Author's Note: So, i went over this fic, something i wrote AGES ago and was disappointed with myself and how lame it all was, so i rewrote it. Most of it is the same, just less...crappy...i think (and hope). Enlighten me as to how it was... Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see,
What I want and I need,
And everything that we should be,
I'll bet she's beautiful,
That girl he talks about,
And she's got everything,
That I have to live without…
And yet once again, I found myself lying on my back looking up at the azure sky. I exhaled as a pale white hand extended itself to me.
"Get up Kairi"
The usual impatience and emotionless-ness that laced his voice was not present; instead it was replaced by resignation and amusement. I took his hand and pulled myself up and gasped as the world spun around me.
"Are you hurt?"
This time concern was coating his soft, silky voice. I shook my head and said quietly "I'm fine"
"Good" He sounded relieved.
I tilted my head at him slightly before closing my emerald green eyes, knowing that there was more to come.
""WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"
I sighed, "I got distracted okay?"
"Is that so? You got distracted three times in a row? Without even being able to land a shuriken let alone a punch on me?" He asked me coolly, raising his eyebrows.
"It's not my fault that you have that damned Byakugan."I replied sulkily.
He laughed. Once briefly, twice a bit longer and then he broke down into hysterics. I scowled at him "Very funny Neji Hyuga"
He thumped down gracefully on the forest floor and as he took another look at my face, he erupted into a fresh bout of laughter. I couldn't help it; I flopped down beside him and laughed as well. When Neji was like this, alone with the people who he trusted implicitly, he was fun and his laughter was infectious. When Neji wasn't surrounded by crowds, and me, Seth, Tenten or Akira, were around him he'd let down that mask and reveal his real self. He was sarcastic, witty, bold, interesting, smirky, good natured and above all gorgeous-which he was anyway-. So was it so wrong that I was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with him?
Apparently God believed so…to Neji, I was nothing but his best friend, his confidante and the loser who couldn't use her ninjutsu because it was self-harming. That's right, you guessed it, I'm from the Mizuhara clan; one of the most powerful and distinguished as well as respected clans, yet scorned as only we knew how. Scorned because every ninjutsu we used consumed our life force along with it, leaving us injured or dead depending upon the power of the ninjutsu used.
He sighed contentedly as he leaned against a tree.
"You're ignoring me." He stated
"What are you talking about Hyuga?" I said waspishly
He laughed "Don't be mad, please…"
I rolled my eyes at him- as if I could stay mad at him.
"What?" I asked softly
"What distracted you? There's nothing here to be distracted by…that's why we've always trained here."
Yeah. I could completely reply to that "I got distracted by you Neji because I love you!"
Not. Could i get any sappier? Another not. If I were ever to say that, he'd give me one last disgusted look and leave and never talk to me again. We'd been together for as long as I could remember, since we were both genins till now, both chuunins at fifteen. Best friends almost since the day we'd met. Despite Seth's encouragement- he'd figured out that I liked Neji-, I just couldn't risk never being able to talk to him again.
There was another reason too, Tenten, my best friend, liked him too, and had told me this repeatedly. Sometimes I wasn't sure that she didn't know how I felt about Neji, but she was my best friend…I knew she liked him, she didn't know how I felt. What kind of a friend would I be if I just told Neji that I loved him and he somehow accepted me? -insert an As If-
"I was thinking about something."
Someone, more specifically…You! Cheh. Really, how more crappy could i get.
Neji looked away; it looked as if I had irritated him somehow.
"What? What'd I say?"
"Nothing" he said coldly.
"It's nothing" He said still not looking at me.
"Hey! Are you hiding something from me?" I asked him indignantly.
He looked towards me and then looked away, a little too fast to be considered normal, even for peeved Neji behaviour.
A sly grin crept up my face. "Neji Hyuuga! Are you BLUSHING!"
"NO!" he protested.
"You ARE!" I grinned
"NO!" he tried again.
I laughed away his protests "Come on! Fess' up!"
He seemed to turn even redder before blurting "I have someone I like!"
I froze. I felt like my heart had just plunged to where my sneakers were. My smile slipped off my face and I felt like I was drowning…I wanted to scream, yell, to tell him that he belonged only to me. This pain was worse than anything that had been inflicted on me physically. Instead I plastered a smile back on and said all enthusiastically, "Seriously? How come you didn't tell me earlier?"
I waited for him to detect the false note in my voice and was surprised when his next words weren't the kind of inquiry i expected.
