Finally, I am updating again! Thanks to WereCatsRule, Smokeberry, Hawkwing360, She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name, crazy4asajj, and XxRandom NemesisxX for reviewing! [gives cookies]
Disclaimer: I do not own Coca-Cola, Monster, Star Wars, Warriors, Apples to Apples, healthcare bills, The Wizard of Oz, Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name, the Muffin Man, Wii, Wii Fit and the balance board, Wii Sports Resort, Jolly Ranchers, or Maroon 5's This Love. (aka best song ever) But I will not inflict my musical taste on you. On with the story!
It was barely sunrise. The many cats watching kept nipping themselves to keep them from falling asleep. Coca-Cola and Monster cans were strewn across the ground. However, the four cats sitting at the table in the center of camp were not as fazed or tired. Well, two of them weren't, at least. Whitewing looked like she was trying hard not to fall asleep; she was just struggling to stay awake for the sake of the tournament. Birchfall had fallen asleep an hour before; his face was buried in a bowl of popcorn, and a paw was stuck in some sticky, spilled Monster.
It was to be the winning question, and the tournament was down to Hollyleaf and Jayfeather. They had the same amount of cards, seven, only one short of winning. It was Whitewing's turn to judge. She drew and read her green apple card.
Hollyleaf scanned her cards. Goody-Goody… If only the Warrior Code was a card! Or maybe if she had her own card! That would be her sure-fire way to win! But then, she found one that was close enough…
Jayfeather used his creepy yet awesome powers to see the images of the words on the cards in his head. Goody-Goody... Hmm, he had "The Beach," "A School Bus," "A Tree House," "Apple pie," "the Australian Outback," "Zucchini," and "Richard Nixon." In other words, all his cards made no sense. He knew Whitewing would never pick Zucchini, a School Bus, a Tree House, and the Australian Outback. The Beach and Apple Pie might work. Fox dung! Now Jayfeather wanted apple pie! Well… if he won, he would have some as a victory treat… Looking back to his cards, he took one of them with his teeth and set it down. Being blind, he had no idea what it was. He didn't want to know that card that would make him lose.
Hollyleaf slapped down a card as well, grinning. Whitewing pushed one of Birchfall's cards into the pile, and then she turned the three cards in the pile over.
"Assembly Lines, My Personality, and Richard Nixon," she read. Her voice sounded bored. She was bored.
Jayfeather lapped up the last sip from his bottle of Monster. He tried to stare Whitewing down.
"Jayfeather? Jayfeather? Why are you staring angrily at that tree over there?"
Jayfeather turned his head to the sound of Whitewing's voice.
"Sorry," he grumbled.
Whitewing sighed, shook her head, and looked back down at the Red Apple cards.
"The Assembly Lines card is out."
"Richard Nixon should be thrown out. That just does not make sense at all. I have no idea who he is," Hollyleaf pressed, trying desperately to win.
"He was an American president. Judging by what the card says, he doesn't sound very Goody-Goody to me," Whitewing read. Then she made her decision.
"My Personality fits very well."
Hollyleaf straightened proudly.
"However, I like the sense of irony for Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon wins."
"YES!" yowled Jayfeather jubilantly. He added the Green Apple card to his pile.
"And the winner is… Jayfeather!" Mace Brambleclaw announced.
Then time seemed to slow down. Hollyleaf put her head down on the table in despair as Jayfeather leaped into the air while "We Are the Champions" played in the background.
Meanwhile, back in RiverClan territory, the Senate was in intense debate.
"This healthcare bill does away with free will!" Mistyfoot protested. "If our cats don't want health insurance, they shouldn't have to have it!"
"But imagine a forest where all cats will be able to have health insurance! Cats won't have to worry about paying the medicine cats the entire fees because the insurance will pay for most of it!" Reedwhisker disagreed.
"What if they can't afford it?" challenged Mistyfoot.
"Then I motion that we add an item to this bill: cats may receive financial assistance if they cannot pay insurance fees."
"How are we going to get the money for that? Ever since we passed Senate Bill 004B, where medicine cats must be paid for their services, we've been put into an economic crisis!"
"I object!" Mothwing… er, objected. "The economic crisis started after we passed Senate Bill 003G, where we agreed to import oil from rouges!"
