flesh, sucking harder by the second, refusing to release my grip until I felt Bella writhing underneath me. Only then did I start over again on its twin, paying it even closer attention than the last one. When Bella began grinding her hips up to meet mine, I knew that it was time to move lower.
I ripped her jeans away in one swift motion, her panties following closely behind. I sat back on my knees then, staring down at her as she spread her legs wider for my viewing pleasure. And what a pleasure it was. "You are so fucking gorgeous," I growled, grabbing her inner thighs with both hands and yanking them even further apart, stretching her as wide as she could go.
I watched intently as her glistening folds opened for me, looking like the petals of a hothouse flower. I felt the venom beginning to pool in my mouth as I realized that I'd never been so ravenous for her in my entire life. Swallowing thickly until the sting of venom had cleared my throat, I licked my lips suggestively before diving in.
I lapped at her viciously, sucking in her juices before flicking my tongue repeatedly over her tightened bundle of nerves. She mewled and whimpered as I devoured her, shoving her hands into my hair and gripping it tightly before bucking her hips into my face.
Fuck! How can something that tastes so sinful make me feel so heavenly?
I purred deeply in my chest, sending vibrations through her entire body, starting at her clit. She began thrashing and shaking under me, shoving her wet sex harder against my tongue while at the same time yanking my head closer by my hair. Pushing, pulling, thrusting, grinding... my Bella was close and feeling anything but gentle about it. Good. Gentle wasn't on the menu right now. There would be time for gentle later.
Knowing that it would send her over the edge, I moved my hand up from holding her thigh open, not stopping until I had reached her dripping entrance. Remembering something in the back of my mind that my brothers had told me about months ago, I slipped my first two fingers just inside of her while simultaneously probing at her rear opening with my little finger. Directing my attention back to her clit, I licked and sucked at her furiously while sliding my digits all the way inside her in one quick movement.
… HOLY FUCK! …
I didn't notice the source of Bella's voice at first. I was too caught up in my actions for a moment to realize that she had only been moaning and whimpering. She hadn't spoken out loud.
I looked up the length of her body, enjoying the sights along the way, until my gaze landed on Bella's face. Her eyes were squeezed tight in concentration, and there was a look of blissful agony on her face. I heard her again then, and I realized that if I paid close enough attention, she was coming through in small bursts of thought.
… so good! … don't stop … wonder if this is working … GOD! … can't concentrate … tongue like a fucking hurricane …
I growled violently, shoving my fingers in faster as I flattened my tongue against her and licked in broad strokes, desperate to make her explode before I beat her to the finish line. She was driving me insane with her thoughts, and knowing that she wasn't even sure if I could hear her made it that much hotter to me.
… so close … so close … so fucking close! …
I curled my two fingertips up and applied pressure, knowing I had hit the spot when she threw her head back and cried out. Her inner muscles clamped down on my hand, trapping it in place as she convulsed around me.
… YES! … Edward! … so fucking good! … I want you … need you … need your thick cock inside me right fucking NOW! …
Her moans were erotic, as always, but her thoughts had set me on fire. Snarling loudly, I raised back up to my knees and ripped my jeans open at the fly, impatient to wait for the zipper. Grasping my now painful erection as it sprang free, I brought it to her drenched pussy, rubbing it up against her slick entrance.
"You want my thick cock, Bella?" I gritted through my teeth, staring deep into her eyes as I continued swirling the broad tip around her swollen folds. I could see the exact moment when she understood that I had heard her. And that I loved it.
… yes …
"This cock right here?" I teased, barely pushing myself inside her. I had no idea how I was still holding it together; all I wanted to do was shove myself inside her and fill her with my flesh.
… YES! …
"I don't know, Bella. I'm not sure if I heard you right." She started to open her mouth and speak, but I put my finger to her lips. "No. The only thing I want coming out of here is screams. Now... tell me." Her face scrunched up in determination for a moment, giving way to a look of challenge.
… Fuck … Me … NOW! …
"With pleasure," I moaned, pushing forward until I was seated deep inside her body. Wrapping her legs around my waist, I pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in to the hilt.
Bella gasped at the penetration, and suddenly her mind opened up to me again. She was focusing so intently on the contact between us that I could practically feel everything that she did. Every movement our bodies made together was amplified in my mind two-fold.
It was almost too much for me to bear. I had never experienced anything so profound in my entire existence. As we moved together that night for what felt like hours, the emotions and thoughts she shared with me ranged from the lustful to the celestial. She was my vampire sex demon. She was my heavenly goddess. She was both in one, and I never wanted to stop.
