Hello, all! I'm (finally) back! So, before I go any farther, I must take it upon myself to apologize for this long, seven-month wait. I've had band camp and marching band, so that kept me busy in the fall. However, I just got lazy and didn't have much inspiration for this story. And for that I apologize. I hope you all didn't completely forget about Lake Wars, and you have continued reading and reviewing it. On that note, I would like to thank Sheila V, mylia11, crazy4asajj, ResistanceIsNotFutile, Get Up On The Hydra's Back, and Hawkwing360 for your reviews of the last chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, Star Wars, Nintendo Wii, Apples to Apples, the Muffin Man, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Go Fish, Galaga, or Pac-Man.
Bluestar had a bone to pick with Yellowfang.
"Yellowfang! Why don't I have any coffee in the mini-fridge?"
Well, two bones to pick. Yellowfang sighed.
"I thought we all decided that you could no longer have coffee after what happened last time."
"BLUESTAR, GET TO YOUR REAL POINT!" Tallstar boomed from by the babbling stream in the sky.
Bluestar blinked again.
"Well, then! So also, I had slaved for days, and days, and days, and days, and days, and days, and (four hours later) days, and days, and days, and days, and d—well, a really long time! On my Opposable Thumb Potion, and for what? The Clans aren't using it!"
"Brackenfur uses it all the time when he plays Wii, as does Cinderheart when she finds time to play. And Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, Whitewing, and Birchfall needed it during the Apples to Apples competition. The Clans use your potion," Yellowfang countered.
"Yes, six cats, and none else!"
"What am I supposed to do about it?"
"You're the Star Wars coordinator! Jedi have lightsabers! And do the Jedi have any? NO!"
"I'd give them to them, but they don't have opposable thumbs."
Bluestar blinked intentionally for the third time in five minutes. An awkward silence hung in the air.
"Wait…" Yellowfang approached an epiphany. "I got it! They can use your potion! Bluestar, I'm a genius. Come on, say it."
"You're a genius."
Yellowfang bounded off to hatch her… epiphany.
Mace Brambleclaw stood on the Highledge, overlooking the many cats in front of him.
"Jedi!" he announced loudly. "Tomorrow it will be time to go to the next Gathering! So, Yoda has made his choice on who will go! He wants all able Padawans and Knights to attend. If you are not among those, then too bad."
A few offended meows rose over the crowd, but there were so few not going that the rest didn't care.
"By the way, Brackenfur," Brambleclaw added, "if you don't go because you're too busy playing Wii, Yoda is going to take it away. You too, Cinderheart."
"NOOOOOOO!" wailed the father and daughter who were constantly arguing over who got to play their beloved game console.
(The Middle of Nowhere)
"Should we go to the Gathering tomorrow?" Lionblaze asked Heathertail as they were watching grass die in the field. That's how bored they were.
"I dunno. It would give us something to do."
"Sure, why not? LET'S GO TO THE GATHERING!" Lionblaze roared, tilting his head back to the clouds.
Heathertail rolled her eyes.
What an idiot.
A slim, snowy-furred, female fennec strode up to Berrynose.
"Master Jedi!" she rasped. How Berrynose could understand her, seeing how she was a fox and he was a cat, remains a mystery even to the most ancient of StarClan cats…
"Um… hi?" Berrynose managed to choke out. His confusion was most overwhelming.
"You're finally here!" said the fennec. "Come on; before the prime minister gets impatient!"
Berrynose, not thinking, followed her. He didn't want to be rude.
Prime minister? He thought to himself confusedly. He furrowed his brow.
The fennec led Berrynose to another one of her kind. Their fur color was the same, but the second fennec was of a larger build, and a male.
"May I present our prime minister, Lama Su?" the female began.
Berrynose stifled back a laugh, wondering as to why a male fennec had the name llama sue. To be polite, he bowed his head curtly.
"Salutations, Llama Sue. I am Master Berrynose Kenobi of ThunderClan."
Lama Su returned the nod.
"Nice to meet you, Master Kenobi. I hoped you are pleased with your army."
Wham. It felt like a huge dog was ramming into Berrynose's face.
Lama Su nodded.
