First ever Ranma/Ah! My Goddess/The Wotch crossover as far as I know. This is a one-shot for now. If I see that people are interested I might write more. So review or send me a private message if you want to read more. Now, on with the show.
"DAMN IT!" An irate and damp Ranma cursed as she got back to the Tendos' after the impromptu flight she took with Akane Airlines. "And why is it always water? She should try baseball with the incredible aim she has… or try her luck at being a water diviner. It's incredible how easily she manages to find water sources. Why the hell doesn't she trust me, or at least let me explain?" The redhead wondered, getting more and more depressed. "I'm trying my best to make it work. I know I often suffer from foot-in-the-mouth disease, but that's not a good enough reason to hit someone. If only there was a way to put some order in my life. I'm so sick and tired of it all."
She went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. Not waiting around for the water to heat, she decided to apologize to Akane for whatever she had done wrong. Which was nothing, but at least it would placate her angry fiancée. She knocked on the door but didn't get an answer. She searched the house, but couldn't find the girl anywhere. The only other people present were her father and Soun, playing shogi like always.
"Where is everyone?" She asked.
"Nabiki is on a date and Kasumi is visiting an old school friend. Akane left earlier on; very angry and ranting about how you were out with one of your floozies again and how you would get it once she comes back. Now, I don't know what you did to her but I expect you to apologize for upsetting her," Soun explained, not taking his eyes off of the shogi board, knowing all too well that a single moment of inattention could mean his doom, since his opponent would never let pass such an opportunity."
"Yes, boy," Genma added. "You WILL apologize to your fiancée and afterwards we'll hold a nice wedding ceremony. You know the girl loves you. After all, 'the quarrel of lovers is the renewal of love' as they say."
Ranma shook her head, leaving the two morons to their game. How she hated it when the idiots tried to sound wise and all-knowing. And they were supposed to be the responsible adults in the household. Just as she was about to leave her stomach rumbled. "Say," she started. "Since Kasumi isn't here to cook, what will we eat? I hope you don't plan on letting Akane into the kitchen."
Both men paled when Ranma mentioned Akane's food and there answer was very quick. "We're having takeout. Why don't you call Ucchan's or the Nekohanten?" Genma answered, figuring that it was a good idea to have the food delivered before Akane returned.
Ranma shuddered, both at the thought of Akane's cooking talents as and the thought of having Shamppo or Ukyo in the house. She really wondered sometimes why the old morons always had to invite trouble into the house. It's not like there weren't any other restaurants in Nerima. Oh well, at least the Tomboy wasn't around to add fuel to the fire.
Looking in the kitchen she noticed that the water wasn't ready yet. She took the phone and decided to call Ucchan's, since the young chef was probably the less troublesome choice. After all she didn't have 'additional, troublesome baggage' following her around like Shampoo did.
The voice that answered that answered the phone, however, was much too femine and refined to be Ukyo's. "Hello! You've reached the Goddess Technical Help Line. We will be there in just a moment to grant your access request."
"Huh? What the…" Ranma wondered before jumping back in shock after seeing a beautiful woman in very strange attire step out of a mirror.
"Good evening," the woman said. "What is your desire?"
Ranma's jaw had dropped to the floor, partly out of surprise, but mainly because there was yet another stunningly beautiful woman in the house and with her usual luck the brunette was either a new fiancée or out for revenge. But her main fear was that Akane could return at any moment and findd her fiancé in a compromising situation with a strange woman while in girl form. She had no problem imagining the scene, since it had happened more than once. The tomboy would return home, see the new girl, insult the unknown factor, call her fiancée a 'perverted freak' or a 'cheating bastard', send her fly, and go to the dojo and break a few cinder blocks.
But to her surprise nothing had happened. The woman was smiling at her and was emitting such a strong and soothing aura of serenity that Ranma immediately calmed down.
"Forgive me for not introducing myself. I am the goddess Belldandy." She then gave the girl a slip of paper. "Here's my card. We specialize in helping people with problems like you. We received a system access request from you by telephone."
Ranma was not overly surprised to see a goddess in front of her. She had seen much weirder stuff in her short, but unfortunately exciting life. Then she remembered Saffron and immediately freaked out, fearing that the goddess might try and lull her into a false sense of security before making her move and kill her for taking the life of a divine being. She thought that trying to appease the powerful goddess would probably the best course of action.
"Erm. Hehehe. If you're here for Saffron, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to kill him. I just tried to save my fiancée."
The serene smile faded from the woman's face but the clueless look she sported next made her look even cuter. "Who?"