… perfect … so beautiful …
"Yes... it is," I gasped, pulling her with me as I rolled over on my back, planting her on my lap.
… no … you … you are perfect … you are beautiful …
She looked down at me with love and adoration in her eyes.
"Bella," I whispered, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "I am nothing without you. Less than nothing."
She leaned forward to kiss me again, sucking my bottom lip between her teeth and nipping lightly. When I growled in response, her mood shifted again. Rising herself up and dropping back down on my shaft roughly, she began fucking me again in earnest. I laid back and enjoyed the view, sliding my hands up to cup her firm breasts as they bounced up and down with her movements.
I could feel her delicious wet heat beginning to clamp down on me, gripping me tightly. I sat up straight, gripping her around her shoulders and holding her to me tightly. I felt her own nails digging into my back, and it was painfully delicious. Her nectar was flowing freely, coating me as I plunged even deeper inside her. Her snarls and moans were growing louder, and I buried my face in her neck to lick at her throat.
… yes! … please! …
Her memories flashed again on all the times I had bitten her in the past. I kept seeing my teeth, sinking deep into her skin. Every single time was played back for me, combined with the growing arousal and need that the biting made her feel. I could see and feel multiple puncture wounds, followed immediately by the sense of pure ecstasy. Fuck!
… now … please, Edward! … bite … bite … BITE! …
How frequently I had heard those words screamed in my head in the past. But never had I once imagined that the voice behind it would be Bella's instead of my own.
I could feel myself teetering on the brink of insanity, wondering how I would ever find my way back again. My entire body seized up as I opened my mouth on her, and just as when I had entered her earlier, I could feel both sides of it when I broke the porcelain membrane of her flesh.
… yes! … yes yes yes yes YES! …
We both erupted in a violent wave of growls and snarls. Thick streams of my fluid pumped into her, and Bella was milking me dry, her body squeezing me so tightly that it was almost painful. The sensory overload I was receiving made bright white lights explode in front of my eyes until I was falling... falling... falling.
The next thing I knew, Bella was hovering over me with a concerned look on her face.
"What happened?" I croaked.
"I was just going to ask you that. It looked like you... well... passed out. Only for a few seconds, but still, it was scary."
I couldn't hold back the chuckle that surfaced at her words.
"Edward! What's so funny? It was scary!"
"I know love, believe me, I know. I'm sorry to laugh." I pulled her head down to my lips for a tender kiss. "It's just that I remember how many times I watched you do the very same thing to me when you were human. I used to call them your climactic comas. How I envied you that brief moment of escape. It was like you transcended to a higher plane of existence or something."
"And did you do that now?" she asked quietly, kissing my face in many places.
"No. I think I just blacked out," I smiled. "Being with you, Bella... that is the highest plane of existence there could ever be for me."
She laid down beside me, resting her head against my chest, running her fingernails lightly across my skin.
… I love you …
Even now, after everything she had just shared with me, hearing her say those words to me like that shook me to my core. I stroked my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead, giving myself time to collect my thoughts.
"And I, you, my love," I whispered against her skin.
… forever …
"Yes. Forever sounds just long enough."
I can't believe I've actually reached this ending. This has taken an entire year of my life, and I can't believe that I'm actually going to be able to click that 'complete' button. I want to take this chance to thank every single person who has ever read, reviewed, and rec'd this story. And please, if you have made it through this entire thing and not left any reviews at all, I beg you to leave just one final review here and let me know what you thought of it all.
Eternal thanks to psymom. I hope this story ended up being worth the love she gave it a year ago when I was a lonely little first time fic writer.
Just so you all know, NO, there are no plans for this to have a sequel. My goal was only to go through the book and give it an EPOV spin. I hope it was worth your time. I can't promise that there won't be an outtake sometime in the future, that all depends on if anyone bids on me for the next fandom gives back auction. I usually take bids on a reader's choice, so if more B&L is what you want, keep an eye out in June for that auction.
Also, if anyone is interested in following me as a writer, I do have plans to start posting another story soon. Be sure to add me to your author alerts or favorite author, whatever works, so that you will be notified when it posts. It's going to be my first try at an AU/AH story, and it will be much different. (but still tons of lemons!)
Don't forget to follow me on twitter for new story information: awesomesauce416
Thank you so much for joining me on my dark, twisted little journey inside Edward's head. I hope that you had half as much fun as I did!