He looked at me smiling suddenly, "You aren't mad?"
"Why would I be mad? So who is it?"
I felt like I was being buried alive in all my hopes and dreams, wants and needs but I kept up my charade. At least there was still something i could do.
Neji's eyes widened and a flicker of annoyance passed his face.
". . ."
"Hey…it's okay…you don't have to tell me."
He got up suddenly, still without looking at me, "It's getting late…let's head back"
I glanced at my watch, only six, we usually trained much longer, but I didn't protest…it seemed like I had annoyed him again.
Instead of waiting, he stalked on ahead and left me trudging behind him, lost in the thoughts of the person Neji liked. I wanted to hate her for attracting Neji, but most of all I wanted to see Neji happy, be it with somebody else. I sighed, Neji was a perfectionist, he always had had high standards; I was a fool to think he'd ever like somebody as ordinary as me. I bet the girl he liked was tall, beautiful, strong and altogether perfect for him. How I wished I was her…how I envied her. I really was a sorry creature.
Drew talks to me,
I laugh cause' it's so damn funny,
That I can't even see,
Anyone when he's with me,
He says he's so in love,
He's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows,
He's all I think about at night, cause'
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do.
We were back on speaking terms…I was relieved. I had tried asking him what he was mad about but he'd say something like "Just the fact that you weren't giving your all to the training". Somehow I doubted that but I didn't pursue it, despite wanting to. I looked up as Seth poked me with his lunch fork "What?"
"Neji asked you something…Were you ignoring him on purpose?" he said taking a bite out of his lunch and then looking as if he wanted to spit it out.(I noticed he didn't touch it after that first bite)
"Huh? No!I was just thinking about something" I focused myself away from my thoughts and realized that I'd been staring at Sasuke Uchiha somewhat dazedly. It was unintentional but how was everybody else to know that…Sasuke's fan girls were glaring at me , and Neji looked annoyed (probably because I was accidentally ignoring him or just because he didn't like what was on the lunch menu either ) and Seth was frowning at me.
"Sorry…what were you saying Neji?"
"The training session…today…after The Academy…is it still on?"
"Of course it is…why wouldn't it be?"
He smirked. "You'd better not get distracted by that Something again"
At the word something, his tone implied that he had tasted something particularly bad.
He smirked again.
For the second time in a row, I found myself pinned to a tree with a kunai pointed to my throat.
"Don't use Byakugan"
"No can do…Don't think about the Something you're thinking about"
"Hard to do"
He rolled his eyes as he backed away from me and pocketed his kunai.
He sat down; pulling me along with him "I think that's enough for today"
I looked at him. He had this unfathomable expression on his face. For some reason, the only emotion I could think of to describe it was just plain acquiescent, or like he wanted to prove something.
"Kairi…you're a girl…"
"Well spotted genius" I said aggravatedly, interrupting him.
He shook his head half-amusedly "Hear me out…"
"Tell me what to do…how to tell her…you know, the girl I mentioned yesterday, how do I tell her... that... I...I really think she's the one for me"
I felt my heart sink, looking away, and hoping the jealousy, the hurt, would be less obvious in a quieter voice, i murmured "Do just that…approach her and tell her."
Again, he looked irked. Unable to resist, I stuck my tongue out at him.
"So who is it?" I asked him cheekily, ignoring the way my heart was aching.
He frowned at me, "If you'd look away from Uchiha long enough, you'd know!"
"WHAT?" My eyes widened. What the hell?
"Don't WHAT me…you like him don't you?" It wasn't a question, more of an accusation.
"I DON'T!" I yelled, the ever-ready blush creeping up my face. This was NOT a conversation i wanted to have with Neji!
"YES YOU DO! THOUGH WHAT YOU SEE IN THAT SELFISH BASTARD IS BEYOND ME!"He yelled.
We were both standing across from each other at this point and I at least had no idea when we had stood up.
I flinched "DON'T CALL HIM A BASTARD…HE'S A VERY NICE GUY!" Even though he was by no means my crush, I truly did like the lonely guy. He wasn't a bad guy, just hard to get close to.
"HE'S A BASTARD, A PLAYER! LOOK BEYOND THOSE ROSE-COLOURED GLASSES OF YOURS AND ADMIT IT!"
"DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM A PLAYER!JUST BECAUSE GIRLS SURROUND HIM DOESN'T MAKE HIM A PLAYER! GIRLS FLOCK AROUND YOU TOO AND NOBODY CALLS YOU A PLAYER, DO THEY?YOU'RE A REAL HYPOCRITE!" I yelled
"IS THAT WHAT I AM?A HYPOCRITE?"
