Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
"Bad boys are hot."
Sakura rolled her eye at her best friend.
"Don't deny it, Sakura, you know it's true. After all, they're dangerous, they're charming, and they're sexy," Ino sighed dreamily.
The pink-haired ninja waved dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, sure." She leaned across the table, gesturing for Ino to lean forward too. "You know what I think?" she whispered, her eyes darting quickly from one side to the other, like her next sentence was top secret.
"What?" Ino asked, easily excited.
Sakura bumped her head lightly on the blond's. "I think you've been watching too much of your gooey soaps."
Ino drew back, a hurt look on her face. "I don't know what you mean."
"You watch them an hour a day, every day."
"So? It's important to keep up. And I do not watch it every day."
"Yeah, on the days you're busy, you tape it."
Ino raised her hands in surrender. "It's better than what you watch."
Sakura crossed her arms indignantly. "What's wrong with what I watch?"
"You watch bloody murderers being thrown in jail, and not even by hot guys. They're caught by average-looking people," Ino said, speaking the word 'average' like it was a curse.
"I can't stand overly-handsome, perfect men-"
"No, Sakura," Ino interrupted easily. "What you can't stand is knowing that you can't have one of those overly-handsome, perfect men."
"Anything else, ma'am?"
Sakura took two of the plates from the blond waiter and set them down on the plain wooden table between her and Ino. She then began to cut her strawberry waffles into eight pieces, making sure to dump the syrup in equal amounts on each piece.
Ino snorted. "Dear God, Sakura, they're waffles. It's not like your cutting out someone's organs."
"Because I would know."
Ino rolled her eyes. Her best friend had no qualms with bragging about her internship and the best hospital in Konoha. "Yeah, I know."
"Anyway," Ino continued. "Did you see that waiter?" She gestured at the blond waiter that had brought them their breakfast, and was now clearing plates from a table across the room.
Sakura looked him from head to toe and nodded appreciatively. "Yeah, but," she squinted, "are those mouths on his hands?"
The blond girl shrugged. "So he's a little crazy. We all are, up in here."
"That's true," Sakura agreed.
Ino stood up. She gestured at the blond waiter, who was busy looking the other direction, loading dirty plates onto his arm.
"Yes?"
Ino sat back down. "Actually, we were looking for the blond over…" she trailed off, looking up at the waiter, smile on her face suddenly flirtatious. "What kind of beverages do you serve?"
"Anything you want, baby," the waiter smiled, the picture of sex appeal. His whitish hair was slicked back, and his irises were violet, probably contacts, but then who was she to judge? She had pink hair, after all.
Sakura raised an eyebrow at their blatant flirting, though neither of the two were looking in her direction.
"Well, I'd like some cream."
Are you available?
"Would you like it warm?"
Would you like having sex with me?
"Yes."
I'll screw your fucking brains out.
"Sorry, I forgot. We're out. I'll have to go out and get some."
I'll fuck you 'till you scream.
"I gotta go," Ino said, turning to Sakura, giving her a wink.
Sakura shrugged, "Use a condom."
"Hey! I'm going out! Cover my shift, Blondie!"
The blond waiter spun around, furious, "No, Hidan, un! I'm not freaking covering for you for the third time this week!"
"Well I gotta go! Don't be such a fucking pansy, Blondie!" he shouted back.
"I think I've got a solution," Ino said, mischievous glint in her eyes. The blond had stomped off, plates in hand.
Hidan turned back to her, apparently open to suggestions. "Yeah, babe? And what's that?"
Ino leaned over, purposely giving him an eyeful of cleavage, and whispered in his ear. The scowl on his face vanished, making way for an almost evil grin. When she was finished, he nodded, "Alright."
He ran off, reappearing a couple minutes later, dressed in a casual t-shirt and jeans, and tossed a black piece of fabric to Sakura.
"Congrats, Blossom, you're officially part of the Akatsuki Café. Or, at least, for now."
Sakura unfurled the black piece of fabric, quickly realizing it was an apron. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I am not working in a café."
She looked up. They were gone.
"Dammit!"
I didn't originally plan for this to be more than a oneshot. In fact, I didn't even plan on finishing or uploading it. But now, overcome with the strange urge to publish something, I have (uploaded, I mean). Please review, and tell me if I should continue!
- Red
p.s. I have no intents to make Ino and Hidan a couple, unless I get reviews from you guys telling me to do so.
p.p.s. If you havn't seen coffee art, go search it. It is amazing stuff.