"Yes!" Reedwhisker agreed. "After a while, all those rouges started price gouging and jacking up their prices!"
"Why do I get the feeling that by passing all these bills, we've made things worse?"
Berrynose, who was sitting in on the session, commented, "I'm hungry!"
Chancellor Blackstar glared at him, but then he softened his gaze.
"Nightcloud!" he called sharply. "Get Master Kenobi some fish!"
"Sir yes sir!" Nightcloud replied, saluting and running off to the river.
Chancellor Blackstar rolled his eyes once the she-cat was gone, and then he let the debates continue. He loved politics.
Heathertail could smell the rabbit coming. Its scent, fresh and warm, flooded into her nostrils. Her mouth watered. She licked her lips as her paws flexed, ready to chase after it. She bolted, and the creature immediately perked up its long ears in alarm. It began to hop off quickly, but Heathertail was too quick and too close. She pounced and finished the animal off. Her tail fluffed out and up in pride, she picked it up by the limp scruff of its neck and brought it back to the small encampment.
"I brought dinner!" she called to Lionblaze, who was sitting in a corner, mulling over how much of an idiot he was for making his affections for the she-cat known. However, as any near-teenaged male, he was jolted out of his trance by the word, "dinner."
"You're back soon!"
"It wasn't too hard of a kill. I think this guy was starting to get a little old."
"You're just being modest."
Lionblaze's playful banter was starting to annoy Heathertail.
"You going to eat your share or what?" she inquired sharply, bending down to take a bite. But before she could reach the prey, Lionblaze dragged it swiftly out of her way. A playful light flickered in his eyes.
"Of course! Ha… Berrynose would kill me if he saw me doing this!"
"And he'll do just that when I tell him that you stole it! Give it back!"
Lionblaze set the rabbit down again.
"I was just teasing you."
Heathertail rolled her eyes.
"You know, I could get you arrested for that."
Lionblaze's neck snapped up in panic.
Heathertail raised her head again, this time more slyly.
Mace Brambleclaw headed over to the warriors den, looking for his former apprentice. Where was Berrynose? As he had thought, the demented, cream-colored warrior was passed out sleeping in his nest. Apparently, the excitement and late-night drama of the Apples to Apples tournament had proved to be too much for Berrynose. Green splotches, indubitably from spilled lime-flavored Monster, covered the cat. Brambleclaw prodded Kenobi with his paw.
"Berrynose! Wake up already!"
Berrynose blinked sleepily.
"No, Mom, I don't know where my blankie is," he muttered.
The tabby tom's tail twitched with confusion and a tad of annoyance.
"Berrynose, I have an assignment for you."
The cream cat blinked again.
"Does it involve flying monkeys?"
"I accept. What is it?"
"I need you to… The Council needs you to find out where Blackclaw is."
"M-kay. Can I finish my nap first?"
Brambleclaw sighed, trying to make a decision.
"Fine…" he mumbled, turning around and walking away.
Lionblaze stared at Heathertail. Heathertail stared back.
"Why are we staring at each other?" Heathertail asked, flicking her ears.
Eventually, his love for Heathertail took over once again.
"Heathertail, I love you."
"That was random."
"No, really! I do! I love you!"
Not this again… Heathertail thought.
"Gee… Lionblaze… Listen… I really like you, but…"
"Oh, great," sighed Lionblaze. "Here comes The Talk."
"I really like you, but we could NEVER be together. First of all, I'm WindClan, you're ThunderClan. It's against the Warrior Code."
"Aw, now you're sounding like my sister!"
Heathertail ignored the poor, golden tom in front of her.
"And second of all, you're a Jedi. Loving me is forbidden for you!"
"Oh, come on! It's not like I'm going to foresee that you die giving birth to my kits, so I join the Sith to stop it from happening and bring about the demise of the entire Jedi Order!"
"And I'm a Senator now! That's most important to me now. I can't be distracted by you."
Lionblaze was hurt. Badly.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame/You give love a bad name, he sang mentally.
"Did you ever love me?"
"Just tell me the truth!"
"I…" If cats could cry, tears would have been fogging up the she-cat's heather-blue eyes. "I don't know."