"Yes. The army for the Forest Republic. We've got 200,000 units ready with a million more well on the way."
"Um, well, that's good news?"
Lama Su nodded again.
"Yes. Considering the normal time frame for building, that's very good news. Would you like to tour the premises and inspect our progress?"
"Of course," Berrynose accepted.
Lama Su and the first fennec got on their paws and led Berrynose behind a shrub. Behind the shrub was a massive clearing, where an assembly line had been set up.
"Well, this isn't weird at all," Berrynose muttered. Then he froze.
The assembly line was building robotic ninja squirrels.
For Lionblaze, the night would have been rather peaceful… except for the constant nightmares about Squirrelflight. Creepy as they were, they worried him. The dreams, though fuzzy and seeming like they were hallucinations induced by psychedelics, were of Lionblaze's mother crying out in pain. Every time one occurred, Lionblaze would wake up frightened, in a cold sweat… at least if cats could sweat. As for Heathertail, the night also would have been rather peaceful… except for Lionblaze's constant yowling in his dreams. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She stalked up to him, fur fluffed out, and prodded him aggressively with her paws.
"Lionblaze! This is the sixteenth time tonight that you've woke me up due to your sleep-wailing!"
Lionblaze groaned unintelligibly as he started to wake up. As Heathertail prodded him again, he leapt to his paws.
"Wha-? WHO DIED? THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR, LIONBLAZE IS HERE!"
His breathing turned ragged and he started panting. Heathertail was not amused.
"Did you hear anything I said?" she demanded irritably.
"No. No I did not."
Heathertail angrily hissed, and then she shook her head.
"Never mind. It's time to get up anyway," she muttered.
"Heathertail, we need to save Squirrelflight."
The brown tabby she-cat stared at her guardian incredulously as if he had found Onestar's stash of special mushrooms and eaten the whole thing.
"Where did you get that crapsack idea?"
Lionblaze twitched his tail nervously as he began to settle down.
"Well… the thing is… I've been having nightmares all night about her. She's my mom, you know, and I have been typified as a character who loves his mother a little too much, so I have been creepily having dreams about her well-being… or lack thereof."
For once, Heathertail actually could understand his pain; she couldn't empathize, but she still could imagine what it would be like.
"Oh… I understand. Let's go, then. If she really does need help, then who am I not to let you give it to her?"
Lionblaze's tail shot up straight in the air ecstatically.
"Really? That's fantastic! Let's go!"
Lionblaze followed his gut as he and Heathertail went to find Squirrelflight. Besides his random explanations for where he was turning next, the trip was completely silent. Heathertail wanted to give him some space, and Lionblaze was too busy concentrating. All his concentration, though, paid off, and Lionblaze led them to the center of the ThunderClan camp, where Squirrelflight lay dozing on a rock.
"MOMMY!" squealed Lionblaze, running over to the she-cat.
Squirrelflight woke up and flattened her ears, irritated.
"What? Lionblaze? I was in the middle of my nap! And aren't you supposed to be in hiding with Heathertail?"
"Well, yeah! But we came to rescue you!"
"Rescue me? I'm just fine!"
The serious look on Lionblaze's face slid off immediately.
"Nothing's wrong. I'm not sick, and I'm not injured; I'm just tired."
"But I had a dream that you were in trouble!"
"The key word in that sentence was dream."
"But I've had dreams that became true before! Why not this one?"
"I dunno, plot device?"
Lionblaze looked stunned.
"A plot device? For what?"
"For this," said a deep voice coming from the top of the cliff.
It was Darth Kitty, coming to annoy everybody all over again.
Millie was beyond jubilant to see the Muffin Man by the side of the lake, waiting for her, and welcoming her as if she were a long-lost old friend.
"I see that you are happy to see me, Millie," said the Muffin Man.
"Yes! Yes! Yes! I am! I love you! Can I have a muffin? Please? Please? PLEASE?"
The Muffin Man laughed a little bit.
"Patience, my four-legged friend, patience. I shall give you your muffins for you and your friends in time, but-"
"But what?" Millie asked, her lower lip quivering disappointedly.
"But first, you must answer me these questions three."
"What… is your name?"
"What… is your quest?"
"To receive muffins from the Muffin Man!"