"Saffron," Ranma continued in a hysteric tone. "The Phoenix God from Phoenix Mountain. I killed him a few weeks ago. Even if he came back to life, I still took his life. I'm really sorry. Please don't hurt me."
Recognition flared in Belldandy's eyes. "Oh, him," she answered negligently, obviously not having much respect for the bird. "He's not a god. Whatever gave you that idea?"
Ranma didn't have the answer. True, Saffron never came out and admitted his divine origins, but she'd always assumed that… Damn! She was getting just as bad as Akane. "Ehehehe. Just forget I said anything."
"You managed to defeat him?" The goddess seemed genuinely impressed. "He might not be a match for a god, but he's still very powerful. That's an impressive feat for a mortal."
The pigtailed girl immediately relaxed once more and even blushed at the praise. Nothing better than flattery to get her into a good mood. "Well, I don't want to brag but, yes I am good. Erm, why were you here again?" She tried to get back on topic.
"Oh, yes. I'm here to grant you a wish. However, I must warn you that you only get one wish. So what…"
The young girl deflated, visibly not liking the idea of that. "No, thank you," she said before the goddess could finish her sentence.
Belldandy obviously hadn't been expecting that answer, since she immediately stopped in her speech and instead stared at the redhead as if she were completely out of her mind. "You don't want it? What do you mean you don't want it? Everyone likes wishes. You can have anything your heart desires. Become rich, have a lot of success with the boys, being a famous model or actress…"
"I'M A GUY!" She immediately shouted, puzzling Belldandy even more.
"One moment, please," the goddess answered, grabbed the phone and dialed a very long number. "Hello? Peorth? Could I have the file of one Ranma Saotome, please..? Yes, I'm with her right now, trying to grant a wish, and she refuses to… Okay. Thanks." After she had hung up, the marks on her face glowed brightly for a moment as she kept her eyes closed."
While she was going through the information Peorth had sent her, her eyes suddenly opened wide as she learnt just how chaotic the teenager's life had been and shook her head at some of the stupid things that has happened to the poor kid. "I see that you've had some bad experiences with magic. But I can assure you that the wishes we grant don't have any negative effects, well provided they aren't very poorly worded. I can see that there are a lot of things that need to be fixed in your life. And this is your chance to get rid of at least some of your problems."
"You don't say," Ranma sarcastically answered. "My life is so messed up that even a thousand wishes wouldn't be enough to solve all of my problems. The neko-ken, the fiancées, the rivals, my parents, this damn curse… to name but a few."
"You have a really negative look on everything. Haven't some nice things happened to you in your life? Can't some of the things that have happened to you even be considered a blessing? The curse for example."
Belldandy didn't expect the incredulous look on the redhead's face. "The curse? A blessing? I don't think so."
"Well," Belldandy tried to point out some of the positive effects, "quite a lot of people are much nicer to you when you're in girl form; you can learn how the other half of the population lives; you have more career choices than most people… and believe me, sex is incredible." She blushed as she mentioned the last bit, thinking back to all the 'fun' she had had with Keiichi the night before."
Ranma just snorted. "Yeah, right! The curse messed up my life so much… You know, I'd really like to meet someone who has had as many problems with random sex changing as I have."
Before Belldandy could stop the girl from continuing she was enveloped by a bright, wide column of light, just before a lightning bolt traversed the roof and struck her in the head and a strong whirlwind made a mess of the whole room.
Belldandy could only look on in shock as a portal opened below Ranma's feet and the aquatranssexual was sucked in. A tear left her eye. She had genuinely wanted to bring some joy into the teen's life, but the only thing she had managed to do was to make things even worse. She hoped that Kami-sama would have some compassion and allowed her to correct her blunder, and maybe even and turn this latest mishap into something beneficial. She jumped into the mirror and was gone, leaving the house empty except for the fathers who were still playing shogi and hadn't even noticed the crazy stuff that had just go on around them.
Jason Grey was slowly walking through the streets of Tandy Gardens not looking where he was going as he had his head stuck in one of his comic books, like he usually did.
But he interrupted his reading when he heard a shout coming from above. He had just enough time to see a red blur fall into a large dumpster a few meters away from him. Mostly apathetic to anything strange in general since there wasn't much left to surprise him, having seen it all… or almost, he tried to ignore this new craziness. If you knew Anne Onymous your life was predestined to be interesting. But as he was about to continue his walk his redhead sense started tingling. Since it had never steered him wrong so far he approached the dumpster and when he saw the redheaded girl getting up and about to climb out of it brain short-circuited. This had to be a dream. His second favorite comic book redhead of all times, right after Jean Grey from the X-Men, had just appeared in front of him.
THE END ?! (That's for you to decide)