"I understand. You make some good points. I'm going to… go to sleep now…"
He turned away and moved his nest farther away from Heathertail. Once he was out of earshot, Heathertail murmured into the wind, "I do know. And I always have loved you…"
Berrynose Kenobi finally woke up from his nap. It had taken him a while to get back to sleep. He had such a funny dream… Lionblaze was confessing to Heathertail his undying love for her. But that would never happen. No way. Then he remembered: he had a quest! He had to find Blackclaw!
The cat stretched; it wasn't sunset yet. Berrynose figured it would be the best time to go if he had to do it soon. Surprisingly, a very wise choice, Berrynose.
"I'm leaving!" he announced.
From the ThunderClan cats came choruses of "good luck!" From ShadowClan came mumbles of, "I don't care."
Berrynose walked proudly out of the camp. At the top of the ravine, he paused.
"Wait… how exactly am I going to do this?"
Interestingly, he didn't need to think long to get the answer. He'd seen enough mystery movies… Well, does Scooby Doo count?
"I need to retrace his steps!" he declared. "To RiverClan!"
Nothing eventful happened on his hike to RiverClan. He found Blackclaw's stale scent almost immediately. He followed it, and what he saw at the end of the trail made him immediately know that he would have his work cut out for him.
"Millie… Millie… Come here… I have presents…" the voice in the dream called. Millie twitched and mumbled something about Christmas.
"Millie… I have… Muffins," the voice called again.
Mille woke up, springing to her feet in an instant.
"Muffins…" she groaned. In her dream, she knew where the muffins were. To the lake!
Millie traveled to the lake, smelling Berrynose's scent from a few hours ago along the way. And what she saw at the lake was a beautiful sight.
The Muffin Man had returned to her.
Cinderheart finally got her turn on the Wii. Her father had allowed her thirty minutes! She tore her Wii Fit game from its packaging. Beautiful.
"Yes…" she hissed happily.
She popped the disc into the console. As it loaded, she put together the balance board. She put in the batteries and attached the extra feet. Then it was time to register. She did so. Like she had for Wii Sports, Bluestar had also reconfigured Wii Fit to suit cats. So the height and weight measures were a little different. And then she began to play.
It was only so long before her time was up.
"Time to get off, Cinderheart," Brackenfur commanded.
Cinderheart paused the game she was playing.
"Two more minutes! I need to finish this step-dancing!"
"Aw, come on, Dad!"
"But I've only been playing for five minutes!"
"Well you had thirty to play."
"The others included set-up! That doesn't count!"
"Yes it does."
"Cinderheart! Listen to your father!" Sorreltail called, returning from the StarClan Shop once again. "Bracky, I brought you another game! Wii Sports Resort!"
"Thank you!" Brackenfur said softly. Then, hardening his gaze, he returned to his daughter.
"You never give me what I want!" Cinderheart cried, stomping away to her nest once again.
Sorreltail brought Honeyfern some more Jolly Ranchers, this time a huge bagful. She also bought Poppyfrost another Darth Vader bobblehead. Poppyfrost ran away from it, screaming. As usual. For Cinderheart, Sorreltail bought toothpaste. And not even the minty kind.
Lionblaze sang in his sleep. He didn't know it, but everyone else around him did. And the fact that he wasn't the best singer in the forest didn't help either.
"This love has taken its toll on me/she said goodbye too many times before/And her heart is breaking in front of me/And I have no choice/Cause I won't say goodbye anymore/Woah-oh.."
Ten feet away, Heathertail clutched her paws to her ears, trying to block out the sound. How could Lionblaze butcher such an amazing song?
Although the course of the Star Wars movies were progressing nicely, there was something missing. Something didn't seem right. It seemed that a very important part of the movie didn't exist within the Clans. And so it became Bluestar's self-proclaimed duty to make it right.
Ah, more fluff. Hence the title. I think I will make 2 CONTESTS! 1) Whoever can guess where "Bazinga" comes from gets... something. I'll think of it later. And 2) Whoever can guess where the second Lion/Heather scene is based off of (Hint: Did you ever love me, just tell me the truth, I don't know) gets... something else. I'll think of that later, too. It must be better than extra virtual cookies! Any ideas?
You can tell that the Senate part was written a while ago, can't you?
I don't believe I have anything else to say, so... REVIEW! (But I don't have to stress over it; you guys are awesome about reviewing!)