"What… is your favorite color?"
Millie thought about it. She never actually cared about picking a favorite color. Being a cat, she wasn't color blind, but she couldn't see as many colors as maybe a Twoleg could. She randomly picked the first one that caught her eye. It wasn't that bad a color; in fact, it was rather pretty.
"Okay. Go on. Here are your muffins. Off you go," said the muffin man proudly, giving Millie a large bag full of a variety of muffins.
"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Millie exclaimed, her claws kneading the ground excitedly.
The Muffin Man gave her a mysterious smile and disappeared in a puff of green smoke. Not upset this time about the Muffin Man's leaving, Millie happily brought back her winnings to her Clanmates. And there was much rejoicing.
Back in ShadowClan, the villains were, needless to say, very bored.
"Blackstar, can we please do something?" Toadfoot pleaded.
Ever since the loss of Darth Ratscar, Toadfoot had taken up the role of the annoying stupid one. He had not been pleased with getting it, seeing as he had been forced to take it by Blackstar. Blackstar sniffed.
"I gave you a pack of Go Fish cards."
"But Count Rowanclaw won't play with me! And I also don't have opposable thumbs!"
"Opposable thumbs? Bah, who needs them? And besides, Blackclaw has joined us temporarily, as he is a wanted cat."
"Why can't we just borrow some of ThunderClan's opposable thumb potion?" whined Toadfoot.
Blackstar whirled around, his eyes narrowing and his hackles raising.
"No! NEVER!" he screeched.
"Are you sure, 'cause they're real softies over there. They'd give away anything if we told them we needed it."
"I said NO! We must not let them know of our weakness!"
"Our weakness? The fact that we don't have opposable thumbs? What are they going to do with it? Try to defeat us by thumb-wrestling?"
Blackstar got even more ticked off.
"NEVER QUESTION ME EVER AGAIN!" he roared.
"Gee, okay! Pushy…" Toadfoot muttered. "But seriously, Blackstar," he continued, a little louder, "there's nothing to do here. Can't we, like, go out and play some antique video games at the arcade down the street?"
How Toadfoot knew what a street was, and how he knew what an arcade was, we'll probably never know.
"No," insisted Blackstar.
"Aw, come on! They're offering fifty percent off admission price today! Plus they've got a special! Play five games of Galaga, get a free soda!"
Blackstar began to raise his voice again.
"Actually, I could… I could go for some Galaga. Or Pac-Man," cut in Blackclaw.
Blackstar sighed in defeat. He could say no to his evil minion, but he couldn't say no to his guest, even though said guest was probably indirectly his evil minion. But he was still a guest.
"Fine, let's go to the arcade."
"YAY!" said Blackclaw and Toadfoot, running off excitedly.
Blackstar groaned and shook his head as he followed them. What had he just gotten himself into?
Even for Berrynose, the whole robot ninja squirrel thing was a little far-fetched. He still couldn't believe it. But here he was, talking to a fennec and telling her how awesome the army was.
"Yeah, it's great! They're totally going to help us!"
The first fennec Berrynose had ever met beamed. Her name was Taun We, but Berrynose kept forgetting that. In his mind, he just called her "Weird Fennec Lady."
"I'm so glad you like them!" said Weird Fennec Lady. "They're some of our best work!"
"I can tell."
Berrynose frowned and thrashed his tail. This was a waste of his time! Why was he being so nice? It's not like Weird Fennec Lady was all that pretty, plus she was a fennec, plus Berrynose had Honeyfern waiting for him back home!
"We actually modeled them after a real squirrel!" continued Weird Fennec Lady, gushing obliviously.
Berrynose licked his lips. He liked squirrels. He liked eating squirrels.
"Yes! His name is Chuck! And I bet you'd love to meet him!"
Berrynose's stomach rumbled.
"Sure… I'd love to… meet… Chuck."
More like eat Chuck.
Weird Fennec Lady continued to beam, and she led Berrynose to a hollow at the base of a very large tree. And there, inside the hollow, was Chuck the squirrel.
Well, there you have it. Hehe. Chuck. That's a good name for a squirrel. Chuck. Hopefully you haven't forgotten the drill, so please review!