"YES…THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE, A SELFISH HYPOCRITE! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE HIM BETTER THAN YOU!" I screamed at him panting.
All of a sudden all the fight went out of his voice, he looked hurt and disappointed "You being one of them, right?" he gave a bitter laugh "I see…I understand now."
With that he turned around and ran out of the clearing. Realizing what I had done I yelled after him "Shit, NEJI!I DIDN'T…mean that" I lowered my voice as I realized that he was long gone. I leaned against a tree, my legs losing all their strength, and slipped down its' trunk, allowing the tears to flow freely down my face. "Neji..."
Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky cause'
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
So I drive home alone,
As I turn out the lights,
I'll put his picture down,
And maybe get some sleep tonight,
Cause' he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do,
He's the time taken up,
But there's never enough,
And he's all that I need to fall into.
Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see…
He hadn't talked to me since…Seth had tried patching up things between us and I had tried, but Neji had been unwaveringly cold to me. He hadn't as much as looked at me. Every time, he and I would cross paths he'd keep moving as if he hadn't seen me and would walk by in his perfect, flawless manner. He'd also stopped training at the clearing and was training with Seth now. I had gone to the clearing on numerous occasions, hoping he'd be there and would listen to me and forgive me but my hopes were crushed.
Still, I didn't stop going to the clearing, I went there after Academy and remained there alone practicing for several hours at a stretch. I pushed myself harder and harder, to the point that I stopped sleeping at night, not that I was able to do that anyway, my dreams were haunted by Neji. How I remained awake, not to mention alive, without any sleep was beyond me. It had been a week since we had fought, and six days since I had slept. Everybody had noticed and would ask me if I was feeling well and I would give a weak smile and nod, ignoring the way my body screamed for sleep, and my massive headache. There were dark circles under my eyes and most of the time I'd either train or shed tears…But Neji neither noticed nor cared…this thought would again bring tears to my eyes and I'd cry by myself in the shadows.
I hated being so weak…unable to survive without Neji. This was a low i had never imagined that I would sink to. I was just so unbelievably pathetic.
I leaned back against the trunk of the tree I had climbed upon and apparently nodded off. When I woke. I could swear that I had heard Neji's sigh. I leaned over the tree, to look and indeed it was Neji. He was leaning against the large weeping willow that we had used to rest on after training, that memory again brought tears to my eyes. I shifted, to wipe my eyes before i started bawling like an infant again, causing the leaves to rustle, and Neji's eyes snapped open.
A kunai was in his hand and before I could as much as blink, he appeared behind me with the kunai held to my throat.
I froze. He also seemed to realize who it was and backed off and jumped off as quickly as he had climbed it. I allowed myself to gaze at him, he was looking down and away.
"Neji…"I said softly
He didn't look up at me.
Disappointed, I called again a little louder "Neji!"
Again he ignored me. This exasperated me and I, without thinking, without knowing, leaped off the tree and flung my arms around his shoulders and burst into the tears that i had been trying so hard to hold back. Caught off guard, we both crashed to the ground; him somehow on top.
"Kairi? What do you think you're doing?" he said pushing himself up a little ways above me, my arms still clinging to his neck.
"Something i've wanted for a long time" I could feel myself turning red.
"Don't you like Uchiha?" He said flatly.
"NO, I DON'T! Some genius you are..." I yelled bitterly at him.
Momentarily stunned, he looked at me. "What?" he asked softly, unbelievingly, as if he was mistaking what i was saying.
"I love YOU!" I clarified, knowing that i had to be positively maroon by this point.
A genuine smile spread across his face and he grinned, I blushed harder (if that was really possible) realizing that he was still on top of me, before bending down and pressing his lips to mine. Stunned, I stilled before my brain actually comprehended what was going on, at which point, I held on tighter and kissed him back.
A few minutes later, he pulled away. I pouted at him but he just grinned his all-knowing grin at me.
"So, if I'm the idiot, why didn't YOU realize that the girl I wanted was you!"
I blinked at him and he laughed. He chose me… Something i had never imagined possible... Maybe i wasn't that poorly off after all...
Authors Note: Side-story to my fic "Dragons of Destiny". Revised Edition. First one was a little too fluffy and non-angsty, in relation with the whole situation thing...Also i had this feeling that my OC was being a real sap and desperado. -_-. Hope you enjoyed…please read and review!Ciao…